The answer is that it's a wish box.
Larisa has this gorgeous post in the Creme de la Creme list about holding onto another person's hope. She writes: "She is holding my hope for me, because I can't. I picture it as this bright, tiny ball of light that she has clenched in her hands...I can hold hope for others so well. I promise. My offer is this: I will hold your hope for you, however you picture it. In return, I only ask that you hold mine. My tiny little ball of light."
It's such a gorgeous idea. In my case, it is usually Josh who holds my hopes and wishes--who believes in them when I can't. And I thought about all the times I have sent good thoughts to another person or made a wish on their behalf. And how it just feels less lonely to know that someone else is sharing the burden of your hope--someone else is believing alongside you. And if, for whatever reason, you can't get out of that room of doubt in order to keep believing or you can't remember why you started all of this in the first place because all you feel now is so much pain...well...you can know that there is someone else who is fanning the little flame of hope for you until you can do it again.
This is an on-going project. There is a link to this post on the sidebar so it is easy to find. If you post your wish or your hope in this space, I promise to add my energy to your words and wish alongside you. You will, at the very least, have an additional person wishing for you too. But my other hope for this project is that if you have a few minutes in your day and you can send some good thoughts out there for another person, you will read through the comments and repeat their words to yourself, holding their hope for a moment in your hands in order to add strength to the wish.
Do I believe that it is as simple as speaking words and making them come true? No. But I still wish on stars and I still drop pennies into fountains because I think putting those feelings into words gives one a sense of purpose and direction. We can all use some hope--and the point is not even the wish itself. It's that there are hundreds of stirrup queens and sperm palace jesters that have your back on the days when you can't have your own back. And that is the power of community.
There is no limit to the amount of wishes you can leave. Place one on the list every day or just on the days when you need a little extra hope floated your way--before a beta, after a transfer, when choosing a donor or surrogate, or waiting for your referral. You can place your name or leave your wish anonymously. It can be a specific wish about an event or an all-encompassing wish about your future. It can be fertility related or it can be another type of wish that you need help holding. It would be nice, if your wish does come true, to return and leave a comment about that and spend a few minutes reading through the other comments and helping them with their wishes. It is simply a way of offering a hand back to those still in the trenches or those who are still waiting for their wish to come true.