The Daily News

LFCA Latest Issue: Friday, September 25, 2009.

Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

My Status: Fed Josh's almonds to the squirrels. They needed them very badly.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Friday Blog Roundup

We have a new radio station in D.C. called George (104.1). They play a mix of hits from the 70s and 80s (as well as "whatever we want" as their slogan reads) and you can apparently also listen over the Internet. For the first 104 days, the music is completely commercial-free. And they don't repeat the same song during the day.

Last week, I wrote about Painting Chef's mix tape idea and it's so true. You hear a song and you're instantly transported. "The Flame" by Cheap Trick? I'm leaving my first year at a sleepaway camp to come back home. "Uncle John's Band" by the Grateful Dead? I'm driving to the Homecoming dance with my smoppy (which is high school slang for secret make-out pal).

This morning, I taught the kids to scream out "everybody wang chung tonight!" as we were driving to the library. Truly, what's the point of having people parrot you if they're not going to know the important things to shout out in a social situation? Which brings up an interesting question--which will win out in the memory game? In the future, when I hear "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" will I remember every freakin' Bar or Bat Mitzvah I went to when I was thirteen or will those memories be replaced with my son's squeaky voice screaming out "wang chung baby!" through a mouthful of crackers? And if we can reconnect a song with a new memory, why don't we simply take the ones attached to bad memories and reattach them to more positive memories? For example, I have a friend who lost her virginity while Backdraft was playing in the background. That movie is forever tainted since the experience sucked. What new experience would be strong enough to trump loss of viriginity in the replacement game? What song or movie would you replace if you could get a negative attachment out of your mind forever?

And now...onto the blogs...

The Infertile Gourmet is finally coming home today. With her daughter. And her husband. It's a little bit like being Alice in Wonderland and walking back out of the looking glass. How sad to say goodbye to this world you've been living in for a while. How exciting to come back home with all of these new experiences in your head. Not to mention a new daughter in your arms. Welcome back.

If you have been looking to pee in your pants (since don't we all seek out situations where our pants will be wet for the remainder of the day?), head over to My Dear Watson's current entry about psychic healers. That's really all I can say because nothing I'm going to write can top her stories. They fucking rock.

Inglewood at My Inconceivable Life has a wonderful post about being between two worlds now that she is finally pregnant--she comes from the infertile world, but she feels survivor guilt when she reads infertility and loss blogs. But at the same time, how does she read the pregnancy blogs and find like-minded thoughts amongst the women who write about turning down ultrasounds? My feeling is that if all the veterans leave the war, who will be left to teach the new soldiers how to fight? It is a unique situation--pregnant or parenting after infertility and/or loss. The experience getting there shapes the way you view the goal. Therefore, I hope every stirrup queen or sperm palace jester reaches his/her hand backwards once they step out of the trenches. Both to give and receive support. When that occurs, you have community rather than a linear process of people moving in and then out of a journey. That community is so important to me.

Katd is going a bit crazy over at They Grow in Your Heart and she could use a little support (speaking of community). She has a beautiful post called "Homesick" this week where she waits for a birthmother to give birth and hopefully choose Katd to raise her child if she cannot do it herself. Katd asks, "Isn't it weird to feel like you miss something you don't yet have? I don't know if the baby due in a week is meant for us, but I do know that our baby is out there somewhere." Please go over there and let her know you have her back no matter what happens this week with the birthmother.

In Seeking Bulscu this week, the author writes about seeing a foster family returning from Orlando. The author is currently in her own adoption journey and she obviously was interested in this family that was so close and happy. She writes: "There was something that hit me this week, something profound and unusually calming. Something that felt like a hand on back with a warm embrace saying that yes it will be tough, but everything will come out ok. " To read the story and hear the advice this foster mother gave her, click here...

Finishing up, Smarshy will probably be winning the Nobel Prize in Physics this year because he has noticed a rip in the time-space continuum.

I don't think it gets any bigger than that.


DD said...

The song I would like to have a good memory replace is Maroon 5's "She will be Loved". A popular song while I was pregnant in 2004. Ironcially, the lost baby was a girl...and she was and still is, loved.

(Yes, I know that the lyrics are not necessarily about loving someone)

Watson said...

SWEET MOTHER OF GOD I finally made the Friday Blog Roundup -- YIPPEEE!!

Thanks Mel, you're the best.

{And your check is in the mail :-) }



gypsyhick said...

Thanks for the roundups, Mel. I really love to check in on Fridays!

And as for songs, I'm ok with the memories that currently accompany them. As time passes, I find that the most painful memories tied to songs are less painful. I spend more time reminiscing about why rather than wishing the song hadn't played.

"Mad World" done by Gary Jules still sucks all the air out of the room and back to the days after we weren't pregnant any more. When I need a release, I play it on repeat.

I'm a dweller/wallower/introspector.

Inglewood said...

Thanks for mention on the Friday Blog Roundup! I feel kinda giddy like I just got a mention in the paper or something. Made my day.

Thanks for your comments and your slant on things, definitely helps.

SmarshyBoy said...

I made it on the roundup! My name in print! Do you have ANY idea how many people read this?

First off, I want to thank M, without whose drastic mood swings and wacky eggs I wouldn't be here today.

And to my fellow nominees in my category, I want to say that I'm proud to be in your company.

Whoops, the music's starting, they're cutting me off so I have to make this quick. Thanks again everybody! Free TIBET!

katd said...

Mel! Thank you so much for the mention. I can't tell you how excited I was to see my name in the Roundup:) I am very appreciative of all the support I've received from this community. I feel like I should call my mom and tell her...or print it out and hang it on the fridge.

Now, the song is EASY for me. The first time I ever really drank was at a frat party in college. A band was playing "Brown Eyed Girl" when a full beer can came FLYING through the air, smacked me in the head, and knocked me down. I was humiliated, drunk, and I had no idea that I had a giant knot on my head until the next morning. Ahhh, memories.

Sunny said...

I love the new station in DC. Much better than the classical. I still miss the old 104.

Jars of Clay, first album, was such a good list of songs but when I hear them I hear a stupid guy who totally used me. (he was the biggest geek too! salt to the wound!) YEP sucks. I try to ignore the memories but yep they are there.

TraceyF said...


Thank you for the mention!
Wow I feel so honoured and I am glad to be in such amazing company.

I used to be so tied with songs and their meanings and memories, A song can come on and sometimes I relate it to what I am feeling in my life at that moment, the next time I hear the same song I may not feel the same about it, when I recently had another m/c some songs would may me bawl, ruining my mascara and make up on my drive to work. Now I avoid the ugly show and skip the music, stick to talk radio.