I mean, it's now almost a year old.
And I know that everyone's blog turns a year old at some point. I know that many people have blogs that are two, three, or even four. But almost 500 posts in a first year feels like it's cause for celebration.
Um...will y'all come to my blogaversary party? We can't really have drinking games and cake, but we can have a week of festivities (and yes, I'm one of those people who take a birthweek rather than a simple birthday). I mean, I will have a cake here, but one of the ideas I had was The Great Cake Day where everyone treats themselves either to a homemade cake or a decadent dessert on the same day and takes a photo for their blog and posts the recipe if they make the cake themselves (and I want J to teach me how she made the sushi cake). And even more fun, it would be a great day for bloggers in the same city to get together and share cakes.
Another idea I had to commemorate the week was a Commentathon. Sort of like the MS Read-a-thon you did in elementary school where you frantically read in order to beat your classmates (I mean...raised money to combat MS), except people would pledge you to comment on blogs. I haven't gotten this entire idea figured out, but it definitely involves a lot of commenting and a lot of reading and a lot of loving crossing the community in a single week.
Why do I deserve a week of festivities when my blog is no more special than anyone else's blog? Because I'm asking for it. It's not that I'm more deserving--it's just that I have the chutzpah to ask. And the other reason is that while my blog is my own thoughts and feelings, I have always seen it more as a public space--a public living room sans crap bucket or a bar that serves virtual drinks. So it's really a celebration of all of us--an entire community of men and women who are bonded together by a simple pomegranate-coloured thread.
What do you think? Will you eat cake and comment and join in whatever hairbrained activities I think up for this week-long celebration? Consider this a pre-party RSVP to find out if anyone would even be willing to eat cake. Online. At the same time. Before I spend more time coming up with ideas of how we can virtually come together for a week-long love fest.
So...now back to your regularly scheduled round-up:
Julie at A Little Pregnant had a wonderful post this week called "Worth It" where she muses about the idea of stopping the process of adding to her family. When she talks about how enticing it is to simply stop, people assume she means that she is seeing the benefits to being done with babyhood--a sweet time, but definitely a hard time. But it isn't that. It's the idea of being finished with trying to conceive--the roller coaster of emotions and the difficult decisions. For those who haven't had trouble conceiving, they overlook the stress of conception and only consider the diapers and bottles and cracked nipples and sleeplessness. But for those who need to clear the hurdle of conception or carrying first? It's a minefield that few have the tenacity to walk across again and again. And yet, when you know what you'll miss by not walking through that minefield to the other side? It is enough to break your heart as you stand in place. Sending good thoughts to you as you suss this out.
Asheggy at The Spirit of Magnolia had a post this week about letting go of a dream. Even when you are 1000 kinds of excited to adopt, there still is a mourning process that takes place as you shut the book on pregnancy. As a step in that mourning process, Asheggy placed her fertility monitor for sale on Ebay. And felt liberated by having this reminder out of her house. Until...she went to the hospital to visit a friend who just gave birth and the wave of nevers toppled over her: "As I looked at “R” I just couldn’t stand the fact that 'THAT WOULD NEVER BE ME!' I would never carry a baby to term. I would never be in a maternity ward delivering a baby. I would never be blessed with a labor/delivery experience." It is a very moving post.
Peep at Conflicted is moving onto her first egg donor cycle. In a post this week, she has a paragraph that moved me beyond belief: "Anyway, we are moving on to a donor egg. I am excited about it. Maybe I am in denial but I think I have had long enough to roll it over in my mind and now I am ok with it. I told my husband the other day that one day this precious little girl (?) is going to walk up to us and say mommy, daddy ...something cute... and we are going to be glad my eggs sucked because we wouldn't have THIS one! I know it's corny and way too positive but that is where I am at now and I have to do what it takes to be at peace with not having a genetic child." I love that idea that if all the other cycles had worked, you wouldn't have that child (either now or in the future). Okay, so I wish these cycles would work, but it's also a gorgeous thought.
Jay at Making Cakes the Hard Way has this melancholy little post this week that I loved. It starts with a description of what so many of us feel at some point or another on this journey: "At the risk of sounding like I’m having a mid-life crisis (I’m not, but that would probably be easier to define), at the moment I feel like I’m stuck in a strange sort of existential limbo. Neither here nor there; not finished with doing something, but not started with the next thing either; not really anywhere solid, safe nor secure." The entry then continues into a brilliant analogy between trying to conceive and moving to a new house. And you need to read the whole thing to get it, but I promise that you're going to be nodding along and saying, "so true."
Lastly, in a blogosphere that is known for desiring a positive, Adrienne at Max's Mommy explains why a negative can sometimes be a good thing. It's a thought that has gone through the pregnancy loss journals from time to time (Tina recently had a similar thought on the Waiting Blilt). But it's a beautiful post about answered prayers that keep a woman from going through another loss. It always moves me when I read something that expands my understanding of life and death and the whispered prayers that fall in between.
So there were three big winners of last week's guessing game. Somewhat Ordinary, Bea and Karen each got four out of five correct. So you have won this nifty sidebar icon for your blog as well as bragging rights until the next Guess-That-Blogger Roundup. And everyone else in the roundup should grab the roundup icon to add to your post as well. If you want it. No pressure.
Your tasks in this order:
1. Send a pre-RSVP whether you would participate in a week of blogoversary festivities if I came up with a week of activities.
2. Read these incredible blog posts above and leave the author a comment.
3. If you live in the U.S., have a wonderful holiday weekend.