The Daily News

LFCA Latest Issue: Friday, September 25, 2009.

Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

My Status: Fed Josh's almonds to the squirrels. They needed them very badly.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Friday Blog Roundup

As you may have now heard, I am going to be speaking at BlogHer this summer. This is but one of the many things dotting my "fear" list, though this one covers many categories including flying and public speaking. You'll know it's me because I'll be the one either asleep from all the Ativan at the baggage claim or crying nervously in the lobby of the hotel. I am also, apparently, buying all the alcohol this trip.

The panel, which was kicked into action by Pamela Jeanne (it is her hard work and good thoughts that brought an IF panel to BlogHer), will be comprised of Pamela Jeanne, Lori, Monica, and me. I will be moderating which I take to mean that I have free-reign to ask all of the most embarrassing, pressing questions that are on IF bloggers minds. Thongs or bikini cut? Have you ever had an ovulation-induced quickie in the library stacks? How about in a public restroom?

Um...I'm just kidding. Or am I? I guess you'll have to come to BlogHer and find out...

This is my first time at BlogHer. I imagine it like the computer equivalent to the 1971 sweat-under-the-nose period-synchronizing experiment where all of these women go there and they come back posting at the same rate and on the same schedule. Someone will be the alpha and start posting on Mondays, Tuesdays, Fridays, and Sundays between 8-9 a.m. and then, like our periods coming into line when we spend too much time together wiping each other's faces with our underarm sweat, we'll all start posting on Mondays, Tuesdays, Fridays, and Sundays. And then the Google Reader bitching will commence each Wednesday and Thursday when there is nothing to read.

If you've been to BlogHer, what can I expect? Someone who loves me dearly and knows my penchant for wearing the wrong thing has warned me not to show up in my usual cargo shorts and t-shirt. Is this true? Do I need to wear...gasp...real shoes and not flip flops? Will there be recess where we can go out and play? Will I have time to make plans to see my cousin in San Francisco who just happens to be getting married this weekend (happy wedding, sweetie!)? Does everyone bring their computer?

And if you're going to BlogHer this summer, let me know so we can all meet up and have an enormous love fest in San Francisco. Also let me know if you're in California or going to be in San Francisco at that time separate from BlogHer. I need to get in all of my West Coast meet-ups since who knows when I'll collect up enough Ativan again to fly out there. Also, I find it very amusing that we're speaking right before Dooce since I have been described as "blander than Dooce." I am vanilla pudding to her pistachio and I am the use-it-as-a-bathroom-break opening act to her main stage show. I am actually very excited to hear her speak, but I only hope that I'm introduced with the superlative "blander than."

So...that's the BlogHer news. And if you needed incentive to come out to California this summer, I am apparently opening a brick-and-mortar version of the Virtual Lushary.

How about instead of "shove this in your eyehole" and I use the more benign, "how you like those bloggles?" Blapples? Blogapples? It sounds a little like a blogging version of bagels.

Niobe at Dead Baby Jokes had a post about shadow babies, specifically her step-brother's child who she has never met. She writes: "The shadow babies, the mirror children, the ones born alive and healthy at almost exactly the same time ours were . . . not. The ones whose existence and whose families' wholeness seem to mock us. "This is what you wanted," the whispering voices say, "This is what we stole from you. This is what you will never have". Almost a year ago, I wrote a post about my own shadow baby -- my step-brother's little girl who was born within a week or so of what would have been the twins' due date." She muses about what if she saw this brother and the situation doesn't have an easy answer. It was simply a moving post.

Sassy from From the Peanut Gallery has a post titled "Counterfeit Infertile" where she writes: "I bashfully concede that I have been indulging in an activity most die-hard pregnant infertiles leave for the third trimester (and the end of said trimester if at all possible). I have been shopping. For my babies...Yes, this is all assuming I manage to hold on to this Embarassment of Riches pregnancy—something I actually find myself assuming. What the hell is wrong with me?
I am well aware that such activities and attitude do not appear to be the norm for infertility-bloggers-who-have-managed-to-get-knocked-up. I find myself a little skeptical that this pregnancy will turn out well. But I also find that my skepticism is fading away. Does that mean I was never a “real” infertile? I mean, what bona fide infertile picks out CRIB BEDDING at 13 weeks?" I liked this post because it really puts into question whether there is a common pregnancy response post-infertility or are there expectations on how we "should" act. What do you think?

Still Passing Open Windows has a wonderful post about the conflicting emotions that mark the decision-making process and make her question where she stands on the road out of infertility. She writes: "I'm sort of in limbo. There are still possibilities and so I don't have to work on accepting a childfree life. And I am terrified of diving into that swamp because it tends to suck me down and I spend the next month spitting out black self-hatred and smelling evilly of swamp water as I slump through life with my knuckles grazing the ground like a true swamp creature (well, the swamp creatures in my mind at least) trying to avoid everyone." It is a post that so many people will relate to on so many different levels.

I was moved beyond words by the post at TKO...more or less about her egg donor experience. I think it's a must-read for anyone considering egg donation--well-written, thoughtful, and the kind of post that proves that DD has a good head on her shoulders and a heart full of warmth as well. Which, in my world, usually equates to everything being okay at the end of the road.

Oh, and I cracked up over Kate's post about her German husband at Bee in the Bonnet. And I loved this sweet, daily-thoughts post by Melanie at How to Get from 0 to Pregnant in 365 Steps. I complete understood that desire to talk with nothing to say. And yet, she managed to say some pretty profound things despite her claims to the contrary.

Not that complex a Roundup so perhaps it doesn't require its own roundup. Just lots of good things to read. And a request to join me at BlogHer. Have an excellent weekend.


Jen said...

You are not blander than Dooce! I like you better.

I wish I could go. But, if you have to wear real shoes, I doubt it will be worth it! :)

luna said...

yay! mel's coming to SF! I am so thrilled this panel got off the ground, thanks to PJ's vision and persistence. I'm so looking forward to cheering on some of my virtual posse in real life. (I'm planning to go on Sat.)

never been to blogher. SF can generally be pretty casual, but the hotel is quite nice. how long are you staying?

and btw I love vanilla. ~luna

SarahSews said...

Never been to blogher and won't be going this year (due to presumably having an infant at the time) but I do live within driving distance and would love love love to come up for a meet up! :)

I'd hate for you to be so close and not meet you!

Oh and as pp mentioned SF can be quite casual, especially when compared to DC standards, but the hotel is gorgeous and old school fancy. I've stayed there though and didn't feel out of place in jeans and sneakers. The thing to note though is that SF in summer is NOT like regular summer. It is the foggiest time of year for the city and can be quite cool compared to the rest of the area at the same time of year (like 30 degrees cooler on average compared to cities 20 miles away). So don't assume you'll live in shorts or we will find you with blue toes and wearing an overpriced tacky tourist fleece jacket.

sara said...

As far as a normal response to pregnancy post infertility, I don't think there is one. But I did go by Bab.ies R Us today and still didn't have the heart to go in even though I had a great ultrasound yesterday. Seems like everyone has different reactions!

Pamela Jeanne said...

Thanks for the shout out! Couldn't have done it without the support and encouragement of my peeps.

I'll be hyperventilating in the lobby with you, Mel. I have loads of opinions but I usually prefer to share them in writing or 1:1 so we'll get over our public speaking phobia together. Looking forward to meeting in person with the Bay area and visiting IF bloggers! For those out of towners you'll get to appreciate why I (among many others) love this part of the world so much.

Julia said...

I am hopefully going to be in no shape to travel to SF this July. Any chance they will record the panel so you can post it later for all of us to see?

About shopping... I don't think there is or should be a common response to pregnancy, IF or not. We do what we need to do to get through. That is both the name and the purpose of the game. IMHO, of course. :)

Michell said...

Ok so I'm down more towards S. Cal, about 7 hours away from SF but if I know in advance when it is you will be in the state and I can get a couple of days off work I will totally be there for any sort of meet up.

Bea said...

Congrats on speaking at blogher! Oh to be there, amongst that illustrious panel...


bleu said...

Hey now, I know where that "quickie in the stacks" question came from!!!

P.S. Is it me or has blogger suddenly made the word verification MUCH MUCH harder.

Kyran said...

my first time was last year's conference in Chicago. It was wonderful, beyond all expectations.

Two heads-up tips:

You will find yourself apologizing a lot for not reading anybody's blog. Relax. It's Blogher's little secret that none of us can keep up.

You will hear the word "high school" tossed around a lot by people who don't understand the get what you give principle. Doing a shot each time helps (do two if you hear "junior high").

I'll be there, so hope to bump into you and hear you are having a blast.

loribeth said...

As I said on Lori's blog, I am soooo jealous you will all be getting together!! But I know you will make a fabulous panel!

Aurelia said...

I'm so jealous that you are going. I wish I could be there!