The Daily News

LFCA Latest Issue: Friday, September 25, 2009.

Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

My Status: Fed Josh's almonds to the squirrels. They needed them very badly.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Mini Bar

I usually like to post the Virtual Lushary at least a day or two before a scheduled-like post (like the Friday Blog Roundup which always goes up on...Fridays) so we can kibitz over our schnapps and have a nosh. And then I get all verklempt when you tell me something sad or I shep nachas when you tell me something happy. I know, I know, you need a lushary post like a lokh in kop right now. But, feh, what can I do? It goes up once a month. So, nu--no Barren Advice this week.

Plus, we're smack in the middle of commenting for the August IComLeavWe. Here is your chance to knock out on of your comments of the day.

As your friendly bartender, I'm wearing the knee-high boots, so you can probably guess what I have on under the jeans and t-shirt... Actually, y'all saw the knee-high boots (yes, Hilde's knee-high boots!) at BlogHer. I played Nintendo Wii in them. The merry widow? That hasn't been on again since that first IUI.

It has been about a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I'll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person's blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while (or if this is your first open bar as someone who found this space through IComLeavWe), sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don't have a blog--gasp!--you can always leave an email address if you're looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you're a regular at the bar, I'll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I'm glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I'm talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation back on this current post.

So have an imaginary cocktail and a knish or two and tell us what is up with your life.


calliope said...

First one at the bar means I get to drop all my spare change into the jukebox! wooo hooo!

I need something today that I can sip and sip. Something that will force me to slow down and calm down and let things unfold at their own pace. I guess I need some liquid patience. (could it be a sister brand to liquid courage??)

Looking forward to sharing the bar with whoever comes in next. I could use some company...

loribeth said...

Shove on over, Calliope -- I have some quarters for the jukebox too! ; ) Since it's still relatively early, I will have a mimosa, Mel. I am still adjusting to being back to work and plotting when I can next take a holiday. I have a couple of hours of proofreading to do later today, maybe awhile spent at the Lushary first will improve my focus, lol.

Dawn's Recipes /The Baby Blog said...

I've been lurking for a while (I think this week's show n tell was my first time commenting.) I subscribe to a ton of blogs, but this is one of the few that can hold my interest without pictures to spruce things up. (Is it terrible to admit that???)

Well, it's only 8:30 AM local time, but what the heck! This is a virtual bar after all. Pass me the petite sirah.

Cece said...

Champagne for me baby. I've finally really gotten comfortable with this whole 'I'm pregnant thing' - as I'm about to enter my third trimester. Funny how having something move around inside you all the time can force to to accept the obvious.

Jill said...

I'll take an irish coffee, please! It's still early, but LAWD do I hate Mondays. There's been some family drama going on in my neck of the woods, and we're watching my IL's very whiny puppy this week. I have an u/s for my Clomid check up tomorrow morning- but for some reason I don't think it worked this time. I hope I'm wrong!

Mrs. Higrens said...

Rum Punch?

Looking at the next IUI (Clomid 150mg) the first week of September.

I'd like some peace as I find myself falling into the "if I can't have it on my terms, I don't want it" trap. I'm still fighting accepting that I don't have much control over my body.

N said...

Appletini for me, please.

Follow-up appointment to my surgery today, and I'm excited about it, but DP is freaking out. All will be well.

I'm having a hard time dealing with all the BFPs that are coming about lately. Mostly because, though I've managed to get past the feeling that somebody else's BFP means one less chance for me, I haven't been able to get off the "it's a race" track. (har. and this is just a vent. about myself. I'm working on it.)

Mostly I wanted to stop by the bar today and thank everybody for the amazing support they showed me last month. I'll hang out a bit, and hopefully I can share some of that with others.

Elizabeth said...

I'm a woman on the verge of a new semester, now with infant in tow. Yesterday we attended a CPR class which included a sort of "101 ways your baby can die." Ugh. I feel like it's cheating to come here since we have our little V., after all, but... I love to read all the stories and my heart goes out to all stirrup queens, now and forevermore.

Oh, I guess I'll have a beer - do you have Saranac Black Forest?

Elizabeth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
emma said...

Champagne Cocktail please. So far I'm enjoying my break so I feel like celebrating.

Baby Steps to Baby Shoes said...

Can I just have the knish? Maybe times 10? Mmmm, carbs. It seems like all I do is eat lately. So much for I'm not going to let my weight get out of control just because I'm pregnant. I just sat in the baby's room last night and DH kept asking me if I was ok. He finally understood how stunned I am that it looks like we are really going to be having a baby of our very own sleeping in that room.

Tigger said...

Today is the first day of 16 weeks of hell. That's right - the fall semester starts today. I am not looking forward to it and am wishing it was December already so I could be done.

We also got a new dog yesterday and my cat is NOT handling it well. He also appears to have decided to poop all over my new carpet in the living is not a good start to my morning. Blech.

So, I need something that I can take with me and drink between classes!

mamie said...

frozen strawberry martini, please. and keep 'em coming.

i'm just trying to find some joy. i feel so bogged down by trying to be happy that i'm missing out on being happy.

i'm also trying to find some patience with a few acquaintances who keep pouring on the assvice as though my adopted-older-children-with-issues have the same everyday troubles as their biological children. this weekend i was actually told "stop trying to be the lone ranger." i'm not TRYING to be! in fact, i would rather NOT be! it's impossible to avoid these people and i'm not sure how to respond. kicking them in the shins and running away doesn't seem very polite...

Anonymous said...

Lurker coming out of the woodwork. This blog and the blogroll has been such a wealth of information for me during the past eight months of watching, waiting, temperature-taking, medicating, and copulating. We have just completed our first Clomid cycle and are on the verge of our first bona fide two-week wait. I'm still a newbie at all of this, so I appreciate all of your willingness to share what you are going through. It has helped me immensely during the start of our adventures in babymaking.

Oh, my drink. I'll have a Bailey's on the rocks.

battynurse said...

I'll start with a margarita I had at chili's last week, I think it was called a sunrise margarita and then I think I'll have a drink Luna described on her blog that was all fruity and sweet. I'm having a good week. I only have to shifts left in the assignment from hell and then it's off to funner places.

Kristin said...

Ooooohhh, Irish Coffee sounds awesome. Right now I'm enjoying the first day of kids back at school and I'm waiting to hear how my FIL's cancer surgery went. Two really different extremes there.

JuliaS said...

Well - I'm kind of celebrating - so something sparkly, fruity and festive please! I heard back (finally!!!) from one of the people I emailed about submitting a guest post for Bridges - WOO HOO!

Which is a nice cheery spot seeing as the Lupron is gone, baby, gone, and I am in endo hell which mass quantities of Advil seems to do little to alleviate. Why does being a hormonally messed up woman have to hurt so much?

Kristin said...

@ Calliope...that could be a cool drink name LPLC. Maybe two diff types that mix when you pour it.

@ Loribeth...hope proofreading goes smoothly and its at least something interesting to read.

@ Dawn...glad someone else is delurking.

@ Cece...congrats on being in the 3rd trimester and really starting to believe there's a baby in there.

@ Jill...Hope the clomid checkup holds pleasant surprises and that the puppy doesn't drive you crazy.

@ Mrs. Higrens...its really hard to come to peace with your body, isn't it? Good luck with your next cycle.

@ that your daughter in the pic? She is beautiful. Good luck to you and J next time around.

@ Elizabeth...its not cheating to come here. Just because you got the prize doesn't mean you still don't deal with infertility.

@ Emma...have a wonderful break.

@ Baby Steps...its such an amazing feeling when you finally start to believe that baby will come home with you.

@ tigger...hope the semester is better than you anticipate and the kitty and dog come to a detente soon.

@ Mamie...what we need is an assvice filter that turns it into something positive.

@ rachelburks...good luck.

@ battynurse...hope the last few shifts are problem free.

dmarie said...

Ughh--I need whole bottle of tequila just for me after seeing 2-lines that turned out to be a mistake.

chicklet said...

I've been ignoring this cycle really well, but today I was told my transfer's Thursday and now I'm all messed up over it. Not hopeful or any of that, just really in the thick of it again. Which I hate.

One (or two?) tall mojitos please. Followed by a tequila shot.

Stephanie, Phil, Kayla, Logan & Alex said...

First time for me at the bar. I think I'll have a frozen margarita - make that a double. Just dealing with the craziness of having to schedule things around three kids. (ICLW)

Care said...

Kamikaze please. More than one. Blown out tires, ruptured eardrums, house offer seems to have fallen through, weird spiking fevers, and the very real possibility that my youngest isn't really neurotypical after all - making me three for three in special needs kids. I'm trying not to cry in my lunch today.

Ally said...

Can I get a peach bellini? Yum-cool and peachy on a nice, hot summer day.

I wish I had something fun or exciting to post, but, alas, just sitting around and waiting for my late September appointment with a new RE. I'm going to drink to a nicer doctor with a more upbeat attitude. How's that?

Dora said...

I soooooo need a drink. Can't decide what. Bartender, something yummy with vodka, please.

I've been lurking in the IF blogisphere for several months and finally got inspired (desperate to get some of this out of my head?) to start my own. Please visit and be gentle. :-)

Silver said...

Some red wine please!

You are so amazing all the things that you find time to do with your blog(s)! I really wish I would discovered all the blog support when I first started all the IF crap (but it was 12 years ago, I don't think there were too many blogs around then!! lol). I am so happy that there is such a great place for all those still in the trenches. I am still trying to figure out how to be a parent after IF.

Take care

Jess said...

Mai Tai, and STRONG. I have a crapload to do before we go on vaca at the end of the week and no idea how it's going to get done!!

Life With Jack said...

I'm another one coming out of the woodwork today. I am having a tough time with secondary IF and dealing with a challenging 3 year old. I'm exhausted.

I'll take a Midori Sour...I love me a fruity drink! :)

Deborah said...

Over from ICLW and first time bar hopper. Going in for ER on Wednesday (IVF #2) after 12 long days of stims, my E2 levels are up past 4,000.

Bartender-make mine a Sex on the Beach- did I mention 12 days of stims.

Lisa said...

Perfect, perfect timing for me to see a Lushary post! I'm fresh off a weekend in which we fully decided to do one more IVF.

I could use a spicy bloody mary, I think, to deal with plunging back into the cycling waters. I emailed my RE last night (and she replied last night!) and have already been making calls and shuffling schedules to get things moving. Oh my golly! Drink, please!

Lisa said...

Why not. It's past noon here now. I could use a little cyber-nip to calm my fears about balancing IVF and freelance business demands for the third time in one year. I know which set of tasks & responsibilities is more demanding (IVF), but I also know which set pays for the other. (I don't mention IVF . . . or adult beverages! . . . on my work blog!)

Please pour me an Irish coffee. Make it decaf and hold the whipped cream since excess fat and caffeine are bad for fertility. :)

Dora said...

Lisa, re "hold the whipped cream since excess fat and caffeine are bad for fertility."

Whipped cream not necessarily bad!

"Ice Cream May Help Women Conceive

UK, Wednesday February 28, 2007

Ice cream can help a woman conceive, researchers have claimed.

A study found that eating high-fat dairy foods reduces the risk of ovulation failure.
180 ice cream van selling to child

Ice cream may help ovulation

Women could raise their chances of getting pregnant by tucking into ice cream, scientists said.

They claimed the more a woman consumed, the lower her risk of ovulation-related infertility.

A woman who ate ice cream two or more times a week had a 38% lower risk than one who treated herself less than once a week.

But weight-watching women who substituted high fat dairy products with skimmed milk or yoghurt could increase their likelihood of being infertile by more than four fifths.

American rersearcher Dr Jorge Chavarro said those wishing to get pregnant "should consider changing low-fat dairy foods for high-fat dairy foods; for instance, by swapping skimmed milk for whole milk and eating ice cream, not low fat yoghurt."

The study involved 18,555 women, aged 24 to 42, with no history of infertility.

The ice cream connection to pregnancy emerged after researchers adjusted for a whole host of other factors, like age, smoking, drinking and contraceptive use.

But an extra serving per day of low-fat dairy food, such as yoghurt, appeared to increase the risk of failing to ovulate by 11%.

The scientists believe fatty dairy products may contain a fat-soluble chemical which improves ovarian function.

After getting pregnant, women should switch back to low-fat dairy foods to limit their saturated fat intake and stay healthy, Dr Chavarro added.

Previous studies have suggested that lactose, a sugar found in milk, might be linked to anovulatory fertility."

loribeth said...

Besides which, it's a VIRTUAL lushary!! Anything goes!! ; )

Shelby said...

A new lurker here who is shocked that no one has requested a Lemon Drop! So sign me up. Someone's gotta do it, and being that it's after noon here, I think it's an acceptable hour to belly up to the bar. And per Dora's orders, add some Vanilla Bean ice cream on the side, please. Three scoops, as I head into a saline ultra sound today (to check the plumbing after D&C) and wait on pins and needles for genetic testing before we head into IUI #5.

Thanks, bartender!

RM said...

I'd love a plain old Miller Lite. I've been craving beer the last few weeks.

I am now 10 weeks pregnant and everything seems to be going great. But I've got two and a half more weeks before my next u/s and I'm obsessing that the baby is going to die between now and then. Maybe I need one beer in each hand so I can't Google more variations of "sensing fetal death". Ugh. Sorry to be so morbid. :(

Amber said...

Margarita, on the rocks, with salt. I don't care if it's the cheap tequila, just make sure there's A LOT of it.

Heading to a baby shower in a few hours for a woman who while TTC complained non-stop about how pregnant people talked about nothing but babies. Within 15 minutes of getting knocked up, it was all about her bouncing baby belly. I'm seriously thinking about hitting a (non-virtual) bar before the festivities begin. Is there anything wrong with being a slobbery drunk at a baby shower? But then, would they expect anything less from the Token Infertile?


smiling said...

I'll take a hot lemon and ginger, and seat me near someone who can tell good stories... ideally someone not pregnant cuz I have a whooping cold I do not want to inflict on the unsuspecting.

Just laying here in bed nursing my cold counting the weeks until I can start my first ever cycle, donor eggs here I come! Let me just sneeze and wheezy a bit first:) oh and don't mind my red face, I really am not at all embarassed - honest - its just my hot flashes that seem to get worse whenever I get sick.

OK off to curl up on the cozy looking velvet sofa over in the corner

Stacey said...

My favorite drink in the whole wide world is vanilla Dr Pepper. If I can't get one here at the bar I guess I'll have to head over to Sonic, but the folks in the next car over will think I'm weird when I roll the window down and tell them I'm crampy and cranky because AF is finally showing up today after an unexplained absence!

annacyclopedia said...

I'll take a bucket of sangria, please, and if you're all lucky, when I get done the first third of it, I might get up and dance some flamenco for you. I hear being drunk helps you dance better - I know it worked for me circa '93, although the music was different and there were no steps to remember.

It's been a rough month - my cycle has been a bust, seems I didn't ovulate, now I've been ever so very faintly spotting since Friday, which is very unusual, and I have no idea when I'm going to get to try again. I meet with Dr. Rational Sept. 9 to discuss next steps, and hopefully we'll be back in the stirrups in October. Never thought I'd say that but there you go.

Also seems I am being called on yet another spiritual/emotional quest, and I'm feeling a bit pissed off about that. Why can't the Universe leave me alone to eat Doritos for a while?

Alright, girls, here I go...olé!

Dreamer4agift said...

Well, let's see...last time I posted I was pg and couldn't I drink for the m/ I drink for my sadness...2 shots of tequila, straight up.

However, I would like to follow those 2 drinks with something happier...maybe a mai tai or hurricane. This will be due to the fact that I am officially a Paramedic which means better pay (and don't we all need more money nowadays?).

In fact, make it a round on me for that fact. Today I grieve, but I also celebrate. And I am finally looking forward to tomorrow and things turning up.

Geohde said...

Sleep. Deprivation.

Extreme sports I can't remember the day of the week, my name or what I did five minutes ago type.

You mean I need to elaborate further or can I just have lotsha alcohol please???

Too hard to type ;)



Bec said...

dreamer - your drink is on me, congratulations on becoming a paramedic :)

I'll take bourbon straight up. Am feeling sad and sorry for myself, but then again that's not unusual.

Tally said...

Mojito please... and keep them coming!

My 8 year old niece is living with us as she attends her first-ever week at day camp! While I love her to bits, and I am thrilled to have her company, the timing is nothing short of sucky in terms of fertility (we are o'ing this week).

Anyone have any tips on how to get it on with your spouse with an 8 year old in the house??? :p

Samantha said...

I'll take a glass of dry white wine, since I'm not enjoying that in my life right now.

I've just completed my first trimester of pregnancy, so I guess that's something to celebrate about! Recently my mind and time's been focusing on my move to Chicago and how I'm going to break the news to my new employer.

Shelby said...

Just saw this. I so needed it yesterday too! But was in no condition to do much of anything.

I had to put down my favorite cat yesterday morning. I held her, kissed her, and gave her lots of love while the vet did his job. My heart is broken. My poor Zoey was diagnosed with Chronic Renal Failure only 3 weeks ago, and she wasn't responding very well to treatments. It was time to let her go before she suffered. Even though it was the right decision, it was so hard to make the call. I'll never forget her.

Shelby said...

Right...I'll take a glass of red. In fact, why don't you leave the whole bottle?

Shinejil said...

Just pour me a nice Shiraz while I'm waiting for my hCG to get back to zero and my body to get back to normal.


Starr Morgan said...

I am a first time blogger. I just started my own blog yesterday and had NO IDEA how good it would feel to get some of my feelings out! My friends and family have no idea what I am feeling and I am so tired of hearing "just drink jack and coke all night, thats what did it for me"...ha ha, nervous laugh. Or "you're trying too hard, quit trying and you'll wake up pregnant".

I had no idea this support was out there. I have been wallowing in my own frustrations and tears for the past year and am excited to get involved in some supportive groups. I know a year isn't long compared to a lot of women, but it has been a year of hell nontheless. My heart goes out to those of you that have suffered for soooo many years, I cannot even imagine how you have coped for so long.

I'll take a bottle of Viognier please, chilled to about 45 degrees. Yum! I am in the two week wait (I think the abreviation is 2ww but havent learned all the acronyms yet) and all I want to do is open one of the bottles of wine in my cellar and down the whole thing, I HATE waiting!

I appreciate the support from anyone and everyone!

mamie said...

@ kristin - that's exactly what i need! hope the FIL's surgery went well.

@ tally - lock the door and turn up the tv if you have one in your bedroom! (works for us. at least i hope so!)

@ starr morgan - welcome to blogging! you've definitely come to the right place for support. mel is awesome.

maybe i drank too much virtual alcohol, because i just failed the word verification... twice!

Mara said...

A glass of sauvignon blanc, please. It's my first time at the bar, it feels good to be here. I have my first appt. with an IF specialist in September. I've been trying to conceive for at least 16 months (I know so many of you have been trying much longer and I salute your courage and perserverance!!) I was diagnosed with severe endo a few years ago. Still hoping AF doesn't come this month, I haven't given up hope that it could happen w/o medical assistance.

At the moment I'm feeling more at peace with this IF business, hopefully this feeling will stay a while. I've been on a roller coaster of emotions and it feels nice to be steady. I've really struggled with staying in the moment- the anticipation that comes along with trying to conceive is brutal.

Jo said...

A nice rioja, please.

just started a blog last month about being single and wanting a child. ( Still very much exploring my options so having a few drinks may bring clarity? I've been blown away by the community of online women. Thanks for the ladeez night at the bar!

alicia said...

Belini please!!!

First time at the bar, pretty excited about it! look at all these neat stories! I don't have much to complain about, but want to send all you ladies here at the bar a HUGE hug and the next round is on me! ha ha easy to pay for free drinks!

Also here via ICLW!

Sarah said...

I'll have a margarita, on the rocks, with salt. Lots of salt, please and thank you!

I'm nervous. About the HSG. About what comes after the HSG. About everything. But then I feel ridiculous for being nervous. I think I'm just really emotional right now. Perhaps because that wench Flo is due soon.
Which means I'm that much closer to the HSG! Ugh!!

Can I have a shot of tequila with training wheels too please?!

Murgdan said...

Ok. I'm just now entering the bar. I think I'm a day late AND it's I hope I haven't missed closing time.

I had a hell of a day carting in hubby's very first SA in on my very first stop by what will NOT likely be my future RE office. It was a harrowing experience.

I spent the rest of the day scheduling and registering for my HSG and US (all taking place within the next 2 weeks).

Also found out I have NO infertility coverage.

Please. Just pick something strong and bitter (like me).

Murgdan said...

OH. And I started my period this morning. While delivering the SA.

Mary said...

Sorry, I'm late to the party. Bring me a bottle of tequilla and let me drown my sorrows. My D&C was Friday, my birthday was Saturday and I'm feeling like everyone just thinks I should be over this loss and move on. I'm smiling and trying to act "normal" so other people won't feel so uncomfortable. We meet with the RE on the 11th and I have to decide if I am willing to put myself through this just one more time. We came so close this time it is hard to not want to try again. But, I am terrified of losing yet another baby. But, I am also terrified of never being a Mom. What's a girl to do? Another round please!

Cassandra said...

Although it's been years, I used to be a fuzzy navel girl. Or tonight at dinner, there was a drink on the menu that looked very tasty with champagne and mango and lemonade. I didn't order it because my in-laws haven't seen me drink in years due to my long-standing TTC. After many years they have finally stopped offering me booze at every meal. It was easier not to order it and let them keep thinking that I just don't drink, rather than drinking one cocktail and having to make up reasons why I am drinking now but never do otherwise. So instead, I will have a virtual yummy fruity drink with you.

Cara said...

The drink is easy, A Sombrero for me please!

The request is support! I have a phone date with my agent on Monday morning about sending out my book proposal(a memoir / healing guide for parents dealing with baby loss) to publishers.

I'm over the moon that I might be able to finally make a difference with this devestaing experience we were dealt and insanely excited / nervous about stepping into a new world (ie - publishing and being published!) goes...bottoms up!