The Daily News

LFCA Latest Issue: Friday, September 25, 2009.

Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

My Status: Fed Josh's almonds to the squirrels. They needed them very badly.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Dream (Children Mentioned)

I dreamed that we adopted a child from Russia. I don't know if it was because I had just been speaking with my mother about adoption prior to going to bed (I was sleeping at her house) or if this is some sort of sign that it's a good road to take. Because I felt very much at peace during the dream.

Important background you need to know in order to psychoanalyze me: In real life, the twins were supposed to be triplets, but the third sac was a blighted ovum. The edge of the empty sac is visible in the first sonogram picture we have of them. I see that photo almost every night in a video that Josh made for the kids. Perhaps that has been on my mind as well, though it is something I rarely think about overall.

In my dream, we decided to adopt a boy from Russia. I decided I wanted a boy who was the same age as the twins rather than adopting a baby. And it became clear in the dream that I was trying to pass them off as triplets rather than as twins and their brother. In my dream, I was scared that the twins wouldn't include him, but my daughter wrapped her arms around him and gave him a big hug while my son circled around them. They kept putting their heads against one another (which was the way my daughter used to "kiss" people when she was little--she touched her forehead to the other person's forehead).

There were all sort of problems--where to put a third crib in their already cramped bedroom. But I kept insisting that the triplets needed to remain together and they all needed to be able to reach each other. So we placed the cribs in a triangle. While I felt at peace with pretending they were triplets, everyone else was worried when I called them the triplets. I kept explaining that it was easier to just call them the triplets than admit that we had adopted the third child long after having the first two. Though I was calling them the triplets even when we were at home.

I woke up and couldn't stop thinking about it. Anyone want to play Freud with this one?

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

While it seems obvious: you want another child and you miss the one you lost, it could also be read nonliterally to mean something entirely different. Like wondering how others view you (like the stuff with your mom). or even something not related to kids at all.

Anonymous said...

I was actually thinking that it might have something to do with the fact trying to decide between adoption and bearing another child. I feel like though in your dream you "adopted" the little boy, you (and the twins) perceived him as the baby you lost.

I don't know - I'm certainly no expert. It was just something that came to mind when I read this.

If anything, dreams most definitely give us some food for thought, no? :)

Anonymous said...

Yeah. I HATE typos -

"... something to do with the fact that you are still trying to decide between adoption..."

Oops.

Anonymous said...

I agreee with both comments. Now here is one for you!


Interesting dream. I have baby dreams a lot. Once I had a dream where I was feeding a baby and he turned into a cat! My dad looked over at me and said, "Now what are you going to do?"

Anonymous said...

Well, I would definitely pick an adoption dream over a turducken dream...especially because my googles are getting weirder and weirder. :)
On a more serious note, I'm thinking you are wanting a replacement child, for the "missing one." But as you know, no kid replaces another.
Have you ever had a "goodbye" ceremony or event or something to officially recognize that loss? Maybe choosing a name or writing a story about the "what-ifs" can help resolve some feelings for some people.

Anonymous said...

I agree that you've probably still got some unresolved feelings about the baby you lost, and that adoption has been on your mind lately. To be honest, I'm not much for reading *too* much into dreams--sometimes a cigar really is just a cigar--but this one definitely seems to have some meaning behind it.

Anam said...

*hugs* sounds like you need to grieve for the loss of the 3rd child. it is hard to accept there is a loss in muliples becuase somehow the twins will never be complete in your head until you let the 3rd one go and realise that what you have is everything that could have been at that time. I know people who have adopted children that would have been the same age as the child they lost through sids or a freak accident and both of the adoptions failed becuase the parents were trying to 'borg' the new child into their orginal child.

**hugs** adoption for the right reasons and for the right child is good - but remeber adoption is for the child slightly more than the parents.