The Daily News

LFCA Latest Issue: Friday, September 25, 2009.

Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

My Status: Fed Josh's almonds to the squirrels. They needed them very badly.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Tomorrow is the New Day

Grey is the new black.

Stripes are the new dots.

Gin is the new wine.

Wait, bourbon is the new wine.

No, I was right the first time, gin is the new wine.

Comments are the new hug.

2350 is the new goal.

Tomorrow is A New Day and Manda had the good sense to kick open the doors to the Lushary. I thought everyone could gather here for a drink before they went over to Our Own Creation and Sweet Zoƫ to knock those old dates off the dashboard wall. And, for Manda, who has been over here polishing the glasses since the weekend, a strawberry drink in honour of her festival. I have pried myself away from Facebook long enough to make it.

For those who have no clue what I'm talking about since I posted about Allison's situation right before Memorial Day weekend, please click here and read about A New Day because we really need your help tomorrow. Well...starting tonight. Starting at midnight GMT and running through the entire 29th of May. 24 hours of clicking your heart out at her blog. She will have a start post up when the time starts and then put up an end post when the 24 hour period is over. Just so you know if you're clicking at the right time.

We haven't yet opened the doors to the bar this month and it seemed like a perfect time to do so. As always, it has been a bit more than a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I'll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person's blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while (or if this is your first open bar as someone who found this space through NaComLeavMo), sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don't have a blog--gasp!--you can always leave an email address if you're looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you're a regular at the bar, I'll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I'm glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I'm talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation back on this current post.

So have a strawberry cocktail and tell us what is up with your life and then go over and help out Allison.


vee said...

Surely I'm not your first customer? Perhaps it's a little early to start drinking - I'll just have a St Clement's please.

I'm in a much better mood than the last time your bar was open, thanks to the nice people I met here, who had some great advice for me. What a great place this is.

My FSH level came down and we got the green light to start a long protocol IVF cycle. I've been downregging for 5 days now and, bar the hot flashes, everything is good. I feel hopeful again for the first time in a while!

So, what's the news round here, people?

Julia said...

What? I am first? For real?
Ok, how's about a virtual cosmo for me then. Glad to wait on the real one, much as the mindfuck that is the subsequent pregnancy could use some liquid courage.
I am alone in the house this week. Getting stuff done and generally doing ok with not being where the fun is. But what can I say-- the lushary is just in time.
Ok, can I have another cosmo now?

Lisa said...

Hmm, how about a nice hot chocolate with some Baileys, please? And, don't forget the whipped cream!

Funny that you should ask for the good, the bad, and the ugly. I blogged just the other day about The Ugly, The Bad, and The Good. We've had an awful lot of the ugly and the bad over the last few years - really, more than our fair share. But, I'm working really hard to keep finding the good, especially as we prepare for IVF #6 later this summer!

loribeth said...

Since it's still pre-lunch, I'll have a mimosa, please. ; ) The good: FINALLY starting to see some warmer, spring/summerlike weather (I actually wore capris to work for the first time earlier this week). The bad: a lingering on-again-off-again cold/sinus infection/sore throat & the second round of antibiotics in the past month. The ugly: finding out I had food allergies last weekend when I broke out in itchy red blotches (eek)(see my blog for details). Not something you expect to confront as an adult. :(

Kate said...

I would like my usual Gin and Tonic.

Feeling a littel btter after my last post and have decided to try to make more of an effort to reach out, socially. Of course, I've only been back to work for two weeks and it is already insane. This going back to the moon thing is killing me.

Jen said...

Virtual pomegranate martini. I've wanted one for months, ever since I couldn't have one.

I am in a terrific mood because I am loving all the comments. Mel, another fabulous idea.

Anonymous said...

The Lushary is here! I hope you all enjoy your nice shiny glasses.

I'll have a Sue Rose (recipe on my blog), my dear bartender friend.

I'm in a bad place lately. DH will say things like, "They'll find sperm." In my head, I finish the sentence with "Except if they don't." And he'll say, "Even if they don't, we'll be okay." And then my brain says, "Except if we aren't." I'm tired of worrying about this. I'm tired of feeling as though my life is consumed by this. I just need for this TESE to be over with already so we can move on with our lives. I just want to know the score, you know?

Bottoms up, ladies.

Michell said...

I think I'll just stick with a dr. Pepper since I'll be driving in the next couple of days here and I have a lot of packing etc to do.

SarahSews said...

I'm here. Happy to still be pregnant. Haven't worked in three weeks and could get used to it. :) I thought I would sleep in every day and now that I don't have to get up to go to work either hunger or an active baby wake me up at 4 am

In the land of high bp and low amniotic fluid, all remains stable -- fluid level hasn't changed in three weeks. And his growth as of last week was on track.

So while I wait, I'm knitting.

Cece said...

Hurrah for virtual drinks. I'd like a beer and a gin and tonic. Yum. Not mixed together though. It's just this weekend - those are the two things I would have relly liked to drink.

Today I heard the heartbeat on the doppler at my OBs. I cried a little. I'm 13 weeks on friday - and things are finally feeling real.

KatieM said...

Virtual strawberry mojito...yeah I saw one advertised the other day and I think my mouth actually started to water....mmmm, mint

Ha, anyways....I'm virtually drinking to everyone today. To everyone who is still struggling with IF (go for the hard stuff!), for those who have moved into the pregnancy realm (virgin, please) and for those just jumping into this unknown called parenting (maybe anything to help you sleep those first few months (years!) )

kcmarie122 said...

This is my first visit to the lushary! I think I'll have a pint of my favorite...Blue Moon!

I'm in desperate need because I'm nearing the end of my TWW from my first IUI and not feeling very positive about it.

It doesn't help that the least little thing brings on the tears. I HATE that I can be so emotional. I need some stoppers for my tear ducts! Maybe a Blue Moon or two will help dull the senses!

Anyway, thanks for all you do in this community Mel. And I agree wtih Jen, this NaComLeavMo thing is so fun!

emma said...

Fantastic. Bloody Mary please with LOTS of olives. Pickled okra if you've got it.

DH comes home today so I'm in the mood to celebrate. Tomorrow is my monthly encounter with the vag u/s. Fingers crossed that all of our pent-up angst will pay off with two beautiful lines.

calliope said...

woo hoo! So glad the lushery is open for business. I am craning my neck & looking around for all of my new friends that I have met via commentathon. Best idea EVAH!

May I please have a really strong mojito? I'll buy a round for anyone that will dance next to the jukebox with me.

calliope said...

woo hoo! So glad the lushery is open for business. I am craning my neck & looking around for all of my new friends that I have met via commentathon. Best idea EVAH!

May I please have a really strong mojito? I'll buy a round for anyone that will dance next to the jukebox with me.

Kim said...

I am now hooked on Mike's Hard Raspberry Lemonade! lol We are a little over three weeks into the 10-12 month wait for our baby girl from South Korea. Referrals have been pouring in for May which is so great because they have been rather slow up to this point this year! Bad news is I got a letter from the IRS questioning our medical expense deductions from 2006 - um, can you say an HSG, a million u/s, 4 million blood draws, mock transfers, semen prep and analysis at least times, follistim, repronex, bcp, lupron, PIO, 1 cancelled cycle, 4 iuis and 3 IVF's with ICSI! Not to mention the COBRA payments even though we had ins. thru hubby's new job which of course had no IF coverage!I am not worried but some days I can barley keep the floor clean let alone come up with all those bills and canceled checks (which I now only get copies of in my statement) and pharmacy charges! And I am in no way complaining about having to clean toys off the floor or about having some IF coverage - but to throw a wrench into things just puts my organizational obsessiveness out of balance! Is it 5 pm yet?

Dreamer4agift said...

Pregnant or not, it's a virtual lushary, so I'm bellin' up to the bar for a malibu and pepsi.

I'm feeling miserable with a case of OHSS and waiting to see if this pg will go okay.

But I'm grateful for this group of ladies (and a few men).

Dreamer4agift said...

Pregnant or not, it's a virtual lushary, so I'm bellin' up to the bar for a malibu and pepsi.

I'm feeling miserable with a case of OHSS and waiting to see if this pg will go okay.

But I'm grateful for this group of ladies (and a few men).

JJ said...

Ive been enjoying a cool glass of Riesling every other night--Im not overdoing it, but not neglecting my "normal life" either. So to keep with reality and lushary, I'll have some Riesling, please!

Baseline appt. tomorrow for IVF numero dos. This is the part of the cycle that things start to get "real" for me...

Mook was supposed to have surgery yesterday, but it was an awful-no-good-very-bad day: they gave us the wrong prep-info. *sigh* I havent felt anger like that in a long time.

Long story short: his parents refused to believe that he had heart burn at the tender age of 16, and as a result of not taking him to the doctor then, now we are either dealing with an intestinal tear or surgery scheduled for early July. Poor Mook will continue to suffer until then...

**susy** said...

I'll have cosmo in honor of "SATC" movie this weekend and in 'hopes' (see blog) that this IVF results in a healthy pregnancy.

The L-Demon is gone since my lupron was cut in half, and that in self deseves a "clink clink".

And of course to NaComLeavMo, how awesome are all those comments and support?!?!


Heather Johnson said...

I was dropping by to say hi for NaComLeavMo and I find a BAR ... woohoo! I'm not exactly part of the group (if you want to know more about me, click here and read to the bottom of the post) but I know that's ok here. :)

This whole NaComLeavMo thing has been a blast so far. Thanks for putting it together.

Oh, I forgot to order a drink! How 'bout a shot of tequila, no lime, no salt, just chilled. Thanks!

JuliaS said...

I am overwhelmed with babyloss this week - not of mine, but those of so many others; more than a handful proclaimed in the media (the Chapman family, another member of the band Selah and the NICU death of another entertainer's preemie) and closer to home - a friend whose niece just died at the age of 2 mos coming just days after the anniversary date for the loss of my own nephew to SIDS.

Too much - for as much as my heart hurts for them, I know their hearts hurt ever so much more.

Anything to make me numb or give me strength to be a good support.

Elizabeth said...

Ooohhh, a glass of cote du Rhone, please! Or maybe some vanilla Stoli?

Things are ok. I'm anticipating receiving the second draft of our surrogacy contract today or tomorrow, and I hope it is perfect so I can send it off to our surrogate for her approval. I've been trying to get in touch with the surrogacy/donor coordinator at our clinic, but despite 4 messages, she has not called me back, which is really infuriating.

I'm so impatient to get started. I'm so afraid that something will prevent us from cycling, making 2008 a complete wash as far as progress on the baby front. Argh.

Phoebe said...

I guess I'll have a virgin margarita as the anti-depressants I'm on say I shouldn't drink too much. Maybe put a weeee bit o' ta-kill-ya in it puleez?

So it's only been four weeks, and I'm still crying everyday, wondering if I'll ever be a good mom. One thing I'd like advise on is prenatal depression. If and when I ever decide to try again, I want to make sure I don't have that again. It's really hard to find any info or blogs on depression during pregnancy.

Hokie said...

(Ouch! Stop it, why are you twisting my arm?)

A cosmo sounds lovely, I think being virtual trumps virgin.

I had an ET on Saturday, which I think makes me 4d post 3d transfer? Do you count the day of transfer? that right?

Someone help me count, this drink has gone right to my head. And tell me when I can POAS please!

Allison said...

I think I'll have a glass of champagne. A New Day starts in less than ten minutes and I feel like having some bubbly!

ms.bri said...

We're headed toward financial ruin in a handbasket but something will pull us back from the precipice - it always does. We are in an ugly custody dispute that makes me feel like eating someone's face but I can't blog one word about it. I feel asexual and bitch-tastic and today I had a giant fight with my husband about our 9 month old child's hypothetical modeling career. Banner day all around.

Pass the Guiness and Jameson's chasers, please.

All that said... I have a very good life. My baby is amazing and alive and that's seriously enough.

Oh, look - now I am all drunk and sappy. Seriously, guys. I love you. No, seriously - I. LOVE. you guys.

Amy said...

Can I get a nice virtual red wine to go with the one I'm sipping in real life? Excellent.

I'm waiting. Waiting to try again (maybe August), wondering if I have PCOS, and missing Aiden, who should still be growing but isn't. But I'm also happy...happy for how strong my marriage is, how good my friends are, and how faithful my God is. So it's a mixed drink, er, bag. Cheers, ladies.

Antigone said...

A margarita sounds really good to me.

My cat is sleeping on my dog instead of on my lap. I'm happy.

pamela.ilovemcdreamy said...

I've become a virtual alcoholic, just reading your blog, and waiting in anticipation on a new entry.



Rachel said...

Still drinking. Still not in the best place. Still surviving.

I'm currently working on my autobiography for the adoption application and it's making me a little sad, so I think I'm going to throw some Bailey's on the rocks right now.

Also, I'm not sure whether I've ovulated yet or not, so there's yet another trivial thing that is driving me crazy.

But really, I'm better than I have been. Why doesn't this comment sound like it?

Queenie. . . said...

Um, no thanks, I really can't. . .I've been on the wagon for months (due to damn antibiotics, not by choice), but fell off with a resounding thud on Saturday. Four bottles of red wine split between four friends, and then there was the vodka. . .blah, it'll only be a Shirley Temple for me.

Boy was it fun, though.

Beth A. said...

Normally I don't get to drink because of an allergy to alcohol, but if it's a virtual drink, surely my body won't mind that? I miss being able to have a nice sweet hard cider.

I'm feeling post-vacation letdown after getting back from a two-week roadtrip only to have my entire family get sick. We're swapping viruses like they're going out of style and I'm a little afraid of what sort of pestilence we left behind the houses of various people we love in the Midwest. But on the bright side, it's awfully nice not to have driven anywhere in two days. And I can entertain myself while I'm sick with giving and receiving comments, which I've been loving.

Care said...

Popping in for the first time to the Lushary - I'd love a strawberry margarita, with salt please. I need it to de-stress from all of the job and house selling anxiety. I was supposed to go for an interview tomorrow, but the interviewee wrentched his back, so it's a no go. And just learned that the local job I interviewd for went to someone I work with. will all come together eventually.

Geohde said...

Any chance on a mocktail? Served horizontailly, of course, since that's how I do things these days...

Whilst I feel kind of rude mentioning current p-word, I'll drink to so nearly being in the third trimester, even if I AM contracting all the way.


VA Blondie said...

I have been on a pinot noir jag lately, so I would love a glass of pinot.

Now that I have moved and settled, I need to find MDs. I finally made a gyn appointment, and I am gathering the courage to make an IF appointment, as well. I cannot do anything until I see a doctor first. I think I know who I want to see for IF, I just need to make the appointment.

Maybe I will have another glass, for courage.

Kymberli said...

I'll take a Call a Cab. I've never had a real one, but I hear they're so potent that just one knocks you so flat on your ass that the only way you'll get home is if you call a cab. I'd like to be knocked out until next Wednesday. I'm 3dp5dt and slowly driving myself insane.

Heather Johnson said...

Well, I posted a comment WAY near the top, but Mel wanted some book suggestions, so I'm back. I'll have another tequila please! :)

Here is a list of moods/topics/whatever and books I've read reacently that go with them:

Serious: Emergency Sex
Womena and Literature: Reading Lolita in Tehran
Quick Read: Madonnas of Leningrad
Intro to SciFi: The Sparrow
and my current favorite: The Poisonwood Bible

I would also mention Water for Elephants but I hear you just did that in your online book club. If you read any of these please visit me and comment!

Jill said...

I've never left a comment here before, but I'd love a huge pina colada right about now!

I have PCOS and AF hasn't made an appearance since the end of Feb. I FINALLY get in to the Dr next week, so hopefully I can get something to get the under control. We've had an order in for a SA since January, but DH has yet to comply. TTC is kinda on hold, I guess, for now.

Heather Johnson said...

ok, that was SUPPOSED to say "Women and Literature" ... gues the tequila's gone to my head already!

Heather Johnson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
sara said...

Great idea! But honestly all this talk of yummy froo froo drinks is making me thirsty. I need a martini hard core! (just kidding, I won't be tipping any back for several months, hehe) :-)

Duck said...

Well, I'll have a fruity martini, I'm sure you're a great bartender, so give me some thing strong and fruity, with an umbrella and fruit floating in there...

What's new - i *may* finally get to finish my ivf cycle with an actual transfer of those little frosties, if my UOD (uterus of doom, now maybe a Ute of hope) grows beyond 5mm, if we can get a 6, we're thawing... I would love to hear from anyone with a secret to growing the lining ( I tried acupuncture on my ivf cycle and it shrunk the lining, went from a 4 to a 2)....
oh and I'm loving nacomleavmo, so many amazing blogs.

Elizabeth said...

I just want to thank the lushary b/c after I posted about waiting for my contract and return phone calls, I received both the contract AND a call from the clinic advising me on what tests we need as well as the very welcome news that we can start our testing now!!!!

I think this bar is magical!

vee said...

Ok, NOW I'd like a proper drink - pint of lager please. I wish I'd been in time to sign up for NaMoLeavMo -I feel left out now! Waaah!

Pamela Jeanne said...

Hmmm. I'm torn between asking for a drink since the numbing sensation is a great escape and facing, sober, the realization once and for all that I'm INFERTILE! Not gonna ever be pregnant. Barren, Barren, Barren. Why is it taking so long to sink in?