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LFCA Latest Issue: Friday, September 25, 2009.

Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

My Status: Fed Josh's almonds to the squirrels. They needed them very badly.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

New Poll

This idea of when you first felt like a mother or father (or when you started putting your unborn or newly born child before yourself) warranted a new poll so check the side bar. Check off not when you think the rest of society considered you a mother or father, but when you quietly felt internally like a mother or father. Feel free to also post a comment and explain your answer...


Royalyne said...

I felt like a mother way back when I started wishing for a baby, I was taking care of my body, cut out alcohol almost entirely, imagined so many scenarios and replayed them over and over in my head (how to tell everybody, first phone call from school because he got sick, teaching him to write his name, planning how to handle discipline, etc). I could almost feel those tiny breaths as she slept on my chest and the soft skin on her forehead as I kissed her goodnight. When those thoughts were enough to brighten a day, I felt like a mother in my heart, just waiting for my body to catch up.

aah0424 said...

Wow, royalyne, I felt that same way: "When those thoughts were enough to brighten a day, I felt like a mother in my heart, just waiting for my body to catch up."

That was a perfect way to describe it!

I can also say that I have felt maternal my whole life. I would take turns taking my dolls with me to our family breakfast every Sunday. I had a stroller, infant seat, and diaper bag that I lugged around with me. My brother was born when I was 6 so I took on the roll of little mommy to him from the moment he was born. When I got to college I lived with 6 girlfriends and could never sleep until I knew they were all in. I care for my puppies like they were my babies (and I probably treat my husband that way too sometimes) because I NEED to feel like I'm nurturing somebody.

So, no I am not a mother in the literal form yet, but I do feel like that is what I was meant to be.

mandolyn said...

Leave it to you, royalyne, to say it the way we wish we could! That explains my feelings, too.

lunarmagic said...

I feel like a mother now. When we started TTC we started adapting our life to accomodate for a future child... I really started planning things. I noticed I started patting my stomach, thinking about the baby that will hopefully one day grow inside me.

Plus we have two dogs and a cat. I'm already a mother. Nothing makes you feel like a mother quite like feeding hungry mouths, cleaning up puke and diarrhea, and snuggling up with creatures who view you as God.

Anonymous said...

From the moment we decided (gotta love that I thought I had control) to try I felt maternal. Now that I am a mom - I feel like the mother of a toddler. I don't feel like the mother of a baby and I don't feel like the mother of a teenager. Being a mother is a journey not a state of being.

Anonymous said...

I love the sentiment of this - but actually I haven't even reached this point yet.

Miscarriage, failed IVF - I don't even feel like a woman.

Is there a category for 'failed woman' - is it alien?

Ellen K. said...

I looked toward the future, as instructed, and replied "when I got PG." We've been TTC for almost 2.5 years and I've never seen a BFP. I feel maternal, but I'm not a mother. All the mental and emotional preparation for motherhood hasn't made me a mother in actuality. If we adopt, I don't think I'll feel that I am a mother until we are matched with a child.

On Mother's Day this year, my husband's cousin gave me a little gift, saying that I was a "mother at heart." It felt good to have my heart acknowledged by others, rather than just my midsection.

~r said...

I was a late bloomer - I felt like a mother when they placed my son in my arms. I think I had that difficult-to-conceive denial going on. Until I actually heard him crying, it was hard for me to believe he was really my child.

(ok, honestly, that denial lasted longer... he was several weeks old before I stopped feeling like it was surreal, and not always in a good way.. so I was a really late-bloomer with a 6-week-old when I felt like I'd finally reached motherhood.. that's hard to admit, I have a lot of guilt about it.)

The Town Criers said...

Ellen--I love this thought--that your heart was recognized on Mother's Day.

And it's so true. Sometimes I just feel like a big walking uterus :-)