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LFCA Latest Issue: Friday, September 25, 2009.

Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

My Status: Fed Josh's almonds to the squirrels. They needed them very badly.

Friday, May 01, 2009

Friday Blog Roundup

I Twittered this, but it seemed worth covering in more than 140 characters. Do you know how some kids have a security blanket? Well, I have a security book in that I have to sleep with one next to my bed (and actually have sometimes slept with one in my bed too...ooooh, rav milon) and I cannot leave the house without one. It's not just a "the car could break down and I'd want something to read while I wait for AAA." It's truly a security thing by which I mean that I feel insecure without one. I don't even have to necessarily read it. I just need to have it in my bag.

Which is probably how I ended up with all of my back problems.

Do you carry a security book? And if not a security book, what is your security item if any? My other security items are a camera and a pack of post-it notes with a pen. Three things: book, camera, post-it notes (and actually four things) and I can function. Mostly.

The Weekly What If: You always hear stories where a bullet has been deflected off an item, saving the person. If you could have a bullet deflect off a book, saving your life, which book would it be knowing full well that it would become part of the newspaper account as well as urban legend (for instance, would you like to be known as the Rules Woman for time immemorial if that was the book on-hand when the shit-hit-the-fan?). Not that I'm encouraging you to carry around Ayn Rand, though, she does write a thick book.

Speaking of books, the book is officially in bookstores today. Going out on a bookstore date tonight. If you want to read the introductory chapter of the book, I've posted an excerpt on the book website.

And now, the blogs...with a few extra in honour of NIAW.

My Struggles with Infertility has a post about a baby shower. I like the post for its honesty and frankness--going to a baby shower is hard. It's not that she wanted it difficult for her friend; ideally, MSWI would have been pregnant too instead of starting IVF. This post is more about MSWI swallowing hard and doing the thing she hopes her friend would do for her if the situations were reversed. And trusting that the opposite would come true and being that good friend, to me, is a very brave step.

I love this post about parenting after infertility by Our Family Beginnings. She writes: "Sometimes you want something so bad that it becomes this panacea in your head. If only I lost weight, had straight hair, got a new job, a new whatever - I’d be happy. For me it was a child for Mr. Badger and I. I wanted it so terribly much that it became everything. Every high and low could be traced in some way back to what our progression to parenthood had become." It is a post that many will relate to and honestly, this post gave me more hope than merely the fact that parenthood can happen.

Our Own Creation
has a post about moving on after her last FET. Perhaps I love this post because it's sort of like a play where everyone is focused on what is happening on the stage without a consideration for the night after the curtain closes and the set is packed and cleaned. My favourite line in the post is "It’s sort of a step back, but sometimes that’s part of moving forward…not running as fast as you can to get away from the past, but stopping to check the map and making sure you’re still on the marked trail." It is just a series of gorgeous, heartbreaking thoughts.

Life Induces Thoughts, Mostly Random has a post about living with the death of her mother. This post moved me beyond belief; I returned to it a few times to read it again. In our community, we write so often about loss moving in the other direction--mothers losing children--that it took my breath away to read these thoughts; especially and not despite her inability to get it all out, put it all into words. I hope she keeps writing about her mother and my heart goes out to her because May, as we all know, is so damn tough.

This post for NIAW by Uppercase Woman is just gorgeous. She writes: "Hope becomes a field of glass shards we are dragged through: it taunts you with with twitches and twinges that maybe, just maybe, could mean something good, and then sideswipes you with pregnancies that fail. Infertility steals your faith in God and the goodness of the universe." And that is merely the beginning thoughts in a long paragraph that will have you nodding.

Lastly, To Baby and Beyond also has a post about infertility for NIAW. It begins: "Infertility has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through. It's hard because everyday you are bombarded with images and news that reminds of what you do not have and what you are unable to do. It is frustrating because while you want to be happy for others and live a 'normal' life, IF robs you of that ability." And she perfectly describes what infertility means to her, how it has changed her life, and what others need to understand to walk in her shoes.

The roundup to the Roundup: do you carry a security item, answer the weekly what if, and lots of good blog posts to read. See you back here on Saturday night for Show & Tell.


Kymberli said...

"The Land of IF" landed on my kitchen table a couple of nights ago. I'm pretty sure that that book will help many a woman dodge and deflect several bullets. If I'd had that type of advanced knowledge years ago, I probably could have self-diagnosed my problem and felt more reassured that there was a solution ahead before I'd dragged myself through 2.5 years of trying to conceive naturally with no luck.

Well done, Mel. That book is so chock-full of information that it won't only deflect some of infertility's bullets, but drop a whole damned A-bomb on it.

loribeth said...

All great post picks, Mel. As for the "security item," you & I had an e-mail exchange on this, but I am exactly the same way about reading material. I always bring a book or magazine to bed with me, even if I just hop under the covers & turn out the light (& even though there's already a couple of big stacks of books right beside my night table...!). I generally read the newspapers on the commute to & from work, but I always stick in a magazine or book as well, just in case...

areyoukiddingme said...

I don't really have any security items per se, but there is one thing that I feel distressed if I am out and about keys. I'm fairly certain this is due to the time when I was taking the trash out to the alley and my charming sisters locked me out of the house. I was about 5 at the time. They locked the back door, so I ran to the front door. They locked that one too. So I went back to the back door and pounded on it for a while, until I got really angry. Then I kicked the screen door (an old school one with a metal bottom, and then 2 panes of glass above that could be replaced with screens, but weren't at this point in the year) - I meant to kick the bottom metal part, but went a little high and shattered the glass. I let out such a shriek that my sisters thought I had killed myself. But I was just sobbing hysterically because Mom was going to kill me. Turns out I wasn't the one who got in trouble that day. But, I always have to have my keys...

So far, Borders doesn't have your book in stores in my area yet. I hope it will be in later today!

Delenn said...

I always have a security book in my car or in a desk drawer at work. We have books practically lying around everywhere in the house so you can just pick one up.

Eve said...

Hmmmm...hear, hear on your book being a wonderful bullet deflector...though I'll admit that I have to wait for my monthly paycheck before I order it...yes, things really are that tight for us, sadly.

As for a security item? I would say it is my good old fashioned checkbook-sized date calendar that holds my life in it's pages. I'm a therapist, so I have all my sessions in it, upcoming RE appnts, dentist appnts, name it! Why haven't I switched to the nifty electronic calendar in my phone? Well, because I'm a traditionalist, and scared that I might (with the errant push of a button) delete my life.

As for a book that I might want 'nicked'...hmmmmmmm, anything by Nick Hornby gives me so much pleasure and has me laughing out loud....I'd like to be remembered as someone who appreciates a nice dry and satarical sense of humor.

Mrs. Gamgee said...

I totally hear you about needing a security book... A few years ago, my hometown was dealing with a huge wildfire. 30,000 people were evacuated from their homes, my family included. In the panic to get all the animals and family keepsakes into our vehicles, I completely forgot to pack even one book. I almost had an anxiety attack when I realized I didn't have anything to read. We were staying at my grandmother's condo, and the only book I could find was an old Danielle St.eel novel (blech!). I carried that thing around for three days like a two year old carries her blankie!

Jendeis said...

Security item: my watch. As Jerry Seinfeld said, "gotta have the watch because, oops, I'm completely out of oxygen and look at the time! Now I'm dead and I'm late."

Also, earrings. I never leave the house without earrings in, just in case I run into an ex-boyfriend, and it's like, well, she's a slob, but those were nice earrings.

orodemniades said...

Oo, lookee, I'm posting from work - don't tell anyone. Also, the book(s) should arrive today but I forgot my camera - will take a piccy tomorrow.

Seriously, just one book? Admittedly I work in a bookstore, but in my backpack I have:

1 spiral bound notebook for writing sf

1 paperback sized notebook for recording titles and authors of books I see at work that look interesting

1 sheet of crosswords

Car: book of crosswords

Bedside: stack 'o books

Bed: current read (Jim Butcher's Small Favor, now out in tall sized paperback)

Bathroom: Power of Play
Rest of house: EVERYWHERE

/posting from work

Carrie27 said...

Security item would have to be my phone. I will start acting like a rabies infested beast without it. I need to be able to reach someone in case of an emergency, at all times. When, I'm home by myself (happens far too often) I sleep with the cell and house phone inches away.

Beautiful Mess said...

I don't have a security book, but if I had to have a book deflect a bullet for me, it'd me my OLD hard bound copy of Shakespeare's' "Comedies, Histories, and Tragedies". That book has been in my family since I can remember. I remember looking at it when I was younger and thinking it was so old and so beautiful. I never touched it because I didn't want to ruin it. The poor thing is about to fall apart, but if that book could talk...
Thank you for mentioning my today. The support it so very much appreciated and needed this week.
I'm going to check out of bookstore here today and bug them about your book.

Helen said...

I go nowhere without a book. Nowhere. I must always have a purse large enough to hold at least one book and - I confess - if I'm more than halfway through the book I will have the next one in line with me just in case I finish the first one.

I'm so thrilled about your book, Mel. Honestly, it's fabulous.

Mary said...

My "security item" is definitely my iphone. Mainly because I keep audiobooks on it.

Even if I don't use it, knowing that it's there to tell me stories until I fall asleep keeps me calm.

Great post picks!

Jill said...

my security item is definitely my phone. I have mini panic attacks if I leave home without it!

Jess said...

YOU KNOW....At first I thought you were kind of crazy. AND THEN I realized so was I!

I take my Bible on every trip I go on. And I sleep with it on the bedside table. I'm also superstitious that nothing can sit on TOP of the Bible. I guess that's not so much superstitious so much as respectful, though.

I don't always do our devotions out of our Bible...sometimes the readings are within the devotional, if you're following my too-many-words explanation, but I always always take the Bible on a trip.

I'd vote the Bible for stopping a bullet, too.

My other security items iPhone (oh, love it, and it CAN BE A BOOK!), camera (got to have it just in case!) and a swiss army knife. Useful and you never know. Might get a hangnail or miss an eyebrow that needs plucking!

Coming2Terms said...

Congrats on the book making into bookstores this week! That's huge!!! I'll be sure to look for it in our local Borders just to point to it and and tell people I know the author ;-)

re: security items. nope. if I did I'd probably lose them!

Anonymous said...

When is the book going to be available in Canada? Do I have to wait till June?

JamieD said...

When I read your question, I knew immediately what my security items were: gum and chapstick. Can't live without 'em. I actually went into a near panic today at work because I couldn't find my chapstick.

Kristin said...

I don't know if its a security thing per se but I either take a book or a stitchy project everywhere with me. I absolutely HATE be left waiting and having nothing to do except twiddle my thumbs.

Ryan's Mommy said...

My security item is my iPhone. Many times I've driven off without and turned around several miles down the road to come back for it. Can't be without the phone, lifeline to all good things.

As for the what-if I were shot scenario, that's a good question. I'm looking at this as a PR opportunity for whatever book I happen to be carrying. What cause do I want to gain exposure in the national media? Well, that's easy. Infertility.

If you want, I'll start carrying your book around, in case I get shot at.

calliope said...

awaiting an amazon delivery...woohoooooo!!!!
SO effing proud of you, sweetie!
I used to carry around a very tattered and well-read and well-loved copy of Salinger's Franny & Zooey. When I was an actor (in my last life)I found many of the rants in the book brought me comfort.
But I don't think it would save me from a bullet. hmmmm....maybe a small hardback copy of sexton poems??
Trying to catch back up with my blog peeps- but wanted to let you know that I think about you all the time with such extreme gratitude.

MrsSpock said...

I have carried a security book since grade school. Hence the name, "bookworm" in school. My requirement for a purse is that is has to be large enough to carry a book. Even a hardback- but not the entire LOTR saga in one volume.

I carry what my friends term a suitcase.