The Daily News

LFCA Latest Issue: Friday, September 25, 2009.

Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

My Status: Fed Josh's almonds to the squirrels. They needed them very badly.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Friday Blog Roundup

Yesterday, I went to buy make-up at the M.A.C. counter and couldn't have felt like a bigger asshole. The reality is that I've never purchased make-up without my sister. She is the sort who knows things. For instance, we are going on holiday this summer and she planned the whole thing for us because she's smart and organized. She knows what clothes are worth trying on at the store and what make-up goes with my skin tone and how to get out stains.

The problem is that I won't see her for several more weeks and I need the make-up now. It's sort of the same thing with when I changed the blog header last fall. In terms of how the blog looked, I didn't care, I didn't care, I didn't care, and then suddenly, I cared--I cared enough to start working on it at 11 p.m. and bother Cali. And that's sort of where I am with make-up. I didn't care that almost all of my lipsticks were nine years old (and probably closer to twenty) and therefore unusable. And then, one day, I decided I did care and I had no idea how to fix the problem.

My sister coached me over the phone, I gathered recommendations via Twitter, and I went to the make-up counter to ask for additional advice. What I did was stand next to the lipstick display, not moving, until someone behind the counter asked me if I needed help. "Yes!" I exclaimed with relief. I asked her to choose the lipstick for me, something that would look good with olive skin and dark hair; a woman who wears a lot of black or brighter colours. No pink.

She picked out a colour called Verve and after applying it for me (apparently, when you stand next to the lipstick display and beg someone else to choose your make-up, they also sense without asking that you are probably not capable of applying it yourself), asked if I liked it. But here's the thing: all I can see is the make-up. I look like Melissa, with make-up. On other people, I don't notice the lipstick or foundation. I mean, I can see it if I look closely, but I see it all as just part of their look. With me, I feel like I can't stop seeing the make-up, therefore, I have no clue whether I like it or not.

She also did my eyes with a little eyeliner called "coffee." I wore it around the rest of the day and now I need to go back today and buy it. I would take a picture except that my eyebrow appointment isn't until tomorrow one needs to see that lack of grooming up close. In my defense, I had an eyebrow appointment for last weekend and it got moved to this weekend so...not my fault.

My book is the next selection for the Barren Bitches Book Brigade. Just saying in case you missed that announcement this week and felt inspired to sign-up and participate. Just saying...

Speaking of books, I finished the manuscript on Wednesday that I've been working on since December. It's a chicklit book. I love reading chicklit, and I've always wanted to have a chicklit idea. And the whole story came out one night and Josh said, "damn, I'd read that" (not that he reads girlie books. He's a man--a man!). So I sat down and typed up all 260+ pages in the last few months. It felt so good to write it, like seeing the Dyson canister after a good carpet cleaning. It was just satisfying.

And it made me happy. Not that writing about my wonky uterus doesn't make me happy, but there is a big difference between spending your day finding the right words to describe a throbing vagina* pre-sex scene vs. a throbing vagina post-cathetering. Cervical clamps simply aren't fun. Chicklit is.

Hopefully you've gotten a chance to play with the new blogroll format. You can still access the whole blogroll on the screen at once by using the label link on the left sidebar. In fact, everyone should for a moment because the program I used until we hit about 1700 blogs (I think I stopped using it in the winter) routinely dropped a blog if it couldn't find a feed. Which is why I stopped using the program. So, this won't happen again (as far as I know), but you should check right now and make sure you're still on the blogroll.

How do you to that? Click the label link and then use the "find" function (sometimes under "edit") on your browser to search the page. If you are not on the blogroll, send me your blog url and the best catagory for your blog or the old category for your blog (oh, and anyone new reading this can send your blog too). I apologize to anyone who was inadvertantly dropped, but I have no way of knowing if someone went missing until I went to look for them on the blogroll and they weren't there or they told me.

I'm glad everyone (at least that I've heard from) has liked the new set-up because it is so much easier to add people. It saved a ton of time on my end to not have to scroll through 1800+ blogs in order to find the right place to put a new one.

And now, the blogs...

The Maybe Baby has a post about her feeling of resignation in regards to pregnancy and her future. She wonders if the moments she had with the twins will be her last pregnancy. She writes: "Sick of the hypocrisy of organic foods and green living while meanwhile super-sizing my hormone levels and forcing my body to deal with all kinds of artificial junk. Inserted. Ingested. Forced. I am sick of being angry and hurt and hating everybody." Is it painful to read such raw, unflinching honesty? Yes, but important. It's damn important to read it.

The Road Less Travelled has a post about stepping down as the facilitator for her face-to-face support group. It is such a moving post when you consider how long she has been heading the group and sitting in this circle of support. Her final lines makes my throat catch: "It's a little scary to think of not attending group for the first time in 11 (!!) years. But it will continue to be part of our life. Just in a different way. Just like Katie herself." Please go read the whole thing.

Bang Head Here has a post about telling her mother that they're using donor eggs. She writes, "Mom asked questions but mostly looked as though I was explaining that J and I plan to get married in matching Elvis costumes on Mars." You will laugh, you will cringe, you will want to give all of them a hug.

Life in the Soupbowl has a post that hit close to home for me in so many ways. It has been over a week since her daughter's birth, but she posted her final bellyshot. The fact is, most people don't know when the last picture they have of themselves pregnant will be the last picture they have of themselves pregnant, but I think it is a very jarring experience when you go prematurely to find that final image on the camera. When you just didn't know that it was coming. It is a beautiful post about prematurity (though be forewarned that it does contain said image). I'm not sure why, but this post made me also think about Emilie. A spammer left a message on an old blog post this week and when I went to erase it, it was next to an old comment of Emilie's. I always associate the two of them (Carrie and Emilie) together in my mind. I'm not sure if I'm picking up on Carrie's hormones, but the references to Kyla's premature birth as well as seeing that old comment from Emilie made me weepy.

Lastly, Forever Reaching has a post about her upcoming IVF cycle. Her therapist wants her to admit to having hope, but she explains why she needs to hold hope at bay. "I need to embrace the nightmares to keep the dreams at bay because I refuse to allow myself any good feelings because I rather live in the bad feeling than go through the crash like I have 17 different times. Live in the fire and ashes or live with Hope to have it burn with a pain I can’t even describe. What would YOU do?" It is an extremely powerful post that ends with a line that will kick. your. ass. In a very good way.

The roundup to the Roundup: Please tell me that the make-up enhances and that I don't look like a clown. Sign up for the next Barren Bitches because it is my book, pretty please? I have just spent from December until the end of May writing saucy sex scenes. Go check where you are on the blogroll and if you're not there, let me know. And lots of great posts to read. See you back here on Saturday night for Show & Tell.

*Note to anyone who found this blog because they googled "throbing vagina." I am just so sorry. This must be a giant buzz kill for the orgasm you've been working on with your googling. I now return you to your one-handed typing and I hope you can get the image of a cervical clamp out of your mind.


battynurse said...

I bet the makeup looks fantastic. Have fun with it.

niobe said...

Maybe your sister can coach me on makeup too. 'Cause that's one of the things I've never been able to manage.

Lorza said...

Throbbing Vagina. LOL! That is crazy.

I hear ya on the bff always used to pick out my clothes. The first two years I lived away from her I didn't buy any new clothes. Sad huh? I am the same way with lip stick also- very obvious to me..but rest assured, I am sure it looks good.

I am excited about your up coming chitlit. You are an awesome writing- and who DOESN'T like a good chicklit!!!

loribeth said...

Thank you for the shoutout, you made my day. : ) Funny, I've been thinking about Emilie lately too. I wonder how her family is doing.

LOL on the makeup, Mel. I'm a bit of a makeup junkie -- but there have been times I've come with a new product & looked myself in the mirror & thought, "What was she/I thinking??" I think if you stick to something relatively neutral & not too bold, you should be safe. And neutrals are MAC's specialty, so you should be safe.

I haven't played with the new blogroll yet, but I'll go check to make sure I'm there. ; ) And I'm looking forward to reading your NEXT book (before I've even finished the first one!). Just from your blog, I think you'd make a great chicklit author.

Anjali said...

Mel, you are such an inspiring, prolific writer. Congrats on finishing another manuscript. You inspire me to keep plugging along!

Bluebird said...

I'm so excited about your chicklit! I had no idea :) I imagine it was a fun change of pace for you - congrats on finishing it up.

Lavender Luz said...

I hope you have sentences like that last one in your chicklit book.

Can't. Stop. Laughing.

Eve said...

Oh your sis is so much like mine! My big sis has always been my fashion/make-up/hair/home-decor consultant. It used to bother me that she was bossy until I realized that I needed bossiness in my life more than I ever realized. I'm quite inept without her...which leaves me hopeless since she currently lives in England.

Congrats on finishing your manuscript!!!!!

Lou said...

Finding makeup is one of the hardest things EVER! I completely agree with you. I've spent countless hours trying to figure out what color looks best on my eye lids. Way to much energy if you ask me! I hope you love the makeup you choose!!!

The Blog Roundup today is awesome! Love it. Have a great weekend!

JuliaS said...

You lost me at cervical clamp . . .

Wanna go crawl into bed and whimper now!

Anything that made me look like I even had eyebrows, now that I would gladly pay for a trillion times over.

Your book for the BBBT, hmmm, may have to rethink the whole "I'm too busy to read anything right now!" and dust off my reading specs . ..


Clare said...

Ha ha ha! Bravo on finishing your second book! Must have been a nice change to write something lighter. Make-up is always a hard one - just go with what feels comfortable, you obviously liked the eyeliner, if your not sure about the lippy dont wear it. I find it hard to wear lippy but I always do my eyes. Thanks for the roundup and the comment you left on my blog!

Kim said...

I am sure that the you in make-up look as beautiful as the you without make-up.

Congratulations on finishing the manusc...I am sorry, I am trying to make this comment go anywhere but to "throbbing vagina" but I can't stop giggling about the thought of someone actually googling "throbbing vagina".

JamieD said...

I have always been a little afraid of make-up. I'll never forget the first time a friend took me to the M.A.C. counter for a make over - I felt like Liza Minelli when I left! But they have such cool stuff, I'm drawn to them now. Even if I never buy the blue sparkle eye liner.

LOVE the new blogroll! Could you add me to Pregnancy loss room with a (Pregnant) subtitle? Thanks!

Jen said...

I just don't wear make-up. It's easier and then I don't have to remember not to rub my eyes. I have recently managed to procure myself a clothing advisor via webcam however.

Alexicographer said...

Your asterisk made me LOL.

I'm putting off buying any new makeup until Tash's line comes out:

Sounds like Wake the fuck up Pink is out for you, but perhaps a touch of LateAfternoonDoldrums Red would do the trick?

Jaymee said...

i don't do the makeup thing either, until the situation is desperate. you are far from alone in that one. what is worse is that i cannot buy clothes for myself either.

calliope said...

oh! The today show JUST had this awesome make up special (for cheap!) yesterday and it was really good. Basically it was a list of things that look good on everyone. For lipstick they raved about wet & wild #666- it is a lipliner and you just add chapstick over it. I bet you look beautiful!

Sunny said...

LOL @ throbbing vagina!! Being both an IFer and a devourer (is that a word?) of chicklit/romance novels, I am well versed on this topic. I look forward to your perspective on both sides of the coin. ;)

nycphoenix said...

wow thanks for the shout out on my blog. I needed that after the crappiness of my second opinion consult at another IVF clinic.

I love MAC. they're the reason my credit card needs to be encased in ice. :) I'm sure you look beautiful in verve i think i know that color.

Soupy said...

thanks for the shout out, Mel. you had ME in tears reading your summary of it, damn you. I miss Emilie so much, there are many times (STILL0 that I wonder "what would Em think of this" as she was a great person to analyze stuff with.
And you probably look hot as all hell (mama, whoot!) with the make up - it'll just take some getting used to :)

Cassandra said...

Congrats on finishing the manuscript!

I am not a fan of chicklit, but I will gladly read your book. And then see the movie!

Jendeis said...

If you're looking for something more natural (that is, you'll look like Mel only it'll be Mel Enhanced), I'd say go for either Bobbi Brown or Giorgio Armani makeup. The Armani stuff is absolute perfection.

I haven't had much luck with MAC, but it may have been the people at the MAC counter at my mall are just not terribly helpful.

Kristin said...

I can't wait to read your new book. I love chicklit!

Vee said...

I am with you on the make up, I only pull it out for weddings.
I bet you look gorgeous !

A Mom in Jacksonville, FL said...

A chicklit book---can't wait to read it!

I enjoyed reading about your adventure at the MAC counter.

Lyrehca said...

Congrats on finishing the fiction project!

Another Dreamer said...

I bet the make-up looks great :)

I don't wear lipstick. I often wear eyeliner, and eye shadow, but something about lipstick is intimidating. I always wonder if it's too bright, too pink, too contrastory, too... It's out of my league. And then I also think, "that's me with lipstick", instead of just "that's me". Can definitely relate.

Emmy said...

I am horrible with makeup, but usually think it looks fine on others. I'm sure you look fine. Did you take a picture and send it to your sister?

Your chicklit sounds like a fun read!

Love the new blogroll format!