At first, I wanted to write a post about being thankful for my new Dyson vacuum even if that made me sound awfully shallow. I mean, other people are writing posts about being thankful for their family or their friends or their health--and I am thankful for all of these things. But the Dyson is sticking out in my mind for the moment because it has transformed my life.
While other people covet computers and iPods and cars, I have always coveted good cleaning equipment. I am a fan of the emotional clean--the absolutely-can't-sit-still-and-I-need-to-feel-as-if-something-is-within-
my-control clean. The kind you do during the two week wait. The kind you do when you've received bad news and you don't know what is going to happen next.
We received a check for our anniversary and it was enough money to cover the cost of the vacuum which we purchased with a sale coupon. It was difficult to turn over that sum of cash for a vacuum when we're about turn over an enormous sum of cash in a few weeks to start up treatments again. But the cost of the vacuum is sadly a small drop in the vast ocean of the costs of IVF. Isn't it sick? I spend an evening worrying that the vacuum is too expensive, but I think nothing of injecting several hundred dollars worth of Follistim simply for a chance. Which isn't true at all. I think about the cost of Follistim a lot too.
So I'm thankful for a vacuum that could suck this much junk out of my carpet:
But this vacuum is just a tangible reminder of something larger. As I was stressing about purchasing this enormously expensive vacuum, I called LJ who not only talked me through the purchase, but agreed to come to the store with me and hold my hand. And I know it sounds a little silly to get choked up thinking about this, but how many people can say that they know someone who would dump work for a moment and drive down to the store and help them purchase a vacuum? I'm not just talking about a friend, but a certain type of friend. The kind who is not only good for a post-beta cry, but the kind who will also not laugh at you when you explain how stressed you are about spending that sum of money on a vacuum. Because she understands. Because she has the same stress. And she is there whenever I call. And I hope she knows that I am there for her too.
I am very lucky that I have my stirrup queens in town. I know most people are not that lucky. I know many people in the blogosphere depend on the blogosphere because it is their only outlet and so, on an even larger level, I am thankful for all the DC Bloggers who get together once a month to bitch and cry and celebrate. I am terrified that I am going to inadvertently leave someone out, but LJ (our founder), Leah, Karen, Kristen, Lea Bee, Shelby, In and Out of Luck, Changing Expectations, Sunny, Bean, JJ (honourary member since she has come up before), Deanna, Meghan, DMarie and Flicka (if I forgot anyone, I'm so sorry--I'm making a pumpkin pie at the same time. Heavy cream and pecans may have made the list inadvertently in your place).
And taking it up a level again, I am thankful to the blogosphere. You weren't here the first time we were trying and I can honestly say that while this is stressful, it makes a huge difference to be able to read another person's story. To find someone in a similar situation and hear what they tried. To spend at least one day together each month catching everyone up on your life at the Virtual Lushary. Following people back to their blog and giving support. Taking support when you need it. I am thankful that this technology exists that can bring together people from large cities and people from small towns. That I can chat with someone in Singapore or watch movies made by someone in Australia or email with someone in Massachusetts. It's pretty freakin' amazing when you take a step back and think about it. I really don't know what I would do without all of you on the other side of the computer.
And zooming back in, now that we've panned out to include several thousand people, I am thankful for my siblings who did something that touched my heart beyond words tonight. But that is a story for the next Virtual Lushary.
And zooming closer still, my parents for always having our back--a stirrup queen and sperm palace jester themselves who get so much of it. Even if the technology is different, the emotions are the same.
And zooming to the dots of light closest to my heart: Josh and the ChickieNob and the Wolvog. I am so thankful for you. You are the reason I always want clean floors. I am thankful that you let me nurture you.