The Daily News

LFCA Latest Issue: Friday, September 25, 2009.

Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

My Status: Fed Josh's almonds to the squirrels. They needed them very badly.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Friday Blog Roundup

Where has all the banter gone? All the warm hugs or agreement or disagreement or assvice or name-calling? The acknowledgment that a warm-blooded person has taken in your words with their eyes and processed them inside their brain? I just read this fantastic, emotional post about a last loss on Tina's blog and there were only three comments (okay, by the time I post this, there may be more, but if there isn't, go over there and comment!). Three comments! There had to be more than three readers. And how can you read something that emotional and not reach out with a little virtual hug?

And I'm admonishing myself too! I'm guilty of reading and fleeing. Of laughing and then clicking the mouse to go onto the next blog without telling the writer that I was snickering over her entry. Or bawling my eyes out, but not letting the writer know how much their words affected me. We think that it's not important to leave a comment, but like the subtitle of the emoblopedia suggests, blogging is interactive. Half of the job is completed by the writer and the other half is completed by the reader.

I am declaring this upcoming week Comments Week. From today until next Friday, send out the love. Read fewer blogs if you have to but comment more. Let people know that you're reading them. It can even be a Dick Cheney-like flat response of "I am reading you. I enjoyed this. Grrrrrr." But at least acknowledge that you read the words and they went through you--even if they were sort of the emotional equivalent to Olestra.

It's spring. It's a time for love (is it a time for love? It just feels like spring could be a time for love). Send some love. Send a little hug. That could be your whole comment: "hug!" Agree with someone. Or disagree respectfully with someone. Or send a little "is everything okay" note to a blogger like Smarshy who hasn't written in weeks and we're supposed to believe that he's "busy" with this "class" when we all know that he's watching Teletubbies on the sly. And placing the blame on the Buggins.

Oh...and look...here are some blogs where you can send the love!

On the topic of emotional posts about loss, Annie at Pink Line Chaser is currently going through a loss right now. She could use a virtual hug. At the same time, read her post this week, "Figures." She asks: "You know those moods where you just want to pick a fight with someone just to fight? Or you are frozen into inaction by malaise or apathy? Yeah. I've got both going on. Those feelings are so familiar--you can't help but nod your head in agreement.

Avonlea has this achingly beautiful post about being in a state of pre-spring--of being simply the leaves with the bulb still underground waiting to emerge. My favourite part of the post is this gorgeous thought: "The problem I have - the root of it - is staying. Staying with my feelings, staying in the moment. Feeling. Being. Procrastination helps me avoid all of that. But I have finally gotten to the point where the pressure and anxiety of avoiding are too high and I must confront it all and deal with it. So I've begun pushing through that dirt that's piled up high on my head. I'm making in roads, but I'm not there yet." Isn't that amazing? Well, don't just sit there nodding your head; go tell her (by fuck, I'm demanding today)!

Sara at Of Course You'll Get Pregnant has a post called "Owwww, My Nipples" this week. And if that's not enough to get you to go over there in nipple empathy, this line should send you clicking: "I've already POAS (positive - so the trigger shot did make its way into my system) and put it under my pillow for luck. How ridiculous is that?" I don't know why; I just love the idea of sleeping with a pee stick under the pillow. Now I'm sure Josh would put down his foot at bringing urine into the bed (even if the stick is capped), but if I tucked it between the bed springs and the mattress and he didn't know?...

Watson of My Dear Watson has an amusing/informative 3 part video about mixing and preparing meds (though she stops short at showing you the injection). If you're about to start injections, it might be helpful to see and if you're already a seasoned pro, you might still want to watch for advice on what to do with all those vial tops.

Dianne at Flutter of Hope has a great post that really put into words a relationship that I have (and I'm sure that most people have someone like this in their lives). You could be on the same side of the field, working together and empathizing together, but instead you're separate in your emotions over infertility. She writes: "What hurts, is that she can’t recognize that if she is in pain, I must also be in pain. Instead of being on our own corners of pain, we could be bonding over it. We could be commiserating over the feelings of being left behind, our longing for a wanted child which may never come, and our sadness which is my infertility."

Liz, who wrote the Infertility Survival Handbook as well as the adoption book that we read for the first book tour has started her own blog! Read along and go welcome her into the blogosphere as she considers whether or not to return to the clinic to try treatments again.

Lastly, Kim at There's Weenie Juice on My Cookie (how can that not pique your interest?) has a post this week that is just plain fun. Head on over and read about the amazing feats of werewolf sperm.

So go comment this week. Keep track of how many comments you write. Congratulate yourself at the end of the week for making however many bloggers feel better (um...the point is to make them feel better--so no mean comments allowed) by letting them know that their words have made a difference in your life.

Oh...and while you're out there commenting, tell people when you think a post should go into the emoblopedia. Just cut-and-paste: "hey, this would be great for the emoblopedia! Send a link to this post to thetowncriers@gmail.com and Melissa will add it. Just let her know which category--or start a new one."

Or something like that...

27 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm reading you, Mel! Thanks as always for your amazing work here. Words escape me lately, but I come and read and am constantly amazed, and love hearing from you on my LJ.

:o)

~celeste
http://light_of_unity.livejournal.com

Aurelia said...

Hey, I'm commenting! I comment everywhere...sometimes too much...*eyeroll*

But yes, I know what you mean, there is less commenting everywhere lately, I think sometimes there has been a mixture of hormones and sadness and desperation that has fueled a couple of disagreements in the comments. And some people are afraid to say anything now.

As I told a real-life friend of mine, in IF the stakes are life and death, & we all will sometimes disagree, but we CAN do it discreetly and kindly, if we choose, along with being supportive.

So see you in the comments, okay?

Samantha said...

I always read your posts! Thanks for the reminder to comment.

theoneliner said...

love the idea of the comments week. i need to do it more often. i also wonder if my comments are too short? but i don't want to leave people out and i just don't have the time to read AND write a long comment.

thirdtimelucky said...

ok ok I'm off to read and comment.

Shelby said...

I've gotta thank you big time for this blog!! I had found it months back, when we first got our initial diagnosis, but now that we're getting ready to start some treatments, I'm back and reading through tons of posts and blogs! I also started my own blog to document our process- Writing the first post was the hardest, but now that it's out there, I already feel a huge weight lifted.

Shelby
http://sbifblog.blogspot.com

Baby Blues said...

Here's commenting for "Comment Week"! I agree Mel, people should comment more often, even if it's short, like "Nice", "Well said", or "I hear you." I look forward to reading other people's comments on my post so I make it a point to comment on theirs too. Happy Commenting Week! I'm off to place comments. (I guess with everyone commenting, it would mean longer word verifications.)

TeamWinks said...

I think all of us love comments. It helps you feel more connected, and reminds you that others out there understand where you are coming from.

Mel, I love your blog, and thank you for having it. Save me a barstool at the next open bar!

andrea_jennine said...

Cheers to commenting week!

Tina said...

Thanks for including me in the round-up, yet again. *blush*

I think the connecting and commenting issue is the best thing about your blog and the Friday Round Up's - you connect people to other people we might overlook from time to time. There are so many blogs out there, it has hard to read them all... Your blog keeps us all connected.

...Off to waste work time and comment!

katd said...

Hooray for comment week!!! I am guilty of occasionally reading and running, so I will do better:)

decemberbaby said...

Comment week? I love it! Comments make me feel better... you're right, I should extend that courtesy to bloggers more often. Off I go to comment...

And thanks for the shout-out. I would never have pegged that post as one of the best, but you're right... bringing pee into the bed is kind of weird. Then again, I'm kind of weird too :-)

mandolyn said...

Good call on Comment Week. I could do better as well. I think it's easy sometimes to forget that while we do write mostly for ourselves and our own perservation of (a resemblance of?) sanity, it's really cool to know that other people get it too. And care. And have their own feelings written out in the blogosphere, too.

gypsyhick said...

I love the Friday roundups. And thanks for the reminder to comment - I rarely do, and I really should at least tell people they touched me. :)

Meg said...

awesome :)

Mands said...

Well said, and it is in that spirit that I am de-lurking and commenting on your post.
To tell you the truth, Town Criers have always seemed to me like the glue holding this great big IF family together, and we were long overdue for a family meeting to highlight our shortcomings. Today I have commented on every blog I read. I've seen the light. Thank you Mel :-)

megan said...

here here for comment week!
i *just* started my fertility blog and was nearly taken aback by how it felt when i received comments on my first entry. my eyes welled up with tears and i felt less alone than i have in over a year.

Coffeegrl said...

Yay for comments. I've lurked for too long without acknowledging so many wonderful authors. I've laughed, I've cried, but I've never commented until today. I needed the push - thank you!

tryingin2007 said...

such a great blog! thank you!

yes! comments, even from a stranger, are meaningful. I am sincerely touched by all of the ones I receive.

http://tryingin2007.blogspot.com/

katd said...

You are the absolute best. I can't find your email, so I'm going to just post here:) I got your comment about the whole family saying a prayer for us at 5:55, and it made me cry. I can't even begin to tell you how much that means to me, Mel. Thank you so much for your support and kindness! :)

msfitzita said...

I was here! :)

Tam said...

I totally get you and am sad to say that I often read and flee too..but I'm going to make more effort. It's nice to have the support and those virtual hugs when the days are dark..here's to comment week!!

Sticky Bun said...

You're so right--I'm also going to redouble my commenting efforts. :-)

VanillaDreams said...

I'm here! I'm reading! I'm commenting! I have finally updated my blog! ;) (Well....sort of...)

Anyway....yeah....your post comes at an interesting time, as while I HAVE been reading all the blogs I follow, I haven't been commenting as much.

Just not up to it after another early miscarriage, after the email fiasco with my "friend", and various other things....

I will try and get back into the swing of things...

xx
Nilla

Karianne said...

Just the rally call I needed! I'm great at commenting on my constant blogs, but not so great at the new ones that I come across. But not this coming up week!

And I'm heading over to send out hugs and comments to the posts you suggested.

Isabel said...

I'm commenting my heart out!

Usually I feel like I don't have a lot to contribute. Or that what I say is stupid. Or I'm afraid people will click thru to my blog and get upset about the content there.

I guess what I'm saying is I have self-esteem issues that usually prevent me from commenting. I'm thinking, I'm not alone. How sad is that?

Stacie said...

OK, I couldn't comment all week because I was on vacation. Not vacation from blogging, but an honest-to-G-d vacation.

I will try to comment lots this week, and make up for it.