The second question relates to one of the pieces of advice Hax gives in the first answer: "don't try to minimize [the loss of your ability to reproduce] with, 'It's okay, we can adopt.' Everyone knows about adoption. There will be a time where it's appropriate to signal your willingness to explore it, if you are in fact willing, but don't present it in a way that suggests you see it as a mitigating factor."
I've noticed that you frequently say, "Everyone knows about adoption," which is why you never advise bringing it up or advise it yourself.
But the thing is, everyone knows about second opinions, too, and that didn't stop you from advising one. Your refusal to recommend adoption signals that there's something wrong with talking about it, when in reality adoption is a wonderful thing that should be discussed.
Actually, I don't see the two as an apt comparison. Everyone may know about second opinions, but people in the throes of an upsetting diagnosis sometimes do lose that thought in the storm. Also, the recommended treatment involves a hysterectomy "ASAP." They can't proceed, wait till the dust has settled and then remember the option of a second opinion. It's now or never.
The adoption conversation, on the other hand, can wait until the couple is in a better frame of mind for it, at which point they will think of it themselves, without the assist from well-meaning spectators.
I have the benefit of seeing what people have posted here for almost a decade, which is that the "Well, you can always adopt" comment is perceived by couples who are struggling with infertility as unnecessary at best, and at worst offensive.
People don't like even the perception of being judged on their reproductive choices, and stating the obvious about adoption makes couples feel judged either as too dense to have thought of it themselves, or as too close-minded or genetically self-absorbed to be interested, which is how a lot of people really do (unfairly) view couples who rule out adoption. Yes, adoption is wonderful; it should be discussed -- by the people who'd be adopting.
Your thoughts on Hax's response?