I intended to write an amusing recap of my appointment at the clinic. I intended to write the Lost & Found post as usual. I intended to read and return the emails in my inbox. I intended to do a lot of things today.
Instead, I have been digging out of a family crisis that has left me feeling extremely tiny and extremely unsafe. It has made me want to bubble wrap everyone I know and love. It has absolutely sucked. And I can't really say more than that about it except that everyone is okay and no one is hurt. It has eaten up every minute of my day that was not spent catching up on the work I missed yesterday, sitting in the clinic waiting room, or crying in the front seat of the car.
Instead, I give you a post that I wrote and saved prior to having this enormous crisis poured into my lap. It feels very strange. I'm talking about community and all being welcome. All are still welcome; that isn't what I mean when I say it feels strange. Maybe it's the tone? I don't feel light and bubbly right now. I feel like flat champagne. I'm not even champagne. I'm the dregs of coffee at the bottom of the pot that have been on the burner for the past 24 hours.
So, I apologize for the missing Lost & Found--it will be there tomorrow. And I apologize for the unreturned emails. I have to return to work stuff tonight. But I wanted to post this because I intended to post this before the crisis began. And then...well...my world sort of imploded. It is being fixed now, but...you know how taping things back together feels for a bit. Until you forget there was ever a time that there wasn't reinforced tape on the object to begin with...
Old Title: So Close
We are so close to my extremely arbitrary goal of having 100 entries on the Creme de la Creme list. 100 entries isn't even 10% of the blogroll list and the blogroll list is just a small percentage of the actual number of infertility/pregnancy loss/adoption blogs out there. There are probably hundreds that I haven't found yet and, unfortunately, hundreds more that will be started this year (barring, of course, a huge virtual foot coming down to stamp out infertility).
This is the final nudge--hopefully the one to push those on the fence onto the list rather than shutting down your computer. The due date is somewhat as arbitrary as the goal of having 100 entries--if you send in your entry after December 23rd, it will still be on the list--but it is the deadline where I can guarantee that it will be on the list when I put it up rather than being added after the fact.
Ask others to help you pick it, grab a random post from October, or sit quietly with your archives weighing each entry--there are many ways to choose the link you send to the list. Some categories on the blogroll are woefully underrepresented. Where is the gay/lesbian point-of-view? Where are the secondary infertiles or elusively males (I think we only have one male on our list right now; thank G-d for Smarshy)? Check the list to see if your favourite blog is on it (it's in alphabetical order) and if it's not, go leave them a comment reminding them that their voice is important.
All of our voices are important.
Last year, without trying (since no one knew what others sent in), we created the most varied and far-reaching compilation of the infertile experience--from loss to the excitement of seeing two lines, from the bitch sessions about early morning wandings to how one woman knew it was time to step off the infertility roller coaster, from picking up your medications at the pharmacy to a couple wondering if they're making the right choice to start IVF. And I think we can not only do that again, but do it better. Do it bigger, do it even more far-reaching, make sure everyone feels welcome and represented on the list.
I belong to this women's group and the way we start every meeting is we go around the circle and everyone states what has happened in this past month or what is about to happen before the next meeting. And that's sort of how I see this list. It's our welcome table and everyone is sitting around it and we are going around the circle in turn. Everyone tells a single story from this past year. Something they thought or something that happened. It is a way to mark the year, to celebrate us, and even to hand to someone who wants to understand infertility. To turn to your friend and say, "you want to understand what this is like? Go here and read down the list and you'll get a small taste of infertility."
So if you've been wondering whether or not to submit a link, the answer is yes. And if you have already submitted your link, you can still help out by nudging others along (check the list first to see if they're already on it). And if you can't remember the details, check here.
Lastly, I've only found two blogs that have truly "closed down" in the past year. Where the person has clearly stated that they're not going to post anymore even if they're leaving their blog intact. Can you think of others? Have you closed your own? Please let me know so I can add you to the list and honour your blog. These are blogs that have stopped--not ones that have gone password protected or moved locations (unless the new blog is a different blog). Any that you're missing right now?