You will be learning this week about the tantrum from hell in reverse order, from aftermath to the bowl of spaetzles that ignited the 18-hour tantrum (intriguing, no? I mean, how could a bowl of German noodles do that much damage?). After calm descended, Josh and I went out to dinner to celebrate the release of the book, Navigating the Land of If, and then swung by the bookstore to see if it was on shelves.
We stopped at Barnes and Noble and went up the escalator towards the fertility section. My heart was pushing itself up towards my ears, thumping and thumping until Josh triumphantly yanked it from the shelf and handed it to me. I promptly burst into tears and an employee reshelving books walked past to ask us (not noticing the fact that I am wailing in the aisle) if the stack of books resting nearby were ours. We told him no and then stood staring at the cover for a long time.
Josh snapped a few pictures of my tear-stained, blotchy face and then gave me a long hug. The man returned and said, "I know the others weren't yours, but are you planning on buying that book?" Josh said, "we're not buying it, only because my wife wrote it." The employee was delighted and asked what it was about, and upon seeing the title said, "aaah, I will not be reading that book. We do not have any problems with fertility. I have four kids."
And while you may believe that was the best thing said in the aisle (because who doesn't enjoy having others remind them that they are normal whereas you are a little mess of ill-functioning ovaries and clotty blood), the man continued to tell me that I was the second author he had ever met. Which seemed a little strange since he works in a bookstore that holds readings, but he told me the only other author was Ronald Rood, who wrote the saucily named How do You Spank a Porcupine and Animals Nobody Loves. He met Mr. Rood at the age of four when he saved him by pulling him out of a lake.
At that point, the man pretended that he was going to jump from the second story fertility section into the escalator bank below and told me to save him, and what I wanted to tell him was that I had considered that very act during the ten days I was on Reglan but had reconsidered realizing that two stories was not enough distance to do the proper amount of damage and purchased the Time Traveler's Wife that night instead. After we all shared a nervous, uncomfortable laugh, we realized that my coupon was actually for Borders and decided to head a mile down the road to the other bookstore.
We found my book again in the fertility section and had another brief cry.
After we went book shopping and used my coupon, we headed out to a fake French cafe--by which I mean that it calls itself French and employs people who speak French, but there is nothing really French about it so it reminds one of the scene in Better Off Dead--for cake and coffee after learning that the diner nearby uses caffeinated root beer in their root beer floats.
What are you showing today?
Click here or scroll down to the bottom of this post if this is your first time joining along (hint: link to the permalink for the post, not the main url for your blog and use your blog's name, not your name). The list is open from now until late Tuesday night and a new one is posted every week.
Other People Standing at the Head of the Class:
Want to bring something to Show and Tell?
- If you would like to join circle time and show something to the class, simply post each Saturday night (or earlier in the week or on Monday if you can't do the weekend), hopefully including a picture if possible, and telling us about your item. It can be anything--a photo from a trip, a picture of the dress you bought this week, a random image from an old yearbook showing a person you miss. It doesn't need to contain a picture if you can't get a picture--you can simply tell a story about a single item. The list opens every Saturday night and closes on Tuesday night.
- You must mention Show and Tell and include a link back to this post in your post so people can find the rest of the class. This spreads new readership around through the list. This is now required.
- Label your post "Show and Tell" each week and then come back here and add the permalink for the post via the Mr. Linky feature (not your blog's main url--use the permalink for your specific Show and Tell post).
- Oh, and then the point is that you click through all of your classmates and see what they are showing this week. And everyone loves a good "ooooh" and "aaaah" and to be queen (or king) of the playground for five minutes so leave them a comment if you can.
- Did you post a link and now it's missing?: I reserve the right to delete any links that are not leading to a Show and Tell post or are the blogging equivalent of a spitball.