I just read this and sent it on to a friend and wasn't going to blog it and got halfway up the stairs and said to myself, "if you don't write it out, you won't get anything accomplished today because it will bother you for the next six hours."
Read it and come back.
My largest problem is her strident stance without knowing the history or division within the larger community of those living child-free. That there truly is meaning behind the word choice within infertility. That the term "childless" is used prior to resolving infertility and "child-free after infertility" is often used after the person has stepped onto that path out of infertility. That "childless not by choice" is equally used and accepted. That not everyone who is without children wants to be without children. And that this woman's post would be especially hurtful to every woman living child-free after infertility because seriously, does she need to figuratively hold up her infant and rub it in the face of every woman who is unable to have children whether it is due to infertility or life circumstances?
Her commenter apparently stated that she preferred the term child-free over childless, and this suddenly becomes an attack on a person's decision to have children? If I don't buy a house and state that I'm an apartment-dweller, does it make me anti-house, hateful of everyone who has to mow their lawn? If I don't eat meat and say that I'm a vegetarian, does it mean that I hold those who eat hamburgers in complete disgust, wondering how they could make such a hateful choice?
I'm a vegetarian. I cooked steak for Josh last night. I made the twins chicken. Seems like you can make your own life decisions and not negate another person's if you wish.
My head exploded off my shoulders because she takes a step from someone asking for respect in regards to their own life decisions to attacking those who apparently listen (hence, read) her in the first place. She could have opened the door to a conversation about terminology, about why those who are child-free by choice prefer the term child-free over childless and why others utilize different terminology. She could have explored the many reasons why people do not build their families.
To answer her question, as a mother, I would tell the child-free that I'm grateful that they write their blogs so I can walk in their shoes and try to understand their world because it is a person's unique life that makes the world a beautiful and interesting space and I am just thankful that everyone else has not conformed their life to match my own. And that my heart goes out to those who are unable to build their families and I will always support you and take your lead in how you are resolving your infertility and continuing to live life.