I've decided to bring the ChickieNob and Wolvog with me to vote even though the last time I brought them to an election site, the Wolvog broke free, ran to the center of the room, lifted his shirt and screamed to the voting masses, "Peoples, these. are. my. niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiipples!"
Voting is interesting for them simply because it involves pushing buttons on a computer. If it's exciting in the checkout at the grocery store, it's certainly exciting when deciding the fate of a nation. But I've been trying to impress on them that it's not just button pushing and fancy computer screens. There are issues at stake and I am beyond undecided at the moment. And beyond my own lack of a decision, there is the problem I bring to the table.
I always back the losing candidate.
Therefore, it stands to reason that whoever I vote for will certainly not be the democratic nominee for President. And that is a huge responsibility to have--do I vote for the one I want, knowing it means without a doubt that they won't win or do I vote for the one I don't want, essentially forcing my favourite candidate into a winning seat? Or will the fates know that I am trying to circumvent my losing streak and punish me accordingly? It is all so hard.
It began with the Weekly Reader election in first grade. My first vote. I went with Jimmy Carter because I existed solely on peanut butter at that time and I had heard my parents say that he was a peanut farmer. We all know how that election went. I was for Dukakis, I was for Paul Tsongas before Clinton, I voted for Gore when Gore won and didn't win, I backed John Kerry. You're seeing a trend, right?
All joking about voting on the annoyance scale aside (except for a certain woman running for Congress in my district. Seriously, lady, you have run such an annoying campaign, calling my house three times a day with prerecorded messages and littering my lawn and mailbox with handouts that you lost the vote I was planning on giving you just because I can't stand the thought of giving a vote to someone who has wasted so much of my time with hanging up on your campaign messages and recycling your flyers. Wait, what am I saying? I will vote for her. I was going to vote my convictions, but instead I'm going to vote my spite. Yeah, you've got my vote--also known as the albatross--around your neck. You're going down!), voting is a huge responsibility--bigger still when your vote means a person will lose instead of win.
And I have to make a decision now because if I waver on Tuesday, if I left my electronic pen hover over a candidate's name for too long, I know the consequences. The good people of Maryland will get a good look at my son's nipples.