The Daily News

LFCA Latest Issue: Friday, September 25, 2009.

Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

My Status: Fed Josh's almonds to the squirrels. They needed them very badly.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Last Community Project for the Book

The writing of the book is coming to a close (sniff). More on that later when I can breathe again (the deadline is upon me). But a last favour where you can weigh in and earn your keep since I already thanked all of you in the acknowledgments page of the book.

I am compiling a resource section of books, organizations, and online sources (bulletin boards and website--I have blogs covered). I have the ones that I frequent or read, but I don't want to miss a really good one. I've created a list below of places where I am looking for books, organizations, or online source recommendations (bulletin boards and websites for information). If you have one that fits for an infertility/adoption/pregnancy loss book, please leave a comment (with links if possible). I need to finish off this list at the beginning of this week so answer now if you have one rather than coming back later.

I am pretty much drowning right now with the deadline so I will not be able to write back and let you know I included it. But know that I am eternally grateful for all of the help and the fact that this book is an enormous literary stone soup for our community.

  1. General infertility
  2. Adoption
  3. Third-party reproduction (donor gametes and surrogacy)
  4. Living child-free
  5. Pregnancy loss, stillbirth, and neonatal death
  6. GLBT adoption/third party reproduction
  7. Single parents by choice
To make it easier, you can list the number next to the resource so I quickly know which category and others can see in the comment section what is already listed.


Rachel said...

#5 Book: Empty Cradle, Broken Heart, Deborah L. Davis

Websites: Mommies Enduring Neonatal Death,
Our Hope Place,, Faith Lodge, a retreat center for familes with the loss of a child 20 weeks gestation through 19 years

Heather.PNR said...

#2 Open Adoption Support
Support site for any one interested in openness in adoption, both domestic and international

#2 Making Room in Our Hearts by Micky Duxbury
A must read for anyone adopting domestically

SmartOne said...

3. Donor Gametes/Surrogacy
Surrogate Mothers Online (SMO):

The American Surrogacy Center (TASC):

All About Surrogacy (AAS):

Surrogacy Was the Way by Zara Grisold:

A Matter of Trust: The Guide to Gestational Surrogacy by Gail Dutton

Pathways to Parenthood: The Ultimate Guide to Surrogacy by Stacy Ziegler

Assisted Reproduction: The Complete Guide to Having a Baby with the Help of a Third Party by Theresa Marie Erickson

The Kangaroo Pouch: A Story About Gestational Surrogacy for Young Children by Sarah Phillips Pellet

Lori said...

#1: Sweet Grapes

#2: See my WW sidebar "Adoption Tools" so I don't bog you down in URLs.

I know you have mixed feelings about your transition, but I am excited for you. And to get my hands on this book!

Kristin said...

This is the link that let me get lovenox based on my odd clotting issue (a shortened ptt, not one of the typical problems)...

~Jess said...

3. "Helping the Stork:The Choices and Challenges of Donor Insemination" by Carol Frost Vercollone, Heidi Moss, and Robert Moss

Queenie. . . said...

Maybe Baby: 28 writers tell the truth about skepticism, infertility, baby lust, childlessness, ambivalence, and how they made the biggest decision of their lives. Edited by Lori Leibovich

The essays deal with almost all of the topics, except for maybe child death. I don't recall one on that. It was great to read so many perspectives in one place.

Good luck with finalizing the book.

Antigone said...

No resources just this:

Thank you, Mel. For many of us, your website, was a gateway into the virtual world of the infertility and loss community.

Bea said...

Your own blog is going in, for sure. Isn't it?


Lisa said...

For online support, The Nest offers several boards that fit your topics:

1. Trouble Trying to Conceive

Success after Infertility

2 Adoption

5 Pregnancy Loss

Trying to Conceive After a Loss

Success After a Loss

Stacie said...

Here is an IVF bulletin board that had a wealth of info...

You do need to register, but it is free.

Dee.. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dee.. said...

Book: "When the cradle is empty: Coping with Infertility" by John Van Regenmorter, Sylvia Van Regenmorter.
This books give the perspective of husband and wife. It takes a wide perspective on fertility issues: emotional, biblical, different resolution, coping with society. The tone of this book makes one feel like the author truly understands our situation. I always had a good cry whenever I pick it up to read.

Jendeis said...

I'm sure you have them listed already, but Elizabeth Swire Falker's book, Infertility Survival Guide (think that's the title) and the Cindy Margolis book, Having a baby... (don't know the title, she wrote it with Resolve).

vee said...

Infertility and adoption. Good source of information, gateway to other resources and a great messageboard community. Must register (free).

Ms Heathen said...


This is a UK-based network of over 1,000 families created with the help of donated eggs, sperm or embryos; couples and individuals seeking to found a family this way; and adults conceived using a donor, which offers a range of resources and workshops to those considering using donor gametes.

Rachel said...


Leslee said...

#3 - "Mommies, Daddies, Donors, Surrogates" by Ehrensaft and "Helping the Stork" have been INVALUABLE to my husband and I, as well as our known donor and his wife.

I agree with pp... I think that your blog should be in BOLD all throughout your book.

Thanks for everything!!!

Ellen K. said...

Beyond Childlessness -- Rachel Black, Louise Scull (UK)
Never to Be a Mother -- Linda Hunt Anton
Sweet Grapes -- Jean W. Carter, Michael Carter

Anonymous said...

General infertility - great reference site for South African's and has a support forum as well.

Barb said...

Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother by Jana Wolff

FABULOUS book to know what you might REALLy be thinking about adoption.. not just the happy happy stuff

Barb said...

P.S. HURRAY on the book!!

luna said...

#5 book:
"A Silent Sorrow: Pregnancy Loss: GUidance and Support for You and Your Family," K+Ingrid Kohn, MSW, and Perry-Lynn Moffitt (2000)

#2 books:
"The Open Adoption Experience," by Lois Ruskai Melina and Sharon Kaplan Roszia (1993);
"Dear Birthmother: Thank you for our baby," Kathleen Silber and Phylis Speedlin (1982)


thanks mel!

Kathy said...

Can't wait to read your book Mel!

Here are some that have helped me along the way, I suspect you may have some of these already:

#1: General infertility

Conquering Infertility
By Alice Domar

My therapist recommended this when I was struggling with secondary infertility. I found it to be very helpful, especially when we began our IVF cycles.

Taking Charge of Your Fertility
By Toni Weschler

This more basic, buy very informative, book about fertility taught me a lot when we were TTC#1. Recognizing that there are various degrees of IF and SIF, sometimes couples having trouble conceiving haven’t learned enough about the basics related to fertility and their bodies.


5. Pregnancy loss, stillbirth, and neonatal death

Waiting for Gabriel:A Story of Cherishing a Baby’s Brief Life
by Amy Kuebelbeck

I read this while carrying Molly knowing that she wouldn’t likely survive to her birth or if she did live long thereafter. I found this book to be very helpful as this woman also knew that her son might not be born alive or survive for long after his birth.

We Were Gonna Have a Baby, But We Had an Angel Instead
by Pat Schwiebert

For those who have an older child(ren) when they have a loss, this can be a very helpful book for siblings of the baby who died. Our 4 year old son continues to want to read this book 4 ½ months after our neonatal loss of his baby sister.


Hope this helps!

Keep up the great work! You rock!

Take care,
Kathy :)

Tally said...

I hope I am not too late!

The Infertility Awareness Association of Canada. It provides support (including connecting people to support groups in their local area) for people experiencing infertility. Helpful content with a Canadian twist.

loribeth said...

There are a couple of websites related to childless/free living in the sidebar of my blog.

A couple books I haven't seen mentioned yet that pop into mind:

The Childless Revolution by Madelyn Cain

Two wonderful stillbirth memoirs: "Life Touches Life" by Lorraine Ash (who has remained childless/free) and "Shadow Child" by Beth Powning.

Karen said...

I don't know if I'm too late:

#5: Coming To Term by Jon Cohen

This is about the best book I've ever found on Recurrent Miscarriage. It's really incredible and I highly recommend it.

barrenisthenewblack said...