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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Mother-Talk Book Review: The No-Cry Discipline Solution

Once again, I'm participating in a Mother-Talk book tour, this time for the No-Cry Discipline Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It's a parenting book, therefore, children are mentioned. But it's a great parenting book that is actually helpful so when Mother-Talk decided to review this book, I jumped in to participate.

Elizabeth Pantley, in one word, rocks. She rocks hard-core. My children sleep through the night due to Elizabeth Pantley, so in my eyes, she is a goddess. Before I talk about this current book, let me take you in the way-back machine to a time when my children were still waking up several times a night. We were exhausted, but we never wanted to turn down a chance to give them a bottle because they were so small (even now, they're below the 25th percentile for height and weight). But by the time they were 15 months, we were at our wits end because we were still waking several times a night. We read Weissbluth's book, but it didn't feel right for our particular kids. Our friends all talked about Ferber, but it also didn't sit right with our family. Enter Elizabeth Pantley and the No-Cry Sleep Solution.

I'll admit this here--Pantley's solutions require work. They require a commitment to a philosophy that works if you remain committed to the goal. Sometimes people try something once and say an exasperated, "but it didn't work." And this is one of those times where you need to remain committed to the idea and keep doing it until it works. It may take one try or it may take two weeks. But her solutions actually fix the problem by teaching a new behaviour and this leads to fewer problems down the road. So...in my opinion...it's well-worth the effort.

The No-Cry Discipline Solution is similar in tone to her sleep book. She presents a multitude of possibilities and continuously reminds the reader to choose the ones that fit their parenting style and stick with it. Being consistent and being present is more important than which ideas you choose to take. Simple ideas like giving children a choice whenever possible (even if it's as simple as do you want to wear this pair of navy blue socks or this identical pair of navy blue socks...) goes a long way in getting a child to cooperate down the line.

I think the most important message parents can take away from this book is the idea that children are childish. Adults can't always control their emotions, so how can we expect children to be more in control than adults? That said, the job of the parent is to teach their child how to come to terms with their emotions so they can become a self-sufficient adult. And Pantley gives you the tools--not just to fix problems as they arise, but to create a happy, healthy child so problems don't arise in the first place.

2 comments:

Leah said...

I too love, love, love Elizabeth Pantley. I devoured the No-Cry Sleep Solution when my daughter was little. As you mentioned, it was a lot of work, but paid off in the end.

I will definitely check this book out since said daughter is deeply entrenched in the Terrible Twos and requires lots and lots of discipline! She is very headstrong, so we've had success reading that book Parenting the Strong Willed Child. Mostly it's taught us to pick and choose our battles. I just don't get into World War III about the fact that her blue pants don't match that purple shirt. Wear whatever you want, kid. I'd rather save my battle energy for when she's trying to run across the street without holding my hand.

Having said all of that, my daughter is very high on the drama scale, so the idea of no crying in my house makes me want to laugh so hard that I'd possibly pee myself. But it's sure worth a shot!

Elizabeth Pantley said...

Oh My! I think I'll read your review every morning to start my day on a high note! (I just read it to my mom and she laughed and hugged me!) I am so happy to know that my work helps you in such a wonderful way. I loved your choice example, "These blue socks or THESE blue socks?" That would keep many active children very busy making the distinction and the decision! Thanks again for making me smile.
Hugs,
Elizabeth ~^*