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Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

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Friday, October 19, 2007

Friday Blog Roundup

My dad is writing a book. As he finishes pages, he sends them my way and I get to read the story as it unfolds. How cool is that? The story is incredible--erudite science fiction in the vein of a Jasper Fforde. History meets time travel (with rules in place that are incontrovertible). Jazz meets Georgetown. I have a date with the book this weekend--just me and the pages and a white chocolate mocha. I am looking forward to relaxing and reading it more than I can express.

Time travel made me think of superpowers which brings me to my question of the week: if you were a superhero, what would your power be and how would it work?

At first, I thought I would be Fertigirlie, an infertile crusader placing babies in the bellies of all wanting women.

I would fly into fertility clinics, zapping embryo-laden catheters with my superpowers and plumping uterine lining with my x-ray gaze. REs would chuckle as they held up their hands as a sign of defeat. "You don't need me anymore, Mrs. Smith," they would say, motioning to their staff to retreat from the patient so I could do my work. "Fertiegirl is here."

But then I started considering the larger possibilities and finally settled on Communagirl. Because there are families that want to come together via adoption and others that want to come together through step-parenting or co-parenting or other formations. And the power I would really like to have is to bring families together by any means they desire. To speed up adoption paperwork or make fertility treatments a promise rather than a chance. To match donors with a system that protects all parties' hearts and to ensure safe pregnancies that come to term.

And others do not necessarily need help with conception, but could use a magic salve that could bridge differences within family. Antidotes that could salvage damaged friendships. A magic shield that surrounds the person as they enter into an uncomfortable family situation, protecting them from nicked feelings and leaving them with the desire to return to family after the visit.


Oh--and if I can't do that, I would like to be able to fly. Or at least become invisible.

Your turn: what is your power and how would you use it?

Now, the blogs:

Geohde at Mission: Impossible Infertile has a very cool post up right now about cross-pollination. Not of the insect and bird variety, but bloggers pollinating other blogs. Participants will be literally be exchanging and publishing each other's posts, with readers trying to guess the original author. No need for links or clicks in order to be exposed to a new blog--it will be directly on your regularly-read list. Wait--don't take my description of it--go over to Mission: Impossible and read it for yourself. And then join up because it seems just the thing we need to combat the lull that comes after the sugar high of Halloween.

Jenna at Epiblog has a heart-wrench, spine-tingling post this week on the anniversary of her son's death chronicling a visit to a psychic. It is hard to get the words of a psychic out of your head once the predictions are stated. I have only been to a psychic once and the reading both thrilled me and frightened me simultaneously (perhaps that needs to be its own blog post and how my reading related to infertility as well). There is that scene in Big Fish when the boys are looking into the witch's eye (am I remembering this correctly?) to see their future. And I wonder which would be better--to know and prepare yourself or to let it unfold with hope still in your corner (however fleeting)? Regardless, this is a must-read post.

Kir at Kir's Corner has a post about her mother now that she is becoming a mother. Her mother lately has been full of advice, and that advice is spilling into conversations with Mr. Kir too, prompting Kir to ask her, "Mom, you raised me, got a BA, an MA and had an extraordinary career, while having three kids, I watched you do, you made me a strong, capable woman, so why don't you believe that what you instilled in me would come in handy now?" I imagine it is quite difficult to watch your baby girl (or your baby boy) turn into a mother herself and realize your job is done. Well, except it's not done. I think there is an ache when you think your job is complete. But I imagine it is more of a transformation where you need to learn a new set of skills but there is a lot of carry-over from the old job. You may miss the old position, but the new one is pretty exciting too. I know it speaks volumes about my anxiety level but I cry every time I hear Ben Folds sing "Gracie" for his daughter: " One day you're gonna want to go / I hope we taught you everything you need to know." And sometimes Moms just have to shout those last bits of advice, review the major points they hope they made, before they turn from mother to grandmother.

Lastly, a sad but true post from Wordgirl at Blood Signs. She laments that it is just a numbers game. Her thoughts flow: "The magical thinking: Oh, but there was the spotting 9dpiui -- and maybe my hCG's just's happened before -- I've read it. Fucking google. Sad and unable to write much else -- or frankly do much else other than crawl under the covers. I try to tell myself that my happiness and my being are not defined by the ability to have a biological child. I keep trying to tell myself. Where's my equanimity -- the wonderful settled glow yesterday that I felt so sure -- that this would all be okay -- that we will have a child?" It's beautiful writing that rings very true.

Have a wonderful weekend. Wait, before you click away, which superpower do you wish you could master and how/when would you use it? Okay, now you can have a wonderful weekend.


serenity said...

Hrm. I always wanted to be able to read the future so I could tell someone exactly what will happen when. I suppose it's similar to Communagirl but it's more passive - where I can tell someone with a measure of confidence that they will be pregnant on this date or they will adopt on this date, etc.

But more selfishly I'd also really like Jedi mind power. Where I can move stuff and change thoughts and do cool things like that. now THAT would be cool. :)

Tina said...

Hummmm... DH has said that he is jealous of the fact that, technically, I am a mutant already with the MTHFR... I just don't have the added superpower like Storm or Gambit. Just the crappy power of processing Folic Acid poorly...

What would I really like? I kinda like Serenity's idea of the Jedi mind stuff...that way, I can heave stupid people out of my way. ;) And, of course, help those in need. (But, really, to heave stupid people out of the way...hahaha!)

Bean said...

After reading this post my first thought was "wow, I have NO idea." But it just came to me. I'd be "Self-Confidence" girl.

I had the wonderful opportunity yesterday to eat lunch and celebrate three October birthdays (including my own)with four dear friends whom I don't see too often anymore, even though three of them work only 3 floors below me! The fourth friend currently lives in Arizona, but was in town for a few days and her presence at lunch was a surprise for me. I met this woman a little over 9 years ago. We became fast friends. Though I'd known her less than a year, she was my "go to girl" at my wedding. We threw each other wedding and baby showers. But we couldn't be more different. She is 6 ft tall, I'm 5 ft 3. Her hair is usually blond, but sometimes red, and she has bright blue eyes. I'm brown and brown. But by far the biggest difference is our personalities. While we have many of the same interests and enjoy eachother, she is fabulously outgoing and self-confident. I am NOT. Both while in DC and after leaving for first Florida and then Arizona, she has moved from job to job, made friends, started two businesses(with virtually no professional background in what she was doing or in running a business), helped her husband find jobs (completely different industry mind you) with such ease that it staggers my imagination. I walked away from yesterday's lunch wishing I had just a small drop of her self-confidence.

And given why most of us are here, I'll say that this is not irrelevant to infertility. Because who doesn't need a healthy dose of self-confidence when dealing with doctors, nurses, pharmacies, insurance companies, home study agencies, and of course purveyors of assvice.

dmarie said...

I'd like to be able to travel instantly and travel back and forth through time. It's tougher to answer when I'd use it. I'd definitely use the instant travel pretty often. However, going through time may cause some problems so I'm not sure when I'd use it.

Wordgirl said...

It's funny -- my stepson and I JUST had this conversation -- I said I wanted the power to make anyone who was sad feel better -- I actually said this and at first perhaps it was to model empathy for a seven year old boy...but it turned out that it was sort of true. I am already Empatha-girl -- if I could pair the intuition with truly being able to heal the pain -- now that. That would be --as W. would say 'awesome.' He wanted to have the ability to fly AND make things materialize in front of him.

Geohde said...


I'd like to have the ability to get all those boring minor tasks that I need done completed whilst I sleep.

Neatly leaving my awake time free for the more enjoyable stuff, like being as lazy as possible.


I can dream.

K said...

I will probably regret this choice later, but I think I'd be AlternaWorld Girl.

I'd like to be able to travel back in time at the request of people suffering from an overwhelming sense of regret. I'd like to be able create an alternate universe in which whatever they so desperately wish they had done differently was, in fact, done that way and show them the butterfly-effect-esque consequences of that change. If they prefer the alternaworld, they get to keep it; if not, it reverts back and they gain some measure of peace.

I evidently know too many people living beneath a shadow of regret.

Bea said...

Damn! You got in first with the same idea! I was going to say I'd put everyone in charge of their own fertility.


Jess said...

I'd want the superpower to make both people who WANT kids to have them and people who DON'T not to.

Because lives are ruined both ways, it seems.

Grad3 said...

I think that I would like to be Clarity Girl. I could bring clarity to anyone who sought it... help them locate and go down the road that would bring them the most peace.

Or I would like the power to have any food I wanted without having to make it or gain weight from it. And I would eat Chocolate Lasanga (from Olive Garden) everyday :)

jenn said...

hmmm. aside from the obvious flying superpower (which would be fantastic!) I would love to be able to see the future. It's been said a few times before- but it would be a great to see what is in store. I always think that I would feel better if I just knew the timeline. And I think it's a common thing to just want to know, so giving assurance that 'yes- it will happen' would be great.

Of course the converse moments of knowing that the future does NOT hold what the person dreams of would be just awful to have to relate. But every superhero has challenges, right?

Changing Expectations said...

I would be Inner Strength Woman!! Zipping around providing a shoulder where needed and giving people that little bit extra that they need to make it through whatever situation they are in.

Heather said...

While I think it would be great to fly or be invisible or have super strength or do things super fast (can you say house cleaned in two minutes?)...I really think I would pick the ability to heal others. I could go to the children's hospital and heal babies. I could heal those of us who are dealing with infertility issues - even unexplained. I could mend broken legs. It would be awesome.

Elizabeth said...

I think it would be the power to heal sadness. And be invisible and fly of course :-)