We turned it off, laughing at the movie. At least I didn't have to read the books.
I was so damn wrong.
Even though I didn't like the movie and had barely paid attention to it, I wanted to see it again. So we brought it with us for Vampire Beach Week (named mostly because we were dragging along Buffy episodes and it sounded good to have a theme to our week). And I was more serious about it than being alone in a clearing with a vampire. I watched it with the laptop closed.
So I started to read the first book. And it's awful--it is truly some of the worst writing I've ever read. There should be a drinking game invented (for those who enjoy books and alcohol together) where you have to do a shot every time she uses the word "glare." All they do is glare at each other. A few pages into the book and I started to scream, "does she not understand the concept of show don't tell?"
And yet, when the Wolvog announced during a car ride that he needed to pee and Josh pulled over to a Dunkin Donuts, I yanked out the book and crammed in three pages during the break. I cannot put it down and it's awful. I mean, it's not awful that I can't put it down. The book is awful. And I can't put it down.
I'm not sure if I really like the book or if I've been told to like the book so I like the book. I am fairly certain that I honestly like Harry Potter--not because I was told by society to like it, but because the series was actually good and I personally liked it--and I use my dislike of Titanic as a barometer. The rest of America loved it, but I didn't. So I am capable of disliking things that others like.
I feel that my obsession (and it really is an obsession when you yank out the book to read three pages during someone else's pee break) is a lot like Bella's relationship with Edward. It is quite clear that it's not a healthy relationship from the get-go, sort of akin to striking up a penpal exchange with a serial killer that has just been released from prison.
And it's quite clear that the writing and storyline in these books suck--Bella is unlikable (what the hell is up with all the falling? She doesn't sound clumsy--she sounds like she has a condition that requires treatment. Clumsy is mentioning once or twice that she trips. Condition is the page after page descriptions of how she seemingly can't walk across a room and remain upright). She doesn't know why Edward likes her and the reader doesn't know why Edward likes her. Because she certainly doesn't seem like something special.
And yet, just like Edward can't resist vanilla-pudding Bella, I cannot resist these terrible books.
It is an attraction that defies logic, defies explanation, defies good sense. They are so clearly bad, and yet, I cannot stop. In fact, I am using an old birthday gift certificate to buy my own copy today. What the fuck is wrong with me?
*******
The Weekly What If: If your partner told you tonight that he/she was a vampire (and proved to you that they clearly were and not just making shit up to scare you) but would never hurt you (even though they thought about it), would you remain with them? Living in the same house? Sleeping in the same bed?
*******
I like to call this era of my life "baby steps with vampires." I can see myself watching True Blood sometime after the series ends. I am generally a latecomer to all things pop culture. And one day I will even start checking out Anne Rice. That is, if Edward and Bella do not drain all my good will towards the "cold ones."
*******
In unrelated-to-vampire book news, I am giving a reading at Politics and Prose in Washington, D.C. on the 12th. I am twelve-kinds of emotional that the first reading for the book (and I will have other locations/dates nailed down soon) is at my favourite bookstore in America (Books for Cooks is a close second, but that's in the UK so...). A place where I have spent so much money and so much time that the old owners of the cafe named a drink after me that is now gone from the menu (sniff).
And I would love all of you to come even though I know a large portion of you are not in the DC Metro area. But if you are, the details are
Place: Politics and Prose
Date: July 12th
Time: 1 p.m.
The most enticing reason to come is that P&P told me that I'm allowed to bring cookies. I've never been to a book reading with cookies and I've always felt that cookies were the missing piece. So I am bringing my Tom Waits and my chocolate chip cookies and whatever else strikes my fancy right before the event. So come for the book reading, but stay for the cookies. Or come for the cookies, but have to endure an hour of hearing about my reproductive organs. Or come for the cookies only and hang out in the fiction section for the reading and pretend you loved my book. All possibilities work.
Please let me know if you are planning to be there. And if you can't be there because you don't live anywhere near DC but know people in the area, forward the information on to them. Pictures and possibly even video from the event coming soon.
And I would love all of you to come even though I know a large portion of you are not in the DC Metro area. But if you are, the details are
Place: Politics and Prose
Date: July 12th
Time: 1 p.m.
The most enticing reason to come is that P&P told me that I'm allowed to bring cookies. I've never been to a book reading with cookies and I've always felt that cookies were the missing piece. So I am bringing my Tom Waits and my chocolate chip cookies and whatever else strikes my fancy right before the event. So come for the book reading, but stay for the cookies. Or come for the cookies, but have to endure an hour of hearing about my reproductive organs. Or come for the cookies only and hang out in the fiction section for the reading and pretend you loved my book. All possibilities work.
Please let me know if you are planning to be there. And if you can't be there because you don't live anywhere near DC but know people in the area, forward the information on to them. Pictures and possibly even video from the event coming soon.
*******
In other non-related-to-vampire book news, the latest pick of the Barren Bitches book club is up. Stephanie Klein was a keynote speaker at BlogHer last year and she is the writer of the blog, Greek Tragedy. Her book, Moose, has been described as Judy Blume's Blubber for adults. And it is. It is funny and true and sad and very well-written.
The only thing missing is the stamp collecting.
I am about 3/4th of the way though the book (sidetracked by that damned Twilight series!) and it is brilliant. It is such an interesting exploration for the ways we view our bodies and how it seeps into other areas of life. What motivates us and what can't. It is not about infertility--it is about weight loss--but as I read it, I couldn't help but rewrite some of the passages from the frame of infertility and how it makes me feel about my own body.
I think it will be a fantastic discussion and I encourage everyone to join along because there is a long reading period for the book (come on, you know you were looking for something to take to the beach) and Stephanie is joining along and is open to answering questions. Read the instructions in the post on how to sign up.
The only thing missing is the stamp collecting.
I am about 3/4th of the way though the book (sidetracked by that damned Twilight series!) and it is brilliant. It is such an interesting exploration for the ways we view our bodies and how it seeps into other areas of life. What motivates us and what can't. It is not about infertility--it is about weight loss--but as I read it, I couldn't help but rewrite some of the passages from the frame of infertility and how it makes me feel about my own body.
I think it will be a fantastic discussion and I encourage everyone to join along because there is a long reading period for the book (come on, you know you were looking for something to take to the beach) and Stephanie is joining along and is open to answering questions. Read the instructions in the post on how to sign up.
*******
And now, the blogs...
Bagmomma had a post this week called "The Monster in the Closet" about coming to the end of the line. It begins with a terrible dream she had that she recalls vividly (and she places you right there inside her head) and ends with this thought: "It's the monster in the closet, behind the door I don't dare open. What is to become of me when I have to turn that doorknob? It's almost like being told you are going to die, but instead of not knowing when.. you have a date. Because very soon ...I will know." It is an incredible post, full of emotion, and I cannot get her dream out of my head. And honestly, I feel like she needs to submit this somewhere--the BlogHer community keynote next year, a magazine...somewhere. Because it is an amazing piece of writing.
Our Journey to Parenthood (and Hopefully Beyond) had a post that also began with a dream. Except that this post was the exact opposite--not a manifestation of worry, but a manifestation of hope. Though she asks an excellent question: "Why do I, who wants children more than anything else in the world and thinks about it throughout the day, have to be haunted by it at night as well?" It continues into a question of the timing of life; why things happen. And it simply struck a chord with me.
The Great Big If had a post looking back on the same date a year earlier. It is not just the difference of loss vs. pregnancy, it is the difference between being alone vs. being part of a community. She tells the story of being uninvited to a party due to her loss and juxtaposes it with this upcoming Fourth of July: "At this time last year, I had never read an ALI blog. I had never met someone who had openly battled infertility or loss and I had never stepped foot into an infertility support group. I was alone, in every sense of the word. As I celebrate the 4th this year with two of my new IF friends, I feel anything but alone." It is a post that made me smile.
Lastly, Becoming Whole had a post on the additional meaning infused in relationships and objects. I couldn't help but think of my own location casualties as I read the post; places I never want to return to because they are so deeply seeped in infertility. She is writing about her marriage and explains: "When you’ve made another person’s needs and wants the center of your universe for so long, a lot of material things end up taking on additional significance, as they can seem like the key to domestic tranquility." It is about taking back something that reminds her of her ex, but also had the potential to bring about comfort (albeit painful comfort). A beautiful, empowering post.
The roundup to the Roundup: Twilight is awful, but I can't stop reading it and giving Stephenie Meyer all my money. Answer the Weekly What If. Come see me at Politics and Prose and spread word. Join along for the next book club selection. And, of course, many good blogs to read. Oh, and if you missed it because it was added late, Josh joined us for the Navigating the Land of If book tour.
Happy Fourth of July if you are living in the US (or are US-born). I will eat a popsicle for you. And I am almost finished uploading all of my photos and writing about last week--you know, Advocacy Day, meeting Cassandra, eating dinner with Julie, and stripping in rest rooms of kosher restaurants. You know, average week.
Bagmomma had a post this week called "The Monster in the Closet" about coming to the end of the line. It begins with a terrible dream she had that she recalls vividly (and she places you right there inside her head) and ends with this thought: "It's the monster in the closet, behind the door I don't dare open. What is to become of me when I have to turn that doorknob? It's almost like being told you are going to die, but instead of not knowing when.. you have a date. Because very soon ...I will know." It is an incredible post, full of emotion, and I cannot get her dream out of my head. And honestly, I feel like she needs to submit this somewhere--the BlogHer community keynote next year, a magazine...somewhere. Because it is an amazing piece of writing.
Our Journey to Parenthood (and Hopefully Beyond) had a post that also began with a dream. Except that this post was the exact opposite--not a manifestation of worry, but a manifestation of hope. Though she asks an excellent question: "Why do I, who wants children more than anything else in the world and thinks about it throughout the day, have to be haunted by it at night as well?" It continues into a question of the timing of life; why things happen. And it simply struck a chord with me.
The Great Big If had a post looking back on the same date a year earlier. It is not just the difference of loss vs. pregnancy, it is the difference between being alone vs. being part of a community. She tells the story of being uninvited to a party due to her loss and juxtaposes it with this upcoming Fourth of July: "At this time last year, I had never read an ALI blog. I had never met someone who had openly battled infertility or loss and I had never stepped foot into an infertility support group. I was alone, in every sense of the word. As I celebrate the 4th this year with two of my new IF friends, I feel anything but alone." It is a post that made me smile.
Lastly, Becoming Whole had a post on the additional meaning infused in relationships and objects. I couldn't help but think of my own location casualties as I read the post; places I never want to return to because they are so deeply seeped in infertility. She is writing about her marriage and explains: "When you’ve made another person’s needs and wants the center of your universe for so long, a lot of material things end up taking on additional significance, as they can seem like the key to domestic tranquility." It is about taking back something that reminds her of her ex, but also had the potential to bring about comfort (albeit painful comfort). A beautiful, empowering post.
The roundup to the Roundup: Twilight is awful, but I can't stop reading it and giving Stephenie Meyer all my money. Answer the Weekly What If. Come see me at Politics and Prose and spread word. Join along for the next book club selection. And, of course, many good blogs to read. Oh, and if you missed it because it was added late, Josh joined us for the Navigating the Land of If book tour.
Happy Fourth of July if you are living in the US (or are US-born). I will eat a popsicle for you. And I am almost finished uploading all of my photos and writing about last week--you know, Advocacy Day, meeting Cassandra, eating dinner with Julie, and stripping in rest rooms of kosher restaurants. You know, average week.
42 comments:
Number One: Still have not been tempted enough to pick up the vampire book. I'm glad you said the writing sucks...because even though you said you can't put it down, I am now fully convinced not to waste my time. I don't know...I haven't even felt tempted myself, just an odd curiosity as to why everyone else finds this book so fascinating.
Number two: I am now seriously depressed that my trip isn't until the 15th...and that I am missing your reading by a mere 3 days.
:-(
I have been a fan of Anne Rice's Queen of the Damned.
Now if my resident Vampire was Lestat....I might continue to stay on, you know!
awww, Mel. I love you.
The Anne Rice books? Now we're talking!! I devoured those books back in my (twenties? I think). Lestat was a character to sink your teeth into (har, har).
I have to admit. I do kinda like the Twilight series... I'm on book 3. It's not anywhere near perfect, but it is perfect for trashy beach reading.
I'm with Murgdan - not tempted to pick up the vampire book, especially since I keep hearing how bad the writing is.
As to the weekly what-if...well, you know how people say "You're not the person I married?" I think that as people feel more and more secure in a relationship, they expose more of their true selves. As time goes by and my husband lets out more and more of his craziness, I pretty much feel like a restrained vampire would just be yet another unexpected facet of his personality. :)
Sometimes the *story* is compelling, even if the writing is not. I've been sucked into those kinda books, too. And then I need to shower afterwards.
I took a course on Young Adult Lit at UW (!) as part of my minor, and there's a whole section on vampire/"monster" lit. It's v. accessible to teens who really grove on the idea of an outsider, and the freedoms/constraints awarded to teens who may fall into different categories. Kinda as a way of exploring their own identities and freedoms/constraints. they also seem to dig the alleged power switch, were kids are imbued with power, but then come to realize power comes with a price. And parent-less children are always the rage.
I'm really loving "True Blood" and how they work the vampire metaphor to explore issues of race and sexuality. Seeing as I'm a liberal kinda gal, I'd probably stay with my spouse, but not having him around during the day to help out might start grating my cheese.
We tried watching True Blood, but at least the first couple of eppys did not strike us as very good. I guess we are spoiled by Buffy and Angel.
My husband is a vampire, right? Of course he is. Whatever. :-)
I posted this on facebook on Twilight:
http://www.facebook.com/ext/share.php?sid=113002117436&h=ZahjV&u=5wwmD&ref=mf
It is a truely awful book--but I can understand having an obsession with something even when you know its bad...
In answer to the question about living with a vampire knowing they wanted to kill you, but wouldn't . . . . sounds like living with an abuser. So, my answer is "no." Good thing it's fiction, but I can't help but go with it in a real-life way. As for the Buffy series---loved it. Thinking of pulling out the DVDs.
First of all, as to what the F is wrong with you - you obviously need to have a blood transfusion - that will cure you.
As to your what if: My husband has been sucking the life out of me since the day I moved in with him....
Thirdly: I highly recommend Anne Rice's vampire books - interesting to note, she now writes Christian books.
Awww, Mel, thanks. :)
And regarding the Twilight series, you have articulated the reasons that I have thus far stayed far, far away. So bad, but can't put them down. Yeah. At least Harry Potter is well written. I'm just afraid to fall in the Twilight hole, basically.
Thanks for the roundup mention!
As for T.wilight, I am so happy to hear someone finally pointing out how awful the writing is. I was afraid in doing so myself that I'd have a mob of people (adults and teenagers alike) at my door with flaming torches. Especially since I work with high schoolers. But like you, I still find myself shamelessly drawn to the cheese.
I have had the book on my nightstand since end of summer/beginning of fall last year. I have never been able to get past the first chapter.
Gosh, I wish I could drive up to the book reading, but we have family in from Philly next weekend.
I have eaten Mel's chocolate chip cookies and I have been to Politics and Prose, and I can attest that the combination of the two would make for a very fine night.
"For better or for worse, in sickness and in health" would seem to include vampirism. I'm in it for the long haul. But I don't know how he'd handle immortality without me, nor do I think the night-only hours would agree with my husband.
I thoroughly enjoyed the Twilight series and managed to hook in 5 throughly sensible women who wouldn't have been seen with it otherwise because I knew we could all do with some mindless pleasure. Yeah the writing is not good, there are some unfortunate passages and metaphors but I say just enjoy the obsession. We all deserve a break, try not to think about the money or compromising your politics or intellect.
On the subject of Bella being 'special', book 4 and the online followup to Twilight 'Midnight Sun' do something to explain that. I know. I should be ashamed. I was for a few months.
If my partner was a vampire... I guess, if it was just me then I might well in that we could work that out between us, presuming that it's an Angel or Edward vampire. If I ever get to have kids, who are/aren't vampires, I guess that would change things. So, would I get the choice of being a vampire?
I didn't like Titanic either. But I did get addicted to the Twilight series - and I hated myself for it.
Weekly What If: Yeah, I'd stick around. I'd probably be more attracted than ever because... you know... Ladies Love the Outlaws. Or at least I do. I love all things that are not good for me.
Didn't like the movie much at all so never attempted the books - have been watching True Blood and so far pretty good but since we don't have HBO, I'm stuck with season 1 for now.
On the hubby as a vampire question, yeah depends what "vampire" style we're talking since all the shows / books have their own version more or less.
I have the same feeling and experience with the whole Twilight series. I have some weird love/hate relationship with it. I truly want to put Buffy & Bella in a room together so that the strong one can yank the weak one out of her emo-stupor, the more forcibly the better. I too read it while driving - at red lights for goodness sakes! Crazy how into it I was, and yet how much I disliked it (and mostly, Bella).
But to steal a (partial) line from National Lampoon's Vacation ... if you think you hate it now, just wait till you get to the 4th book. :)
I disliked Titanic also. I thought of a hundred ways of making the storyline better - tragically romatic and simply better. Horror aside - the special effects, showing the ship going down was jaw dropping.
Twilight is awful - but I went out and bought the second book at 9:30pm right after I closed the first one. Read the entire series in 5 days. The movie isn't all that amazing either - and yet, I can't help but watch it over and over again. What is up with that? The acting is pretty bad too! Is there a literary intoxicant worked into the ink? Very addictive and darned if I can explain why. One thing I will say I did like - and since my teens are reading it, appreciated immensely. Until they are married, even though they want to - Bella and Edward refrain from any bedroom boogaloo. Edward says it's because he doesn't want to hurt her/lose control - eat her. I liked that it showed mind over hormones could still be cool.
As for the question - would I hang around with a vampire?
What does he look like? Is this just a passing infatuation? Oh I don't know. I want to be beautiful and sparkly forever - but the whole no sleeping thing? No eating? (well, food in the traditional sense.)
I have so far resisted the Twilight lure, mostly because all the negative reviews I've heard have come from writers. If you're looking for some seriously awesome vampire chicklit, Kim Harrison's Rachel Morgan series is KICK ASS. Not only good writing, but great character development. And, as MLO has noted, a potential IF-related storyline developing as well.
If my husband was a vampire? I'll have to think about that one! He would never every hurt me, but he has no concept of delayed gratification! Or moderation! But then, that could be kind of deliciously scary to live with! :-) We'd have to move to a farm and raise an enormous number of pigs, I guess!
Oh dear god. I read the entire twilight series in about four days. It was so bad (gah - the writing is horrible!) and yet, I had to read it. But then, i feel that way about most books. If I start, I feel like I have to finish, even if it sucks.
I would be happy to mail you the entire series to keep if you want as I do not plan on rereading them.
I did like the fourth book much more than any of the others and it does touch on infertility but I don't want to do a spoiler.
Also! I read your book today and it is wonderful and you are awesome and if I had a million dollars I would buy a million copies and send it to everyone I know.
Yes - the Twilight series was awful, but by golly I finished all of them. I love vampire stories, Anne Rice, Buffy, all of them. So when I heard Twilight was all the rage, I dove in fully expecting to love every bit of it. Something about all the teenage angst and, well, their whole relationship really, was just dumb.
Definitely look into Anne Rice. Beginning with Interview with the Vampire, you can see how it is a representation of her struggle with religion and the Catholic Church. Keep reading and she begins to come to terms with God and now she writes books on religion. Very interesting.
Weekly What-if? Well, if he were ~already~ my partner, I'd give it a go. I do have a strange facination with vampires. But if I found myself sitting next to a vampire in science who snarled at me all day long? Nope. I'd be long gone.
I haven't read the books and only made it part way through the movie before we started just talking and it became background.
I think I would stay with my vampire :)
Have you seen this Buffy v. Edward clip on your tube?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZwM3GvaTRM
I've never been into the vampire thing, although I have plenty of friends who are into Anne Rice & now the Twilight books (& my sister is a huge Buffy fan). To be honest, there are way too many other books that I'd rather read first.
I too was sucked into the Twilight hoopla, but my excuse is that I work in a bookstore and I needed to know about the product... I too thought that they weren't the best example of writing and that Bella was way too bland.
Now to the what if... I would stick with him, I think. But I would probably sleep in steel pjs.
Unfortunately I am too far away to attend your reading... but I will be sending good thoughts your way!
The writing is TERRIBLE. AWFUL. Bella annoys the hell outta me. And I bought and finished the second book the same night that I rented the movie. Because I just had to know what the hell happened next. Hubby was out of town, so no one witnessed this shameful behavior. The writing improved a bit in the second book--perhaps she got some serious help "editing" this time around. Sigh. I will probably see the second movie in the theater, walking in wearing dark glasses and a big hat just in case I come across anyone I know.
I tend to be a late comer to pop culture stuff too and will often resist stuff with too much hype. I resisted Titanic for a long time (but ended up loving it), when Batman was huge back in my 20's I refused to see the movies. I didn't even read Harry Potter until about a year and a half ago. I'm still resisting the whole twilight thing. I will say though that I Loved the Anne Rice vampire chronicles that I read (I think the 1st 4?) although I didn't love the movie Interview With A Vampire.
I never made it past the first few chapters of the first Twilight book, but I did find Cleolinda's recaps of them highly entertaining! Links here (includes spoilers): http://cleoland.pbworks.com/Twilight
What's really scary is I know a couple of people who actually think the writing is *good*!
I finished all 4 books in the past month and a half. I couldn't put them down. I had to know what happened. Plus, who could beat all the steamy love scenes?
Keep reading, I believe that with each book it gets better.
Twilight - gah! My 11 year old step-son was reading them last year and I picked one up to ensure it wasn't sexy. Not only was it not sexy, it was boring and poorly written. Never strayed past the first flick through. Definitely have not seen the movies and am not interested. Oh, and I loathed Titanic too.
If the Big Guy was a vamp I would stick with him - maybe I'd beg him to bite me and make me one of the undead too. Then live forever all pretty and pale, oh, and murderous.
I am SO happy to hear that someone else thought this about the books. I read them-quickly- but thought they were awful in the same way you did!
AAAH! I bought the cheapest version of Twilight that I could find and packed it as one of 7 books that I was hoping would last me through my month in Germany. I kept it until last, knowing that I really wasn't interested, that the other books I brought were so much more my thing, and that it was a book of last resort, one that I could decide to throw away to save the weight in my bag on the way back, etc.
And AAAAH! I had the same. exact. reaction. I did. I thought the writing was fucking horrible, but I could not put it down. I mean, how creepy! He stalks her! He watches her sleep! He wants to drink her blood! But yet- I sped through it, declining an afternoon bike tour, just to stay in bed and read it (in fairness, I wasn't feeling up to a bike ride anyway, but still). And then I searched her website, where I read the 260 page Edward's Perspective version of Twilight, because there are no bookstores in Uelsen, where we were staying. And then, the following week found me searching out English-language bookstores in Amsterdam, just to see if I could find a reasonably priced copy of any of the rest of the books (I could not.). I found plenty of other books. I found lovely, wonderful books that I might not have noticed had I not been searching foreign bookstores, and now, I have more great books to read than I really needed to bring home in my luggage.
But still. I am sitting here wondering if there are any bookstores open on the 4th so I can go and get the rest of them...
Sigh. Sad to admit, but true.
And according to Ms. Meyer's own opinion of herself, the writing gets MUCH better in subsequent books, seeing as she admits that the first one was not written to ever see a real audience and the rest were. So, here's to hoping...
And yes. In so many ways, my weight-loss journey has mirrored my feelings regarding infertility. Hey, I think I wrote a post about that, actually- the one I submitted for Creme de la Creme. So yes. Very common ties between those two "conditions".
Happy 4th of July, my little firecracker.
I read all 4 of those damned Twilight books in 3 days. I was almost ashamed of myself! I have redeemed myself (in my own eyes only) by refusing to see the movie. Twisted logic, but my logic nonetheless. Also, I don't like the guy they have playing Edward. I think it should have been Chase Crawford. Yowza!
If Kevin told me he was a vampire, that would be AWESOME. He could take care of any kid that woke up during the night because, you know, he wouldn't be sleeping. He could also clean the basement, organize the office, and do all of the laundry while we slept. Sweet! Then there's the part where he's got super human strength and is smokin' hot. All good things.
You know I'll be there next Sunday. You had me at "please come" but once you threw in the Tom Waits there was no way in hell I was missing it. Wild, bloodthirsty vampires couldn't keep me away from P&P to see you!
I love, love, love vampire books but still haven't picked up the Twilight series. If you want some really good recommendations, holler.
Oh, my, I was exactly the same with the Twilight books... I read each of them, one a day, during winter break. Then, I found out the professor I was to TA under had assigned Twilight, and though I could understand devouring them, I could NOT re-read it.
Thanks for this blog. It brings so much comfort to me as I'm beginning to face what it might mean to deal with trying to have a baby...
- Molly
http://roots-andwings.blogspot.com/
Thank you! Every time I say that the writing in the first book is terrible, people look at me as if I've blasphemed something sacred! The story gets better towards the end of the book and her writing gets better in subsequent books. Book 3 was the best. The last half of book 4 should have gone in the trash can.
I have to laugh at your assessment of Twilight. I *totally* agree with everything you said. My MIL bought me the 4-book series for Christmas, so luckily I didn't feel any guilt about giving Stephanie Meyer my money OR about obsessive pouring over some of the worst writing ever.
I mean, I can't offend my MIL when she asks if I've read the books, can I?
As I read your description of the horror that is Twilight I couldn't help pointing and laughing at myself. That is exactly how I got hooked. I thought, everyon seems pretty hyped up about this Twilight thing and the boy vampire is pretty, maybe I should watch it. Now, I'm down a good 10 viewings and have read all four books twice and I hate myself for it. The books are terrible. The writing is awful, and none of the characters are particularly likable. Bella is hands down my least favorite heroine in all literature. Yet, I read and watch and hold my breath for freaking New Moon. It's insane.
As to your weekly what if... if G came home and was all, I need to kill, but I won't, I would so leave. On the other hand, if G looked like Robert Pattinson, I might stick it out. LOL!
Basically, the series is craptacular - so bad it's good. It's like crack. You know it's bad for you but you can't put it down...like Bella just can't quit Edward.
I haven't dared to pick it up.. but I can watch the movie on mute over and over again to catch the Oregon backgrounds -- ah home!!
I have noticed that my um.. 'literary' tastes this year have become not so literary lately though so perhaps I might need a bit of crack lit on my next plane ride (just need to give myself a bit of permission lately). I think it is because my life feels a bit like russian novel at the moment - I don't want any big,. perfect sentences in my reading just at the moment.
Twilight had the same effect on me. I kept thinking "this writing is so terrible," but also could not put the books down. I ended up finishing the series around 2:30 am, and my hands were actually shaking because I was so tense. I think her writing gets better as the series goes along, (or maybe it's just that I got used to it).
I also did not like Titanic! Real people do not begin every sentence they say with someone's name. "Rose, you...," "Jack, are you..." Made me crazy.
Ditto your comments on Bella & writing. Gah. Horrible. A good editing would do wonders to keep the story line but lose the overabundance of words.
As for True Blood - I watched the first series and have read most of the books in print (waiting on the last from the library) and the books are so, so, so much better than the show. FYI:The show does not follow the book exactly.
1) The entire Twilight series is horrible. And I CAN'T STOP READING it! Stop giving Meyer your money and check the books out of the library.
2) TOM WAITS COOKIES!!!! YAY!!! Um, am excited to see you too, but come on, you know I'm there to Bogart all the cookies.
3) Weekly What-If: Given all the other crap that JD and I go through, I probably wouldn't be surprised if he came out with the vampire thing.
The Twilight series helped me survive my TWW! Yes, it's awful but so addicting.
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