We had dinner at my parent's house last night for the last night of Chanukkah. My mother told me that she was bothered by the use of the word "guilt" in the post this week on infertility diagnoses (yes, my mommy reads my blog, and she does call me every time I use a curse word. I was going to write a curse word in this space to be funny, but I know that she will not find that amusing).
(I find it amusing)
She felt the term "guilt" implied something within the person's control. She believed a person experienced guilt over knowing the right thing to do, but choosing a different path. Most of the time, infertility isn't about choices or right vs. wrong. It's about a medical condition and elements that are outside your control.
I grabbed my dictionary.
Guilt (n) 1. the fact of being responsible for the commission of an offense. Culpability for a crime that carries a legal penalty. Remoreseful awareness of having done something wrong. Self-reproach, as for inadequacy (American Heritage Dictionary).
So what is the right term to describe what you feel as you lie awake at 3 a.m., worried about finances and feeling the weight that your reproductive organs are the reason you are spending your money on fertility drugs rather than a vacation?