Mrs. Spock's comment triggered a thought. I often will leave myself notes in my datebook after a loss to remind myself to check in on the person months down the road. This may take all of the passion out of the act to have it essentially scheduled, but I know without that reminder, I'll forget. I'll move on because it won't be in the forefront of my thoughts, even though the loss is probably still in the forefront of the mind of the primary mourner.
I realized when Mrs. Spock wrote: "I feel a responsibility as a tertiary mourner to comment on a blog, and then continue to do so long afterwards. It seems that there is usually a huge influx of support after a terrible event, and then it dwindles down as weeks and even months pass. I think of widows who want their loss to be remembered 6 months after the loss, but everyone else has moved on. I try to fulfill that wish by hanging in there and continuing to comment later" that there is something simple we can do.
We can schedule a reminder to reach out months later on LFCA. In other words, each day, I can click back three or four months and pick out people who needed support then and remind people that they may still need support now. I can begin doing this on Monday with no trouble. It is simply cutting-and-pasting. I can also add a category to the form called The Way Back Machine where people can leave news that happened months ago in which they still would like support. For instance, a death in the family.
My questions are these: (1) would it be helpful? If you have gone through a mourning process on your blog, did you find comments and support dropped off long before you had your needs fulfilled? Or is getting that support months down the road not necessary? (2) could it be potentially upsetting to find yourself in that category and be reminded of an old wound if you weren't expecting it that day? Or is it silly to think that the wound was ever closed? Would it be more meaningful to receive that support when you least expected it or would it ruin your day?
The problem with the LFCA is that unless a person specifically asks me not to post news (or if it is on a password protected blog), I post things I read and things people mail in through the form. We put it to a vote about a year and a half ago when the LFCA began that I'd just add without checking in with everyone since it was out there anyway. In other words, if everyone could find it on their own, the LFCA was merely pointing people in the right direction to celebrate or support. But I would want to hear if you've had a negative experience with the LFCA--if you saw your news posted and wished it hadn't been. I can always remove news at someone's request, but, of course, you can't truly unring the bell.
Your thoughts on this new section?