This post is cross-posted (mostly) with BlogHer:
It's incredible how much my life mirrors J Lo's. Every magazine I open, every celebrity blog out there is desperate to know if I used fertility treatments to conceive my twins. Some people say I brought it on myself by always playing coy and doing my whole "look at me! Don't look at me!" thing. Maybe I did, but now that I'm holding these two little 3 1/2 year old nuggets of love, I am ready to invite you into my townhouse and take a small peek into the chaotic and wonderful life of just your-average-celebrity mum.
If you'll step over here, you can watch me demurely cross my ankles while I gaily feed the ChickieNob soy bacon and carrot sticks. Over in our living room (which is also our dining room, playroom, and home office), you can plant yourself on the marked-down sofa and watch me nuzzle the Wolvog while he squirms out of my unmanicured hands. Take a peek into how we squeezed two beds in a single room due to an absolute lack of space. And ask me any question. Any question you like.
BlogHer: You look incredible. It's been...what? 3 1/2 years? And you've almost lost the baby weight.
Melissa: I know, I'm really blessed with wonderful genes.
BlogHer: And potty training? Which one of you is actually conducting the potty training?
Melissa: Josh is such an amazing father--a natural. It is incredibly how he has figured out how to help our children learn how to urinate on the toilet. I, of course, am too busy still training for my Iron Man this upcoming fall.
BlogHer: Let's just get this out in the open. Can you set the record straight about how challenging it was to conceive?
Melissa: Do you see a dime buried in that marked-down sofa? Of course not, since we've already scrounged for it ourselves. I think it's pretty obvious that we did fertility treatments due to our lack of money.
Thus ends the interview portion of this post.
It is obvious looking at the sheer elegance of J Lo's house that her vagina could not have possibly seen the hollowed end of a catheter because she obviously is not paying off thousands in medical bills.
All of this is said tongue-in-cheek; I don't truly care if J Lo has done treatments or not or if she admits to them or only writes about them in her super secret diary. Truthfully, just because she is a celebrity doesn't mean that it's my business and regardless of social status, it's never fun to be on the receiving end of the twin guessing game. In fact, it's ten kinds of annoying to get the thinly-veiled questions and comments when you have conceived with fertility treatments so I would think that it would be equally annoying to receive them when you haven't conceived with treatments.
I'm fairly certain that with few exceptions, no one wanted Jennifer Lopez to need IVF (um...I'm right...right?). And if you actually read her answer, she doesn't deny fertility drugs--just in vitro. Twins may run in Marc's family, though twinning is never determined by the male and J Lo may have enough multiples in her family for a twin convention, though I'm fairly certain without any close relatives having twins that it's unlikely to have come from her side as well. Twinning, of course, is more common with women over 35.
Bloggers, though, have not taken offense with the fact that we can't claim J Lo as one of our own and have her step up to be the next Resolve spokesperson. It's the way she put down other paths to parenthood including her own stepmotherhood when she said, "I can't even think of anything that can match the actual miracle of giving birth and having your own child. It's beyond anything you could ever imagine." And it is beyond what millions of people who adopt apparently get to imagine and frankly, we're all a little tired of celebrities ignoring the existing children they parent in order to wax philosophical about their newborns. Last I checked, parents who do not gestate their children still find them to be miracles so perhaps it has nothing to do with uteruses?
It's the way that she left the millions of men and women experiencing unexplained infertility as not wanting it badly enough when she said, "I knew there was nothing wrong with me. I knew that I could. Deep down, I really wanted it badly."
There have been other responses, but I think it was Akeeyu's post at herveryown that hit the nail on the head as she relayed a conversation she had with an elderly acquaintance:
I told her that I did indeed see The Jo Lo.And that is precisely the problem with the interview. Because there is the rewarded and the unrewarded. And reality (two round-the-clock baby nurses) and fantasy (we're doing it all by ourselves and just paying these baby nurses thousands of dollars to look pretty--wait, they can do that since they didn't pay for treatments).
"You know what I think?"
I wondered if she thought what everybody else in the known universe was thinking, but said nothing.
"I think those babies were gifts from God."
"Oh?" I said politely, fervently hoping for Jennifer Lopez's sake that they were not gifts from God. The gods, after all, have a long history of giving pretty questionable gifts.
"She waited so long, you know. I think those babies were her reward because of everything she had to go through."
The blame, of course, falls squarely on the shoulders of magazines that make us believe that we should be interested in the uteruses of celebrities. Because once you remove the People magazine from the house, she doesn't even cross my mind. And I get to live my day happily-ever-after in our townhouse, ducking my own twin questions left and right.
I have a policy never to post something on my blog that I wouldn't mind the person reading if they found it. The chances of J Lo finding this post, of course, are slim to none, but I keep that in mind regardless. But I would say this to her face if we ever bumped into each other at a twin convention (though perhaps I wouldn't admit to the sofa being a marked-down). Hence I hit publish.