Um...so I know last week there was this.
But now this week, there's this.
But wait! They're connected. And I will tell you how.
It's all about community. It's about making connections where there wasn't a connection. It's about pulling together and supporting one another and...
Let me back up for a moment. First and foremost, if you're not listed yet at Shop Mom and Pop AND you have a creative bone in your body, list yourself. It's easy. Send me an email (email@example.com) and I'll send you back some questions so I have enough information to list the business and poof--you're up. I'm going to add this url to my email signature so it keeps going out there as I write emails, but I wanted more people on the list before I sent it out there. It's a train that will keep looping through, but you want a bunch of passengers before you leave the station the first time...know what I mean?
A "business" is however you are funding treatments or adoption: a book (if you're a writer), music (if you're a singer), pottery (if you're an artist), jewelry (if you're a jeweler). It could be a service that is related to IF/pg loss (for instance, you make memory boxes to help someone remember a loss). It could really be...anything. The sky is the limit.
And now the Wish Project. Think of it as Postsecret without the secrets. And without the postcards. It is the same impulse that brought about the wish box still tucked into its little nook on the sidebar. Except that now it is expanded to include not just our little community, but the entire world. Any wish on anything from anywhere. I think it is not only interesting to make connections between mutual wishes (that moment of "I thought I was the only one..."), but there is the chance that someone reading has the power to make your wish come true (not in the god-like sense, but in a human-being-reaching-out-to-another-human-being sense) and beyond the wishes that are within our power to help one another achieve, there is the belief that additional energy added to your own wishes can help them come true. Perhaps not quite supported by scientific evidence, but then how do we explain the change of events once everyone started sending good thoughts to Mary? Hmmm...
So, the Wish Project is open to everyone--far and wide. Not just IF/pg loss related, though, obviously, it is a space to place those wishes too.
Just to explain in brief how it works: each month has an open thread. Leave your wish (or as many wishes as you need) in the comments section (or read more on the sidebar about how to add a wish). I will move it as soon as possible into the body of the post. You can peruse other people's wishes and add your good thoughts by placing them in the comments section of the "good messages" post (below the current post--scroll down). And if you leave a wish, you should probably check the "good messages" post at some point during the month. And...um...if you see a wish that you can make true, then do it. And if you can take a moment during the week to read down the wishes and add your energy to those words...well...all the better.
The distraction of the week... Best mindless book to read when you want to escape any mentioning of IF/loss/pregnancy/babies/parenting. The Barren Bitches Book Tour is ten kinds of fantastic and it has been the most eye-opening experience to read these books with other SQs and SPJs. But sometimes you just want to shut out everything happening in the real world for 10 minutes. So this list covers any genre and the only condition is that there are no plotlines that involve babies, pregnant women, children, loss, or infertility (sometimes, the best chicklit books have a side mentioning of a baby that vomits on someone--I think if it's something in passing, it's okay). If it's part of the plotline--like Little Earthquakes by Jennifer Weiner--don't add it. But if it's a mindless vampire romance or mystery-thriller-medical drama--bring it on.
To make the adding as easy as possible, here's the format:
Title and Author (genre): description in two sentences
Here's my addition:
Debutante Divorcees by Plum Sykes (chicklit): rich chickies in New York play gay divorcee. Prada and parties feature heavily.
It was sooooooooo good. So mindless. I just sent my Lady-When-Waiting Sykes's first book to take with her on a trip.
So go forth and create the greatest list of mindless books of all time. Easy reading for the waiting room, beach reading, relaxation reading. Nothing that will make someone think. I can't promise that there won't be a plotline that will remind you of another stressor in your life, but at least we can aim for mindlessness.
Deb at All Things Deb had a cool idea: "I have been thinking about something for awhile. Especially with the Lost and Found, more and more people are going to know about things. Sometimes, the words have already been said and sometimes there are no words. In another blog circle I have seen something that they call a blogstone. Basically a symbol that says, Hey, I was here and am sending you strength...etc. Their symbol is (o). But I am sure that as a community a symbol could be developed that would signify what the collective "we" would need."
Your thoughts? I think it's a really good idea--a way of all those lurkers to at least leave a link to show their face (or...um...words) and say, "I listened."
Lori at Weebles Wobblog has a really cool series of posts happening right now called Chakra Sundays. Every Sunday, she writes a new post about Chakras and how using this knowledge applies to treatments and adoption. Blockages are due to fear and knowledge is the best combatant for anxiety (unless, I guess, if that knowledge is what is causing the fear). So read along with the series (she covered Root Chakra last week).
Bea at Infertile Fantasies has a fantastic idea for her 50th Good Deed. On November 1, all bloggers are invited to a Girls' Night-In. Instead of going out with your friends, stay in and donate the money you would have spent on dinner, coffee, or a movie (or whatever else you do when you go out--Putt Putt? Do you like how I'm keeping life good and chaste?) to the Cancer Council (which I assume is like the American Cancer Society for Aussies). Bea asks that everyone blog about their evening and send her a link to the post so she can compile a list. I can't think of a better way to get rid of all of that Halloween candy than to sit on the sofa and stuff myself. While donating money. To a very, very good cause. Especially since we just lost a fellow blogger to Hodgkins. I know I will be donating that night in honour of Lisa P.
And now, a little pu-pu platter of some of the cool things I read this week:
Katie at (N0t) Coming to a Uterus Near You has a post that made me smile about walking away from treatments. About walking away from infertility and leaving all of the feelings back in the pit. She writes: "I'm sitting here shaking my head, almost in disbelief. How did I get here? Am I out of the pit of infertility permanently? I was in it for so long; it seemed my destiny, my home. Now I feel as if I am standing on the EDGE of the pit. When did that happen? I don't remember clawing at the walls to get out. I seemed happily unhappy at home. Now, I've caught myself venturing out in the space beyond the pit. Evidently I still come back to the pit, glance in, and realize, hey, I haven't been there in a while. Cool. Then I go back to the world around me." It takes a strong woman to get to 50%, that's all I'm saying.
A at Infertility Just Sucks has a post about coming out to her mother about infertility and her upcoming IUI. It all started with this week's Oprah episode. And the conversation ended with this: "But she told me that it would all work out. She said it with such firmness and finality - just like a mother - that I had no choice but to believe her. One day, in the end, it will work out. We will be happy. No matter the outcome." And you have to trust Mom.
I laughed so hard reading Frank's description of his wife on Gonal-F at Adventures of (In)Fertile Frank that I would have peed in my pants if I didn't have this damn UTI (what? We're going to talk about our vaginas and uteruses and cervical mucous and a girl can't mention her narrow urethra?). Please make sure that all beverages are swallowed before you click over and start reading.
Heather at Production, Not Reproduction also had a very funny post about her son's penchant for the word "no." I loved the whole list, but I especially loved this closing thought: "The fact that saying "no" almost never actually works hasn't slowed him down in the least. Most of the time there wasn't even a question being asked, he just felt like expressing his opinion about the matter at hand." I don't know; it seems worth testing out toddlerisms for an entire day and seeing if anything is different or if life keeps going on as usual.
Lastly, closing with an idea similar to the one expressed by Katie above (do you like the bookending?), Serenity at Serenity Now has a post titled "Finding My Way Out of the Darkness" that I loved. It begins with her friend, the end of her marriage and the fear and grief she is feeling. Her words remind Serenity of how she felt in the middle of treatments. The fear she is still feeling now. It's that movement out of the pit. When you're still close enough to look inside and still scared that you might fall back in. And I'm just sending so much hope to you that the appointment went well.
The one second summary before you click away: Shop Mom or Pop, The Wish Project, add your book distraction, weigh in on Deb's idea, and go read a lot of cool posts.