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LFCA Latest Issue: Friday, September 25, 2009.

Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

My Status: Fed Josh's almonds to the squirrels. They needed them very badly.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Friday Blog Roundup

Does my blog smell? I have the same number of readers as usual this week but many fewer comments. I was just wondering if my blog smelled and people were leaving after a quick read instead of hanging around to chat about grabbing the world by the balls or at least the underwear by the elastic.

Not to be needy or anything.

But you'd tell me if my blog smelled, right?


It is a dark, grey dreary day here, reminiscent of a 1980's Weird Science-like weather. My post earlier this week about coveting has made me think about Frankensteining out the perfect blogger--as much as the woman in me is interested in building the perfect person who is assertive and creative with brushable hair (alas, the pain of the curly-haired), the writer in me is interested in piecing together all the traits I admire in so many others. So I present to you, a work in progress, my perfect blogger:

Lori's enormous heart
Allison's sweetness
Lindsay's sassiness
Leah's brassiness
Bea's philosophical nature
Julie's wittiness
Alexa's sense of humour
Julia's circumspection
Niobe's thought-provocation
Calliope's spiritedness (and boots)
Flicka's spirituality
Tash's bluntness
Cecily's brashness
Chicklet's dirty little mouth (though not her itchy cha cha)
JJ's sense of community
And it's a toss-up for me between Rememberella and Vee's layout (which is also a sense of aesthetic)

And that, of course, is only the start. I found enormous hearts, brimming with love here, here, and here, and it is good to know that there are back-up parts, but it made narrowing down the ingredients very difficult. As I started skipping down the blogroll, I realized how enormously important everyone is on it.

Similar to the butterfly effect, when any blogger disappears from the blogosphere, it creates this gap, this missing piece, this small hole. Words fall differently, support comes through new paths. I would just hate for anyone to take that for granted, to miss how integral they are inside the kaleidescope and how much they would be missed if they were gone. Not to get all weepy and kumbaya on you.

What traits would you include (and who currently holds them) if you were Frankensteining together the perfect blogger?

As you consider your own recipe, here are some things I read in the blogs this week:

How to Get From 0 to Pregnant in 365 Easy Steps had a post about the winter of her discontent. She said good riddance to winter, "I can't recall a winter in near history that has leveled me quite like this one. Days upon days of cold, gray, sad, sunless blah. Our week in St. John in January is the one event that saved me from mainlining Prozac." But that wasn't actually the part that grabbed the elastic in my underwear (since I've been abusing that image this week). It was her commentary on the solitary nature of infertility. "Infertility is very much a solitary road. Sure, I've received wonderful support both IRL and through the computer, but ultimately you're trudging through the hills by yourself without a reliable compass and with less than definitive trail markings. And at some point, you're going to be faced with a decision: keep trudging or veer off." I just liked that image of the solitary backpacker in the woods.

Once in a Lifetime has a post about how men process loss. He writes about how the roles of men and women are perceived by greater society and states, "Expectations about appropriate responses to an event stem from this distinction as well. Not just how you should act, but also how others respond to you." It's an enormously important post to read because it explains how small-minded these stereotypes can be and how damaging. He explains, "S has people asking her how she's doing, mostly being sensitive, checking in on her. For me, it's been mostly silence. I got condolences early on, but it settled very quickly into awkward silence, then less awkward silence, and now it never comes up."

This is NOT What I Ordered had a gorgeous post this week on the three year anniversary of her unfulfilled due date titled "All Through the Night." She gives wonderful advice at the beginning of the post: "At some point you have to acknowledge (even if you never accept) that the door you’ve been pounding on is not going to open to you. It doesn’t mean that there aren’t other ways in, but it does mean that you have to stop pounding and get on with looking. And living. Or maybe it’s just taken this long to realize that the only way forward is to stop looking back—in sorrow, anguish, and regret—at the loss of that could-have-been person, and instead to make it my business to live a life that honors her*. To just get on with it and become the person I like to think I could have been (would have been, should have been) as her mother." Please click over and read the entire post in its aching beauty.

Lastly, Apron Strings for Emily had a post about what she gets from reading infertility blogs. She is drawn to some particular subgroups of infertility blogs and writes about the attraction, "
But truly, I think it’s because these are the people that have seem to write about the same fears and hopes that I am feeling at this exact moment." I also love this post for this final thought: "So what’s the purpose of this post? Well … really, I guess there is none. Other than to wish that I might have found this type of support (and outlet for my IF frustrations) years ago … because maybe then I wouldn’t have felt so lonely for so long." I'm glad you're not alone anymore.

Perhaps the Roundup is not long enough to warrant a roundup to the Roundup, but perhaps it is a grey, dreary day where you are too and a good time to Frankenstein your own perfect blogger together. A great way to introduce others to the traits of your favourite blogs...

Oh! And head over to the IIFF tonight and through the weekend for the online film festival. International films from the comfort of your own home.


Fertilized said...

You always have the greatest ideas with the perfect words that explain them so nice and neat.

Zee said...

Thanks for the link, Mel. And for the kind words. "A gorgeous post," you said. Wow! You made me tear up...

chicklet said...

Seriously, I think you're missing out not having an itchy cha cha. My dirty mouth might be fun, but my itchy chacha, it's a freakin blast! :-)

As for what I'd piece together, in my perfect blogger, I think you've captured most of it but I'd also add in Chris (at Love, Hope, and Faith)'s never-ending positivity, more humor from My Dear Watson, and some damned frank and honest opinions from Karen at the Perky Ovary.

Andria and Co. said...

Darnit, you just made me add some bloggers to my ever-expanding reader! ;)

Melanie said...

Yes, your blog smells...of freshly baked bread, chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven, a perfectly mixed dirty martini, and, of course, a nice big red wine for later. You do so much for this community of which I never knew existed until mere months ago. Shame on those of us, well me, for not singing that from the rooftops more often.

KimboSue said...

As a matter of fact, you do smell, Snatch! LOL As always, you have the right words to say.

JJ said...

You don't smell Mel=) Hehe, couldn't help it.

There are truly amazing women in this community--including you. You HAVE to be a part of that Frankenstein. Thanks for putting together that list--I was able to visit some I had not yet read!

Jen said...

Well, I finally have a sense of smell, but I can't smell your blog at all. (But let me add here that I wish the internet could process smells because of some of the recipes I see online.)

I always obsess when I get fewer comments or fewer readers. For example, my hit rate is way down these last two days and I am worried that I am being boring. :) But, as much as I try to figure out a reason, it just seems to be random.

Jess said...

Your blog totally smells, but it smells good, like SALTED CARAMELS WHICH YOU HAVE NOT SHARED THER RECIPE TO. Perhaps if you shared, people would come back? Hmmmm?

No, I've noticed the slow blogging, too. It's not just you.

Alyson & Ford said...

Oh yeah, the blog's smellig for sure. Smelling orange blossom sweet and chock full of good things for all...


Io said...

Oh, I didn't want to say anything about the smell...
I have starred your last 3 or 4 entries on my google reader and read them several times and then not thought of anything good to say for a couple days and then you post a new entry and I feel stupid posting on the old entry so I star the new one and think about it and then you post a new's a vicious cycle. I'm just slow is all.

Celeste said...

for me, (although I'm not a regular commenter), blog reading can be a very casual, end of day activity... if i haven't really internalized a post, i feel like i shouldn't comment. i noticed this week that your topics were very close to your heart, so i knew i'd have to go back later and read more closely!

your blog always smells of sweet pomegranates! mmmmm!

Tash said...

I'm honored (blush) that you like me for teh Blunt. I'm a bit depressed you don't like me for the harp playing, uplifiting and rampant positivism.

Maybe I need to work on that. /wink

Off to read some blogs, thanks again Mel. Oh, and I got a whiff of something vaguely vanilla and fresh soap.

Anonymous said...

Sweetness. Hmmm, don't know me very well. Honestly, there are plenty of days when I'm evil personified. But, thanks! I'm proud to be a part of the Frankenblogger.

Yes, the sea salt caramel recipe must be shared. I've never had to fight Shannon for candy before. I even had to resort to trying Haagen Whatever's new sea salt and caramel flavor of ice cream. Not as good.

I imagine your blog smells a lot like the coffee house I used to go to every weekend...fresh roasted beans, cinnamon buns in the oven, a pot of soup simmering away.... I think being in the spring break zone is what slows the comments down. There's always a slump around Easter while people take their vacations. I'm not sure what my excuse for not commenting is. Laziness, I'm sure. Although, I HAVE been trying to find occasion to use "Grab your underpants by the elastic" in a conversation. THat should count for something.

Geohde said...

If your blog smells, then *mine* realy needs a good going over to see just where it is that someone hid the rotten kipper :)


PJ said...

Laughing at Io's comment! She's a mess and I love her!

I also love your Friday Roundup.

And I completely agree with your sentiments about How to get from 0 to pregnant in 365 easy steps. I also absolutely loved the imagery in that post. She is quite the writer and I look forward to her posts.

Thanks for being the queen! You are a wealth of knowledge.

Antigone said...

I thought I was the only one with a smellivision

Vacant Uterus said...

I am flattered and humbled that you would include me in your Frankenstein for my faith. I feel like a mess most of the time. Your words are so encouraging.

And your blog doesn't smell at all. Okay, maybe a little bit. Like caramels. Mmmm. My sielnce has been because I need to post about Team on the Road and I keep getting smashed by life every time I try to write about it. And then I feel like I can't comment on the next entry until I've taken care of the one before it. Control issues, I have them.

If I could include another blogger in the Frankenstein, I'd include Lassie from Eggs Benedict for her compassion. She's been a shoulder for me to cry on more than once in this journey.

Leah said...

Dearest Snatch,

Your blog looks like a monkey, and it smells like one too!

Ms. Brassy

Okay, obviously kidding. No smellage coming from your blog. You know I'm just an obvious, hopeless lazy ass when it comes to commenting sometimes and perhaps I've enticed others to come to the dark side of sluggish commenting. If so, I humbly apologize.

It doesn't mean I've stopped reading. Or loving on your stuff. Not one little bit. I'm just a sloth. I'm sorry.

As you saw at the last meeting of the TOOTPU gals, I've hacked off almost a foot of my curly, disastrous mess I call hair. Now it's the new, improved Leah: sleek, short hair with a GIANT PUFFY NASTY face to round out the look. Tres chic! I'm so hot these days, I can barely keep my hands off myself. Um, not so much.

Michell said...

No, your blog doesn't smell. It's wonderful. I of course can't speak for anyone else but lately I seem to have a heck of a time commenting on anyones blog. I think I even missed the last virtual lushary.

TeamWinks said...

Pamela Jeann's balls of steal.

Sharah's analytical side.

I'm sure there's more.

Lack of comments, because things are just plain hectic over in my camp. :-)

Oh, Mel, what is that smell anyway?

JamieDH said...

I can't believe it! I have been so busy checking out the blogs you linked to, I forgot to comment on yours! Bad Jamie!!

MsPrufrock said...

I'm glad it's not just me - my comments are almost nonexistent lately, and it genuinely gets me down. Am I lame, or what?

Thanks for the Frankensteining blogger feature, it was really interesting and I'm not familiar with all of the bloggers listed. I need to hit an even 200 feeds on bloglines, so cheers for that!

MrsSpock said...

Your blog petunias.

Bea said...

You can Frankenstein, but don't overdo it - this blogworld needs a Melissa, Stirrup Queen in that mix.

Also blushing at being on the list.

As for the slow blogging lately - it's true, there has been a marked downturn. I'm sure it's swings and roundabouts and will pick up eventually, which is unfortunate, really - probably means there'll be new sufferers.


Barb said...

I know for me, I've just been really busy and don't like to comment unless I can read the entry fully and really have something to say. So I would say your blog doesn't smell. :) It's just a meaty, satisfying blog that takes full digesting. And when you're running around like a crazy lady, that's harder to do. How's that for turning things around? ;-)

LJ said...

Yeah, bitch. You bet your ass I'm sassy. *sniff sniff* Nah, you smell okay. Kinda like you've been baking or something.

bleu said...

You smell lovely, as always.

xavier2001 said...

Guility as charged on the commenting thing, I've been reading but not commenting. Life has been crazy (even though that's no excuse).

Headed over to the IIFF now!

Kim said...

Nope, no foul or obnoxious odor detected here. I have noticed that my comments are down too. But I have gone from one or two down to none. Where is everyone? "Lucy you got some 'splaining to do!"

Julia said...

I had a crazy week, and am only now catching up.
Thank you.

beagle said...

Forgive me sister, for I have sinned, it has been 13 days since my last comment . . .

(For the record, all I smell is cranberry oatmeal cookies, but I think that is just wishful thinking on my dieting part.)

Lori said...

I can't believe I didn't respond to this post. I've been walking around with a Frankenglow for 2 weeks now!

Thanks so much for including me on this fantastic list of bloggy parts. I am truly honored.

And you smell like roses, dahling.