The Daily News

LFCA Latest Issue: Friday, September 25, 2009.

Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

My Status: Fed Josh's almonds to the squirrels. They needed them very badly.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Friday Blog Roundup

I am a beach person. I am a flip flops and paperback book person. I am a sandy beach bag that advertises a random film festival person. I am a bandanna-wearing, t-shirt-shrugging, popsicle-eating, fireworks-seeking beach person.

I must have been a crab in a past life.

Wait...scratch would a crab reincarnate into a Kosher Jew? Maybe I was a sea bass.

People have a vacation personality; a type of vacation they constantly gravitate towards when they need to relax. Josh and I are beach people, which is not to say that we can't be talked into a lake retreat or a Disney vacation (Josh, do you want to take me to Disney World?), but we're happiest at the beach when the aim is to relax (as opposed to learning vacations when we go to a random city in Europe and spend a week going to museums...but that's a different sort of vacation and not really relaxing). We're not antiquing people or spa people or adventure people or mountain-climbing people. We are not wear-nice-clothes people or even wear-clean-clothes, per se, on our vacations.

We come home completely encrusted in sand.

The ChickieNob and Wolvog enjoy a good beach vacation. When the ChickieNob gets to a beach, she immediately needs to plant herself face-first into the sand and roll about until she is completely coated like a pre-fried chicken leg. We set up the blanket and she tracks said sand across the blanket and that is her pure bliss--being crunchy and sandy and calling out things like, "there is absolutely a lot of sand in my mouth; how do you think it got there?"

We're pretty open to any choices or paths our children may take as they age--my cousin always jokes that they'd need to have sex with robots to shock me and then that book came out and I accustomed myself to the idea of sex with robots and I'm fine with that too. But I would be really sad if they weren't beach people. I know they have to be whatever they're going to be vacation-wise, but I really hope that they remain mermaid-searching, lobster-worrying, seashell-collecting beach people.

What kind of vacation person are you? If the goal is to relax, where do you go? And do you go back to the same location each time or choose a similar type of vacation in a new spot?

We're going to Chincoteaque in a few weeks for my birthday (yes, Lori guessed right. Bat Mitzvahs are held near birthdays most of the time. So if my Bat Mitzvah anniversary was last week, it means my birthday is...coming up quite soon). And stopping at Smith Island on our way home. I have built up Smith Island to be the most incredible place in the entire world and part of me is terrified to visit and have my vision of the place changed. But what if it's every bit as good as I hope it will be and I've been missing out on chances to be in that space?


I already know that my Show and Tell when I return from Smith Island will be pictures of Smith Island because that is so what-did-you-do-on-summer-vacation old school. Can I just express for a moment how much I love Show and Tell? I look forward to it all week and I keep dragging Josh back to the list to show him the stories I love. It is happening, of course, this Saturday night/Sunday too and you are not only welcome to join, but you are...what is a much hipper term for "bat-shit insane"?...if you don't join because who doesn't love looking at stuff and then showing stuff?

I made an icon for Show and Tell. Truly, I didn't realize how my name rhymed with Show and Tell until I was making this icon last Monday. It made me want to rename the project Melly's Showy and Telly except Josh nixed that.

You can access the Show and Tell archive on the sidebar and I will updated that each week in case you miss it. You can click here for the icon code if you wish to have it for your blog. It links to the archives. And the best part about Show and Tell is that you can jump in and out week-by-week; join along whenever you feel up to it. And if you're not going to be in town, pre-set your post to publish on the right day and email me your blog url and I'll get it on the list even if you're out of town. And then you can read everyone else's post when you return.


We're a few days into NaComLeavMo. It's so much easier for me this year. Once I hit my daily minimum, I stop keeping track of my comments. Last year, my whole desk was covered in post-it notes where I was counting my comments for the Commentathon. I love getting comments--who doesn't--and I love leaving them, though on a strange note, I'm actually getting fewer comments (which sounds very Evita-ish and you can almost picture me singing, "you muuuuuuuuuuuuuust loooooooooooooooove meeeeeeeeeeeee"). I know it's not a perfect system and the length of the list also means that the comments are spread out a bit. But I hope everyone gets a comments-high this month (a post that receives the most comments you've ever gotten). And I love the short bios that are popping up for new readers.


I know I said U.T.E.R.U.S. was going to take a break for a few weeks and then regroup to raise money for the next recipients. And then we raised hits instead of money for Allison to create a new best day on her Wordpress dashboard. And that brought out more stories of people who have their worst day ever listed by Wordpress as their best day ever. Which means...U.T.E.R.U.S. isn't taking a break.

Allison spoke to the good people at Wordpress who decided to change the name of that section to "busiest day ever." Which is obviously much better, but some people still don't want to see a certain date when they open their dashboard. The next up is KCMarie at Becoming a Different Person. She only needs 215 visitors to change the date listed. Frankly, Allison got 8,582 with very little planning. Don't you think we can do this right now? Please click on that link when you're finished reading the Roundup and help her out. KCMarie, can you let us know at the end of the day if we did it or if you need us to do it again?


And now, the blogs...

Mrs. X at The Young and the Infertile had a post about what makes a "full" life. She brilliantly observed, "I have always adored reading obituaries. They are truly a person's life resume. They are the record of who you were, what you did and where you went to the rest of the world. Of course your family knows what you did and has special stories about you, but isn't everyone most interested in getting their story out to as many people as possible? For most people, that doesn't happen until they are dead. What has struck me in recent years reading obituaries is that more often than not, the discussion of the person's life only mentions their children at the very end, usually in the list of survivors. The narrative of their life focuses on them, what they accomplished (other than having children) and what they enjoyed. In short, the focus is on the person's interests, history and accomplishments, but not necessarily that they had children. For most people, you wouldn't think that they had children at all!" You can't help but wonder which interests will end up in your obituary. Will Josh mention the cookbook obsession or the way I littered the house with post-it notes? Will this be the way the rest of the family finds out about the blog? It was a perfect post because it left you thinking for hours afterwards.

VABlonde at The Only Constant is Change had a post called "Feeling It." She wrote: "I have really been feeling the infertility thing lately. After the baby at meeting on Sunday, I went to a baseball game with friends. Our friends brought along their 11 month old. Of course, they spent a little time talking about how much he is walking and what his first words were. Yet another reminder that I am not part of the mommy club." It's a quiet, little post. Wistful.

Lisa at Helping Make Sense had a post about the false expectations others feed us. The promises people make that they can't deliver. The most interesting point is how one can still have hope and not play into the false expectations. "Sitting here, on the brink of IVF #6, I still have hope. Sometimes I wonder if it's not hope, but, stupidity, but, that's a whole other story. But, hope is quite different from false expectations. I have hope. I no longer have expectations. Did I at the onset of our first IVF? I'm sure that I did, but, it's so long ago it's hard to remember. Am I jaded? I don't know, I'd like to think that maybe I'm just more realistic. Nobody.....NOBODY going through infertility treatments can know for sure that it's going to work and to set those false expectations, to me, just seems wrong." I walked away from the post nodding my head.

The final slot goes to a blog that reminds me a lot of eighth grade graduation. I used to bawl at graduation--literally could not get through the day--even though, since I worked in a private school, I would still be seeing the very same kids the next fall. They would be down the hall in the upper school, but I would still see them. I don't do well with change. Bea from Infertile Fantasies wrote a semi-final (never say never once we hit 2009?) post called "Closing the Book." And yes, I am crying while I write this (partly because I have my period and partly I said...I'm bad with change). And I hope I let her know prior to this point how much her blog meant to me, but in case I didn't, Bea truly lives the adage: "you must be the change you wish to see in the world." With 50 good deeds, she made a small difference in the world each week. She made me think 1000 times--sometimes she made me think so hard I would get confused and then have to start over at the beginning of the post again. She started the International Infertility Film Festival (Bea! What will become of that?). I know she will still be writing and she will still be commenting and she will still be an email away whenever I have to ask her one of my annoying, "Bea, how do you do this" questions when it comes to anything blog-oriented. But Infertile Fantasies has always been a blog I've clicked on daily. Thank you, Bea, for writing it. And for being you.

Roundup to the Roundup: Join along (or at least read a bunch of good stories if you have nothing to show) for Show and Tell. Loving NaComLeavMo. What kind of vacation person are you? And please visit Becoming a Different Person and help her place a new date on her dashboard.


Antigone said...

We used to go there every summer. Enjoy!

bleu said...

Comment comment comment.


JuliaS said...

Are we supposed to be keeping a record of our NCLMs? (Panic!)

I just make sure I get off at least 5 and a return (now that I am caught up) and haven't been keeping track of the where's and where-for's and work down "the list". Are we supposed to be turning these in?

Anywho - love the icon for Show and Tell! Now just gotta come up with a tell to show . . .

Your vacation sounds fab!

Nicky said...

"Wait...scratch would a crab reincarnate into a Kosher Jew?"

Karma? :)

luna said...

just wanted to wish you a very happy early birthday, I know it's coming up. the beach sounds lovely!

there are some places we return to over and over for the warmth and familiarity (e.g., a few little towns along the coast). but lately we've been more into exploring new places together, and we create time to relax as well as explore on a new adventure.

Rebecca said...

I'm a cottage type person. Britain has a wealth of little cottages for rent in the countryside. I was a caravanner growing up, but Himself doesn't see the point of going somewhere crappier than your own house. I'm not really a hotel person. I don't fly, so it's either Britain or drive to France. In 6 weeks we're driving to the South of France (near Cannes) and we're staying in a gite (can't do the circumflex) and it's got a pool and it'll be so, so relaxing. I will just vegetate and get tanned.

oh2btigger said...

My husband's more of a beach-y type of person than I am. I prefer to take what you call "learning vacations" I'm a very curious person and I want to know as much about something as I can...sort of drove my dr. crazy when I found out that I had cervical cancer and as she was explaining it, I was interjecting. I know she rolled her eyes at me a few times ;)

pamela.ilovemcdreamy said...

Hmmmm.... it depends on my mood when we plan a holiday.. I'll do a New York any time or a Bali getaway when I need a good well-deserved massage.

I love your vacation. It sounds fun.

Vee said...

Beach, Beach, Beach ! Give me the beach any day. With winter arriving this weekend we are thinking of doing a country/mountain weekend away soon but it just doesn't excite me like a beach holiday does.

Have fun!

**susy** said...

I'm such a disney girl! With living in southflorida, disneyworld is only 3 hrs away and I can't even count how many times I've been there. Growing up, its a different experience w/ my girlfriends, than when I was a kid.

Have a great beach weekend!! And honestly, I'd love to see a pic of the chickienob all covered in sand.

niobe said...

Relaxing makes me tense. Not surprisingly, beaches are always a bit problematic.

Kathy V said...

I am going away for the weekend so my show and tell stuff is up now.

I love going to the beach but I usually become a magnet for sunburn. So the beach doesn't always love me. I guess it is the very fair skin.

loribeth said...

Hard to tell, because most of my vacations until just recently have been spent going to visit my family. I love the mountains (I could sit & stare at Lake Louise in Banff for hours), but I also love the beach/lake. We have been to Cannon Beach, Oregon, three times in the last 15 years & are dying to get back there again. But we'd also like to see the Atlantic (Nova Scotia, PEI, Newfoundland -- and Cape Cod. Always wanted to go there).

Io said...

Hmm. All of our vacations are about the people we are visiting and not the place. I don't think that we've ever gone on a vacation as just the two of us. We didn't even take a honeymoon. Damn. Is there something wrong with us?

Shelby said...

I'm such a beach gal! Love it, especially if there are cabana boys and margaritas involved. Unfortunately, my husband is a camping guy, and beach gal and camping guy really don't agree on where to vacation. Thankfully, this summer I won! We're doing Ocean City the same week his family will be camping in Assateague. So we get to do a bit of both, BUT, we'll have air conditioning and a real bed. Color me happy!

Tracy said...

We LOVE beach vacations, and every year that we've been married we've taken our long vacation at a beach somewhere. Sand, sun, leisurely beach days...books, travel Scrabble, swimming, LOVE IT!

We went to Cancun for our honeymoon, have traveled the coast of California (which is not the best beach vacation unless you don't mind cool beach days), Fort Myers (Sanibel Island), and our favorite, Cabo San Lucas. It took every bit of willpower I had not to buy a timeshare there.

K @ ourboxofrain said...

I was actually just thinking about the what-type-of-vacation-person-are-you question this morning. When I listed my favorites, they were generally beachy (Moorea, Hawaii, Cayman Islands, Mexico). I love swimming, and I love reading, and both are easily done at the beach. That said, we usually try to do some other stuff on beach vacations, though it's mainly other outdoor activities, some of which are beachy themselves -- biking, snorkeling, kayaking, hiking, etc.

As for the new places v. going back, we do both. We take a week at our lake cottage in Canada every year, and every other year we go to the family camp my family has been going to in Maine for 55 years, but we also try to hit one new place every other year or so (and managed 2 last year -- Mexico and eastern Europe).

Have a wonderful birthday and a fabulous vacation!!

Piccinigirl said...

We are beach people..My mom loves to tell me that I used to call it the "big ocean" and her favorite picture of me is at about 2 and I am sitting like a frog at the edge of the ocean, hair blonder than a bottle can get it at this point and just smiling. Her "beach baby".
When I found Mr Kir I knew from our love of the beaches that we would be together forever mainly because we both enjoyed the sunshine and sand so much.
Before the twins , we would go to the islands twice a year (Aruba being our favorite, St Maarten being a close second) of course the Jersey shore, and our anniversary every year in Cape May, NJ. Heaven on earth. :)

this year we'll be in Florida in October, no Aruba this year because the boys are small, but maybe next year. I can't wait to get them to the places on earth we love the most. :)

SarahSews said...

I love the beach but other than two trips to Hawaii I haven't really done a beach vacation per se (not like you'll be doing!). Some day I'd love to rent a house on the beach and just veg. Until then, we do lots of driving and overnights near the beach on our way to the ILs in southern CA. And Tracy is right -- California is not the best place for a beach vacation unless you like foggy summers. But if you can hit it in the fall, oh my how beautiful.

DH and I also like just exploring vacations -- get in the car and go and see what we find. And Paris was the best vacation ever, despite being exhausting, as we were discovering something together and enjoying just each other (no friends or family to visit) and of course we brought home What's not to love about that?

SarahSews said...

I love the beach but other than two trips to Hawaii I haven't really done a beach vacation per se (not like you'll be doing!). Some day I'd love to rent a house on the beach and just veg. Until then, we do lots of driving and overnights near the beach on our way to the ILs in southern CA. And Tracy is right -- California is not the best place for a beach vacation unless you like foggy summers. But if you can hit it in the fall, oh my how beautiful.

DH and I also like just exploring vacations -- get in the car and go and see what we find. And Paris was the best vacation ever, despite being exhausting, as we were discovering something together and enjoying just each other (no friends or family to visit) and of course we brought home What's not to love about that?

Samantha said...

Love the beach too!

Love your blog too, you keep us busy!

hopeful #1 said...

This is a commenting frinzy and I'm loving every minute of it! I'm striving for the "leave a comment on everyone's blog in a week and you could be on the wall of honour" goal! So far I'm doing well! =) I've printed all of the blog names to help with my tallies... ha! It's so additing!

I can't stop, it's too dangerous!!!!

Happy Friday!

Care said...

I'm an adventure vacation kind of person. Like the vacation that I'm off to - tomorrow! Tree climbing, horseback riding, zip lines, rappelling down waterfalls, white water rafting - I can't wait! Costa Rica, here we come! Now, I love a good beach, especially with a good drink and a good book in hand, but for more than a weekend, I want to find adventure!

Lisa said...

Glad you liked that post!

I am such a Disney girl (my dad even works for Disney!)!! I do like the beach, but, Glenn doesn't, so, taking a long vacation there is tough. But, I'm going to have to feed my beach craving at some point this summer!!

tryingin2007 said...

just in case I miss you on monday...


the blog is awesome as ever. NCLM is going great. such a clever gal!

Jen said...

Come to Disney! It is fun and totally awesome!

Amy said...

My husband and I are bad at being vacation people. We're just not that great at leaving work behind. But we'll work on that in Mexico this summer and I'll report back!

Jess said...

I am MOST VERY CERTAINLY a beach person. I love it. I love love love love it.

We're in Hilton Head right NOW actually. It's THE perfect beach vaca and we've come every year for quite a few years. Disney has condos down here with a beach house, and Hilton Head's dining is if you love seafood.

Oh yes. Beach vacations are the best. For sure.

VA Blondie said...

I am a beach person. I love going to the beach and doing nothing. I find I really need to stop when I am on vacation. I have not been to the beach in years. Unfortunately, Hubby needs an activity on vacation. So we worked out a compromise. We plan our vacations around an activity for him. That way I can stop and he can play. We started taking our vacations in Arizona. We both love Arizona, and I can still get my sun and sand!

Michelle said...

We love the beach too...although we also love just exploring new places without much of an agenda.

Searching said...

Happy early birthday! In honor of you, I will force myself to spend an entire blissful week at the beach. Starting Sunday. As in two days. Sigh, the things you do for people you love. ;)

Adrian & Tashida said...

Happy Early Birthday! Hope that you have an amazing, wonderful, fun filled day!

Heather.PNR said...

Happy birthday!!!

MLO said...

Does anyone remember the Dead Milkmen's song "I Don't Wanna Go To The Beach"? That's me about the beach. I'm pale. I burn walking to my car. The beach is equal to pain to me.

Now, my idea of a vacation scares some people. I love Stratford, ON. - and other more rural theatre festivals. The problem is no one else wants to do it the way I do it. Arrive Thursday in time for the first show. Do a matinee and an evening play on Friday and Saturday. Do the Sunday Matinee. I haven't been in a few years, but that is mostly because I lost touch with the other person I would go with. (Her husband thought it was an insane schedule, too.)

Oh, and yes, I will do tours and the side concerts and lectures in-between shows whenever possible.

I also love non-US Civil War historical sites. (Got dragged to lots of Civil War Sites as my Dad is a Civil War buff.)

I'm an action / educational girl on vacation. Normally, I'm pretty much slug-like, but take me to an interesting spot and I'm all for the tourist thing!

Susan said...

I like white sand and blue water but I'll settle for going to the beaches here in the USA. Anyplace where I can relax, enjoy my family and get away for awhile. I went camping last year in Thorpe and I liked that too.

katedaphne said...

I'm a beach person too. That's why when we moved to Florida we agreed we'd never live anywhere but the beach. In fact, we're about to go on a beach walk now.

So for a vacation, I don't see the point of spending money to go to the beach. Lots of people here go to the Caribbean, Bahamas, Amelia Island, etc. but I think that's weird. I like historical places and urban settings, so we travel to see cool old stuff and cool new stuff. Fave places: NYC, Rome, Greek isles (ok, those are beachy but not like Fla. And I'm Greek.)

Nit said...

First of all... thanks for NCLM! I have come across so many interesting blogs (including your own) that I wouldn't have otherwise found.

I, like you, am a beach person. I love the sun & the water & I prefer simplicity. With that being said, I also love big if I could live in California or Florida, I would be in heaven!

Take care & Happy Birthday :)

Barb said...

For vacations - we like to take adventures. We like nothing better than to plan to immerse ourselves in a certain area for a certain period of time with no real strict itinerary other than to drive or walk or whatever from pt A to pt B and stop as much as we want along the way to explore things that catch our eyes. It's awesome. We want to understand the place we are visiting and get a little taste of it as if we were locals. We're also people who like to LIVE in different places a lot, so that makes sense.

As for relaxing - we do that along the way, but we are addicted to the excitement of discovery. We do relaxing vacations in short bursts. That will be a weekend trip or a day trip. We, too, LOVE the beach and to just go there and veg. But it's only an hour from our doorstep, so it's not hard to do. :)

Loved the chickienob's sand proclamation. ;)

JJ said...

I could sit on the beach and people watch all day everyday. Toss in a good book, and Im in heaven.

Sam said...

A crab would likely be reincarnated as a Kosher Jew, because that way you would never have to worry about eating any of your former family or friends.

SeaStar said...

I'm a beach person too - shoeless and sleepy on the sand, especially a wide horizona beach after sunset in the tween, sunset in the west, moonrise in the east beachperson. And happy birthday. you are a blessing - do so much for so many of us here. I'm just beginning to know a little of whou you are and what you do here in the blogoshere. You deserve celebrating.

Bea said...

I'm an exploring vacation person. New places, backpack, few nights here, few nights there.

Thanks for the send-off note. Sorry I made you cry! New site will get off the ground at some point after exams, also IIFF thoughts coming.