tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post3739061213325302895..comments2023-08-15T05:02:58.115-04:00Comments on Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters: J. Lo's Infertility BlockLollipop Goldsteinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-62781982778334394782008-04-06T02:05:00.000-04:002008-04-06T02:05:00.000-04:00So that's the problem. I'll start wanting it more....So that's the problem. I'll start wanting it more.Antigonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09206205690072218302noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-32385746558993690332008-04-04T12:48:00.000-04:002008-04-04T12:48:00.000-04:00The whole "bump watch" think has gotten out of han...The whole "bump watch" think has gotten out of hand. Now ordingary fat women like me can't even shop in public without having their (babyless) bumps spotted. Ugh.<BR/><BR/>I don't get why reprodcution has become such a public topic (outside of IF blogging that is). Either you tried too hard to get pg or you had an oopsie baby, everyone has to question the motive, the reason, the method . . .<BR/><BR/>Why? <BR/><BR/>And to prove that we are ALL suckers for celebrity gossip . . . check out your comment count today! LOL Who needs People maazing anyway?beaglehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17627886826215379414noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-5770204948818544852008-04-04T10:28:00.000-04:002008-04-04T10:28:00.000-04:00Maybe she's embarrassed about doing her fertility ...Maybe she's embarrassed about doing her fertility treatments because it makes her seem less than her perfect (in her mind) celebrity status. I don't know. I just know that when I finally get to add a child to my family I will be happy regardless of the means it took to get them here.astralhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17071489588665538423noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-24152255673381015612008-04-04T03:18:00.000-04:002008-04-04T03:18:00.000-04:00Yeah. Yeah. The whole idea that there's somethin...Yeah. Yeah. The whole idea that there's something wrong with people who don't get children, that they didn't want them enough, that they didn't deserve them, that they got given them briefly, perhaps, but then taken away and all this happened *for a reason*. It just doesn't stand up to scrutiny. It's pretty insulting.<BR/><BR/>BeaBeahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11877513815828460269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-39356225291576427422008-04-03T21:55:00.000-04:002008-04-03T21:55:00.000-04:00Yeah... gift from God... ughu... makes all the ber...Yeah... gift from God... ughu... makes all the bereaved parents feel warm and fuzzy inside, I am sure. I know that's how I feel. <BR/>Love people running off their mouthes without thinking, love them. <BR/>But I am sure we just didn't want it bad enough. Clearly not bad enough. <BR/><BR/>And I would say it to her face. Anyday. <BR/><BR/>I haven't read the article, btw. Not interested in hiking my blood pressure for some reason. Plus, lucky for me, I guess, I am not really interested in celebrities. Although it is as easy for one of them as for any other asshat to piss me off.Juliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09745262857388007041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-81201224612305283672008-04-03T20:35:00.000-04:002008-04-03T20:35:00.000-04:00I like the fact that they consider themselves very...I like the fact that they consider themselves very "hands on" with their children and yet have two round-the-clock nannies. Must be nice. <BR/><BR/>Oh and the whole twinning thing? Uh, yeah. Even though women over 35 have a higher chance in having twins ... I still think that she definitely went the medication route. <BR/><BR/>Your post was SPOT ON ... brava! brava!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-5405625415235918972008-04-03T19:09:00.000-04:002008-04-03T19:09:00.000-04:00Were celebrities having babies before I started TT...Were celebrities having babies before I started TTC? Or did they start doing it right at the same time, just to show me up? And did you notice a sudden jump in celebrity pregnancies right after my first miscarraige? <BR/><BR/>Seriously, why did having a baby have to get trendy right when I learned I was infertile? I'm pretty sure it's all a plot to make me feel even more inadequate.<BR/><BR/>Of course, J-Lo has a good point. Like good skin, a svelte figure, and piles of money, a baby is something I just haven't wanted badly enough or tried hard enough to get.<BR/><BR/>Nice post, Mel! (I read a lot of them, but am often to intimidated by your vast and brilliant viewership to comment.)the Babychaser:https://www.blogger.com/profile/12205229469287159556noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-71201761712915150362008-04-03T18:33:00.000-04:002008-04-03T18:33:00.000-04:00So many great comments here... particularly the id...So many great comments here... particularly the idea that childless, infertile, or, I would add, childfree by choice women are to be stigmatized for their condition or choices. I agree with Andria that it parallels mental illness.<BR/><BR/>I'd like to see infertility, childfree by choice living, and all the weird grey areas in between receive more attention in the media, including from celebs. How often do you see a magazine in the grocery line with the headline "Celeb Experiences Real Love and Selflessness -- Without a Baby!"?magdalenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16731828150673504665noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-81284872051327588622008-04-03T18:26:00.000-04:002008-04-03T18:26:00.000-04:00I loved your take on this. No matter whether she h...I loved your take on this. <BR/>No matter whether she had treatment or not she tried for three years. She knows how it hurts. She should have been less clumsy with her replies.Carriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15454167446758199344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-69293979136535824792008-04-03T18:02:00.000-04:002008-04-03T18:02:00.000-04:00Right on, Snatch! I must not have wanted those tw...Right on, Snatch! <BR/><BR/>I must not have wanted those two babies I miscarried badly enough. Either that or I didn't believe hard enough. Or maybe I just ran out of babydust... Oh well. It's too bad that I'll never get to experience the true joy of parenting since we're adopting and not having our own but I guess that's what happens when you don't want it badly enough. I'm just too damn lazy. Can somebody pass the bonbons?<BR/><BR/>Oh, and our sofa was marked down, too.Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11613907883139565991noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-50341488789031291932008-04-03T16:49:00.000-04:002008-04-03T16:49:00.000-04:00THANK YOU!! I read that article in the checkout ...THANK YOU!! I read that article in the checkout at the grocery and wanted to scream. First of all, heaven forbid her children ever, ever spit up in that room :) And it killed me to read about how there's nothing equal to birthing a child. I feel pretty darn attached to my child who didn't come from my body but who is mine nonetheless. And good thing she willed herself to get pregnant. That's the ONE thing I forgot to try. Dang.katdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04687817796634095367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-10909103481402160782008-04-03T15:55:00.000-04:002008-04-03T15:55:00.000-04:00I love celebrities....not!Seriously, she does have...I love celebrities....not!<BR/><BR/>Seriously, she does have a right to her privacy - she doesn't have to tell the world if she went through IVF or not. That is her right. However, without even reading said article, her comments are downright insulting to anyone who has walked the IF or loss path. Every child is a miracle, regardless of how conceived. A child's life is beautiful...and what makes it even more beautiful is the unconditional love bestowed on that child.<BR/><BR/>What I find completely insulting is the waste of cash on, how many was it? Three nurseries? Four? Okay, the babies have every right to be pampered...but, when I go to my door to give the homeless, schizophrenic man who looks to shovel snow in the winter just to buy a piece of bread to eat, I can't help but wonder if these children stand the chance of honestly knowing how lucky their lives will be? Of being compassionate and empathetic?<BR/><BR/>Leaves me shaking my head... I can't imagine throwing a fit (a la Christina Aguliera) because my baby didn't sell enough covers of a magazine. Children are priceless...and to be paid to show them off is, well, tacky and demeaning.Tina / Anxious Changerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05455878557333244801noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-46748600464700015642008-04-03T15:28:00.000-04:002008-04-03T15:28:00.000-04:00very well said.very well said.battynursehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02240029154165501340noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-50363001062309634992008-04-03T15:14:00.000-04:002008-04-03T15:14:00.000-04:00JuliaS said it best for me. Ditto to like---EVERYT...JuliaS said it best for me. Ditto to like---EVERYTHING.<BR/><BR/>And teh4, infertility and pg loss are very very taboo in our society, completely stigmatized. I always praise to the skies any public persona who comes out. Every time they do, they make it easier for the rest of us.<BR/><BR/>I am very open in real life about it, and among political people, I can tell you that they are all in the closet. I am one of the few who is out in my party. Meanwhile, over 100 prominent politicians & staffers have come out to me privately, and I won't out them, but damn I'd love it if they did come out.<BR/><BR/>We need the support.Aureliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13691032415028867902noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-61065747728390796832008-04-03T14:57:00.000-04:002008-04-03T14:57:00.000-04:00Stars! They're Just Like Us!I've already wretched...Stars! They're Just Like Us!<BR/><BR/>I've already wretched enough over JLo. I have no problem with folks keeping things private, it's just the condemnation of needing help that is implicit in the words that gets to me.LJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08398924875071245573noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-24159720648843826142008-04-03T14:47:00.000-04:002008-04-03T14:47:00.000-04:00Great conversation going on here -I'm really inter...Great conversation going on here -I'm really interested in “Andria and Co.’s” comments about infertility being a stigmatizing condition. Do you think if celebrities openly discussed fertility issues it would help to build a comfort level around discussing fertility issues? Who about other than celebrities? what would have to happen for people to feel comfortable discussing infertility like any other health issue/condition?teh4https://www.blogger.com/profile/03384907217005525400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-39015499149313965782008-04-03T14:13:00.000-04:002008-04-03T14:13:00.000-04:00Loved this post--and over at BlogHer. Well said, m...Loved this post--and over at BlogHer. Well said, my friend.JJhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18027548058304720360noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-65436683924120530032008-04-03T13:27:00.000-04:002008-04-03T13:27:00.000-04:00Well - you know, I really didn't want those seven ...Well - you know, I really didn't want those seven babies I miscarried bad enough. <BR/><BR/>I didn't get frustrated after the first year of ttc with no BFP, no, not I - and that clomid I took? Well, that was a natural fertility supplement. And the Follistim injections I did later on? Oh - that was nothing, just more vitamins. <BR/><BR/>All those follicle scans were just because my ovaries are so darn freaking pretty - EVERYone wanted to see them. I PAID my doc's office $200 a scan because I wanted to share my perfection with the world and show everybody how I got follies because I KNEW I would!<BR/><BR/>But - I need to run now, I am trying to figure out some way of removing formula stains out of my pink satin ballgown . . .<BR/><BR/>Bleah - say it was hard, say it was frustrating for those 3 years - say that you cried every month your period showed up and your dh patted your shoulder and said "maybe next time". Say how amazingly blessed you felt when the BFP finally showed up and when you got to hold those two miracles in your arms for the first time - naturally, unnaturally (as if there is such a thing?) conceived - found under a cabbage leaf, bought from a boutique on Rodeo Drive . . . Say that because it would be HONEST, and no one would criticize you for being human.<BR/><BR/>Other "famous" women have done it - no one thinks any less of them and they managed to do so without belittling the thousands of women who struggle and fight for the very same thing that just plopped into your lap because deep down you KNEW.JuliaShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10668995954240697998noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-23462780997521686092008-04-03T12:38:00.000-04:002008-04-03T12:38:00.000-04:00For Andrina -- As far as I know Courtney Cox doesn...For Andrina -- As far as I know Courtney Cox doesn't deny she needed extensive help to become a mother. I seem to recall discussion of multiple miscarriages and treatments in an interview with her.<BR/><BR/>As for JLo, I like her. I dislike that she feels the need to give random fertiles firepower in our never ending battle to not be blamed for our infertility. She may indeed have thought nothing was wrong with her and she may have indeed been right. But even that and a very strong desire to be a mother might never have gotten her what she wanted. She pretends she had control, which is what fertiles want to believe right? That if we relax, vacation, prop our hips up, that somehow we have power over our reproduction? We know it isn't true. And for her to pretend otherwise, whether she did treatment or not, drives me batty.<BR/><BR/>And I say that as someone who DID magically get pregnant without medical assistance after years of wanting and waiting, with failed treatment behind me. We were unexplained and treatment failed me. And we did eventually do it on our own. But I am big enough to admit that my desire played no part in it. And that somehow we got luckier than we ever imagined possible. That's all I wanted from her.SarahSewshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16942500174012557069noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-41505780620573991782008-04-03T12:13:00.000-04:002008-04-03T12:13:00.000-04:00Infertility, like mental illness, is something tha...Infertility, like mental illness, is something that women are criticized for. It's our fault, the public sometimes screams. Admit your infertility, and you have admitted defeat. That you are a weak person. At least, that is the response I received. I think celebrities, like J. Lo, and Courtney Cox, feel this heat, and don't want to admit that they are "like one of us".Andriahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11555953207285169472noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-73993851571277279402008-04-03T11:49:00.000-04:002008-04-03T11:49:00.000-04:00Mel, you have this wonderful way of zeroing right ...Mel, you have this wonderful way of zeroing right in on the crux of the matter. I never really "got" the appeal of JLo anyway, and I'm even less inclined to like her after reading that People story -- and you've articulated exactly why. Thanks! (And thanks to the other bloggers, & especially Julie, whose post totally cracked me up!)loribethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09272814565916935113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-48700990731091593792008-04-03T11:14:00.000-04:002008-04-03T11:14:00.000-04:00My issue isn't that J.Lo (by the way, she's a seri...My issue isn't that J.Lo (by the way, she's a serious actress and artist now. She's Jennifer. She doesn't want to be called J.Lo anymore, so of course we should all keep doing it because she's just Jenny From the Block, right?) did or didn't have IVF and did or didn't deny it. My issue with her interview-and yes, I read it-is the thinly veiled background behind it. That OF COURSE she didn't need IVF, she just had to WANT IT that bad. That's my problem. That those who slog through IVF are, somehow, not wanting it enough. We must surely not be that desperate to have children if we don't magically wind up pregnant, right? Right? That's what J.Lo says anyway, so it must be right!<BR/><BR/>* Also, who the hell gives their kids diamond-encrusted rattles? Does she know what puke does to 2 carats? I'm just saying.<BR/><BR/>** That nursery was waaaaaaay child-unfriendly. It had "Mama says 'Don't touch!'" written all over it.<BR/>-HelenTwisted Ovarieshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00517046650604160650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30259745.post-80374272459855699772008-04-03T11:07:00.000-04:002008-04-03T11:07:00.000-04:00Great post!I am with you - it makes me a little up...Great post!I am with you - it makes me a little upset that she knew it was going to happen - magic ovary-ball perhaps? It is like those lovely ladies who call themselves caring friends that tell you to relax and take a vacation! Or to get drunk - b/c that is how it happened for them! Ugh! I told one that I do not make a mature egg on my own and my estrogen never gets above 50 and it needs to be about 250. Also hubby has only 2% morphology making it hard to conceive even when I got get a good egg with like 20 injections a month! After that there was no more advice. And I understand it is her right to keep her method of conception private. I try to use your philosophy about talking about others in life. I don't like gossip but don't feel like I am really talking about someone or gossiping if it was something I would say in a public setting or to that person directly.Kimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00867733939934906090noreply@blogger.com