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Thursday, January 10, 2008

More Than a Little Floored

Updated at the bottom:

It really takes a lot to make me speechless, but I don't really have words to describe how I felt when I read this blurb from the Tyra Banks Show:
DO YOU KNOW A WOMAN OBSESSED WITH BECOMING PREGNANT?

Do you know a woman who is obsessed with becoming a mom? Have you seen and heard her struggle for years, felt her unvoiced jealously and seen her desperation first hand? Have you watched silently for too long as she gets her hopes up only to be disappointed and heartbroken when she can’t conceive? Has she tried extreme methods and spent a lot of money to get pregnant with no luck? Do you want to finally tell her she needs to stop the emotional and physical stress on her body and seriously consider adoption or a surrogate alternative? If you know a woman who is obsessed with becoming a mom and getting pregnant, then submit below.

This is juxtaposed with the call for participants sent out via Resolve this week (and is Resolve aware of what they just asked their members to become a part of?):

The producers of the Tyra Banks Show are looking for women and men in the New York City area to share their experiences coping with infertility on an upcoming show. They are interested in hearing from both couples and women and men individually on how you've dealt with the emotional ups and downs of infertility and found inspiration to keep trying. The show will be taped on January 10 in New York City. If you're interested in sharing your story, please contact [contact information removed by Melissa].
Same show or are the producers at the Tyra Banks show holding dueling infertility episodes?

I'd like an explanation and an apology, but rather than ask directly for one that will never be forthcoming from the insensitive and outrageous producers of the Tyra Banks show who feed on the emotions of others, I'm simply voting with my remote control. And spreading word on the garbage you may want to avoid, soon coming over the airways.

Update:

I wrote Resolve last night and got a quick and comforting response back from them. They were just as floored by this and were misled by producers who asked for their help in spreading the word. They're addressing it with the Tyra Banks Show. I think, for me, the show's actions mean little and knowing Resolve has my back means the world.

If you haven't done so yet, go read NYCPhoenix's write up at Forever Reaching. She was in the audience and spoke during the episode.

56 comments:

Sunny said...

Holy Shit! I can't believe that garbage. What a slam! I don't watch her because she drives me nuts but I sure won't know.

STUPID PEOPLE!

Lea Bee said...

ugh! i think i just got sick in my mouth a little.

josh said...

Wow. I know benefit of the doubt says Resolve just didn't know how they were being used...but it's the friggin' Tyra Banks Show! Resolve may have just been the messenger, but they should have exercised much better judgment based on whence the message came...

orodemniades said...

You ever watch The Soup on E!? Cuz they make fun of Tyra all the time, and it is soooo deserved...

Michell said...

What a shitty thing to do to people. I've never watched the Tyra Banks show and I certainly won't ever start now.

Beagle said...

That is AWFUL! I don't like her anyway, but now I really really don't!

(But if she is funding one free adoption . . . sign me up . . . I am desperate and not too proud to say so.)

Dr. Phil is another one I despise, but he has indeed funded adoptions and IVFs (or more to the point found clinics/agency to donate services)

Lori said...

Now I'm a Clicker of another kind.

Goodbye, Tyra.

katd said...

That makes me sick. I am going to post this on my blog, too. We should write letters of some sort. How heartless.

Aurelia said...

Good on you for posting this! She may not give a damn about our feelings, but Tyra and her production company will care about her ratings going in to the toilet.

Hmmm, I wonder if her regular advertisers will care about a bunch of upset consumers?

Barack Obama is supposed to be on her show tommorrow. Perhaps we need to send his campaign an email as well?

katd said...

This is my second comment:) I agree, we need to email sponsors, etc. Warner Brothers is the studio that produces her show. I'm going to do some digging to hopefully find contact info.
Does it look like she's going to pit infertiles against people who think they've "gone too far?" It's just mean.

Barb said...

I COMPLETELY agree. I've seen that and was floored myself. I firmly believe that they are trying to lure in unsuspecting people to tell their stories and then "surprising" them with their friends and their friends outrageous demands about their infertility. GRRRRRRRRR

Kris said...

I didn't watch her after the fat show, and now I definitely won't be watching. My goodness.

mary said...

That is beyond mean!!!!! Makes me glad I am at work and not able to watch. Who has the right to tell anyone they are "trying to hard" to have a family???? OOOOOHHHHH, ANGRY. Let me know who to complain to.

Erin said...

I am utterly disgusted by that. I didn't watch her anyway because I find her annoying, but now I'm going to start contacting sponsors and telling them that I'll be staying away from THEIR products if they continue to support such tripe.

Hummingbird said...

Several of us from a message board have emailed her show. I just went off on how awful and alienating it will be. Others wrote much better letters appealing to her vanity.

I remember when a bunch of us wrote Oprah about her horrible comments, she actually did a better show later with Lisa Ling.

Ellen K. said...

That is outrageous. I slammed the earlier announcement on my blog yesterday and someone alerted me to this update. Thank you for bringing it to our attention so we can act accordingly.

Paz said...

Mel, you super sleuth you! Like IF isn't hard enough without planned televised interventions to encourage us to rise above and move on beyond 'our problem.'

Oy.

steinbockfrau said...

Sophia from Forever Reaching actually went to the taping of this show. We are anxiously awaiting her report.
Her blog: http://nycphoenix.wordpress.com/

Ellen K. said...

I sent an email to the producer and CC:d the media contact at Resolve. This "intervention" ploy leaves me nauseated.

dayzofrain said...

I sent an email a couple of days ago to this address:

tyrabanks@studiofanmail.com


it pissed me off too...maybe I'll put up a post of my email to the woman....and if I get a response or not

Dreamer4agift said...

As if we need someone else gettin' on their high horse telling us what we should or should not be doing/feeling!!! I am soooo overwhelmingly disgusted right now. I will be putting this post up on my page just to spread the word. Ugh, what a way to end my night before I go to bed. Seriously, why do ignorant ppl have t.v. shows??

Natalie said...

WTF!!!! That pisses me off BEYOND pissed. "Do you want to finally tell her she needs to stop the emotional and physical stress on her body and seriously consider adoption or a surrogate alternative?" - yes, because having someone who is tired of my being depressed and upset over my MEDICAL CONDITION tell me what I need to do is OBVIOUSLY going to help.

Oh I could slap some producers right now.

Am Next In Line said...

Imagine!!!!!!!!!!!!! very insensitive cos i was reading it's real people they r talking about.

BTW First time here and i like!

Bea said...

Uh... yeah... bit of a trap and bait? Bait and switch? What's the term I'm looking for? Oh yes - dishonest backstabbery.

Love to hear updates from anyone with ongoing info. That doesn't involve driving the ratings up, that is.

Bea

loribeth said...

I've never watched her show, & you can bet I am never going to now.
How totally condescending.

sky girl said...

I was recently reading a blogger post of someone who had been contacted by the TB Show because she blogs about IF. I seriously hope that she's not going to get railroaded.

Beagle said...

I am still mad about it this morning. I wrote them a nasty note (which will most likely reinforce their idea that we are all nuts).

I also plan to contact RESOLVE as well, since I fell for the RESOLVE version of the call for participants and forwarded it to my entire IF blogger mailing list.

serenity said...

THANK you for posting this. I read that yesterday... and I was so angry I couldn't speak.

I've never watched Tyra, and I certainly won't start.

Caro said...

Also speechless

kate said...

WTF??? I mean, really... WTF... I just- ugh! There's no words!

Yoka said...

That is terrible!!! Thanks for informing us, Mel!!

r_is_moody said...

That is just crap. I don't watch her show, but i love America's next top model. So I guess I can't watch it anymore! :(

Kathy V said...

It sounds like a wolf in sheep's clothing to me. People are contacted about honestly getting the word out about real life struggles and then BAM! they are rocked with just get over it and adopt. How insensitive, rude ignorant, etc. I would love it if someone actually in the adoption process told them how much of a struggle that can be to. Not only with the costs, but the paperwork, the emotional struggle and whatever else is involved. I think we should all write e-mails, letters, and whatever else to the producers of this show telling them how wrong they are about the process and also about how rude it is to do that. I sure hope nobody gets trapped in this mess and gets their heartbroken even more.

Kathy V said...

Does anybody know when this show is going to be aired?

Nycphoenix said...

Hi. I was an audience plant on the show. Here's my report.

http://nycphoenix.wordpress.com/2008/01/11/the-show/

Tammy's Thought Pattern said...

Okay... How do I find the contact information for this psych b.itch?! I am so tired of IF women and men being painted as these raving lunatics that are desparate and on the verge of stealing a child.

When do we get our telethon to raise awareness?! This is all we get? Please... can someone give the entire world a reality check already?!

Tina said...

Man! This is the second thing I saw today that pissed me off! The first was someone who is going through an other chemical/miscarriage on FF who's doctor just told her it was "her fault" because her lining was too thin to sustain a PG after her m/c a cycle ago.

Let's keep the stereotypes going, Tyra! Thanks so much for helping us who suffer through IF and loss!

unexplainthis said...

When I saw the Resolve forward I was skeptical. I don't watch Tyra Banks because well, I work. But also because her show is pure trash. At any rate I didn't even give it a second thought.

Reading this, makes me angry and a little angry that I was write. When I read the RESOLVE blurb I thought maybe it would be done in a proper way. However, after reading this... not so much.

Kim said...

Another PERFECT example of people just not getting IF!

Heather said...

Holy Cow! I'm actually a little surprised about how really pissed this makes me.

They do know that surrogacy and adoption are still stressful and expensive, right?!

I never was a big Tyra fan - but this sealed the deal for me.

chicklet said...

Holy f! I thought Tyra was cool and now I'd like nothing to do with her. I just can't believe teh shit these people do. Gawd.

SarahSews said...

crap, blogger ate my comment.

Anyway, Resolve and AFA PR folks need to get their head out of their asses and do their job, which is not to pimp out IFers to anyone who wants to talk about it. They need to actually do research to make sure the opportunities are positive ones. And Tyra sucks. When Dr. Phil handles an issue better than you, you know you suck.

GLouise said...

Wow, that is just vile. Can you just imagine how AWFUL the poor infertiles who were duped onto the show will feel?

It is kinda like the intro scene to "Hope Floats."

Vile!

Deb said...

I hope it is two different shows because the AFA (American Fertility Association) sent out an email on behalf of the Tyra show trying to get people to show up for the taping of the show.

Their message was pretty similar to the one that RESOLVE was using.

Weighing in w/ my .02 said...

I posted this on my blog too along with my letter.

C said...

Unacceptable.

Outrageous.

I'm speechless.

Jess said...

It really is awful. Even my husband realized it's awfulness.

(If you're interested, my reply to them is on my blog!)

waitinginline said...

Not to defend this show (because is can take a flying leap for all I care), but there are two shows apparantly.

Here is the one that Resolve is probably aware of:

http://tyrashow.warnerbros.com/beontheshow/fertility_struggle.html

Now I'm off to figure out what I want to say in my letter to the show.

LJ said...

That so doesn't surprise me, but disgusts me nonetheless. People really are sick...and for what, some ratings points?

DD said...

Quite a spinmaster Tyra has hired for her show to get Resolve to really believe that Banks was interested in being informative.

How disgusted Resolve (and I) am to realize that Tyra's producers were only looking for on-screen drama.

Pamela Jeanne said...

I've long suspected this, but now it appears to be, sadly, validated. Infertile men and women are one of the last minority groups that are fair game to exploit, disrespect, badger and marginalize. As if living with the conditions that prevent us from having children easily isn't even to bear, now it's okay to scorn and mock us, too?

Maybe it's good that I can't have children. I wouldn't want them to grow up in a world that allows this type of behavior.

Zee said...

I also got a notice about this show, but under the heading that they were looking for women over 40trying to concieve a first child. I guess they were hoping to blindside some poor, deluded old fart and take her out of the fantasy land of having a biological child in her dotage.

Is it me, or is it even more insulting to assume that because one is over 40 and TTC #1, one is automatically a pregnancy-obsessed failure? (I mean, just because I am, doesn't mean everyone else is, right?)

From Here To Maternity said...

She's an oportunistic bitch and I don't watch her shit. Can you tell I'm a wee bit pissed, but mind you I'm just a pregnacy obsessed IF lunatic.

Anonymous said...

I too called and was trying to go on the show. Thank god I did not. I got a phone call from the producer and was told after I emailed them my situation, 34 and had 3 IUI’s and 3 IVF's with 2 miscarriages. They knew my story, but wanted me to explain the whole story. I said you got all of the story so far, going for a 4th IVF if I can remortgage my house for the third time. Well tell me how it makes you feel? She had to call me back because she had to go down the hall on an emergency. She never called back! Thank goodness. But if I actually went, there would have been no hissy fit, there would have been a kick ass fit! How dare they?? We are people, who have feelings! We are not desperate, we are nurturing people who would like to have the feeling of carrying a baby on our own. And if modern technology can allow us to do that, then we have every right! To think I thought Tyra was not oneo of those, my mistake.

Stacie said...

Not a show I watch. It doesn't sound like I am missing much.

Arrgghhhhh!

SaraS-P said...

WTF?

A nationally televised infertility intervention???

I hated Tyra before, but now I am seeking a word stronger than hate. This is insensitive, egocentric, and disgusting...

as in, "Excuse me, your infertility is really getting me down. Can you please just give up so I can get a break?"

Like Orodemniades, I LOVE to watch them blast Tyra on the soup.