Perhaps this was simply selfish, but I have a wish that needs extra holding. It is not fertility related, and I feel shy writing out the words, but I promise to return and write down the outcome (in words rather than initials) when it comes true.

So please wish for me: P.B.J.B.S.A.K.H.S.

So glad I can help you hold it: P.B.J.B.S.A.K.H.S. And wishing that your wish comes true.

I will help hold your hope and other people's, keep it warm and remind you that hope will be there for you always.

my hope is for more happiness in 2007 than in 2006 in what ever form it comes in.

Awww. Thanks.

I'm holding P.B.J.B.S.A.K.H.S.

My selfish wish - that this cycle will work. Really work. Not a miscarriage/ectopic. But a pregnancy and a baby.

P.B.J.B.S.A.K.H.S. Got it.

I really like the idea of parcelling out hope. It takes too much courage to hope for yourself sometimes, but it's good to know there's hope "going on in the world", for you.

Bea

Glad to help.
I have a hope too. I hope that today's second beta numbers turn out wonderfully. It's an obvious hope, but one nonetheless. One that I'm scared to hope too much for myself.

I'm holding onto hope for your wish!

I have a wish or a hope for today-We have our first RE appointment today in almost a year. I'm just hoping we don't get horrible news about my husband's azoospermia. I'm almost hoping the doctor will tell me he is running a new round of TESE clinical trials so that we won't have to make a decision strictly on financial reasons.

Holding to all of your hopes and wished. And will continue to today.

Please wish for me that this cycle isn't my body playing a cruel joke, that all of my hope is not for not, that I finally see that reclusive second line, and have a little one to show for it in 91/2 months.

Thank you Mel...selfish or not, it couldn't of come at a perfect time for me.

I'm holding your wishes and hoping for all of you.
My wish is that this pregnancy ends with the live birth of our healthy baby. You know, just a small little thing of a wish...

It worked! My 2nd beta showed a doubling rate of 40.97 hrs (from the betabase). Thanks so much! ;)

Now a new one, that I'll see a nice little heartbeat on 2/20!

Hold onto mine, too, and I'll say a prayer for you guys.

My immediate hopes that need holding are:

-things go smoothly with the upcoming suppression/ivf (or, you know, if I could be pregnant right NOW, and it work out, that would be ok, too, but I'm not holding my breath)

-that 2007 sees us pregnant with a pregnancy that lasts

-that, barring that, or not barring that (either way), we get an adoption to go through soon!

-that the adoption and the IVF don't conflict in a disasterous we-have-an-interview-on-retrieval-day sort of way

I am wishing that all the stirrup queens and sperm palace jesters have a child of their own, by whatever means, by year end. I'm so tired of the self-doubt and disappointment that everyone (myself included) has had to suffer through. I just want us all to be happy.

What a beautiful post!!!

I am holding out hope for all of you. When I go on my walk in the mornings I will say a prayer.

As for my hope... that AF stays away before we have to begin all of our testing again. It would be just too perfect.

I'm holding onto hope for all of your wishes and for those that have been granted I am joyous.

For myself - I hope that next Friday's ultrasound shows another heartbeat with proper growth... Right now it feels as if the fall will be hard and long if we don't...

I love this idea. I'm holding the hope for all of you and your wishes. I'm wishing that the next 7 months are filled with joy and when I am cleared to ttc that my husband and I have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby.

I am holding hope for all your wishes.

My selfish wish for now, is to have a least 10 eggs at pick up. It would be better than the 6 follies we saw at scan today.

P.B.J.B.S.A.K.H.S. - I'm all over it and hope the very best for you.

I am so moved by these posts. I read them all and cried. I repeated them and truly wish everyone's wishes come true. I thought I would not leave one, but here goes: My Heart's desire: to conceive a child with my husband, to experience pregnancy, to get the opportunity to raise a child and be a family.

May everyone have their heart's desire.

Mo's girl--I'm holding your hope too.

I'm holding on to everyone's hope, keeping it safe and sound. I promise to guard it well.


We had our consult last night. We're one step closer and I need someone to hold my hope for me so the doubts and fears don't snuff out that little flame. I think I believe that I can't possibly be lucky enough for this to work, that I haven't earned it, that I'm always going to end up on the wrong side of the statistics. Someone has to, right? After 5 times of "It looked perfect on paper, but..." I'm starting to think there will always be a "but..."

My beta is in 3 days. My wish is for a nice and high beta. I'm not feeling it though... I just wish J and I could add an addition to our family and move past this continous heartbreak.
-Faith

Holding your wishes, and glad for the opportunity to do so.

My wish: That I will learn to trust, and that my anxiety level will lessen, so that I can live again, without being in fear every moment.

Thank you for holding my wish for me. Wanted to report that my husband is safely back in the States and on his way home. Every year, he has to go over to Berlin for two weeks, and every year, I worry when he gets on that aeroplane. So my wish came true that he returned safely. Thank you for helping me breathe a little easier while he was away.

Here's a new wish: I hope that everything goes well at my RE appointment this afternoon. I wish that we'll be moving on to a new protocol and my work trip tomorrow doesn't interfere with anything.

I'm wishing that tomorrow's IUI goes really well, and leads to a healthy full-term pregnancy and healthy baby.

There. I said it.

I’ve been struggling with “hope” for a long time now. At the beginning of each cycle I’m bursting with hope … but … the feeling of dread that comes at the end of every cycle is so overwhelming – it takes my breath away! It consumes every waking moment – I can’t shake it!

Today is day 24 of my 3rd clomid cycle and I’m TERRIFIED! I’m almost holding my breath for Friday to come so I can POAS!
I’m so worried that I’ll only see one line staring back at me that I took Friday off.

My wish is to get back to a “happy place” where I can breathe again. I want to be the person I was before my 3 MCs … I want to be the “me” I was before IF came and crushed all of my hopes and dreams…..

… and if its not too much to ask …. I wish for a BFP this Friday ………pretty please ….with a cherry on top!

Asheggy--I'm holding out a wish for a BFP with the back-up being a return to calm. Hang in there. I'll be thinking about you this Friday.

Please God, allow us to get pregnant, allow the medication to work, and if it doesn't, please allow us to have peace.

Anonymous--I can't write you directly since you left the post anonymously :-)

But I wanted you to know that I'm holding that hope for you and wishing you peace with both alternatives.

UPDATE: last Friday was a BFN….
But this one was different than most – I had a strange sense of calm while I waited for the lines and when only one appeared I just shrugged it off and went on with my day. I was disappointed but it didn’t consume me like it normally does. MANY THANKS to all of you that sent me the positive vibes. IT REALLY HELPED!

PS. Had my first acupuncture appt yesterday. LOVED IT! Am very hopeful that this will be the piece of the puzzle that was missing.

I'm glad it helped, ASheggy. Glad to make a negative easier, but hope the next time that it's a positive.

Adding yet another wish to the box... We had our IUI this morning. Naturally, I'm wishing for the elusive BFP. If that fails, I wish for the strength to deal with the fallout. I'm generally not very good with that.

I'm hoping against all hope that this donor (our third) will be the one that finally results in a living, breathing child for us (two would be even better, but I don't want to sound greedy.)

I read all of these hopes and hoped and prayed with all my strength that your wishes will come true. I have hope for you all.

I'm hoping against all hope that this donor (our third) will be the one that finally results in a living, breathing child for us (two would be even better, but I don't want to sound greedy.)

I read all of these hopes and hoped and prayed with all my strength that your wishes will come true. I have hope for you all.

I am wishing that our IVF cycle is successful! This is our first of 3 tries on a shared risk program. After years of inftertility, IUI's all that stuff....we finally have hope again!

I'm wishing that my hope that I gave up returns...

I wish this cycle works.

I'm holding P.B.J.B.S.A.K.H.S. safly in my thoughts.

Anonymous and Polobear:

I'm holding your hopes as well. May your hope return and may your cycles be successful.

My original WISH came true. I’m back in a HAPPY PLACE where I can breathe again! I’ll never be the “old me” again – and I’m ok with that – I’m a “BETTER me” now! As the song goes …. it truly is a wonderful world!

An update on us: after battling the “IF BEAST” (and getting our collective ass whooped) my DH and I have decided to stop all treatments and focus on ADOPTION to build our family.
It took us a long time to get here but I’m so glad we did. I feel so LIBERATED – so FREE – so ALIVE – for the first time in years!

We picked the anniversary of our last MC (4/3) as the date we sign with our agency. That horrible day will now be a day filled with hope as my DH and I are “reborn” into the world of adoption. 

With that said … I have 2 wishes (1 for me – 1 for you):
WISH 1 = that our adoption adventure will bring my DH and I closer together (and bring us a family!)
WISH 2 = that all of you will find peace now and forever with all of the choices that you make. That your dreams will be fulfilled and your pain end. My heart goes out to all of you! GOOD LUCK!

We go in on Wednesday to get our IVF calendar. This may be the our last shot at this (pardon the pun) and I'm ping-ponging between hope and despair.

My wish is that this time, on the first try, I get to hit the jackpot.

I hope that that I am the next person I know to be pregnant.. I'm tired of all the accidents; why can't it be me??

Lyoness--I couldn't write you directly, so I'm hoping that you return here to read this message. I'm hoping you're next too. It's so hard--this journey is just so hard. I hope you get happy news soon.

What a great idea! I’ll hold on to all your hopes. I feel so lonely among my super fertile friends and don’t want to share with them my fear and hopes. I am relatively new here and just want to introduce me. I’ve been TTC for over 2 years, got pregnant once but it ended up in a m/c. SO far I have no diagnosis. We have no IF coverage and with both of us paying college it seems that there is never enough money for us to move to the next level: RE, IUI.. I am ready to fight! It is clear the trying the old fashion way will not work for us ( I hope I am wrong) . My wish is that this summer when I start a new job that I can get a good ins that offers some kind of IF coverage. I just want to have a chance to try!!!!!!!!!!

Just one more wish not related to pregnancy: I will be defending my doctoral thesis in one week from tomorrow. I am so so nervous! I just want to you all to breath for me. I’ll be holding my breath until April 9th when my committee looks at me and says : congratulations Dr.!!!

This is such a great idea. I hope everyone's wishes and hopes come to fruition.

I wish for direction in this journey as I've been waiting a while to adopt and my homestudy will expire soon. I pray for guidance and for God to lead me in the right direction, whether it be to keep trying for a baby or to give up entirely and accept a child free life.

My last wish in here worked almost splendidly, except for the adoption/cycle conflict part. But it wasn't interview on retrieval day, it was match and pg in the same week.

But I'm putting in my wish that 2007 sees this baby stick and that Russ and Rachel still want us to parent their daughter. Because there's nothing I'd love more.

The wish box is on a roll for me (What? You think it was all the frantic praying and a little luck? Ok, MAYBE.) so I'm adding again.

I hope that when Ava is born, Russ and Rach are sure in their decision to keep us as parents. I hope that they have peace more often than grief.

And I hope that on May 2, my u/s shows a beating heart and that Ava will have a little brother or sister sooner rather than later.

My wish is for our ivf cycle to work this week. My hope is that my friend will also win this battle. She will be an excellent mother.

Anonymous--I'm hoping your IVF cycle yields a positive this week. And I'm holding hope for your friend too. Come back and let us know the outcome.

We recently had a missed miscarriage at eight weeks after seeing a heartbeat at seven weeks. Followed that up with a D&E and its so hard to hope now. I'm trying to be hopeful and positive for my hubby - but in my heart of hearts, there is so little hope left. I just want our next cycle to go well, that we get pregnant and give birth to a healthy baby. Just hard to hope right now.

Hey, buckeye girl. It is hard to hope. But know that you have many other people in the blogosphere hoping alongside you. May your next cycle go well and may you find hope again.

I'm keeping all of your wishes close to my heart and adding one dearly hoped-for one of my own: Please, oh please, let this one stay.

My wish is pretty basic. It's the exact same thing everyone wishes at two days past retrieval....Please oh please let everything be going well in that incubator. I'm one of those who always has to open the oven door to see how the cookies are doing. It's killing me not knowing. Monday's transfer seems so far away. Then, of course, Monday brings another wish, another hope to hold.

I thought I could make it, holding my own hope. After getting such good results at ER, then having transfer go so smoothly, THEN having 8 lovelies to freeze, surely I could hold my own hope for the beta.

I was wrong. I need help to make it to Wednesday. I'm in that barganing stage now..."If I can get a positive beta, I promise I'll..." Please, someone, hold my hope for me until May 9.

Wishing and hoping that 95-96% chance of things turning out well are good enough for us and our baby.

I've posted when I wished for the embryos to DO something. When I wished for the betas to double, to keep doubling. I posted when I wished for the u/s to show a beating heart. So I'm posting the hope that on the 16th, baby is still kicking and developing right on track, just like on Wednesday.

It just all seems too much to ask.

So in light of it being too much, I also want to wish that Ava is born soon and that everything there goes smoothly, too.

So much going on. So many hopes. It makes my head (and heart) ache!

My first wish . . . I wish to get pregnant again, naturally, before having to resort to IVF. And I wish to stay that way for 40 weeks and deliver a healthy baby. I know, everybody has the same wish. And I wish it for everybody.

Lurked for a very long time, never posted, I don´t even know if anyone still reads these wishes, but I just wanted to write this down and offer it up…. Cos i can´t bear to even think about the outcome. After 5 years, finally going to do our first IVF, that is if the clinic calls this afternoon with a positive outcome from my husbands karyotype blood test (possible genetic problem) so, in a few hours I´ll either be told that we will start a cycle next week! or that there is absolutely no hope. All i feel is numb.
Also, I would like to make a wish for my husbands sister who is currently in the 2ww after ivf 2. I love her, but I can´t even hope or wish for her at the moment
jamie

Jamie--I read the wishes as do many other people. And hopefully, when you have the energy and your wish comes true, you'll come back here and scan the list and wish for everyone too. I'm wishing your wish with you to give it extra hope. I hope the phone call comes this afternoon with good news. And I can take care of that wish for your SIL too. Sending so many good thoughts to you. Please let us know how it turns out, and if you need anyone to talk to, my email is on this blog--thetowncriers@gmail.com

i'm wishing that hope isn't lost and that this isn't over.

Dear Town Criers..
I cannot begin to say how grateful I am to you for your work here. You give so much time, effort and so much of yourselves, and all done from so much love. Just to keep you updated; I did finally get "the call" and I was told that my husband has a chromosomal defect which means that there is absolutely no chance of conceiving "naturally" and that if we proceed with IVF, we will have to do genetic testing on the embryos, and that’s even if we can actually proceed…. The details aren't clear at the moment, our next appointment is in 2 weeks to discuss our options. However, I feel…. Relieved, like a great strain has been lifted, for now I can just drift and see what path is given to me to follow. I am fully aware that there will be days of tears and torment ahead, days of longing for what may never be, but at least the agony of the unknown, the strain of "go,go,go" has gone.
My S.i.l has just received a negative beta, she is grieving but still hopeful, but now at least I can grieve with her, which is immensely valuable to me, worth the price of the curtailment of my own expectations.
Sorry for such a long post, and thank you once again. Also, is there any way that dates could be added to wishes posted here? I am now going to come here regularly and hope for any who post here and it would be really nice to have some kind of timeframe….
jamie

P.S, I am hoping for you Megan, I'm wishing that hope isn't lost and that joy is found.

A wish box is a wonderful concept!

After 7 years of tx (including 3 surgeries) I finally have a pregnancy that has lasted longer than 8 weeks. And it's twins! Now I find that I have complete placenta previa at 21 weeks and may be on hospitalized bed rest soon. I am wishing and hoping that our babies will stay growing inside me until September when they will be 35 weeks or greater.

Lisa--

I'm adding my wishes to yours. Stay in there and grow babies. Our twins were also early, so if you ever want to talk/vent/have questions, feel free to email me: thetowncriers@gmail.com.

But I'm sending lots and lots of hope your way.

Since so many wishes were granted including my first one... I'm back again. Today June 15th is a hard day for me... the last 2 years pretty much sucked on this day. 2 years ago I had my first d/c and was diagnosed with an ectopic... Last year we learned that our rest cycle pregnancy was no longer... and of course my birthday is the 16th. This year - I'm pregnant and 24 weeks 5 days and all I want is to make it to tomorrow - and not have to pick up the pieces.

To everyone else - you are in my thoughts and I am holding onto hope and wishing for you that your wish comes true...

Hallo one and all! I just found you here and think this Wish Box is a fantastic idea! Someone already said a truth we all know - it does take alot, sometimes far too much courage to hold you own wish. So I willing hold P.B.J.B.S.A.K.H.S. and all the others wishes close and secure and ask someone out there to help me hold mine - the line that leads the way to a healthy pregnancy and our first baby! Thank you all !! Baby Dust over everyone!

Amen to that: Baby Dust over everyone wishing and praying to conceive. I got my period today after a few hopeful weeks of giggling with each other and trying. Our lives are blessed in so many ways. God please give us this blessing.

Holding hope for you too, Mrs. and Anonymous.

I think this wish box is beautiful... Sometimes, in this journey, it hurts too much to hope any longer, so you need others to carry it for you.

So I will carry the other wishes and send positive energy and prayers to them and I hope that you will carry mine...

I would like to find peace in my life. I would like to know that even if I am never blessed with a baby of my own, happiness can still my mine to have and that I will not feel like less of a person or woman.

My wish is that my daughter, who has endured so much in her struggle to have a child, will have a strongly positive beta today. Thank you for allowing me to add this wish. My prayers are with all of you brave women. I wish for all of you that you will have the strength to persevere on this difficult but worthwhile journey.

Alabama Mom--I hope your daughter knows what an incredible mother she has. I hope her wish came true today and if it did, I'm sending more hope that all continues to go well for the next nine months.

I would like my wish to be that my dh would understand and care alittle more about my feelings when it comes to IF and ttc...I'm tired of feeling alone on the journey when it concerns dh and my family.

Greetings Everyone!
I havent posted a WISH in awhile ... but .. Ive got a biggie today...
Our adoption process, which has consisted of paperwork so far, is switching speed next week.
We are meeting our social worker for the first time!!! (on my birthday!)

This person will hold our future in her hands - literally!!
PLEASE LET HER LOVE US AND APPROVE OUR HOME STUDY ASAP!!!!

PS - dreamer4agift - Consider this a virtual HUG. Hang in there!

I'm holding the hope for all of you and your wishes.

The hope that I have is that the end of the year will find me with a healthy baby in my belly or the courage to accept the fact that it will not happen.

I just wish it weren't so heart-wrenching. I wish that, in the back of my head, I wasn't afraid that it was going to end up tearing us apart.

I stumbled across the wish box - I thought by accident - but if it's still open, I'd like to add a wish for Kristen that she'll get positive news of life within her soon or at least have definative end of pg news so that she's not living in limbo. I pray for life.

I am holding onto your hope for all of you.

I too would like to add a wish that my DH and I conceive and have a live, healthy baby and end this nearly 6yr heart ache and IVF roller coaster.

I dropped off a wish awhile back about dh being more understanding, etc...well, things have gotten better (at least right now) and while we aren't perfect, I am handling his actions (or lack of) a lot better and I understand somewhat.

On that note, I want to add another wish if I may...I wish for this to be our cycle...I'm scared to even say that for fear of continued failure. I've gotten so used to the bfn, I don't even try to imagine anything else. But my dr. is giving us 3 more mths to get a bfp, and then it's off to something else (and that something else would be to quit, b/c we can't afford any other treatments). So, now that I've rambled...that's what I wish...for a bfp this cycle or within the next few mths.

Reposted for Vanilla:

I will wish for you:

P.B.J.B.S.A.K.H.S.

And, what I wish/hope for myself:

That I get an actual, strong, solid beta number today. Please, not another blighted ovum/chemical pg, beta hell type of thing.

But, a good, solid beta number, that doubles well over the next couple of days, and leads us, finally, finally, to getting a real, live, healthy baby out of pregnancy this time. Please?

Thank you!!

Nilla
xx
hope 'til the cry is heard

1:30 AM

This is such a beautiful thing, holding the hopes and wishes of others. Thank you. I will hold as many wishes and hopes as my heart can hold. I have tears in my eyes reading everyone's wishes.

I have a hope too. I hope that I will find peace if a baby is not in my future. It seems that my life is heading that way. I also wish that my husband's sperm counts would normalize. We got bad news today, sperm are still really scarce, malformed and bad swimmers. I want this so bad, I need help with my wish.

Thank you everyone. I hope all your hopes and wishes come true too.

I love love love this wish box idea, and I've got to tell you - I REALLY needed something like this.

I desperately wish to conceive and give birth to a real-live baby...to go through the whole process and actually get to the stage where I can have a big ole belly and go into labor and everything!

I've stopped being able to hope, so I hope someone can hope for me...

I am afraid to be excited and hopeful so I need everyone to help me. After almost 3 years and 2 miscarriages this year I am almsot 8 weeks pregnant. This is when things tend to go wrong...I need all the help I can get.

Kristie--I'm holding hope for you. I hope this is it, that nothing goes wrong, and in another 7 months or so, you're holding your child.

Wishing again.

For a smooth finalization process, preferrably before the end of the year, though I don't think THAT will happen.

And for a successful last 12 1/2 weeks of pregnancy and a healthy baby at the end.

My first wish after icsi came true. Now I wish that after 35 weeks baby finn hangs in there a little longer. I wish that the complications will turn out allright. I wish that I will hold him soon and hear his cry. None of the pain and suffering could stop me from creating him. I would go through this all again. Finally, I wish he knew how much I love him already.

Anonymous--I'm wishing alongside you that Baby Finn is soon safe and sound in your arms. Healthy and full-term.

What a beautiful idea!

I wish for all of you your heart's desire.

I wish for my DH and I that our first IVF cycle goes smoothly, with good eggs, good fertilization, good number of embryos, good betas, a healthy pregnancy, safe delivery and a healthy baby.

None of these comments have a date, so the original post being over a year old, I have no idea who's still needing their hope held onto. I did try to click through their links to try to figure it out. Many people did have their wishes come true, as I found many blogs with baby pictures gracing the pages. Others are simply gone. And there are some I found that their hope ~does~ need to be held onto. And I left my heart open and am continuing on - keeping that grasp on the bits of light.

Mel, I don't know if P.B.J.B.S.A.K.H.S. still needs the extra holding. I am assuming it does as you said you would return and write down the outcome if it did come true. In the assumption you are still hoping for it, I've said the letters aloud and holding onto it for you.

For me, I am doing some extra wishing here today. I wished on the magic stone, but I may need some extra help with this one. Although my underlying wish is to become pregnant with my upcoming IVF cycle, I also have another wish I need if it goes the other way. If the cycle ends in failure, I wish that my heart can hold up to the explosion. I wish my heart doesn't break into a million pieces. I wish that my heart will be able to withstand the disappointment.

Nancy~
I will happily hold your wish and wish it with you! I hope this cycle works with flying colors so that we don't even have to deal with the other broken heart wish. Hugs to you!

My wish is very usual. I wish that I get a BFP this cycle that sticks and brings me and my family a healthy baby in November (right near my 35th birthday).

Thanks in advance to anyone willing to hold my shining bright wish!

S,

I will definately hold your wish for you as you progress through the hopes of this pregnancy.

I hope this is a very sticky, sticky baby and that next week's appointment shows those betas soaring.

My wish is that my own medical issues (not related to ttc) will be resolved once and for all - and quickly. [note: it's nothing that will cause my life to be in jeopardy, just annoying and it's time be rid of annoyances that are correctable.]

My wish is for a pregnancy. If we are pregnant this cycle, the due date would be my husbands birthday. It would make us both so happy.

My wish is for a second child to join our family very soon.

I have sat up way too late reading every one of your wishes, but I am so grateful that I did. I have as many of your wishes as I can remember at one time in my hands as I go to bed tonight.
My wish? To see something, anything else other than just stark white in the test area - to see that second line - just to see it - for once.

Anonymous, I'm holding your hope too. I hope you see that second line. And soon.

My wish is that someday Finn will become a big brother. If not this cycle, then the next. I wish that I will find peace with this cycle-regardless of the outcome. I know that this baby was wanted and loved and will be forever. I'm still holding onto hope that despite the odds, this baby will make it. I thank God everyday for baby FInn. He is the light of my life.

My wish is that this 11w pregnancy result in an actual pink, squalling, healthy baby.

And a small rider wish: please wish for me to have the courage to be happy. I am so scared to hope, after last time.

Wishing for a good beta result this afternoon.

-Sarah