The Daily News

LFCA Latest Issue: Friday, September 25, 2009.

Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

My Status: Fed Josh's almonds to the squirrels. They needed them very badly.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

The New Adventures of the Old Infertile Myrtle

Even though we're currently hard at work for the next International Infertility Film Festival (July 28th in case you haven't signed up yet. And don't give me an excuse like "we don't know how to make a movie" because I didn't know how to make a movie until the great Bea took me under her wing. This is how you make a movie: you get instructions from Bea. You don't look at them. You go and sweetly say to your husband, "you are very good at learning new software. I am terrible at learning new software. Will you please follow these instructions that Bea gave me and put the movie together?" He makes the movie and you just write the song--he'll give you the music too--record it, and make the images in Microsoft Paint. It's easy!)...wait, what was I saying?

Oh...right. Even though we're making a film for that festival that pertains to the seasons, we made another film in the meantime. Strange things have happened since we last saw Infertile Myrtle. She learned that for $80 and an hour wait, anyone can go to the social security office and change their name. So she did. Her new name is Sharon Barren. And while she was there, she changed her husband's name too. So his name is Darren Barren. Sharon and Darren Barren.

Sharon still has a uterus of doom. And she still has her squash blossoms and triangular body.

I made the movie page below so I could link to it on the sidebar. What is Uterninus's Law, you ask? You'll just have to wait a few more days until the movie is finished to find out. But like last time, I give you these stills until you can hear Sharon's kicky little guitar song.


In this scene, Sharon contemplates bashing Darren over the head with her trusty guitar when he comes at her with her nightly stim injection.



In this scene, Sharon bemoans the fact that her doctor wouldn't prescribe a painkiller for the HSG and when she cried out in pain, the radiologist hissed, "it doesn't hurt that much!"



In this scene, Sharon tries to drown herself in a grande, decaf, no-foam, extra shot, vanilla latte.

Sharon will be in action soon when Josh finishes laying out the frames for the movie. Until then, you can sign up for the next film festival and create your own musical cartoon.

20 comments:

Ellen K. said...

LOL. DH's name is Darren. And he has in fact referred to himself as "Barren Darren."

Beagle said...

I can't wait!

(My husband doesn't even know I blog, so how will I explain needing a movie to post on one??)

mary said...

Oh yay!!!! Something to look forward to. I can't wait for the sequel.

Rachel Inbar said...

I love it, can't wait to see the movie!!!

megan said...

yea sharon and darren barren! i love it! can't wait to see it...

Bea said...

Hurrah! I can't wait, either.

Bea

Josh said...

When the film is done, will you unchain me from my laptop?

Reproductive Jeans said...

Ooo so cute already! Cant wait to see the finished product!

Piccinigirl said...

they have the cutest infertile names ever!!!!
this is awesome, can't wait to see it.

Matthew M. F. Miller said...

Wow - that picture with the Starbucks cup alone is worth the price of admission.

Brilliant.

carole said...

Can't wait to see it. I'm afraid if I did a movie dh WOULD be pummeled with a guitar. Can't have the police having too much evidence and all. lol :)
~Carole

TeamWinks said...

I can't wait! Sounds hysterical!

Changing Expectations said...

Love the new names. Can't wait for the movie.

sariel & shlomit said...

Hey Mel...
I've been out of the blogging loop for the past little while...glad I stopped by for a little laugh and a little inspiration!
peace
shlomit

Sunny said...

Oh my gosh I just love the part about the HSG and the tech saying, That didn't hurt. It so sounds like my 2 that I remember experience. HA! I even had a tear the last time and the nurse said, "You are crying? It didn't hurt that much." Ummm how would she know, she told me she had never had one done.

I can't wait to see the entire video!

Jackie said...

Yesterday I wrote my husband an email about helping me make a short. He pretty much reflected that right back at me with a "Good Luck" added. I think that he will come around. Especially if I continue to hound him daily...

Erin said...

I love it! Is the Starbucks cup the infamous one about how "women who spend all that money on trying to conceive should 'just adopt'" (or something to that effect)? I know Julie at A Little Pregnant posted about it at one point.

Sharon's HSG experience sounds strangely familiar...

Wen782 said...

Ahhhhh. Another installment of laughs, cries and thinking material.

Will you be singing in this one, as well? ;)

The Town Criers said...

Yep, it will be me warbling away. And we already recorded the music for the third movie so that one will be coming soon. PLUS, Josh gave me the music for the 4th film (which is our IIFF film) last night so I can start working on that and will definitely have it finished by July. Come on--everyone make a film so we can have a big festival again :-)

Artblog said...

Cannot wait!

You are a scream :)

X