The Daily News

LFCA Latest Issue: Friday, September 25, 2009.

Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

My Status: Fed Josh's almonds to the squirrels. They needed them very badly.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Your Pseudonym in Ink--Part One

Feh--your name in lights is overrated. And theater work means leaving your cozy living room and doing your hair and all sorts of personal hygiene things that don't impact participating in a book. I'm just saying. As my deadline for the manuscript ticks ever closer, expect more of these questions.

Read this: Two things: (1) you can either email me a response directly or you can leave it in the comments section below. You can also grab this question as a topic for a post on your own blog, write a long response, and then email me the url for the post. (2) in either case, if you have not been interviewed in the past by me or participated in one of these before, provide a pseudonym that I can use for the quote (aim for semi-common such as Jane, Alicia, Tamara over descriptive such as Uterus-of-Doom-Lady). And include a way to get in touch with you--email address, blog url, etc--in case I have a follow-up question.

So, the topic I'm posing today is the criteria you used for making the choices you've made so far on your journey.

Let's say that there are four main paths out of infertility: treatments (and this is anything used to treat the problem--from timed intercourse and alternative therapies to IVF, ICSI, and assisted hatching), third party reproduction (donor gametes and surrogacy), adoption, and living child-free.

You may have tried multiple paths, therefore, each time state which path you are speaking about out of the four, and the criteria you used to make your decisions. Did you forgo IVF due to religious reasons or embrace it due to personal beliefs? Were there familial or societal pressures unique to your situation that pushed you down one path rather than another? Did you follow in the footsteps of friends or other family members or forge your own path unique to other people around you? Was your decision clear-cut or did you agonize over the choices? Did you create a flow-chart or simply go along with whatever your RE/adoption agency director suggested? If you have a partner, did you make choices together or did one of you have a stronger hand in the decision making?

Equally interesting is commentary on the lack of criteria. To be honest about our own choices (as in Josh and my own), I'm not sure how many of them were made thoughtfully (as in full of thought) and how many were made because we were going with the flow, trying the next thing, and generally trusting that our RE knew the bigger picture. Granted, not all paths bring with it the same level of questioning, but all decisions should be made with mindfulness and in the interest of full disclosure, I'm not sure how much mindfulness was going on in our end. There were flow charts from time to time. That said, this second time around, there is a lot more mindfulness. Same choices made, but this time knowing why we're making them over others. If that makes any sense. At the same time, you may not have even realized that you were using criteria (feelings about a certain treatment, a comfort level with western medicine, a bad experience somewhere in your past that relates to IF) until you think about it. And probably, if I searched, I would realize there were reasons why we made the choices we did the first time around.

By the way, for the future, each time I do one of these, the post will be titled: Your Pseudonym in Ink. Another one is definitely coming later this week. And I thank you profusely in advance for helping make this book multidimensional instead of simply my own little stunted point-of-view.


kate said...

Hmm. That's a lot to think about.
Path we are currently on: timed intercourse
Reason? Well, I think that the more I think about why we haven't taken more serious treatment steps, the more I think it relates to the fact that I have a serious mistrust of the medical community. I went for years and years with serious symptoms of PCOS, and despite pleading often for some sort of answer to the myriad symptoms I was experiencing, I was largely disregarded by the clinic I was seeing back in my teens and early 20s.
Only recently have I found a doctor who pretty much spontaneously diagnosed PCOS (ordering lots of bloodwork on a hunch that I might suffer from this, with no mention of symptoms on my part), and beyond that, seems to genuinely believe whatever I tell her my latest malady might be. Along with that, I have (apparently) had gallstones for the last 10 years that have been flaring up periodically, but never had a doctor that believed the severity of my symptoms. I was told that I was having bad acid reflux and to cut out spicy food. It was only during a CT scan for another issue that this gallstone thing was uncovered.

So, I say all of this to point out that my experience with medicine and conclusions from that experience have until recently been confirmed and re-confirmed that it's apparently all in my head. And so, with my recent lady-bits doctor, I have, for the first time, found someone that not only believes me, but wants to treat me. And she feels that Met.formin will do the trick. And therefore, it is really hard for me to look at her and say, "I've given this "treatment" over a year, and have seen no results. Please recommend an RE for me." I know that she has my best interest at heart, and I don't think she would lead me astray, but here I find myself, knowing that it's not all in my head. I suppose that's the blessing of infertility. It's impossible for the symptoms to only be in your head. You either have a live baby or you don't. It's impossible for a doctor to look at you and not believe that you're simply lying about not getting knocked up. I mean, I suppose one could attempt to lie to their doctor about their fertility, but why? I mean, I know that there are all kinds of inbetweens, and secondary infertility, and undiagnosable infertility, etc. but I just can't imagine that after stating conception intentions to a doctor and coming up more than a year later with no conceptions that a reasonable doctor could say that you are only "pretending" or that your symptoms are psychosomatic. I'm sure it happens, but the point is that there is hard evidence that you are infertile, displayed by the lack of live baby 9 months later.

But still. I have fears that when I do eventually get up the gumption to see an RE that they will focus solely on my prior PCOS diagnosis and ignore other possible causes.

So, in short, why I have found myself right now on the path that I am on relates to fear. I'm not entirely sure I want to know in what other bizarre ways my body is broken. I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to fight for diagnosis. And after decades of being told that it's all in my head, I'm not sure I could handle being told by an RE that I should continue on the path that I am currently on, 'cos it's all in my head. And honestly, the sheer intensity of diagnoses in the last year have left me feeling like I'm a bad patient somehow, like I wasn't describing my symptoms with enough fervor to be taken seriously. And on top of everything, there is the fear of the more invasive treatments and tests in general. I'm terrified of what they will find and what that will mean for treatment. I hate needles. I'm deathly afraid of my upcoming gallbladder surgery. I'm scared of the physical pain.

So until I'm ready to confront the bounty of fears surrounding tests, treatments, my believeability as a patient, etc., I sincerely doubt that my husband and I will do anything other than attempt to time intercourse correctly. And even though that has obviously not been working for the last 18 cycles, it's where we will continue to stay until such time as I am ready to take a deep breath and dive in.

You can pseudonym me as Anne.

Sunny said...

We had mapped out the steps with the less aggressive due to moral/ethic/religious beliefs. We never thought we would have to go down the list. Especially after we were given hope getting pregnant on our own.

As we have gone through our checklist, timed intercourse, testing, RE, IUI, and now IVF we never thought we would have to go to the next. With each move we just trusted each other to make the decision. We didn't talk with our parents. We just wen through our little list.

Now with the big step towards IVF it was the only next step. Years ago we had so NO to it. But now it is our last box on our checklist besides adoption. We are tired of almost canceled and canceled cycles. Tired of waiting.

I always thought we would go in for guidance through our pastor and really hash our thoughts on IVF out. It reminds me of before I got married. I had always said I would fast and pray before I said yes. I never did. I just knew it was the right answer. I feel the same with our IVF decision. It felt right. We were desperate for life. We had already hashed it all out in our heads for years, we just never voiced it.

Just call me Sunny. :)

Stacie said...

Path I am currently on: parenting 3 month old twins just out of the NICU and considering trying for another before I get too "old" and my eggs dry up because of high fsh.

How we got there: 3 iuis, 3 ivfs, 2 miscarriages, loads of medication--including steroids and lovenox, and more money than I had possibly imagined.

Diagnosis: high fsh at 32 (13) and unexplained. After my c-section, we found I have wonky tubes that were fused to my intestines and surrounded by scar tissue. (would have been nice to know that at the start of all of this!)

Did you forgo IVF due to religious reasons or embrace it due to personal beliefs? I embraced the whole idea of getting assistance to help me conceive. The technology was out there, and I was hell bent on using everything available to help me get the child I so desperately wanted. Even though I wanted it so bad and had no qualms about using ivf, I told very few people in my real life that I was doing it. There are some people in my family (and my husband's) who still don't know that ivf was the path that led to the babies. Why? I don't know. I suppose it was because I just didn't want to go there with the explanations and insensitive remarks, especially because I was fortunate enough to be blessed with twins.

Did you follow in the footsteps of friends or other family members or forge your own path unique to other people around you? I had one friend who went through the beginnings of clomid about thirty years ago. She was desperate for a baby and totally got my overwhelming desire. My husband's brother and sil also did ivf several times, but have been unsuccessful--and was about ten years ago. Our experiences through the ivf world were unique, though, because things have changed so much since brother and sil went through it.

Was your decision clear-cut or did you agonize over the choices? I wanted a baby. Plain and simple. I dreaded spending the money and felt guilty when the dollars began to add up, but it didn't deter me from my goal. I wanted to keep going until the money was gone. (thankfully we were able to get a second loan on our house and didn't need to use it all)

Did you create a flow-chart or simply go along with whatever your RE/adoption agency director suggested? I researched like crazy on everything that I could think of doing. When my RE suggested something, off I went to dr. google to try and understand what he said and if it was the "best" choice for us. I was the one who suggested I no longer use lupron and birth control pills because they surpressed me too much. I was the one who pushed to get tested when I kept miscarrying. Thankfully, my RE listened to me.

If you have a partner, did you make choices together or did one of you have a stronger hand in the decision making? I think for some things, we made the choices together, but for the most part, everything was driven by my desire to get pregnant. He would have been okay with whatever path gave us a kid, whether that was adoption or donation. I was driven to having a genetically linked baby. I also was the one who said when we would go through a cycle and how long we would wait in between. He said it didn't matter to him much because I was the one who had to do the "work" so to speak.

And if you use this stuff, just call me stacie (not much of a pseudonym I guess, but that doesn't matter)

Hmm...I feel like I highjacked your comments. Hope it wasn't too long.

loribeth said...

Path I am currently on: childless/free living

How we got there: 2.5 years of ttc (on our own) after 10 years of marriage, one pregnancy that ended in stillbirth after 26 weeks, another year of ttc (accompanied by thermometer, charts, OPKs, etc.). About two more years that included testing, several rounds of clomid and three IUIs with injectables.

Diagnosis: never very clear or clearly articulated to me. Bicornuate uterus, wonky hormones/ovulation patterns, aging eggs, low sperm count and general aging issues for both of us.

Did you forgo IVF due to religious reasons or embrace it due to personal beliefs? We did not do IVF, not because of religious reasons, but because we were afraid of the financial, emotional & physical toll it would take on us. IUIs had been stressful enough in themselves. We also took a good look at our odds for success, all things considered, and they were not promising.

Did you follow in the footsteps of friends or other family members or forge your own path unique to other people around you? We knew very few people who had been down this path (or who would admit to it).

Was your decision clear-cut or did you agonize over the choices? Oh yes, we agonized!!

Did you create a flow-chart or simply go along with whatever your RE/adoption agency director suggested?

I wouldn't say we totally went along with whatever was suggested. I did a LOT of reading & Googling. No flow charts, though. ; )

If you have a partner, did you make choices together or did one of you have a stronger hand in the decision making?

We made choices together, but sometimes my voice was stronger, sometimes his. I was the one who pushed for testing. I figured that we owed it to ourselves to find out -- perhaps there was just a minor problem that could be "fixed" simply. Of course, it's a slippery slope. We wound up consulting an infertility counsellor about how just far we should pursue this, and came up with the goal of three IUI cycles with injectables. After those three failed, we went back to her to discuss our next steps, and that's how we wound up living childfree. I had a half-hearted idea that we should try IVF at least once, because it was there, but my dh was the stronger voice this time -- he saw what the stress was doing to me & said it was not worth it.

Here are links to two posts that answer several of your questions in more detail:

Feel free to use anything from them... I think I have given you a psudonym before that you can use.

luna said...

hey, what's the deadline for this? I'm task oriented but will be away a few days. I'd like to respond later in the week if it's not too late... ~luna

chicklet said...

The other comments are long so now I won't feel so bad. And feel free to email me if this isn't clear...

Our path so far is just treatments. We've talked loosely about adoption and about being child-free but we aren't quite ready to give up on our own kid just yet so it's all treatments all the time. Depending how IVF#2 goes, we may start talking about the other options much more seriously as we're both reaching our breaking point, and by breaking point, I mean patience with being in limbo, with not knowing where it'll go, how much we can spend on other things, if we can pre-book big trips, etc.

As for why we chose treatments, it's partially because we've seen it work for friends, and partially because we know we have the financial means to do this so why not exhaust this route first as our own kid coming out of my body is the preferred option for us (although if it didn't come out of my vagina that'd be a bonus!).

As for how hard the decision was, I was ready to go straight to IVF after a year - I would've skipped everything in the middle if it hadn't been for the financial side. When IUI's are $300 and IVF is $5000+, it's hard not to give the $300 option a try first. Plus IUI's are a little less invasive so feel a bit more like it was 'our' doing than medicine so feels a little less clinical which is nice at this point.

As for the partner decisions, for us, until we finished the IUI's, it really was a joint decision. He was willing to try longer, try more cheap routes, and pushed for that, when I would've jumped head on into IVF. But because it IS the two of us, I tried the other stuff first. However, once the IUI's and clomid had failed too, he said it was all completely up to me now as I'd be the one sacrificing the most with the needles and crap. He's still very much involved, and we still talk it over, but it's really all with me right now. Which I like. I don't feel like he doesn't care, I feel like he knows it's harder on me so is giving me a little control back.

JuliaS said...

Current path we are on: recovering!

Options we considered and what swayed our decisions:

A year of typical ttc with no joy shortly after marriage and shortly after dealing with ovarian cysts that cropped up while on bcps (ha ha - I actually thought I needed them then) I hit the library and researched and found I could chart temps on my own. When I went into the doctor for the first time I had 4 charts clearly showing something amiss. I was put on Clomid, which was doubled the third month. By month six of clomid, still no joy and I sent DH to a urologist. Discovered dh's varicocele. Considered adoption enough to make inquiries to agencies but at the time was discouraged because it felt too much like "buying a baby" and we were poor starving college students and I wanted to do it the way everyone else I knew was able to.

Once we figured out the "trick" for conceiving (timing intercourse to my induced ovulation after a period of abstinance prior) and then started miscarrying - well, different ballgame.

Nothing was genetically wrong with either of us so we ruled out donor eggs/sperm based on that and dh's aversion to it personally. I would have probably been okay with it. HSGs showed despite endometriosis - tubes were open and clear.

When even on the fert drugs it became harder to conceive we did talk about delving deeper into the ARTs.

IVF - ruled out on moral/religious issues. Neither of us could live with the possibility of producing more embryos than we ended up using and personal belief that life begins at conception.

Considered adoption again - but decided to give follistim another try even after my 6th and 7th losses. (I'm also a bit of a control freak - I like to do things MY way and get pretty determined the more my way doesn't work that I will MAKE it work! But, had come to point where it was starting not to matter HOW I got my kids, so much as I eventually had them)

Artificial Insemination - was an actual go once since my cm seemed to be starting up as a bit of issue - but the one cycle we had planned to do that on got scrapped due to poor ovarian response.(I produced one follicle on my **bad** side) Dh was getting pretty used to semenanalysis anyway - so producing specimans wasn't a big deal to him. We decided it wasn't worth the expense and hassle with one follicle not likely to be able to get where it needed to. I actually got pg anyway much to mine as well as the nurses, u/s tech and doctor's complete surprise. It was also my very last cycle ttc as I decided I could just not take anymore follistim, monitoring, disappointment, etc. Next stop - brick wall!

Insurance changed shortly after this and no longer covers even just the drugs so we ended our medically assisted reproductive efforts there.

Would pursue adoption now given financial means to - in a heartbeat - but that decision took several years and more than a few losses to arrive at (and a lot of injections).

Looking back I would say I wouldn't change one bit. For me it was all worth it in the end. How Machiavellian of me - ends justify the means!

They call me Ishmael - you can call me that too if you like. :0)

Pamela Jeanne said...

I'll email you my thoughts. Lots to ponder here.

Vacant Uterus said...

I'm just catching up--it's been a busy week.

Path we are on right this very moment: third party reproduction.

Path we started with: treatments; namely Clomid with an eye toward IVF. I feel like you may know all of my story anyway but I'm going to tell it again since you asked. :-) We never did more than one round of clomid because the base, through which we recieve all our medical care, closed the Women's Health Clinic, shipped our Ob/Gyn off to who knows where and left us dangling. It took us a year to get a referral to a regular ob/gyn and then just as we'd completely give up, we got the referral to our present clinic. During all of that time, we had the bare minimum of testing which was not even done right.

IVF was not covered for us anyway and we could have decided to pay out of pocket. If it had been up to me, we would have. I would have sold vital organs on the black market to do IVF back then. But Sarge said no. It was too expensive and after the catastrophe of his illness, our fragile finances couldn't handle it. I was angry and resentful when I wasn't depressed and weepy but looking back now, I think it was only wise. I don't regret it. I'm sad that we will never see what a child made of the two of us will look like. I wish we hadn't had our hearts broken so totally. But I'm okay with our decision now.

The next path we took was domestic adoption. We took a year off to mourn our infertility. I needed to cry and be angry and pray and talk to God. God and I had lots of conversations, actually. At the end of that year, both of us felt good about adoption. We wanted it. We were excited about it. We applied, got approved, went through the harrowing process of the homestudy, got on the waiting list.

And then the referral to the clinic arrived. And the septum came to light, explaining two miscarriages that I didn't know where to include above. And then the option for either IVF, which we were still firmly set on NOT doing, or donor embryos. We talked about how much adoption meant to us, how we wanted to be adoptive parents at the point, no matter what. We discussed our longing to go through a pregnancy together; my desire to feel a child grow inside of me and Sarge's to see me growing with that child. We were excited about the way embryo donation could give us both those things: adoption and pregnancy. It was perfect for us.

Mel, I'm not done being sad for all those lost and lonely years of infertility. But the more we go forward with this donor FET, the more I think we just could not have gotten here any sooner. I'm so excited to be an adoptive mom; I really want that experience. I want to look at my child one day and see a human being completely different and outside of myself and be amazed by the miracle of that life and the fact that I got to be a part of it. Does that make sense? This beautiful thing is going to happen and I'm going to get help. I can't ask for a grander adventure than that. That's good work; work I want to spend my life doing.

Use Flicka and Sarge for our aliases. You've got my email if you have any questions. Luck with your writing; I know you'll do great. You always do. :-)

neko said...

Path: Treatments - Timed intercourse, hormone treatments, trigger shots, at conception immediate treatment with Lovenox injections daily throughout the entire pregnancy. Pregnancy successful.

The criteria you used to make your decisions.
We followed our own personal beliefs regarding treatment, even at one point walking away from a team of specialists who gave us the original diagnosis of Thrombophilia and told us to go home and try again. We "felt" this was just not right after 3 miscarriages in one year. Seeking another fertility specialist closer to our home produces dramatic results for us.

Was your decision clear-cut or did you agonize over the choices?
We certainly debated and agonized over every decision. We read every available medical resource and compared each resource against each other. We also used the extensive knowledge of the online community we connected with at the time to help guide us to more answers. This online community of bloggers and boards also provided a clear sounding board for us to agonize over our decisions in a public forum with women and sometimes men who could commiserate with us at the very least if not provide us with sage advice at times.

Did you create a flow-chart or simply go along with whatever your RE/adoption agency director suggested?
Many charts, many months, and then by the time we made it to the final RE, we just dropped it all and went on instinct. After three years of waiting and loss we just didn't have it in us anymore to fill out charts or think about it.

If you have a partner, did you make choices together or did one of you have a stronger hand in the decision making?
We made choices together but I think that ultimately we decided at the onset of the journey once we knew there were problems that, some decisions had to be mine alone because they involved my body and my partner was in agreement with that from the beginning. If he wasn't we wouldn't have proceeded.

Pseudonym: Patricia

Bea said...

Money wasn't really one of our criteria. We did have fertility treatment coverage, which obviously helped there, but adoption wasn't covered, so we would have paid big bucks for that. Either way, the only money question we asked was "can we afford this step?" and if the answer was yes, we added that step to the list of options without pausing to agonise over whether it would work or not. In short, we didn't feel like we'd regret rolling high in twenty years' time.

Beaurocracy had a lot to do with our decision. Due to a funny series of events, adoption was only legally available to us after our latest BFP. Knowing this, we were planning to start researching it in earnest if that cycle didn't work. Surrogacy, likewise - huge legal issues, would have had to go interstate at the least. Donor gametes and embryos aren't readily available like they are in the US either. I guess you could say there were big legal and practical issues with all paths except IVF with our own gametes. This was probably the biggest factor in our decision - IVF with our own gametes would have had to become an awful lot less attractive for the other options to seem worthwhile.

So first we asked, is this option *possible*, legally and financially? Then we asked how rewarding each option would be (chance of success, comfort with that path). Finally we looked at practicalities. I think it was kind of assumed that if one was the best path we would overcome the practicalities, so this was almost post-decision. Again, it was a matter of looking forward and trying to focus on how we'd feel about the choices looking back - no matter how the dice rolled.


Sassy said...

Well we originally tried treatment which was something we were very enthusiastic about. We had just got married and wanted to have a baby right away. We were prepared to do pretty much anything for that to happen so we started seeing doctors. We went through a lot of doctors before we got any help as they thought I was too young (early twenties) to be worried about having babies. I was diagnosed with PCOS by a doctor who argued with me for 20 minutes that I didn't have it and didn't need to be tested for it. When we did find a doctor (#11) that prescribed Clomid I ended up in hospital after a nasty reaction. From there we were advised to try ovarian drilling and the success rates were so crap we had to really think about it.

Deciding to stop treatment was something we mulled over for months. We were pretty much 'there' but spent a long time contemplating the worthiness of further treatment before deciding it just wasn't worth it. It took a lot longer for my husband to be okay with it. I think it was easier for me because I was the one who would be having surgery for the first time in my life which is more than a little intimidating.

Now we're pursuing adoption. If that doesn't work out we may go back to ART as we being young we have time. Either way, we're a long way from deciding to live child free. At the very least we'll continue to do foster care. I don't think either of us could imagine not having a child in our lives.

For us, adoption is our choice because after doing foster care we know not just us, but our friends and family as well, will embrace a child that is not genetically ours. It sounds strange but that was one of our major concerns about it. There's going to be grief and other problems that will come with choosing adoption, but there's a lot of grief and problems with ART so really there is no 'easy' way for us.

I don't know if that's helpful but there you go.

Elizabeth said...

Path: Third party reproduction via surrogacy.

Reason: I have a unicornuate uterus, bad endo, and probably PCOS and who knows what else going on hormonally. None of those things should prevent me from being able to carry a pregnancy, but after a failed IVF and FET, we agree that it doesn't seem like it will work using my uterus. So...on to surrogacy.

We embraced IVF because we have no problems with it personally or religiously. It seemed like one more option and then seemed like our best option and finally became our ONLY option for a biological child.

Throughout our journey, I've always been thinking of the next step because it helped me to know that there was a next step. DH on the other hand preferred to focus on the present. I think we always had an idea about where we would go, but we would factor in the RE's input as well.

I feel like we are definitely charting our own course compared to the rest of our friends and family. Other friends who have gone through IF have conceived fairly easily with Clomid or IVF. Others have moved on to adoption. We are the only ones we know who are pursuing surrogacy. I thought that our friends and family would think surrogacy was weird and tell us we should move to adoption, but everyone has been really supportive, and I think they understand why we are doing it.

We moved fairly quickly and easily from Clomid to injectables/IUI to IVF, but we did agonize over the decision to move to surrogacy. After the FET failed, we couldn't decide whether to move to surrogacy or to adoption. Initially, I wanted to move to adoption because pursuing surrogacy seemed absurd to doing more of the same but exponentially more expensive. However, I met a potential surrogate online who seemed perfect. DH really wanted to do surrogacy. He wasn't ready to give up on a biological child and felt he couldn't move wholeheartedly to adoption without feeling like we'd exhausted every option. We had planned to do 2-3 IVFs to feel like we had given it a fair shot, so surrogacy didn't seem so outlandish when I thought about how it could provide me with another try or two. Plus, if you go the indie route, surrogacy doesn't start to cost more until you are successful, so at that point, would I really mind paying? If it doesn't work, we've spent what we would have spent for 2 more IVFs since we are paying out of pocket and will move to adoption, confident in our decision. If it does work, it will be expensive, but the results priceless.

We talked through every decision together. I think that my voice was stronger in the early days of treatment because I knew my body wasn't functioning properly, and I pushed us to doctors appointments, Clomid, etc. After our FET failed, however, we both agreed that more IVFs with my body seemed doomed to failure and that our resources would be better spent elsewhere. At that point, DH's voice became stronger as he advocated for surrogacy before adoption. I have taken the lead in finding our surrogate, though, and I am the one who communicates with her. I think that I am back to being the one to push the process along a little more.

Right now we are back to waiting. We are verbally matched with our surrogate, and she is working on a draft of the contract. She delivered a surro baby in December, and her cycles have to return before we can cycle. I hope by June we will be able to start.

Delenn said...

Current Path: Currently pregnant after second cycle of IVF/ICSC.

Reason for IVF was more logistical. Morally and ethically I have no problems with IVF or other fertility treatments. I have no moral or ethical problem with adoption either. It just happened that IVF was covered for three cycles in the state I live in, so we went with that first. If the three cycles hadn't worked, we were already exploring adoption (although we were kind of weary of the process, as we had explored Social Services and worried about having a neglected/abused child as we have one child already).

We were dealing with secondary infertility, so the last option we would have taken was for our son to be an only child, which I understand is far luckier than so many others.

Kim said...

I chose to use this as a blog entry so here is the link -

nancy said...

I'm going to take the time to write this and I'll most likely just email you, since I'm so 'late' with it.