The Daily News

LFCA Latest Issue: Friday, September 25, 2009.

Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

My Status: Fed Josh's almonds to the squirrels. They needed them very badly.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Friday Blog Roundup

Update at bottom (and yet again on Saturday afternoon):

Inspired by our trip through eighties clothing earlier in the week, my top middle school outfit of all time: black Limited skirt with small white dots. Black sweater. Bright purple stockings. My hot Mia flats. No...wait, wait...purple, red, and green oversized sweater from Esprit that went down to my knees, green stirrup pants, socks over the stirrups, high tops. Actually, my mesh top or my double t-shirt (remember those Forenza t-shirts at the Limited where you layered them?). And leggings. Leggings, leggings, leggings. These were the good parts of middle school--not the hiding-in-the-bathroom parts of middle school, but the clothing and movies and toys that I still like to think about even though I cringe when I have to confront visual evidence of my fashion sense.

And so, the question of the week: list the components of your favourite middle school outfit. Extra points for describing hair style as well. Or remembering a special time when you wore aforementioned outfit. Story, story, story!

Um...I really need more reporters. Don't be scared off by the word "reporter"--you don't need to write articles or crouch along the alleyways, snapping pictures of infertile celebrities as they go into their frou frou clinics. All you need is to click through a section of my blogroll once or twice a week and collect any news--announcements of any variety or support needed--and report it for Lost and Found. See, report. Reporter. That's what I mean by the world. And if it's the word that's tripping you up, I can easily call everyone Clickers. Does clicker sound like a dirty word? Regardless, you get not only my unending devotion, but yourself rendered in Microsoft Paint and added to the reporters page with a link to your blog and a small blurb about you. Doesn't everyone want their likeness in Microsoft Paint?

This is Jenna, for instance. She is the reporter/clicker for IUI/IVF.

Here are the categories. It would be best for you to "sign up" via the comments section so people can see which sections already have coverage. More than one person can have a section--hell, 20 people can share a single section--but I'd like to spread out the coverage so all sections have people watching out for them.

Adoption (all three sections)
Donor Gametes and Parenting after DI/DE
Male P.O.V.
Family Building When Single and Single Parent By Choice
Female Factor
General IF
In the Beginning
Living Child-Free after IF/loss
Male Factor
Orals, Suppositories, and Injectibles
Over 35 and TTC
Parenting after Adoption (2 categories)
Parenting after IF/loss
Pregnancy after IF/loss
Pregnancy Loss
Pregnant or Parenting Multiples
Secondary IF
Stillbirth/Neonatal Death
Unexplained IF

So...leave your name and which category you'd like to click through and your blog url in the comments section. Thank you.

And now the blogs:

Sharah at Outlandish Notions has a gorgeous post this week that is so truthful and raw. She writes: "I’m not happy. I’m not so much sad right now as I am angry and bitter. I’m tired. Tired of waiting, tired of hoping, tired of wanting, tired of being happy for everyone else, tired of being left behind. " There is a bone-aching exhaustion that comes from having your emotions dragged up and down--sometimes in multiple directions inside a single day. She follows it with an equally honest and thought-provoking post on the ugliness so many of us feel, the jealousy, the anger, the frustration. Read these two posts back-to-back; you'll find so much to relate to within the words.

Chicklet at Blurb This! has an answer to the ever-present question, "why don't you just do IVF?" She explains the difference between when she asks herself this question and when others ask her this question: "For the husband and I, it's a 'are we ready' question. Are we ready to take that leap of faith and possibly be crushed? Are we ready to deal with all the other decisions we'll have to make IF, we are in fact, crushed? For everyone else though, it's a 'why are you being so damn cheap' kinda question. Or a 'when you've waited SO long and been psycho for SO long, why wouldn't you just FIX it' kinda question." When it comes down to it, the money isn't a guarantee. They could do IVF and still not have the outcome they want. And personally, I think weighing that out--weighing the chance and it's likelihood--is a sound way of approaching a very difficult and expensive decision.

Since reading Julie's post about her father titled "Albany" at A Little Pregnant, I have been thinking about her family. Even in mourning, she is an amazing writer. And my heart goes out to Charlie. No one should lose their grandfather that young.

Hope548 at Not Like I Thought It Would Be has a list of the insensitive remarks people have made during her adoption journey. My personal favourite? "We're filling up on kids, I'll sell you one of mine... cheap." Made by her financial adviser. Because who doesn't want adoption commentary from their financial adviser?

Almamay, an IF vet of 13 years, has a sweet, aching post this week called "CD12." I love that it begins: "Yes, I am thinking about my cycle. Aren’t we all always thinking about our cycle?" She is such an IVF vet that she can't even remember how many IVF cycles she has done. She writes about the emotions of the past ten years--the fact that the tears you cry in the beginning are so similar to the tears you cry years later (the sameness and the difference): "I remember talking to my old friend and her telling me she was pg. I remember crying myself to sleep in our old flat because AF arrived that day and that was at least 10 years ago. I’m sure the hurt and upset I felt that long ago was the same when I got my AF time after time. When our IUIs failed. When our IVFs failed. It all fucking hurts. It’s like a never-ending nightmare. You wake up, it’s still there. It goes on and on." She is a beautiful writer and it is a great post.

Lastly, this one from the Diva at Come Undone just because I almost peed in my pants over the accompanying visual.

Have a wonderful weekend. Weigh in with your favourite middle school outfit. And report for reporting. Or clicking. Whichever you prefer and whichever sounds like less work so you sign up for a section or two. Think of the glory. Think of the invisible margaritas that will be ever-flowing at our virtual staff meetings. Think of the Clickers Christmas Office Party this winter. Doesn't that make you want this unpaid job?

All categories are always open (we can have multiple people covering a single category), but ones that are in particular need of some coverage at the moment:

Adoption (all three sections)
Family Building When Single and Single Parent By Choice
General IF
Parenting after Adoption (two categories)
Parenting after IF/loss
Pregnant or Parenting Multiples
Stillbirth/Neonatal Death

Update Again:
These ones still need coverage. Perhaps from you?

International Adoption (both pre-adoption and parenting after adoption)
Parenting after Infertility/Loss
Pregnant or Parenting Multiples after Infertility/Loss


Fertilize Me said...

I will volunteer to be a "reporter" iui/ivf, or the oral, suppositories , injectibles, or the religion/spiritual ..which ever all three topics i have interests in ( about to do iui w/ injectibles very soon)

Sunny said...

Well Well Well let me see! Now that you made the reporter job so fun with a cute name and icon count me in. I could do either pregnancy loss, religion/spiritual or unexplained IF. You pick.

Now let s get down to the fun stuff. My favorite outfit... black leggings with lace at the bottom, cut off shorts, florescent top with shoulder pads and a big belt that hangs down on my hips. BIG HOOPS, jelly bracelets, red lipstick and BIG HAIR! Perm that was teased to the max. Big rooster tail bangs! and the side wings that I would work forever on using hairspray and the hair dryer. Oh don't forget the braces with florescent rubberbands!

MAN those were the hot days!

Oh I just had a thought, hypercolored tshirts!

Chris said...

OK, OK, OK with a plea like that who can refuse? I can report on either "over 35 and TTC" or, my personal favorite (oh how I really hate it though) "unexplained IF". You pick, and report back to me!

Tina said...

I will volunteer for "reporter" for Pregnancy Loss. I would add more on right now, but my DS was just diagnosed PDD-NOS this week and I have A LOT of research to do and a lot of consults/appointments to set up...

My favorite outfit HAS to be the one I wore the night I met the Hubby. I met him the Friday night after I started my freshman year of high school. I was wearing a while miniskirt and white matching shirt (quarter-length sleeves, sweat-suit material, since it was WAY IN for 1987) - the white shirt had a silver/black leopard print on it (and shoulder pads too!). I got the outfit from Mandee's - the "hip local for clothes here in NJ in the '80's. Did I mention the green eye shadow too boot (very Human League-esqe)? Of course, like Sunny, I had my jelly bracelets and as big hair as I could get for someone who has thin blond hair!

What is scary is that I should have SAVED those outfits!! They are sooo in again. Who knew!

Kristen said...

I would love to volunteer to be a reporter/clicker! Since Pregnancy Loss is taken, I would love to do the Pregnancy after IF/Loss category and/or In The Beginning. The former will give me hope and the latter will allow me to reminisce. So either one is fine by me!

Kristen said...

Oh, and I wouldn't mind doing all 3 adoption sections either. DH and I are doing some preliminary research so that category would fit as well.

So, I can do Preg after IF/Loss, In The Beginning and/or Adoption. Just let me know!

sharah said...

I'll volunteer to click through In The Beginning or for Living Childfree.

Reproductive Jeans said...

Id like to be a clicker reporter! Ill take MF-and I can add on DI to that category. So do I email you my picture in my lovely fav 80's outfit so you can re-create me like THAT in paint=) Hehe...
My favorite outfit:

Bright pink shirt, paired with a multi-color pair of JAM shorts (remember Jams?) with matching socks-two pairs (lime green and pink) and then to top it off-a side ponytail with a lime green scrunchie, and pink koosh-ball earings--OH and we cant forget the FANNY PACK. I wore this lovely outfit at least once a week....yikes.

Cece said...

Hi - I'll be a reporter for you on Unexplained IF!

And my favorite middle school outfit? A mint green knit skirt/sweater set. I was so freaking cool!

Drowned Girl said...

I'll do donor gametes, or secondary IF or anything loss related...


Drowned Girl said...

Do me an icon with purple pony tails, please

Heather said...

How big of a portion of your blogroll are we talking about? I will do it, if it isn't a whole ton. I don't care which topic - whichever one you need filling. But I'm only doing this so I can have my likeness done in Microsoft Paint mind you.

My favorite outfit...would have to be jeans (but you had to fold over the cuff before you rolled them up so they were super tight) with a hyper-color shirt. My hair totally in a side ponytail with a bit poofy scrunchie (same color as my outfit). Of course the bangs had to be as tall as possible (mucho Aquanet)! And two pairs of socks - different colors - to coordinate with the outfit.

I'm not nearly as coordinated these days as I was back then...

Rachel said...

My middle school outfit was a Coca-cola rubgy shirt, 2 pairs of slouch socks, with the opposite color on the outside of each foot. My hair would never cooperate to have the big bangs, but I did love to wear a side ponytail.

Elizabeth said...

My favorite middle school outfit - can a bathing suit be an outfit? It was black with white polka dots, string tie behind the neck, little ruffles over the thighs. I lost it one day while swimming in the lake with my best friend (smaller, cuter, blonder, and older than me but whatever) - we decided to trade bathing suits for some reason, and I dropped mine! The water was too deep and murky to recover it. While I bobbed in the lake, naked, watching boats go by, she ran home and got me her spare one... which was too small, but I squeezed into it. It was years before I told my mom what really happened.

Karaoke Diva said...

I'll click for you, Mel. I'll take IUI/IVF or Secondary IF. Or both if you need it.

As far as middle school fashion goes, my favorite outfit was this blue-green dress. Long sleeves, knee-length and made out of something soft and stretchy. Maybe cotton with a little Spandex. Around the middle was a big, black, shiny belt. I loved that dress mostly because my best friend at the time told me I had great legs in it.

Frank N. Beans said...

I would be happy to do Male P.O.V., but would appreciate links to other blogs aside from mine. Might be awkward to pimp my own site. Also, I spent way too much time on the 80s question this morning. It kept growing, so if you want you can check out my Zubaz! on my blog (sorry, I don't know how to make a link).

The Town Criers said...

Can I second Heather in stating that I was way more coordinated in middle school? This morning I wore a black shirt and brown shoes just because the brown shoes were the easiest to reach by the front door. Whereas in middle school, I had my blue sweatshirt material mini skirt with my white top and matching blue cardigan-like thing. With blue and white socks (doubled, of course). And the hottest hairstyle imaginable. Try to picture this: you pull back the two sides and clip them behind with a hairclip. THEN, you pull all the hair that is still down into a pony tail. So it looks like a ponytail on top of a lower ponytail. If that wasn't hot, I don't know what is.

chicklet said...

I can do unexplained infertility and/or general IF - I'm flexible.

As for making it on the blogroundup, woohoo! Thanks for adding me, for thinking it was good enough, and for supporting part of how we're weighing this horrible shit.

As for the outfit, well it had to be my stonewashed stretched stirrup jeans with my Zulu sweatshirt that had lots of pink and orange, but a little blue and green in it. With runners of course. And the hair, well, it had wings - blowdryer wings. The kind where you blow the dryer directly into your hair, lifting it WAY up and out to the side,and hairspraying into cement-solidness. Oh, and don't forget the bangs - the perfectly lined up one curling rod roll (hairsprayed solid again) bangs.

Tina said...


I could probably pick up Parenting after IF/loss as well - even though I've had 3 recurrent losses, I still am parenting my son before the losses. ;)

FattyPants said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lori said...

Clicker for adoption (domestic newborn is what I'm familiar with).

Could do spirituality too, if it's needed.

I really just want to see my likeness in MS Paint (my current self, not my junior-high self).

See, I'm so old that "middle school" didn't even exist at the time I was in it.

My mom knitted me a sweater in junior high. It was in the school colors: gold vest with a big green "V" on it for the Vikings.

I actually wore it on a few game days, not realizing what a dork I was.


Let me know if your mom finds the shrinky-dinks!

FattyPants said...

I had to go back and delete that comment. Sorry my mistake. I'll be a reporter. I'm willing to cover whatever you pick, I would like to step out of my little box and report on blogs I'm not familiar with.

As for the outfit it was when neon was making a comeback. So it had to be my neon green stretch pants with the lacy crap at the bottom and a black tank top. Add to that some aquanetted bangs and some keds and there you go.

Dreamer4agift said...

I will volunteer to report with Religion and/or General IF. Love the whole icon idea too:) Let me know what exactly I need to do!

jenna sais quoi said...

Well, it looks like you have reporters on everything that applies to me, so:

Favorite outfit:

Oversized (practically knee-length) magenta Generra sweater with blue polka dots, worn with black ankle-zipped tapered jeans and black keds, no socks or laces.

Above the neck: huge silver hoop earrings, electric blue eyeliner and mascara, and hair out to there, curly, and doused with enough Aussie Sprunch spray to kill a goat. Oh, and a serious scowl. I was quite bershon during this whole Jr. High period.

dmarie said...

I wore a uniform in middle school! How boring is that? When I wasn't in that uniform, I was wearing boxer shorts & t-shirts (Florida girl). In fact I still wear them and I have on boxers right now. Can take the girl outta Florida...

Carole said...

I will take stillbirth/neonatal death.

Natalie said...

I'll volunteer for the Pregnancy after IF, since I'm already checking most of those as it is. :)

Deb said...

I would be glad to help with the single parent blogs or general IF.

I had ketchup colored stirup pants that I paired with either a big yellow shirt or a big white shirt with black polka dots, a big black belt, black lace up boots, and socks/leg warmers that matched my shirt...

Meg said...

Banana clips, parachute pants, leg warmers, z-cavarrichi's, skinny ties, barracuda jackets, hi-top sneakers (un-tied), members only jackets, 3/4 sleeve (concert) shirts, acid wash jeans (cuz they were awesome), exersoles, trans ams, firebirds, class rings around the neck, big hair, bandana's, benneton anything, clogs, last but not least Izod shirts with the collar up......yup I did it all - I was a total 80's fag

TeamWinks said...

Hey, Mel. I'd gladly be a reporter, but here's the deal. I'm having a tough time discerning who is parenting after adoption. Perhaps if you could direct those who read your blog to email their link to the reporter who's graciously offered to be one in their category, that would be immensely helpful. Just a thought.

As always, I simply love your blog and all it does for this community!

Kim said...

I'll be a clicker for General IF.

I can't pinpoint just one outfit. I was called Blossom (anyone remember that show? Girl with wacky clothes?) Anyway my older sister and her friends would call me that in the halls when we didn't get along that year. I think it was 8th grade. So picture Blossom and you have me. Also, I remember having Air Jordans for my basketball shoes in 7th grade. My aunt bought them for me - she still spoils me! Complete with short shorts and an oversized jersey. I think we should bust out some old photos somehow - of course no faces to protect the innocent (and embarrassed)!

Kristen said...


I emailed you back but just wanted to let you know I'd love to take International Adoption!


Anonymous said...

Mel, just a thought for an additional category - both male and female factor infertility. I don't quite know what you would call it. . .

Now, for my favoutite middle school outfit, pink and black polka dotted culottes with a pink and black stripped t-shirt. And i can't for get the keds with a pair of black socks and a pair of pink socks sticking out of the top! Oh yeah, and the most embarrassing part was the HUGE pink bow in my over teased hair.

Pamela Jeanne said...

If you're still looking for General Infertility/Unexplained Infertility/Living Childfree, I'm available and ready to report for duty...

nancy said...

Well, the ones I could do are taken. Secondary (or tertiary) infertility would be mine. BUT then I realized! Parenting after infertility! That's ME!

Can I still do it? Can I? Can I?