When you're living in the Land of If, you're constantly trying to buy a house on mainland. But even when you get that house, do you ever truly give up your residence on the island? It's not a pleasant place to visit, so why would someone want to remain here? Or, perhaps, the real question remains, a Frenchman living in America is still French...right?
Some friends of mine were having this debate. Some people immediately distanced themselves the moment they gave birth (I was infertile, but now I'm obviously fertile because I gave birth--even if it was with assistance). Others never wanted to identify themselves as infertile in the first place. And then there are those of us who feel that our whole identity changed with the experience and will always identify as infertile.
In our case, we're not finished building a family. Since I will need assistance to conceive (most likely invasive, but at the minimum, with drugs), I consider myself infertile. It's an identity I've struggled with--both the shame of not feeling "like a woman" since I'm not getting pregnant in the usual way and the pride I feel in having gone the extra steps to become a mother. My children will never doubt how much they were wanted. Bins full of used injectible needles prove that--because only a heroin junkie or someone crazy would be willing to put themselves through that if they weren't completely hell-bent on being a mother.
If you are already living on mainland and have finished building your family, do you still consider yourself infertile? If you have children, but are still building your family (this time either with or without assistance), do you consider yourself infertile? And if you are still living in the Land of If, do you think you will still use this label after you've gotten that nice little bungalow on the other side of the sea?
A mini-question of the day...