The Daily News

LFCA Latest Issue: Friday, September 25, 2009.

Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

My Status: Fed Josh's almonds to the squirrels. They needed them very badly.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

The Second Blilt

There has been a trickling of squares coming in for the second blilt--or virtual blog quilt. But I just learned how to add more colours to the colour palette on Microsoft Paint. Making for extremely beautiful orange squares (have you ever noticed that I have nothing orange on the blog even though it's my favourite colour? Didn't know how to add colours until now. You can call me a loser at any point if you must).

Beyond that, the blilts make for an excellent drinking game for bloggers who all live in the same city. You can get together and try to guess the owner of the quote before you click on the square. If you get it right, everyone else drinks a shot. If you get it wrong, you drink the shot. 60 squares or more could make that game much more interesting, n'est-ce pas?

So send a square? If not to describe your own waiting then at least to make another blogger stinkin' drunk. Imagine the love sent out via drunk blogging.

So, the theme this time is waiting. Sometimes it feels like this isn't really "making" a baby or "becoming" a parent or any other active verb. It's the inverse of active. It's a huge waiting game. You wait to cycle, you wait to have your beta, you wait to be chosen for adoption. And everyone gets through that wait with different emotions and thoughts.

For this next blilt, add to this thought in anywhere from 1--15 words: "During the wait..." (you don't need to add those words to your sentence, but simply use them as a kick-off point). And here is one additional step--state which type of wait you're writing about in your square. Whether it's waiting to cycle, waiting to know, waiting to get in with the RE (any form of waiting). I may try to coordinate the "fabric" with the type of waiting. And it would help me tremendously to enter them quickly if everyone used this format:

Words for the quilt
Type of waiting
Url of the blog (or let me know if you don't want your words linked anywhere)
Any additional thoughts for the Blilt Unraveled entry

You can take this square in any direction--what you think, feel, or do during that time period. What makes it hard. What makes it the only time in your cycle where you relax. What makes it the time you feel the most hope or the most despair. Anything you think sums up your own experience with waiting.

Send in your words by 11 p.m. on April 23rd (Monday), though, as always, the blilt is never closed. I will keep adding to them as new squares are sent. Last time, we had 58 squares when I first posted the first blilt (since then, more have been added). I'd love to pass that amount and get a square from every infertility or pregnancy loss blog.

Oh...and if you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, here is the explanation of the Blilt Project.


Elizabeth said...

I count days and imagine possible futures.

Waiting to know (2ww)

Unravelled: I count days, recount days, dpo, days until I can poas, calculate if pg when I would be due, calculate if not pg every step of the next cycle. I rehearse Plan A, Plan B, Plan C of possible scenarios. I think about Schrodinger's Cat.

Chris said...

I analyze and reanalyze every cycle I have record of and compare every alleged symptom.

Waiting to know

I can spend an entire workday staring at my charts and notes from previous cycles. It's a ridiculous waste of time. My rational side is perfectly aware of how CRAZY I'm behaving but by 9DPO even my rational side has given in.

Piccinigirl said...

finally I did something on time..aren't you proud of me. Yeah, me neither :)

I liked my answer to this one, and just because I always want to one of the crowd, I am currently still waiting on AF. Wish she would get her bony ass here already. :)

TeamWinks said...

Ha! Now that's funny!

You know, I've never met anybody with orange as their favorite color.

Southern Comfortable said...

I try to find joy despite the fear and longing.

Waiting to become a parent.

I've been realizing more and more lately that we're in this for the long haul. I thought at first that we might get pregnant quickly with treatment, but now we're on our fifth medicated cycle. I'm trying to take control of my life in other ways and trying not to let infertility rule me. I've realized that I don't want to look back on years of my life and realize that I was unhappy all the time due to our struggles. There are times I will be sad, yes, but I want there to be more times that I feel peace and joy.

Shelby said...

I do as much research as humanly possible.

Waiting for ansers.

Unravelled: I do research for a living, so it's so hard not to go crazy with it now. Any papers that may have relevent info are on my desk, websites are bookmarked, and books are bought/borrowed. I read every minute I have time. When I'm not reading, I sit and knit- at least I'm creating something that way.

Shelby said...

Duh- I spelled "answers" wrong. Looks like I need some coffee.

Erin said...

I simultaneously ignore and obsess over everything my body tells me.

During the 2WW

I love the Blilts! Thanks!

Summer said...

During the wait… the more I think about what I’m waiting for, the longer the wait stretches on.

Waiting to start.

Cathy said...

I don't allow myself to have hope.

Waiting to know

Everytime I have allowed myself to hope for something to go well, it crashes and burns. Surely this surgery will be the cure. Surely it's just a minor setback. Everything has gone so well this cycle, maybe just maybe this is the time! It seems that optimism only breeds disappointment, while pessimism .. well, I still wind up disappointed, but it's a shorter trip.

Michell said...

Wasting time and wasting eggs.

Waiting to start

I feel like I'm wasting so much time just waiting to get started. I don't know if I'm what would be considered IF but do know that I have low progesterone or borderline ovulation so I am going to be using clomid. It drives me crazy waiting because what if it takes a long time and I'm already almost 37. What if Clomid doesn't work and I have to move on to something else, then what.

Sunny said...

I still stand by my, Drinking in front of my pregnant friends because I can.

In fact I did that tonight. It still sucked but it did help just a tad. She was very jealous. HA!

xavier2001 said...

Waiting to know:

I feel helpless, there is nothing else I can do but second guess myself and pray that there is still hope. It is the worst part of the entire process, moreso than the shots and vaginal u/s and even surgery.

Anonymous said...

Words: I become psychotic

Type: Waiting to know


Unraveled: I fully resign myself to IVF psychosis from ER to beta. So let's see... characteristics of a psychotic person... 1) loss of contact with reality (like thinking i am rational? check) 2) personality changes (check, check!!) 3) disorganized thinking (check) 4) delusional thinking (ooo, like thinking my ferts will actually become viable blasts? check). I think the only one i am missing is hallucinations...I do believe I hear dh yelling "check" from the other room :)

thanks for doing this!

Zee said...

Cultivate hope without expectation.

Unravelled: After the last time I thought I was pregnant and was subsequently stunned by the negative beta, I decided to try to hope, but not give in to expectation--even when all the symptoms are there and it would be so easy to believe. I'm still not ready to give up hoping that "this time could be the Miracle," but to protect my heart, I have to stop expecting it to happen. The disappointment is way too devastating.

Binky said...

Why can't I get credit for time served?

Waiting to see if this one will live (5w2d, after IUI)

unravelled: After two years, one late miscarriage, two early mcs, failed treatments and heartache, I am unreasonably hopeful that this one will stick. I wish I could go to sleep and wake up in my second tri with a healthy fetus.

sharah said...

I try to pretend this isn't really happening.

Type: 2ww

It helps me to manage my hope if I pretend that there isn't any chance of this working. Someone said recently that fertile women don't give this much emotional reserve to the 2ww, so why should we? I agree with that, and I'm trying to not obsess over it anymore.