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LFCA Latest Issue: Friday, September 25, 2009.

Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

My Status: Fed Josh's almonds to the squirrels. They needed them very badly.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Friday Blog Roundup

My news in yays and boos:

I am going to Book Expo this year...yay!

It's not in D.C....boo.

But it's in New York...yay!

Which has very high hotel rates...boo.

But I'm staying with my brother...yay!

Though I probably won't be able to convince him that he really wants to spend half an afternoon at Kate's Paperie touching stationary instead of going to work...boo.

But that leaves me time to get together with bloggers...yay!

But I'll be there on a Monday so a bunch of you will probably have to work...boo.

But maybe if I tell you in advance that I'll be there you'll take off an hour for coffee and meet me...yay!

Though...er...maybe you don't want to meet me...boo.

But it will be on my birthday...yay!

But I'll be turning 35 and weeping on-and-off about crossing that threshold and you'll have to deal with me while I'm all messy and emotional...boo.

So...er...early June, New York City, parking myself at a cafe to be named later but in Tribeca (I just want Josh to check that the cafe he told me about actually will have seating for a small group and not be carry-away). May be bringing another DC blogger with me so you'll get two for the price of one or something like that (though I don't want to commit her to this until she knows for certain). Is anyone game?

*******
The Weekly What If: Perhaps a sad one, but I was thinking about this during the week. If you could be reincarnated after death into a dog or a cat (or take your pick of any animal) and continue to live in your home or another family member or friend's home, would you do so? You would retain your memory and get to observe life continuing, but you would not be able to communicate with your loved ones that you were, indeed, you. They would love you and pet you, but never know how close you were. You would get a chance to know what happens next, but have no means to assert your opinion. You would have to switch into true observer mode (I made it a pet rather than a ghost so you could still have the tactile interaction). Would you do it?

If you said no and yet still had to come back as a pet in this form regardless, whose house would you choose to live in--anyone in the world? You'd get to observe them just to satiate your own curiosity or observe them for your own entertainment
.

*******
And now, the blogs...

Thinking Miracles had a post about taking a break. She said something that I returned to read several times: "I honestly don't feel in my heart that we will have our own child, but I don't want to give up either. Does that make any sense? I don't want to give up because I didn't know that the last cycle was going to be the last cycle. I need another shot!" This idea that it is just as much about the process as it is about the goal, about putting things to rest in the best way possible vs. arbitrary self-imposed cut-offs, or worse, externally-imposed cut-offs. I couldn't help but think about the post I Kirtsy'd this week of Zee's that discussed having that door slammed on her by a doctor that she thought would be able to help. That there needs to be a balance where people are allowed to close the door on their own terms. Back to Heidi's post, it is about finding yourself again, finding a new way to be happy. While you may cry while reading it, I promise you will end with a huge smile.

Miss E's Musings had one of the best lines in her post about parenting after infertilty: "I came to the conclusion that I'm just a bitch these days." It is a post about her patience levels and how her mood now compares to the emotions she felt during infertility. It is just an amazingly astute post; whether you have experienced this or not, you will appreciate her honesty and self-awareness.

Serenity Now had a post about planning for a second child after conceiving her first via IVF. It is never straightforward as it is for fertile couples; there is the insurance wrangling and emotional fortitude and the financial crunching (do we have enough to raise two children AND do we have enough to pay all that money on the front end simply for the chance to have another). The decision was made for this year and it was a post that spoke to that enormous gap some Iffers need to step over in order to get back on the family building path.

Lastly, the Road Less Travelled had a very moving Show and Tell post last weekend. Eleven years ago that day, she discovered she was pregnant with her daughter, Katie; the daughter she subsequently lost. Katie's nursery was to be decorated in Classic Pooh, and she purchased a Winnie the Pooh music wheel several years back with an inscription that will make you cry. Go over and remember with her.

The roundup to the Roundup: I'm going to be in New York so do you want to grab coffee? The Weekly What If. And lots of great blogs to read. Catch you back here on Saturday night for Show & Tell.

24 comments:

N said...

1. BEA! Oh, how I love the insanity. Maybe we can snag passes from J's publisher again. Doubt it, but we can try. XD

2. I sometimes wonder if my brother isn't hanging out in the form of my cat. no, really, it makes sense.

..soo.see.. said...

i'd come back as a dog. i love dogs, and i love my dogs to death. i think i'd even want to come back to my own house or immediate family's home to observe. i'm a people watcher. i like to sit back and observe how people behave and react and just are. i like the idea of coming back as a pet instead of a ghost - for the same reason you posted.

loribeth said...

I was wondering why the sudden uptick in the number of comments on my post again! ; ) Thanks, Mel! Have fun at the book expo -- if you come to Toronto to promote your book, the coffee is on me!

Lollipop Goldstein said...

I wondered if it would be more torturous to see everyone and not have them know I'm there and not interact with them, but then I realized that I would probably feel that way in the beginning and then come to a place of acceptance. So I'd be a dog or a guinea pig.

And I swear, while she's not an animal, my cousin (who died over 20 years ago) changes my clocks constantly. To one hour ahead or one hour behind. It has been happening since she died with different clocks in different houses. Isn't that cool/strange?

Io said...

I don't know. It might hurt too much to be there and see the pain. Or ew, if Al finally got over me and brought home some skanky lady? I would NOT want to be around for that.

It would be nice to be able to be tehre and comfort Al though. Or maybe I'd be my bosses dog. He's a good dog guy and he cracks me up.

calliope said...

oooh! So wish I could do a birthday/NYC meet up with you. Please give Kate's Paperie some love from me. Man, did I love walking around that place. OH! & ABC Carpet and home...sigh. I miss NY.

I had to really think about the pet thing. My first impulse was to think, "of COURSE!" But then when I read Io's comment it got me thinking...maybe I don't want to see the pain. I think I would rather have an awesome meet up in the sky and then go on with my plans of being reincarnated as a Rockette...

Guera! said...

I would definitely come back as a dog in my husband's house because he treats our dogs like pampered royalty. They are completely spoiled and he fusses and worries over them like nobody I have ever seen do with dogs. And they sleep with us so I know I would still get to sleep with my husband.

Tigger said...

I'd like to come back as a cat, simply because I'm a cat person. I also believe that cats are better than dogs at comforting people - it just suits their body and communication styles better. My husband is not a cat person, however, but...I'd like to think he'd keep one around, just because he knows I'd like it. He has a soft spot for strays too, so I'd just show up on his doorstep!

As for why I'd come back? Well, I know he's going to be very sad if I die before him. Coming back would give me a chance to try and comfort him through it, in a cats own way. Cats have an amazing ability to communicate, if you're paying attention. :)

As for Io's comment about them bringing home someone else...well, being a cat, you can always choose to go find a new home once you know they're ok. If she's a skank, and he loves you (in animal form), just take out your displeasure on her ankles... knees... arms... face... you get the idea. Most people consider animals to be a good judge of character. If you don't approve, maybe he'll decide he doesn't either!

Schmutzie said...

You are being featured on Five Star Friday!
http://www.fivestarfriday.com/2009/03/five-star-friday-edition-48.html

Schmutzie said...

You are being featured on Five Star Friday!
http://www.fivestarfriday.com/2009/03/five-star-friday-edition-48.html

Jen said...

Why don't you ever come to Florida? Wahhhh! We could have cake.

I would totally come back to live in my house. Matt and I always say that our dogs are living the good life. Of course, everyone would say things like "why does the dog get all agitated when we don't clean up the kitchen?"

Alexicographer said...

I'd want to come back as my mother's dog because (a) what a wonderful life that is and (b) I would want to be able to keep an eye on her and help her out and protect her as she ages. OTOH as a mom I guess I better come back as my son's dog for the same reasons, though I worry my DH won't be a great dog owner (we own dogs now but they are "mine"), plus ... how will I feel about his new wife?

Journeywoman said...

BEA!!!

Monday? Well sure, but I'll be there probably the weekend. (I work in publishing.)

Will try to get to see you!

Also if you want digs in NJ or to go out one day of the weekend...let me know.

nycphoenix said...

once you have a date I will probably get "sick" from work and join you.

I would come back as out Flo and watch over my Maribelle.

Indigo said...

Congrats on going to the Book Expo!

About being reincarnated, that is a very interesting question, and I would have to say that I would LOVE to come back as a cat and live in my family's house.

ICLW

Marie-Baguette said...

oh I hope I will be able to see you in June!

ms.bri said...

I probably can't take off work but if it's afternoon (3 or later) I can probably make it with some planning.

I don't think I want to come back as anything, no.

We have Angel Wings said...

I would totally come back as a cat. :)

Coming2Terms said...

Your b-day in NY? I'm celebrating mine in early June in DC!

Dora said...

Hmmm, I'm single and not close to my family. Can I be a cat in Angrycanrn's house? But she'd have to take in my current cats, too.

I will totally wander through Kate's Papery with you. You might also want to check out the awesome paper dept at Pearl Paint on Canal Street. I'm with nycphoenix, might have to take a sick day or tell my boss I have to leave early for a dr's appt.

Coffeegrl said...

Oh the Book Expo! I'm so jealous. I'd love to go just once to check it out. We used to have a great Book Festival in Seattle but it's been a few years since that happened - just become too difficult to organize I guess. I miss it terribly...

My 35th birthday is fast approaching and I've been pretty ho-hum about it. But I know I'm about to cross that imaginary line and think there might be a bit of the bittersweet to this birthday. I plan to combat it with cannoli or very good chocolate.

Nica said...

Let me know. Monday is a bit difficult, but you're worth it...

Suzanna Catherine said...

For years our family "saying" has been, "When I die, I want to come back as a (family name) dog." Our dogs all live to be 15 or 20, are treated like beloved children, go everywhere with us and generally live charmed lives.

Bea said...

Will have to meet you next time... or the time after... or...

What if: no. It would be too much to bear. Whose house would I live in? Um... Cate Blanchett's. She must have interesting visitors, the dog travels with her sometimes (cool!), and she's a generally good pet owner.

Bea