The Daily News

LFCA Latest Issue: Friday, September 25, 2009.

Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

My Status: Fed Josh's almonds to the squirrels. They needed them very badly.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

One for the Road

In honour of the roadie and my crack-of-dawn flight on Thursday, I am sending out a round of invisible mimosas--on the house, of course. I know I traditionally post Barren Advice on Tuesdays and I'll certainly be back next week with an answer or two, but right now, I just feel like I need a drink. And perhaps you need an imaginary drink too. So we can drink together.

Though, perhapsie (that's one of my new favourite words: perhapsie) instead of a mimosa, I should have something with cranberry., I probably don't need to spell out what my medical woe of the week is right now. But let's just say that Karen and Lindsay got a very uncomfortable and cranky Melissa at lunch.

Was that more information than you wanted to know?

Cranberry martinis or a mimosa--it's your choice. But can we all just take a minute to sit down and catch each other up and...pretend to drink?

It has been about a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I'll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person's blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while (or if this is your first open bar as someone who found this space through IComLeavWe...which, by the way, begins on the 21st!), sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don't have a blog--gasp!--you can always leave an email address if you're looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you're a regular at the bar, I'll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I'm glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I'm talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation back on this current post.

So have a cocktail and tell us what is up with your life. When I have to leave for BlogHer, I'll just leave the bar open. I trust you guys to pour carefully and clean up when you're done. And not throw up too much in the bathroom.


Stacie said...

Ooh yeah! I am first.

Okay, barkeep. Give me something. ANYTHING. Just make is strong.

Today is day one of chicken pox fever at my house. (did Helen send them all the way over here?) Both of them have it. What fun!

I had to laugh when I saw that first spot on Jason. Why not have chicken pox? Things weren't interesting enough.

It is never boring around here, that is for sure. Sigh.

N said...

Ooof, could I use a drink.

My brother's fifth yahrzeit was Saturday, and now I'm waiting out two cycles off, complete with polypectomy to come. I'm sure that sleep would help, if only I could get some.

I know I haven't commented here much, if at all, but wanted to thank you for creating this space for people.

Jess said...

I'll take whatever. I'm not picky.

You know what? Actually I'll take a Mt Dew and Capt Morgan.

Strong, please! Just because I'm tired and feeling it today.

SarahSews said...

When do you leave Mel? And will there be a gtg? I need an excuse to get out of the house with my little man. :)

Since we last had a lushary, I had a baby. How's that for an update? Things here are good. Better than I've ever been in my life, even if I haven't slept in days.

luna said...

all I can say is I hope to buy YOU a round in a few days! good luck with that asscrackodawn flight. does ativan let you sleep?

Just Me. said...

Are you serving drinks again?

How timely.

I have 7 days till AF decides whether she wants to make an appearance or not. And if she does, a new journey starts for us.

Our first IVF.

So, if you are still serving drinks in 7 days time, I would like something very strong and lethal to numb whatever.

Natalie said...

Yes please. Please. Anything strong.

I found out today that one of my clients hired someone else to re-do something I did. But I am still employed by them. I still do updates. I just, apparently, am not to do the big stuff.

I'm going to go sit in the little girl's corner now.

VA Blondie said...

Hmmm... Maybe an apple martini for me. I had one of those recently, and it was very yummy!

I am learning that I am actually an OK OR nurse. Who knew? I am gaining confidence the longer I am off orientation. It feels really good.

Also, I am getting ready to start some triggered IUI cycles, just as soon as my RE comes back from vacation, and I can get the ultrasound of my uterus scheduled.

Enjoying a case of the lazies recently, and have not wanted to do much of anything when not at work. I have been calling it summeritis. It seems to fit.

Lisa said...

Absolut and 7-Up here. Thanks!

After some medical scares and unertanties not related to IF (who knew there were things going on in my body outside IF?!), I have been cleared and we are gearing up to do IVF #6 next month!

I view it with both excitement and trepidation as this is most likely our last attempt with my eggs.

JuliaS said...

Please - something, ANYTHING to help me forget the sensation (and mortification) of having a cath cam shoved up my you know what yesterday. After that delightful experience I got lost in the parking garage and then dissolved in a puddle of tears when I finally found it and then I got moldy tasting lemonade when I stopped for lunch. NOT a good day.

(launches into slightly off key and very robust rendition of "Am I Blue?"

loribeth said...

I'll take one of those mimosas, please. I am counting the workdays (13 -- marked in my datebook!) until I am on (finally!!) on vacation. And trying not to think too much about the fact that shortly after that will be 10 years since the loss of my daughter. I just realized last night that she would be starting Grade 5 in the fall. Just. Not. Possible. :(

RM said...

I would love a huge virtual glass of white wine. Because I'm off the real stuff now that I got a positive test. I could use it though to relax, and maybe to unfocus my eyes so I can't inspect my wet tp for blood every time I go pee. Hopefully I have many many many weeks ahead of only virtual drinks...

Lori said...

Hope your tooth is doing OK. Or was that just a ploy to get more airplane-toleration drugs?

The reason I need a drink? We took Tessa to the dentist AGAIN yesterday to get the tooth fragment re-glued back on. Substitute Dentist decided instead to wait until Regular Dentist comes back from her month-long vacation.

And then he charged me $95 for saying so!


Cece said...

I'd like a Red Bull and Vodaka. Nice mix of the forbidden, caffine and alcohol. Yum.

Today I have a follow up u/s on my one last week - hoping the baby flipped so we can get all the pictures I need!

Topcat said...

I'll have a big fat glass of suck-it-the-f*ck-up. Which isn't even a real drink - I can't HAVE a real drink because I'm a mofo ALCOHOLIC. Yes. I can't even have a pretend real drink. Excluded, much?

My husband is an arsehole. He has cancer and it's devastating, yes .... but he's still an arsehole.


So sorry to use this space so angrily. My blog had to go private. I love my blog! Who will read my cranky, angry posts now!?

My email is lifeoftopcat at gmail dot com .... I will send an invite to whoever is game.

Mel, I would love it if you mentioned it. Thanks. A lot. xo

Kim said...

I'll take whatever. It's been a long time since I had a real drink!

I, too, had a baby since the last Lushary. A little tired but worth it all.

Keep 'em coming Mel!

Kymberli said...

There's not been much since the last belly-up to the bar. I'm still in limbo waiting to hear if I'm moving on to an FET or if I will be finding new GS intended parents. School starts in two weeks and I am nowhere near ready to start school again.

Samantha said...

Cranberry is good, even without medical problems. I'll take a cranberry and orange juice and vodka, why not? It's virtual!

I'm just trying to enjoy my newfound pregnancy without so much worry about the blood, but I think I'm getting there. I guess the nausea can serve as a good reminder too!

A.M.S. said...

Oh, Mel. I'm sorry and I hope things are better before your flight! If you get tired of cranberry juice, I've always found that Red Zinger tea works just as well. All that ascorbic acid in the rosehips, y'know? I was going to ask for a nice cold glass of sangria, but in sympathy with you I'll have a cape cod instead. :)

Hey, I may be late on this but I just saw the BlogHer Hero award! Congratulations!

Not much going on here. We've met with the MFM specialist and gotten our initial questions answered about how a subsequent pregnancy would be handled. Now, we're just sort of coasting until I really feel brave enough to rip my still-beating heart out of my chest, I mean...try another FET cycle. October has always been a lucky month for me. I'm thinking that's a good time to try to get pregnant.

Jill said...

Give me 5 shots of your hardest stuff...

My husband's boss is a two faced A**hole, one of my best friends just told me that his fiance aborted his baby (that he REALLY REALLY wanted) and ran off to New York, and another one of my best friends hs having big troubles with her boyfriend. I love to be the person that people look to for advice and comfort, but it just KILLS me to see people that I love in pain.........

Calliope said...

wooo hooo! The lushery is still open!
I would love a vodka something fruity...
Mel- I wish you a safe flight. Can;t wait to hear about it all!!


Searching said...

I'll take anything nice and frozen.

Still trying to kick this strep/bronchitis/sinusitis mess after being sick for over a week now. I barely have a voice at the moment and am waiting on pins and needles for a lady to call to schedule an interview for a new job this week. I desperately need to be well, or at least well enough to pretend I am well, so this first impression can be a good one.


Anonymous said...

I'd love a cranberry martini, thanks.

I'm waiting and watching my lone follicle go. Trying to decide whether to do two IUIs, one, or none. Totally confused by the conflicting information online about late ovulation and egg and uterine lining quality. No idea whether we should be spending our money this cycle or not.


Lindsay said...

So glad you re-opened the bar, ma'am. I would dearly love something smooth and slow.

We go in today to find out if our very last Clomid cycle was effective (or not - which is my feeling at the moment, I fear). I'm ready to take a short break and launch into injectables with IUI in September. That is, if we need it...

Oh, and I have started to blog again. Fresh new blog, as the last was too full of my own acrimony (much to my embarrassment).

Kristin said...

I'm relatively new to posting here but I've been lurking and reading for a long while. I'd really love a frozen margarita about now. And here are the reasons why...
1) My 2 yr old is screaming because he is trying to run his toy lawn mower over a book and the book isn't behaving. Somehow, its my fault because I can't make the book behave.
2)My sister's puppy just died and my older kids are crushed. Dealing with death and kids sucks.
3)I really want to get back in the saddle and try one more time but I'm scared because of what it entails.

baggage said...

I'll take anything, although I'm enjoying a pepsi right now with this little snap on thing that makes your can into a bottle and it is way cool.

About me: Foster mom to four kids, supposed to get married in three weeks but have no real plans and am freaking out. I'm having a virtual shower over on my blog where you can win prizes. I like prizes.

Heather said...

I had my three hour glucose test yesterday and I PASSED!!! I'm so excited about that!

I'm jealous and sad about not getting to go to BlogHer.

I really want a mudslide from Applebees - but we don't have one of those around here and I can't drink in real I'll take one of those virtual ones!

Arian said...

Oooo! Can I get a mimosa over here?!?! I could use a drink to help pass the time right now. This waiting crap sucks so much!

I'm on CD 22 today and I'm tapping my toes. The crampy feeling won't go away and I have no clue if I've ovulated or not. Oh yeah and I am sick to death of "relations" at the moment! And I don't mean the kind you can leave at the family reunion! I feel like the brunt of someone's very sick joke sometimes... pass me another please...

Michell said...

I think I'll have a long island iced tea. It's my favorite and I haven't had one in a good long while.

Christy said...

Oh how I need this! I think I'll have a jumbo strawberry margarita, and maybe a basket of chips and salsa to go with that. I'm in a great place waiting for the adoption and getting ready for the baby to come. However, there's another issue going on that I just can't share on my blog due to it's public nature. It seems that the complete unexpected has happened, and now I am my own cliche. I have a new, private, invite only blog detailing these latest developments. I can be emailed at ccrissieataoldotcom for an invite . . . Drink up everyone!

~ Katie ~ said...

1 Jack and Cokes to help loosen the newbie's tongue please.

1 RedBull and vodka while I "patiently" wait for the dr's office to call back to let me know whether or not we will continue on the Clomid

1 Adios MthrFckr to help ease the endo pain that has decided to pop back into my life in catagory 5 hurricane strength force.

1 Texas sized Long Island Ice Tea to help me get through this incredibly, boring day.

Thanks Mel! You're a doll and a fabulous bar keep. :) Some buffalo wings would go great with these drinks.

..soo.see.. said...

Omg I was just saying 2 days ago how much I wanted mimosa! Lol that's what I'll take in celebration of this IVF PG. I feel good (aside from being having that IF anxiousness). Have fun at blogher, safe trip!

Julia said...

I am just not in a good mood. No reason I can immediately point to. I just want to crawl into a tight space and sit there for a day or so. So can I have something virtually strong yet fruity, please? Anything, really.

nh said...

Lots of alcohol, please to sette my newbie nerves, something long and cool although to be fair anything will do.

Still struggling to get over yet another IVF failure and dealing with the stupid things that people say. And then I have my first FET to plan...

Zee said...

I don't know. Vodka tonic with lime? I'll just sit here behind this plant and not talk to anyone. Feel free to refer to it as "Zee's Hostility Corner" and avoid it at all costs.

I try to pretend that I'm getting okay with the fact that we're at the end of the line, but I'm SO NOT. I just finished my period and for a moment it looked like MAYBE we'd be in "the zone" when I'm over to see VB next week. But now here it is CD10, I'm still spotting, and the hot flashes are starting up again--which means that something's horribly hormonally off. AGAIN. (Not like last cycle, when we DIDN'T see each other, and everything worked just great.) F*CK. So I guess it's really, truly perimenopause. What a lucky, lucky girl I am. It's so great to be the one about whom people can say, "Well, my deal sucks ass but at least I'm not a million years old like HER." Cheers!

Io said...

Ah, work is a bit nutso and Al takes the bar two weeks from today. I am sick thinking that he might fail again. I think a gin & tonic would settle me nicely.
Wish I could buy you a real drink!

Hope2morrow said...

I'd love a key lime pie martini, please! Yummy! Maybe a few of those would help me get out of this funk I have been in. Ick!

Currently in limbo land, waiting for another FET in September. Yippee. (Can you hear my sarcasm?) Maybe once the funk leaves I'll feel more optimistic!

I know my drink is finished now, so would you mind making me two more. I think the law says I can have one in each hand. Thanks, Mel!

Dreamer4agift said...

I'm joinin' in for a drink tonight ladies. 'Cuz lord knows I need one. I believe I'll take a mimosa, please, Mel...and then my favorite pom-margarita. Yummy...And keep 'em comin'.

I'm still getting over the m/c, both physically and emotionally (and to top it off, my first af post m/c has come to visit now-wonderful), but it's a lot better.

I've also been approached to possibly adopt a baby of a family friend. Don't really know how that will go and I'm REALLY trying not to get attached to the idea, but the kid is so freakin' adorable that I can't help but grin ear to ear when I see his picture. I just want to find something out quickly, so my heart can slow down.

Okay, takin' a breath and a drink now:-) Love you ladies!

Julybug said...

I'm sorry to hear about the "issue" you're having, Mel! Lots of cranberry vibes your way! Get good-quality cranberry cocktail, and then add straight cranberry juice. Strong stuff, but it'll help clean out the little invaders! Or, you can be strange like me, and like your cranberry minimally sweet - I drink it that way all the time, sometimes with some sparkling water mixed in.

Anyway, I'm not sure what drink I want... either a nice light Hefeweisen beer, or my usual favorite mixed drink - a dry lemon drop martini! Yum...!

I'm still fairly new to all this, so hello all. I have PCOS, went off the pill in December, O'ed in January, and not since. DH's SA was normal, fortunately (PCOS is enough).

I'm getting my second ultrasound in a week on Thurs. Last Friday's ultrasound showed "stereotypically cystic PCOS ovaries" with no leading follicle. Happy happy joy joy. But, my estradiol level was higher than expected, so in case I might be developing a dominant follicle, they want me to come in again.

We're rapidly headed toward HSG (which scares the crap out of me), Clomid, and all the monitoring that goes with it, etc. Interestingly, I just heard that an old friend also has PCOS and is on much the same trajectory and timing.

Work is a major crisis. My boss is stressed and transferring it to the department in the form of being nitpicky about the most annoying things. I often get the brunt of it since I work closely with her much of the time, which sucks hardcore given that frankly, my head is in the world of TTC, and I care less and less every day about all the work crap. We'll see how long I last there, before I feel forced to quit (and scramble for something part-time) because I can't get the time for my appointments and things are just too stressful. It sucks big time because the job keeps us in cheap but good benefits. :(

Ah well!

If my jabbering is even remotely interesting, check out my blog. Good luck, everyone!

Tigger said...

I couldn't type all this out yesterday, so I'm a day late. Mom is well and truly approaching the end - they've put her on oxycontin/hydrocodone cocktail with a morphine chaser as needed. Unless I miss my guess entirely (and when it comes to medical crap, I don't usually), she's reached end-stage status and will die before too much longer. She was only on straight hydrocodone for a week before it stopped working, and the oxy isn't doing much on it's own. The pain is just too much, despite mom referring to it as "discomfort".

I am in a panic, a shock that it's here already even though I've known for almost a year. I feel like I am constantly wailing on the inside and fighting the urge to throw a tantrum worthy of a 3-year old. So please...line up the copper camel shots and keep them coming. I need a place to drown.

Somewhat Ordinary said...

Have a great time at BlogHer!!

I know it is a wuss drink, but I could really use a whole six pack of Mike's Hard Cranberry Lime. I've got a lot of self-pity because I got laid off in April and can't find another one. Then there is the horrible guilt I feel about not wanting to stay home with the baby that took me 2 1/2 years to conceive.

AnotherDreamer said...

I'm a lurker :)

and I would like... a fuzzy navel.

It would take the edge off while I do the Clomid Limbo.