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Monday, June 23, 2008

Hmmm, That Is Interesting

At any given time, I am worrying about eight different things. There are certain thoughts that have occupied one of those slots for years ("oh? This old worry? I've had that one for aaaaaaaaages. I don't even remember where I got it") but at least two or three slots are reserved for current crises.

But here's the interesting thing, when one crises is resolved--and even if it isn't "resolved" in the neat sense of the word; when the best or worst possibilities come true; when time moves along and I'm still moving forward and breathing and functioning--I learn nothing from it to apply to the other crises. I still worry just as much. I needlessly worry as if it's my job.

(Note to self: google "worry for pay" tomorrow when I get a second)

This past weekend something that had been occupying a slot happened and passed. I had spent hours worrying about it; hours crying about it; hours calling up old friends to catch up so I could spend some time talking about it with someone other than Josh who had endured enough 11 p.m. what if sessions. And it was a lovely day. The sky was blue. I wore a sundress. I came home happy.

Josh said to me: "what did you learn from this? That perhaps the worrying is for nothing and things work out in the end and when they don't work out, we keep living regardless?"

What I learned was that a slot was now free and I had to worry about which big ticket item to put in the empty space.

Dumber than a napkin.


Lori said...

Some people expand or contract their work to fit their allotted time.

Others -- very wise people like, oh, you and me -- expand or contract their worry to fit their alloted mindspace.

At least you are a cloth napkin. I think I am paper.

luna said...

that's not dumb, it's just prioritizing. and I think lori is right.

Jess said...

I wish I could learn to prioritize my worry.

I just get all frantic instead.

bleu said...

You need to explain to Josh it is who you are, a goddess Jewess who worries, he should be so lucky to have nabbed your prized self. ;)

I wish I could not always worry over the same things.

Kim said...

Yep, me too! Makes perfect sense to me!

kirke said...

I think everyone has a worry box. If I have no real worries in my box, I will fill it with something small, like whether or not I shut off the curling iron. I will find SOMETHING to worry about.

Mama said...

OMG, Mel, we are exactly the same way in this sense. I think DH has even said before, after one worry has passed for me, "So, what are you going to worry about now?" because he KNOWS I'll find something. I actually inherited tihs from my mother so I think it's genetic. And incidentially, I can look at her and see how harmful this trait is. But it doesn't necessarily stop me from doing it myself.
PS- your worry from this weekend WAS totally unnecessary :)

Somewhat Ordinary said...

I am the exact same way and my husband comments that if I didn't have something to worry about that would make me worry!

j said...

I'm just impressed that you've managed to keep the list down to eight. Incredible.

Nic said...

Bizarrely I was going to post the very same thing today. Not word for word of course. That would be plagarism, and then I'd worry that a) everyone would hate me as I am fairly new to blogging and have one of those 'lonely' blogs you read about on milk cartons and b) (always law-abiding) I'd get in trouble. Excellent really, now I can worry about what to blog about.

Jendeis said...

"Worry for pay" Greatest. Idea. Ever.

Are you sure we're not related?

You need to get yourself a copy of Very Worried Walrus.

Lisa said...

We're jewish women. We worry. We accept that as part of our reality!

Amy said...

Love it. So true! And I thought Josh was the one dumber than a napkin...I mean, if there's space, of coure that should be filled with the next worry. Duh.

Tigger said...

OMG - this is SO totally me! And my husband, bless him, fully agrees. My mother always used to say "If you didn't have something to worry about, you'd create something." It's true. Even when I know I'm needlessly worrying and stirring myself into a frenzy, I do it anyways. People tell me "you worry too much" to which I reply "it's my job."

Also? It prevents others from having to worry. Aaron knows I have it covered, so he doesn't need to. If there's a situation, you can bet I've worried my way through it and thought of all the problems...and am worrying about those too. He, on the other hand, is the problem SOLVER. I worry about them, he fixes them! We're a team!

nutsinmay said...

Hello, are you my long-lost twin sister? For verily, I do insist on having my worry-boxes well-filled.

chicklet said...

I do the same thing. If i have nothing to worry about, I find something to fill that slot.

LJ said...

You mean worrying about any and everything, but in succession isn't the norm? I always thought it was ;)

Bea said...

Sometimes, my mother worries that she doesn't have enough to worry about. And then she worries that she worries too much.

Just in case you run out.