(Sniff...sniff) That is so great! (sniff...give what you hope is a silent, choked-back sob) How far along are you? (low moan that you muffle by placing your hand over the phone) Yeah, I imagine it would suck to be 8 months pregnant during the summer (make clicking noises to simulate call waiting) I really have to go now, but we need to get together so I can hear ALL THE GODDAMN DETAILS.
Run into bathroom and sit on the floor next to the toilet. Try not to look in the garbage can and see the wrappers from the last two BFN pregnancy tests. Check caller-ID next time the phone rings.
Question Four--how do you prefer to be told when someone has pregnancy news? By the happy couple? By a mutual friend? Over the phone? In person? At the beginning of a long car ride up I-95 on 4th of July weekend when you'll be trapped in traffic with the pregnant woman (who will be complaining about how she has to pee and how you can't imagine how badly she has to go to the bathroom and how you are sooooooooooooooo lucky that you're not pregnant during the summer because morning sickness when it's hot outside is the woooooooooooorst) for the next 6 hours?
And it's okay to answer that your ideal situation would include the hypothetical pregnant couple bringing you all the booze from their liquor cabinet since they won't need it for the next 9 months (woohoo! Free alcohol for the SQs and SPJs). Check back Friday afternoon to hear how we prefer people to break the happy news.
And by "prefer" we mean the only way you're going to get the response you crave from us.