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LFCA Latest Issue: Friday, September 25, 2009.

Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

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Friday, May 18, 2007

Friday Blog Roundup

DD at TKO...more or less... had the brilliant idea a while back to come up with a Friday Blog Roundup icon that people could use on their blog. And then Summer at Worrier/Warrior came up with the idea of the lasso. So if you've already had an entry in roundups past, feel free to add this icon to the bottom or top of the entry or repost the old post again with the new icon to let everyone know that your writing kicks ass (at least in my opinion). And if you are in roundups current, again, feel free to use this icon. And if you are in roundups future, I will start using this icon each week so you can steal it whenever you need it. It would be sort of kind of cool if you linked the picture back to the roundup where you were featured (you link pictures just as you link words, by clicking on the picture, clicking on the link icon in your tool bar, and filling out the appropriate url).

Since everyone seemed to like it, I decided to incorporate the guessing game once a month or so into the Friday Blog Roundup. If you missed the game a few weeks ago, below are the normal descriptions of the blog entries that are featured in the roundup. Only this time, instead of stating the author, you need to guess who wrote the entry without clicking around on the Web to check everyone's blog. Number a scrap of paper from 1--5 and write down your guess. Then (since we're doing this on an honour system) check your answers by clicking on the "and the author is..." hypertext at the end of each entry. See how many you got correct and leave a comment with your score. Anyone who gets all 5 correct or the highest scorer gets bragging rights for the month. And an icon from Microsoft Paint that also features a sperm and egg. Since one can never have too many sperm and egg icons...

But, wait, before we begin--Bleu posted this picture and story about this crocheted hat that she lost. There are so many knitters and crocheters in the infertility and pregnancy loss blogosphere that I thought someone could take on recreating the hat as a project. So if you're up for it, leave a comment for Bleu and let her know.

Okay...so name that blogger:

Mother's Day itself brought out many more reflections on the day than the pre-holiday entries. In this entry, the author talks about the King Solomon story where two mothers each claim to be the mother of the child. Solomon decrees that he will split the child in half in order to give each woman part of the child. One woman agrees that this is fair, but the other cries out not to hurt the child but to give him to the first woman. Solomon awards the child to the second woman since she is clearly the mother. It's assumed that she is the mother because only a mother would put her child first like that to protect him over her own happiness. But this blogger asks a more interesting question: "Suddenly, today, it occurs to me I may have missed the point. Where in the text does it provide conclusive DNA proof of genetic relationship? It seems to me King Solomon unmasked something much more important than that. Perhaps his wisdom was this: the woman didn't act that way because she was the "real" mother - rather, she was the real mother, because she acted that way. So this is for all the real mothers out there today - regardless of what definition others may hold. Regardless of whether you've conceived, given birth, passed on genes, or held your child in your arms. Happy mother's day. I recognise you. And you're doing a terrific job." I'm pretty sure that I will revisit this post on many Mother's Days to come. And the author is...

This author wrote a fantastic list of questions for Mother's Day trying to catch the definition of motherhood. If she conceived a child but it didn't live, is she a mother? If a woman gave birth to her but didn't raise her, is she a mother? How do some people get this title and others do not? She writes about her own status as a mother and the child she lost: "I conceived a child. I carried it in me. I worried for it. I saw its heartbeat. I prayed for it. I decided it was a boy and decided to call him Gabriel...But I never held him in my arms. I never looked him in the eye. There is no birth certificate, no social security number. No one will give me a card today or wish me a Happy Mother's Day. Most of my family doesn't know he existed. So am I a Mother?" I personally think the answer is "yes." I believe motherhood begins long before you hold a child in your arms. There are too many childless mothers out there. As well as too many non-parenting mothers who take the title without the job. It's an interesting list of questions and a fascinating debate. Add you own opinion after you check who the author is...

This blogger has a gorgeous post this week about the summer interns who have filed into her office. They're bright-eyed, they're eager, and--most of all--they haven't been worn down to a nub. This blogger wishes she could be in that space again, before her life became overrun by infertility. She longs to feel excited about something, relax, dream. My favourite is number 4: "I would like to stop thinking that "I can't" because of the "What if's". I can't make plans for vacation, what if I am cycling? I can't go ahead with that house project, what if we need the money for another cycle?" Anyone who has never experienced infertility can never understand, and anyone who has experience infertility can't help but nod their head. And the author is...

I bawled when I read this blogger's poem about himself especially when I got to the final thought: "Halved, I hope to be, sleepless at night and thrown-up upon by day, holding half of me and half of my greatest love entwined in one small body who will emerge from the womb with more hair than I have had since my senior year at the University of Iowa – I am a father in waiting." It's a beautiful thought--though it's the idea of parenthood and sharing this child (whether it shares your gametes or not) with the greatest love of your life. And the author is...

Lastly, this blogger has a fantastic vent this week on the frustration of having to justify feelings. After she runs through the list, from starting to try to having several failed transfers, she asks the question: "Through it all, through the whole fucking process, you spend all your energy trying to justify the fact that you feel shitty to people. To your family. To your friends. To your husband, who though he'll comfort you when you cry, gets really frustrated when he hears you say "this is my fault." But that's how you feel. And my question is this. Why is it SO FUCKING HARD for people to tell us: "Feel whatever you want to feel?" It's incredible how much energy is expended on holding in feelings, putting on a happy face, or explaining yourself in a process that is already emotionally draining. Head over to read the whole post because I can't really do it justice here. And the author is...

Now that you have your five guesses, click on over and see if you're correct. And then come back and tell me how many you got right.

Lastly, if you live in the D.C. area, D.C. bloggers are getting together at Clydes in Chevy Chase this Friday at 7 p.m. LJ from Looking for 2 Lines has organized the gathering and I've been promised that it's the first of many get-togethers since I can't make this one and want to meet up with everyone. Click here for more details including a description of what LJ is wearing so you'll know how to find everyone. Also, leave her a comment and let her know that you'll be there so she knows how many to expect.

11 comments:

TeamWinks said...

Crap, I only got three.

Love the new icon! It is always an honor to get picked out of the extremely talented group of women and men out there for the Friday Blog Roundup. So, I'm certain those bestowed with the honor will proudly display the icon on their site!

Tina said...

Oh, my odds went down today... I got one right. **blush**

Diggin the new icon! And, to thank you for giving me the kudo's to be on a couple of roundups, I wasted time at work and posted it on my blog! HeeHee!

Rachel said...

I didn't get any right =(. However, I did read some new blogs today which was fun.

DD said...

Summer's suggestion was right along the same lines I was thinking (great minds and all that...). Nice work putting it all together, Mel. I suppose you want me to believe you have time to do the laundry, vacuum and mop floors, too? (really? want to come to my house?)

Somewhat Ordinary said...

Wow, I got 4 right so I'm getting better at this game or maybe I just spend too much time reading blogs.

Bea said...

I got four!

And I'm going to nab that icon, but not now, because it's nearly midnight and I'm trying to pack, even though I've tried to not only burn my hand off but now also stab myself with a fork. And then I accidentally put on that Tori album where she sings about her miscarriage and now I'm a mess. Save me from myself, someone.

Bea

Matthew M. F. Miller said...

Well, I got three right, but I don't know if I'm allowed to count myself.

You are such a great blogging friend, and thanks for introducing us to so much quality work.

Karen said...

I go four. Bleh.
Someday I'm going to get all of them!

I so wish I could make it to the get together! :(

megan said...

only one right this week! my moment of blog guessing glory has clearly passed. . .
great posts this week, Mel. thanks!

Changing Expectations said...

Hi Mel, Thanks so much for including me in the roundup! I am going to display the icon on my blog without a doubt. I am bummed that I can't make it to the get-together tonight, but will make every effort to attend the next!

Karaoke Diva said...

I wish I lived in DC! Have fun!