The Daily News

LFCA Latest Issue: Friday, September 25, 2009.

Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

My Status: Fed Josh's almonds to the squirrels. They needed them very badly.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Any Time Is a Good Time to Tie One On...

Updated at the bottom of the post:

...especially when the drinks are imaginary. Imaginary drinks mean that you don't have to worry about where you are in your cycle. Even if you get stinkin' drunk, there's no hangover. And, of course, you're drinking in a place where everyone knows your name.

In honour of summer and this blogoversary celebration, I've moved the imaginary bar to an equally imaginary, tropical locale. Imagine, if you will, a smooth mahogany bar counter that a few feet off the shore surrounded by floating lounge chairs. The water is perfectly clear and slightly blue. Behind you is a wide expanse of pristine white sand. At the bar is anything you forgot since you didn't know you were going on an imaginary journey--a good book to read, a trashy magazine to thumb through, an iPod loaded with your favourite music, a bottle of suntan lotion (even at an imaginary bar, you can't be too careful about the harmful effects of UV rays). You need to wade out to get to the bar, but the water is the perfect temperature. You sink down on one of the floating lounge chairs and gently bob in the water while you listen to everyone else tell you what has happened to them since the last open bar (either cycle-wise or non-IF related) and sip a huge drink festooned with a paper umbrella.

This scenario could help me to "just relax"...know what I mean?

You get so tired that you barely even notice that Melissa changed the bar icon both on her side bar and above. But you don't really trouble yourself with that because it's a long story that will become clear a few weeks from now when Melissa irons out a few things. Anyway, you're too relaxed and too drunk to care that much...

As always, it has been a little over a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I'll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. Maybe Fertility Friend has finally granted you a coverline after many anovulatory cycles. Or maybe your inlaws are coming right at the time of retrieval. Or maybe you simply need to have a good cry because you spent the whole day with your niece or nephew and while you love them so much, you want a child too. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person's blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

It's also a perfect time to leave some comments for the Commentathon. Don't forget to keep track of how many comments you leave or return. And when you're finished reading blogs for the day, send me a number so I can add it to the master list. And while you're checking out blogs, you can even write an ode and send it to me for Secret Ode Day since I need them by the 20th in order to compile and post the list this week...

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while, sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don't have a blog--gasp!--you can always leave an email address if you're looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you're a regular at the bar, I'll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I'm glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I'm talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation.

Happy drinking and relaxing.

Update: we close the night (okay, it's 11 p.m., but that's the night for me) with 563 comments total. And that's with only a 1/4th or so of people turning in their daily comments. Even if you don't email in a number nightly, keep track over the week and mail in a single number at the end.

Oh, and the pledge was just to get an idea of a goal. Don't let your number limit you. If you go way over your initial goal, even better. Or, if you're like Samantha and you go over your weekly goal on the first day, just set a new number for yourself!

I think the thing I was most excited to see were people finding new blogs. And connecting to a new story. I love the Lushary.


Caro said...

Mines a large strawberry daiquiri. I've got my period and my in-laws visiting and doling out assvice.

Cece said...

Damn - mine is freaking Grain Alcohol. I'm miserable and bitchy, my husband is covered in hives, I'm ovulating, and my stupid insurance still isn't approved and I'm supposed to be starting IVF next cycle.

F*@k infertility.

May said...

I've just spent the weekend lying in bed clutching at my lower abdomen and whimpering. Why the heck are my so-called periods so painful these days? Is it, as my mother once remarked 'all in my mind' because I am very stressed out? Or are monsters of the deep gnawing on my vitals after all?

Anyway, not much is happening Chez May, still, because the waiting lists for minor surgery in Britain are not only appallingly long, but appallingly vague.

I would like a very large glass of Pimms. Do they have Pimms the other side of the Atlantic? If not, no worries, I can bring my own.

Jackie said...

I'd love a pina colada. The perfect summertime drink, plus it tastes so juicy, it's a pleasant thought at 10 AM.
I am 3.5 weeks post-op for laparoscopy where my RE detected and treated low stage III endometriosis. No more unexplained IF-we are firmly female factor now. I am pretty relieved to finally have a diagnosis and feeling unusually optimistic about our prospects. Most of the time.
We have been on a break since the surgery and what a feeling to just be in the present. No stimming, no tww, no failure. Just listening to my body and let it do its own thing.
Wow, I sucked that pina colada down fast! May I have another?

Anonymous said...

I got smashed in real life Fri night after the worst doctors appt ever on Thurs...lets just say I had to leave work Thurs when I got back becuase I.couldnt.stop.cyring

I might as well jump back on the horse - get me the strongest drink you have - and hey how about a cigarette too - since it doesnt matter what I put in my body.....

Bean said...

Wow -- the locale sounds so relaxing who needs a drink! But oh what the heck, how about a nice margarita -- on the rocks I think.
Saturday was transfer day and now I've got to make it through the 2ww. I'm pessimistic and hopeful all at the same time--feeling a bit schizo. Better make it two!

Cathy said...

I'll take a very large iced tea. No alcohol, just some virtual caffeine.

It's been awhile since I've stopped by. In the meantime we took the IVF cycle that just barely squeaked past cancellation on transfer day due to poor embryo growth and turned it into something great.

And then the "natural" suppression of the endo stopped working, and no one can tell me what that means for the health of anyone involved. Will I lose everything, or just my colon and reproductive organs after it's allowed to grow unchecked for 6 months? Since there was no "imminent" threat, I get to fester in the knowledge until mid-week when they can finally get me in to talk about it.

decemberbaby said...

It's fake alcohol, right? If it is, I'll have a frozen peach bellini. Otherwise... cranberry juice.

I'm at 10w5d pregnant, and people are starting to talk like I'm going to get a baby out of this. It's weird and surreal and I'm clearly in denial... so booze me up. Hopefully I can sail through the next two weeks.

Lots of love to everyone who is cycling, dealing with AF, waiting, waiting, waiting... lots of love to all of you.

Somewhat Ordinary said...

A pina colada sounds wonderful, but make mine virgin. I am 2dpDIUI and in 2 1/2 years I don't think I've been so anxious over a 2ww! I don't know how I'm going to make it to July 2!

sharah said...

I'm thinking a strawberry daiquiri would be good in a floating virtual bar, and I could use one this morning (work's been tough already). We're in a break cycle because I have a work trip scheduled for the same time as ovulation, and I'm enjoying having some of the pressure off of me. I'm actually (gasp!) feeling pretty happy and mellow these days, despite the lack of progress on the baby-making front.

Kim said...

I'm buying everyone a round! The money is fake, too, right? I'll take a margarita (the bigger the better).
Bad day at the doctors so throw in a shot or three.
I like this bar!

Tina said...

Sorry, gotta be a virgin drink this time!

My body decided to do what it is SUPPOSED to do this month and I actually ovulated on my own! So, I am surpisingly in the 2WW! I will be testing tomorrow and every other day after that if it comes up negative - I have to change my thyroid med dosage as soon as a confirmed PG comes along, so I am testing early.

Right now, I am trying to recover from Strep...along with my DS. Shessh! I just got over a sinus/double ear infection a few weeks ago! Any ideas on how to keep my house more disinfected than it already is???

Chris said...

A frozen peach bellini sounds fantastic! It's about one million degrees here - tasty + refreshing = heaven.

The last time we all hung out I was very excited for our visit with a new IVF clinic the following day. Little did I know that I was in fact pregnant already.

I'm 9w4d right now and not feeling very confident. My P4 has dropped pretty suddenly and every "symptom" I've had has vanished. Aside from some cramping that for once in my life I'm hoping is actually gas. I'm heading in for an ultrasound on Thursday and hoping for the best!

In the meantime, relaxing in a floating lounge chair with a frozen girly drink surrounded by people who aren't poking fun of my in a bathing suit sounds exactly like what I need!

Kate said...

G&T for me, thanks. Just waiting to go on vacation, but not before I go in for some bloodwork. I'm 5 dpo and my temp was only 97.87 this morning. Yep - issues!!

Gil said...

I'm looking for a pitcher of Long Island Iced Tea. DIUI #4 is a failure and I'm feeling like one too.

I need a consult with my RE to satisfy my mind about nagging questions before I do anything else, so I might just sit out a month this time. Good reason to sit around and get drunk isn't it? I think so. Good enough for me anyway.

I'm with cece. F*@K infertily.

serenity said...

I'll take a mojito in one of the largest glasses you have please.

Last IVF cycle for a long time. Starting Lupron tonight. Pretty sure it isn't going to work.

Meanwhile my SIL will be bringing home her new baby to a house in the next town over from us (yes, they just put an offer on a house 15 minutes from us). And I spent an entire weekend with her, listening as she said things like "I'm not ready for the Bean to get here. I wish I had more time. I don't feel ready." Et cetera.

*sighs and drains glass* Thanks.

At this point, I'm just ready to get this cycle over with so we can move onto something DIFFERENT. ART and infertility has really sucked a lot out of me.

Jess said...

Surprise...Jessica wants a Mai Tai.


I've got a huge headache and I feel MAJORLY bitchy. Between the spotting yesterday and the unhelpful OB today and the worry over what the spotting MEANS for the baby, I'm in a regular BAD MOOD.

Plus, it's VBS week and I've left Mom alone in our class today because of the spotting...and I dont' know what to do about the rest of the week.

Uuuugh. If only I could REALLY have a drink. (Wait, universe, I don't want to have a drink THAT BAD. I want to keep this baby instead.)

chicklet said...

Kim's my new best friend - who doesn't love a girl who buys a round! But I match that round with a round of my own, but it's my call and you're all having tequila shots with me... cuz I said so. And you all know better than to argue with an infertile who's just started cycling again!

Samantha said...

I love the new Lushery, and the price is certainly right! I'll take a mojito, nice a refreshing for a hot day.

I'll be finishing up prov.era in a couple of days in the hopes of starting my next FET cycle. We have seven blasts ready and waiting from my last IVF cycle, so I hope to have a transfer of two of them in early July.

Shelby said...

Tipsy already! Thanks for the shot Chicklet- it's been ages!

Now I'll have a very large margarita, on the rocks with salt please. I've been doing stims for a week now, and am ripe with bitchiness. AND I woke up with a UTI this morning. Not a good day. I'm excited about the rest of the cycle, yet terrified at the same time.

I think I'll go for a swim after that margarita.

FattyPants said...

I need some sake please. Warm not chilled. A few bottles should kill my nerves. My first IUI is at 6:45 tomorrow morning and my nerves are killing me.

amy said...

I'll take a frozen margarita....and keep 'em coming, bartender!!!

We just started IUI #2 with injects....IUI #4 overall. RE isn't very hopefully that it will work but insurance requires 3 IUIs with injects before we can do IVF. So the wait is on!!!

I also started grad school last was difficult to take notes while the voice in my head kept saying, "Holy crap. Why the hell are you doing this?"

Plus, I need some extra relaxation/alcohol due to the fact that I spent 3 days at cheerleading camp with 17 7th grade girls.


BestLight said...

Make mine a Gin & Tonic. A double.

I'm hosting an education conference with 300 participants and 13 presenters. Some with altitude sickness, unpaid registrations, food allergies, bad knees, and other whines.

And all I really want to do is meet my Commentathon commitment.

Poor me.

Hey, Amy. Your blog name looked like "Dancing Within Fertility" to me. Nice twist.


PCOSMama said...

I'd love a nice cold rum cream please, over ice.

I am very happy to relax at the beach bar for a while. We've been dying to get back to Jamaica since DD was born, but we'll still be waiting a few more years with the new one coming. Today I'm 14weeks and feeling fairly confident for once. Been feeling some small flutters that just might be the jellybean letting me know s/he is okay. Supposedly it's too early to feel it, but I'm pretty sure that's what it is.

Now if only I can make it another month to find out if it's a boy or a girl! I'm dying to know!

Best wishes to everyone. I know this whole journey sucks, but the end result is SO worth it!

Amy, I wanted to let you know about my success story. I don't know your specific IF cause, but we finally got pregnant this time around on our 4th IUI, but the 3rd IUI with injectibles. None of us (RE included) were expecting it to work by that point, but we had to try one more time before we could do IVF. I was already on the super-long IVF waiting list when we got our BFP. Hopefully the same sort of miracle will happen to you! I just wanted to give you a little bit of hope!

Thanks for the drink! I love this virtual bar!

Elizabeth said...

Wow - do we have to leave? :-)
I'm coming to terms with DIY for the next three months, while still hypervigilant in the current 2ww. I tell myself not to hope but can't help it.

Since it's virtual, and virtually tropical, I'd love a glass of icy-cold fruity blush wine!

Belly Laughs said...

Champagne please and thanks for inviting us over.

First stims check for IVF #3 is tomorrow and a trip to France is scheduled for less than 11 days from now (crazy, I know). Hoping my body is moving quickly (but not too fast) so that retrieval and transfer can happen before my flight...yikes! Here's hoping for a relaxing 2WW in Europe!

Love some more champagne...thanks.

ms. c said...

Did someone say frozen peach belini? OMG, I think I'll take 3! That just sounds so yummy!

Currently on cd7 of our 5th injectible (3rd IUI) cycle. I don't like that I am getting good at doing this. Hopefully this one's the charm, you know?!

To everyone, wherever you are in your journey, I wish you luck and peace.

Roy said...

Next round is on me, ladies! Make mine a giant Long Island.

R was in town for another weekend, oh joy of joys. This time he really backed off, though, let me have my space, went out with his own friends, stayed away from MY Friday night bar. We did hang out for most of the day on Sunday, but it was completely on my terms and he let me know that.

This 1 year TTC break is going fast now that it's also a temporary marital break. So much drama, but Little H is starting to handle things much better and the rumor mill is starting to quiet down. After 6 weeks of being accused of sleeping with every guy I talked to, it is so nice to not have everybody talking about who I dropped my pants for (the truth being NOBODY, of course).

Anyway, I finally got some sort of job, nanny for a 7 month old baby boy. I love him, he's an angel. And my heart doesn't break every time I see him. I'm doing good.

Screw it, Mel, another round for everybody, I'm feeling very generous today. Things are finally going my way and I'm feeling great! I even went back public with my blog, I need the support and password-protected wasn't gonna give me that. Thanks everybody for putting up with my mood swings and sticking by me, it means a lot.

ultimatejourney said...

Wow, it's been over a month already? Time flies...

I haven't had a drink in a couple weeks because I'm trying a alcohol-free, caffeine-free cycle for my first dIUI cycle. But I'll take a strong Long Island Iced Tea because it's virtual :)

My follies are growing well, and I'm expecting to trigger tomorrow and have my first IUI on Thursday!

Jenna said...

I think I'd be game for a keg stand, but if I have to be a lady, I'll take a Malibu and Coke with lime.

I'm waiting... waiting for $ to do our 5th IVF cycle, waiting to find a birthmother who thinks I'm worthy of her unborn baby, waiting as I have been for the past 2 decades for my body to ovulate when it never has before.... ughhh So suffice it to say, I'll be here a while and will enjoy the company.

Aurelia said...

I can't read all of these comments right this second, but I just wanted to say that I'm laughing at you Mel because I just tried to print out the list for the commentathon so I could make sure I visited a bunch...and your sidebar is so long, I just printed 22 FREAKIN' PAGES honey!!

Between the drawings and the writings and the cartoons, I'm amazed you read these all....I'm in awe, truly...have a drink on me!

Chili said...

I'll take a Whiskey. Straight up.

CD78 today. 3 weeks past a round of Prometrium, which clearly didn't work. Now I'm sick with a head cold/sinus infection.

It's been quite the week actually, because when I spiked a fever on Thursday night, I had to go to emergency, which resulted in me being quarantined because I was exposed to measles a couple of weeks ago. I don't have measles, but they had to take precautions just in case.

I can't wait for this cycle and this sickness to be over!

Bobby and Ivy said...

Hand me a Cosmo!

My miracle is now 8 weeks old. Got my period this morning (I's weird.) And like my old infertile self, am wondering if I'll ever get pregnant again. Strange how screwed up we can get.

A.M.S. said...

Hmmm, I think a nice margarita on the rocks with salt sounds delightful, then I'm going over there to get Marco the Pool Boy to make sure I got sunscreen on all the right spots. : )

I'm still in limbo here in the off-cycle we took because we couldn't be arsed to figure out if we had the finances to do our FET so soon after the IVF. Today is day 5 of the provera, so I figure we'll be good to go next week sometime. Of course, good to go means starting bcps because I was even too freakin' lazy to go ahead and start those to get a leg up on the schedule. Hmmm, starting to sound like there was some avoidance going on, doesn't it? [insert eye roll here].

So, in the meantime, I'm going to drink myself silly, flirt with the Pool Boy, and soak up these virtual rays. Thanks Mel!

Chris said...

I think I'll have a Hansen's Root Beer since that has been my biggest treat since giving up caffeine, artificial sweetners, and alcohol. I'm currently on cycle day 12, almost 6 weeks past my D&C which happened at 10 weeks. Hoping for good things these next few months as I pursue acupuncture and healthy living instead of IVF.

Andria and Co. said...

Argh. Make mine a amaretto sour.

20 weeks, and I still can't shake off the feeling that I will lose this baby too. Three miscarriages last year, and lost this baby's twin in March. I thought that I would be relieved when I got past the 12 week mark. Now, I am waiting for viability. Truth is, I don't think I will stop fearing the worst until the baby is out of this poisonous body of mine. I just want to be able to enjoy my pregnancy- and stop preparing myself for the worst.

es said...

Since this is virtual... I'll go with a large glass of red wine.

I am blessed to be 8 weeks pregnant after IVF/ ICSI- with twins! (I still tear up in happiness, just typing that).

So far, so good (I don't want to jinx myself, but...)- I've been feeling pretty good, minimal naseua, and we were lucky enough to hear the two heartbeats last week.

There are some moments that I am so overcome with joy that this is all happening- and other moments that I am so overcome with fear, over what can happen. I am praying that the next 32 weeks proceed quickly and healthily.

Zee said...

Just line up the shots, Mel. It doesn't matter of what, just keep 'em coming!

I'm just coming off what I suspect was a chemical pregnancy. I also just discovered that, apart from the high FSH, I also have markers for MTHFR and Factor V. And, as if that wasn't enough for one month, my officemate--who is the last person I know IRL who wants kids and isn't either pregnant or has them already--just started down reg for her IVF cycle. Since I'm a Pregnancy Fairy, it goes without saying that in no time flat I'll be trapped in this office with her growing belly...


I've been trying to be all positive and "The Secret" about all this, but sometimes (like today) I have a hard time silencing the howling in my head when I think about being the only one I know without a baby. I'll probably be okay tomorrow, but today I intend to get hopelessly, cluelessly (if only virtually) drunk.

Kami said...

No drinks for me please, I just OD'ed on peanut butter brittle. Actually, a glass of iced tea sounds nice.

I am coping with the idea of DE after too many IUI's, 4 IVF's, 1 infant death, 2 miscarriages and 1 chemical. The thing that is triggering me today is that our initial diagnosis was MFI but it took me two years after the diagnosis to get to an RE because I was afraid of the lack of control (and because we got pg on our second IUI and almost had a viable baby - it was easy to pretend it would work for us again)

Now it is MY genes on the chopping block. Does that seem right to you? My wonderful DH offered to use DS as well just to be fair. I won't accept his offer, but it was nice to hear.

I can say that I am thankful for DH and wouldn't trade him for anything - not even a genetic baby. But why couldn't I have had both? sigh

Changing Expectations said...

Gray Goose and Vodka please. I love this place! I am thinking about a close friend today who is having a rough time. Let's all toast to her and her strength and stamina.

Sunny said...

Pissers! That is my new word for the day! I always miss out on all the fine!

Well I get to spend my first week off for summer helping my mom with my little nephew. Ummmm this might be a hard one. I am the oldest. I wanted to have the first grandkid. Yep selfish me! So I am feeling a little sorry for myself.

My drink is raspberry vodka and lemonade. Let's just make it two since I am so late! I plan to stay awhile!

Karaoke Diva said...

I'll take a double shot of tequila, with the handicap because I love tequila, but I'm a wuss. It's another BFN this month, which means next month is another month full of drugs, tests, procedures and several dates with the Wand-a-Vag. I am SO tired of this and I'm wondering how much longer I can hold out. So pour me another, Mel, and maybe eventually I can turn off my brain.

Carla said...

Oh my, anything tropical would be lovely. My 2ww is almost over, after another IUI on June 7, my beta is the day after tomorrow. No intuition one way or another yet. No AF symptoms, but that could be because of the progesterone. Mel, the bar you described sounds exactly like a little place on Jost Van Dyke in the British Virgin Islands. What I wouldn't give to be there now, floating peacefully in that warm water!

Rebecca said...

Bloody thing, lost my comment.

Basically - life's okay, we're making plans, if Baby comes along Baby joins in with plans, not putting life on hold, Tia Maria and coke, and get one for yourself, thanks.

Nichole said...

Thank you so much for the commentathon. It has been so wonderful finding new blogs (I have made some new myspace friends as well)

megan said...

i know i've missed last call, but what about if i bring my own bottle?? sorry i missed all of you. i'll have to scroll through and go have some visits of my own.

Paula said...

Has it really been so long since I have been around the virtual bar?

Well, I'll go non-alcoholic since I am cycling. How about a root beer float? First cycle since the miscarriage in May. (Yes, Mel my wish came true for that BFP but I should have wished for more) I had a D&C at 10.5 weeks. I am excitied and scared all at the same time. Plus I am convinced that the first cycle after a miscarriage can't work so I have to get this one out of the way. . .

TeamWinks said...

Sorry for straggling in behind. I'll take anything that has some caffeine in it please. Loads of it, if you don't mind.

We're starting to realize that our situation is real. We are truly going to adopt the little man that is residing (and ruling) our household.

I'm still completely surprised, considering we were 100% committed to our ttc on our own after our lap. Next thing I know, the phone rings with a social worker with a 5 week old. "Would you like him?" she asks. Ummm, hell yeah! So, my life is still all turned upside down, but I don't mind in the least.

Thanks for the caffeine Mel!

Pamela Jeanne said...

Just arrived a few hours ago back in California via Portland, Oregon from two days in NY for a business conference where I participated in a panel and related networking. That whirlwird trip came on top of eight days of hospital visits and doctor monitoring, a birthday and Father's Day in Detroit with my parents. I left them safely back in their routine, but I'm exhausted emotionally, jet lagged and spaced out from nearly 12 hours in transit -- I'll take whatever you can throw at me ... an IV line of mixed drinks perhaps?? Tomorrow I'm back in the office and face a pile of work that's been simmering on the back burner during my absence. Serenity now!!!

Sami said...

Since this is virtual - sangria ;) I'm trying not to drop kick my in laws - why do they think it's all about them? Wouldn't it be nice if they lived in reality rather than an alternate reality? I spent the weekend with them and my mil said enough snotty things about where we registered or didn't that I finally had enough. If it's not one thing it's 10 other things that I apparently am not doing right - of course she does it so it sounds so "sweet" and "innocent" until you think about the comment then you're like witch! Thanks for listening - I'll take another :)