Sometimes you need a bit of sweetness, without high-allergens (if the high-allergens you're trying to avoid are chocolate and nuts and not wheat, eggs, or dairy...). Sometimes, when the world is giving you crap, you need a golden gamonkey.

I am not sure what a golden gamonkey actually is. But once the kids named them, it seemed to fit these cookies perfectly. I am picturing a gamonkey as a dreamlike visitor like the werefox out of Chabon's Summerland that takes you on this amazing adventure and makes you see infertility (or whatever your struggle may be in the moment) in an entirely new light. That's a lot for a cookie or any inanimate object. Especially one that you consume. But that's where I am with the golden gamonkey cookie.

I think I'm in a worn sweatshirt place. Not just because it is winter and freezing outside. More in a change-out-of-your-day-clothes-and-spend-the-night-in-a-worn-sweatshirt-watching-old-
movies-you-could-pretty-much-recite-by-heart place. I think it's all connected--the need for wishes, the worn sweatshirt, curling up with a book. It's a need for care. For someone to care for and for someone to care for me. A lack of surprises. Something comfortable. Knowing exactly what to expect and having those expectations fulfilled. As I said, a worn sweatshirt.

So...my recommendation, for what it's worth, if you are also in a worn sweatshirt sort of a place in life right now. Make the cookies. Freeze half. Consume the others in bed. With a blanket pulled up. A book next to you. A cup of hot chocolate. Maybe spiked with some liquor--maybe not. And just breathe. And don't feel guilty if the floor isn't being vacuumed or the dishes aren't being washed. Sometimes, you need to just embrace the worn sweatshirt and not fight your body into a little black dress.

You know what I mean?