The Daily News

LFCA Latest Issue: Friday, September 25, 2009.

Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

My Status: Fed Josh's almonds to the squirrels. They needed them very badly.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Friday Blog Roundup

All the girl drink drunks in the house say "yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

I have to say that pouring drinks for the last 48 hours has been as emotional and cathartic as the creme de la creme list. Just sitting down with a bunch of awesome women and hearing what was happening in everyone's life. It was much better than a night out on the town because I didn't even have to leave my own living room. The best part was when I'd go to someone's blog and someone else would have been there before me saything that they read about how they were going through X and they were going through X too. And that's the whole point of having a place where everyone knows your name. Because everyone is comfortable reaching out to anyone else who comes through the door and you meet new people who you didn't even know were going through the same shitty experience as you or thinking the same shitty thoughts as you. And suddenly, you're not so alone. So I'm calling a monthly drinkfest. My bar is always open, of course, but once a month, I'm running specials for 48-hours where everyone can come to my virtual bar and drink and bitch and comfort and cry and laugh. So there. That's my new New Years Resolution--more imaginary alcohol and girl time (boys are welcome too, but you guys never show. Come on, Smarshy. Pull up a barstool and have a good vent). Another drinkfest to follow soon in February--remember to drink responsibly and such.

And on that note, if there is anyone out there who has done GIFT or knows someone who has done GIFT who is open to passing along any info, could you write me at There's a stirrup queen who can't do IVF and needs to do GIFT. She isn't finding doctors open to performing the procedure since IVF has sort of steamrolled over GIFT with better results (but sometimes better results need to be discarded in favour of less invasiveness or a personal preference). So if you have any info on GIFT, please let me know and I'll put you in touch with her.

And on that note again, as many of you know, Manuela went (sniff) password (waaaah) protected this week (gasp, sniff, gasp--wipes nose on sleeve. I know it's gross, but what can you do). She got out the password to people that she knew read the blog. But let this be a lesson to lurkers--comment at least once in a while so people know that you're reading :-) If you are trying to get in touch with Manuela, she has set up an email account for people seeking the password:

Lastly, before I even get to all the goodness I read off of the blogs this week, I wanted to send out a welcome to two newly-minted blogs I just found. Cathleen's is so new that it still has the protective cover on it--it still has that new blog smell. Which is the best because you can literally follow her recorded journey from point one. You can read along at the Iron Circle. The other is Ava's at Trying Is the Fun Part. She just started posting at the end of December so if you run over there right now, you can catch her recorded journey mostly at the beginning. Go over and give these ladies a warm welcome to the Blogosphere.

And now, the blogs.

The Oneliner put together a list of blog entries that changed her life--in other words, they changed how she felt one day or made her see the world in an entirely new way. And I think this could be a brilliant new meme. That Oneliner is one smart chickie. Go read the Oneliner's list and then start your own!

Artblog has a great post this week about quitting or setting personal limits with trying. She has been working on having another child for five years and those five years have been a mix of frustration and loss. She writes about her limits: "Because, I’ve come to the decision that I DON’T want to spend my most precious years, worrying, miscarrying, aborting or burying more of my babies! I CAN’T do that to myself. I CAN’T do that to my marriage. I WON’T do that to LaLa. That would be really stupid of me to risk what I have for what I can’t have!...Once upon a time, I thought I’d do everything and anything to make my desire to have children come true. But to what extent? I now realise, in my case, that these extents may be the end of my marriage and/or a physiologically troubled daughter as a result! That I DO NOT want. It would be stupid of me to risk all this for another baby! Of course children are wonderful, a god send, but who am I hurting to get this?" You need to read the entire entry--but for anyone who has been struggling with setting a limit or considering how far you would go or when is the right time to change paths...this entry is important and will possibly be the one you add to your Oneliner meme on entries that changed the way you think.

Nicole at Wishing and Waiting has an excellent post this week on purchasing items when you're living in limbo. I don't remember which advice columnist covered this topic a few years back, but someone wrote in with the question about buying a bed when she was waiting for her boyfriend of many years to propose. She needed a new bed and she had put off making the purchase because she wanted to buy the new bed with this man if he became her fiance. Of course, he wasn't proposing and she needed the new bed. The advice columnist (Carolyn Hax? Ann Landers?) told her to buy the bed based on what she knew right now. She wasn't engaged so she should purchase a bed she would want to sleep in as a single woman. And if life changed and she became engaged, she would be happy to move that bed to a guest room and purchase a new one with her fiance. It sounds like good advice--we all should make decisions based on what we have in front of us, but I also wonder about it because it assumes that one has the (1) ability to purchase multiple beds and (2) won't perform self-smackage on oneself every time they look at the object later on and remember where they were emotionally during the purchase. Head over there and weigh in on the debate because Nicole is looking to buy a car. And we've all put off a huge purchase at some point in our journey--whether it was a house or a car or anything else where one of the guiding criterions would have been a child.

New motherhood is hard. Breastfeeding while experiencing new motherhood is harder. Breastfeeding difficulties or not having realistic information during new motherhood which comes on the heals of infertility--an emotional nightmare. After your self-worth has taken a beating during infertility, the last thing you need is to feel like you're banging your head against the wall with yet another thing connected to your body. Stacie at the Twinkies and some good ladies at FertilityFriend put together the ultimate things-I-wish-had-known list about breastfeeding. Even if you're not yet in the position to breastfeed, please read and bookmark the list if you're planning to go this route.

And that, my friends, is a small smattering of the brilliant things I read this week. Off to go drink some more at my virtual bar. An imaginary vanilla Stoli to be followed by an actual Shirley Temple later at dinner. I'm such a big drinker...


Anonymous said...

Will you make me a Mai Tai?

They remind me of Hawaii and OH how I'd loooove to be in Hawaii right now.


Love the idea of a virtual bar and drinkfest! Yay!!

Anonymous said...

You're making me blush.

I was going to breastfeed IF IT KILLED ME. I couldn't get pregnant, I couldn't birth "naturally", but damnit, my body was going to do SOMETHING right. Then I pumped for 2 1/2 months because one child wouldn't latch.

And I LOVE the virtual bar idea. Right now I want a hot chocolate.

TeamWinks said...

I always look forward to Friday Blog Roundup. I have such a headache today, and am tired. Can I order a decafe green tea? By the way, love the squishy comfy chairs you have in here. Perfect for relaxing in. Cheers!

Cibele said...

Thanks for my whine and for the company. I will come back for sure next month. If you can, learn how to make a Brazilian drink called "caipirinha" it would be nice LOL. Here is how to make it

PS: I love reading your Friday blog roundup!

Take care

Anonymous said...

The Caipirinha is my fave too! Thanks for plug today Mel!

Anonymous said...

Loving your roundup!