Since our children were born, we've been speaking with them about the multitude of ways people build a family. And there are excellent books that can be used to discuss adoption (for instance, A Mother for Choco by Keiko Kasza) or used to discuss donor gametes or fertility treatments or why some children have two mommies and others have two daddies and others have a mommy and a daddy or simply a mommy or a daddy. But there wasn't one song or one book or one movie that we found that we liked that explained all of these ideas with one simple analogy. Our biggest reason for wanting one single song instead of an entire album of songs was that we didn't know how we were going to add to our family again and if this next child wasn't conceived via fertility treatments, we wanted all of our children to understand that regardless of how they came into the family, they were all equally precious and wanted and special.
We were waiting and waiting for someone else to write this song or make this movie, but when it didn't happen, we decided to do it ourselves.
We wanted a simple idea that could be used to explain the multitude of paths used to create a family with the understanding that some families are created through one means--every child via IVF, let's say--and others are a gorgeous patchwork quilt of paths--with one child adopted and another child from fertility treatments. And we wanted one song that explained this so every child in the family could be covered in the song as well as every classmate or cousin or neighbour. One song--many paths--one explanation.
We made this song and movie first and foremost for our kids. But then Josh threw out the idea of posting it so that other people could show it to their kids in case they needed a song/movie like this. Our kids call it their flower song and request it often. They've even made up their own dance to the song that involves a move that is vaguely reminiscent of a swimming stroke.
So sit down with your children and watch the cartoon together and use it as a jumping board to discussing how each flower that appears in the garden is meant to be in the garden--whether it was planted there or sprung up unaided.
This movie is one of two parts. The second song and movie are coming soon and will be a simple analogy aimed at children to explain pregnancy loss since too many times infertility and pregnancy loss (and part of the definition of infertility is pregnancy loss) go hand-in-hand. Like this song on building families, we wanted one song that explained loss--from chemical pregnancies to late term loss to stillbirth to medical terminations. That song and film are still being made, but they accompany Mother Earth's Flower Shop as a two-part explanation for children of infertility and loss.
If you've been looking for a similar song for your own children or children-to-be, we hope you enjoy this one and find it useful. Our kids now like to tell people, "I'm a special flower!" And I hope they always remember how much they were wanted and how thankful and grateful we are that they are finally here.
Every flower that grows in a garden is meant to be there and nowhere else--whether it was intentionally planted or sprouted unaided. Therefore, every bloom is loved and cherished. It is the diversity and hidden surprises of a garden that make it beautiful. The most gorgeous flower beds come together with hybrid blooms, transplanted flowers, gifted seeds, wild dandelions, and even the spaces where ladybugs can crawl unhindered by plants.