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Sunday, April 01, 2007

Director's Commentary

Just in case you were wondering how accurately I drew myself for the film...

As you can see, I bear a striking resemblance to Infertile Myrtle. Though it's impossible to tell from this picture, I do, indeed, have a uterus of doom. I also often wear my hair in squash blossoms to feign youthfulness.

(whisper whisper...
I didn't realize she was so small!

I didn't realize she was going to be so...triangular. Do you think she's really that triangular in real life? It must be so hard to buy jeans.

I know--what kind of body type is that? Isosceles?

Does she only own one pair of shoes? She seems to wear those Mary Janes a lot... Maybe she spent all of her money on fertility treatments and now she doesn't have enough for shoes. Poor thing.

Are those her hands or is she wearing oven mitts?

She sure does wear a lot of purple. Isn't that a lot of purple?

It looks like she's wearing glasses. Infertile Myrtle doesn't wear glasses. Do you think Myrtle wears contacts?
whisper whisper...)

We made this film because we have received so much good advice over the years and we thought that the kindest thing to do would be to pass it along to others in the community. I mean, you probably haven't thought about some of these things--just relaxing, going on a vacation, or propping up your hips. Feel free to send me all the money you save now that you can stop using IVF.

We've placed a link in the sidebar to the YouTube page if you wish to view the film in the future. The YouTube url is in case you have any Aunt Janes in your life. Sometimes images speak louder than words. Feel free to pass it along next time you're banging your head against the wall...

There were also many pieces of advice that were cut from the song simply due to length. Perhaps in the future, we will pull together an "uncut" version that will include verses about Aunt Jane knowing people who have tried longer, used the power of prayer, and were satisfied by simply owning a puppy (or, as Aunt Jane would say, adopting a puppy). Rest assured, we are currently at work on the next installment of Infertile Myrtle and the Uterus of Doom.

And now the questions...

Q: What are squash blossoms?
A: Squash blossoms are a traditional Hopi (Native American) hairstyle for unmarried women. They are also a hairstyle for a woman who is traveling through Norway for a few weeks and forgets to bring a hair clip but finds two rubberbands in the house where she is staying in Oslo. It is also the hairstyle of this type of woman when she returns stateside and continues to use these same rubberbands until they snap one morning. This hairstyle is still worn intermittently even though this woman is married and is not a member of the Hopi tribe.

Q: What are the words on the dresses of the sisterhood of mommies? They're blurry on my computer?
A: The three dresses read from left to right: my child slept through the night at 2 weeks; my child speaks six languages fluently; I lost the baby weight in 4 days.

Q: Were you singing? Who was playing piano?
A: I was singing. The music came from stringing together bars of sample music that came with Josh's Mac. And, of course, all visuals were made on Microsoft Paint.

Thank you for all the kinds words about the movie. We had a lot of fun making it and we never would have tried to make a cartoon if not for Bea and her film festival. So a huge thank you to Bea. Luckily, we just had a five-hour drive up I-95 so we now have a palm pilot full of lyrics for our next film--coming soon.


vixanne wigg said...

That is awesome! Loved it! Loved it!

Jess said...

SCORE. We want LOTS of installments, and in the meantime we'll be settled with the uncut version.

Seriously. My husband even loves it. And he's so not into this stuff.

I *heart* Infertile Myrtle. I must see the prayer bit. Since we are strong Christians, along with our families, we get that a LOT. "God told me you were going to get pregnant this time" has been a favorite in the past.

Yep. I'll just bet He did. Because God always loves a good lie.

Bea said...

Great commentary, especially about the squash blossums. I have learned something today - not just about Native Americans, but about rubber bands, Norway hotel rooms, and the hairstyling habits of wed, triangular females who wear a lot of purple.

The talk about when the next festival should be is coming soon. Everyone! Get your opinions ready.


Cibele said...

OMG! I just loved loved the video. I saw it so many times that I had a dream about it and you she was wearing purple again but with a different pair of shoes (high heals)! What great work you did.

BTW, you have a lovely voice!
I can't wait to see what comes next!

decemberbaby said...

I think it should be a monthly feature... you could even have your readers contribute ideas for lyrics, if you ever run out of assvice from your family. not that anyone ever runs out of family-given assvice... still, we could compare notes.

Dianne/Flutter said...

Thank you for the tremendous laugh! It was hysterical because it was so poignant! Love it! You have a gorgeous voice!

Anonymous said...

Thank you for a good laugh!!
And you look EXACTLY like i thought you'd look -- especially the triangular shape!

Chag Sameach!

shlomit and sariel

mandolyn said...

Bravo! Bravo!

Sarah said...

That was great, loved it!

Changing Expectations said...

I loved your video! I am looking forward to the next one.

Ms.Once said...


Although I have to tell you that I now have the song running through my head almost constantly. I'm worried I'm going to start humming it in class, singing it in the aisles of the grocery store, running through the chorus on the city bus (you know, true crazy behavior of the fertility-challenged)....

Baby Blues said...

You have a future in the music industry! Haha. Loved it. You're the next Ala.nis Mori.sette.

J Wood said...

Having known the performer from times past, I can confirm that she is indeed equilaterally-triangularish, but depending on the workload, the season and the weather (and allergies), sometimes leaves the house in an isosceles formation. When she reads poorly-drafted fiction, the triangularish shape turns upside down, and she turns green. It's quite unnerving the first few times.

RTTguapa said...

hey! you look like amanda peet in that picture.
hope you take that as a compliment ;)

loved the video!