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Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Infertility--Coming to a Television Near You

Apparently Hollywood is reading our blogs because there is a new pilot being tested according to Variety.

The show has already been picked up by Fox. It's called the Return of Jezebel James, starring Parker Posey. The logline: "When a single successful children's book editor learns she is physically unable to conceive, she is forced to ask her estranged sister to carry her baby for her." Really? Forced? There's no one else in the world who can be her surrogate? Truly, regardless of that last sentence, I am approaching this with an open-mind mostly because I love Parker Posey. And because they just may portray infertility well on this show. What is the law in America? Innocent until proven guilty?

Last night we were watching the Colbert Report (where, of course, he mentioned the ice cream and fertility study just as I was considering whether or not I was too cold for a heaping bowl of coffee chip) when a commercial came on for a Bahamavention.

What, you ask, is a Bahamavention? Apparently, vacations aren't being prescribed solely for infertility and baby-making anymore (because, as you know, if you go on a vacation, you will get instantly pregnant. Instantly. Even if your husband has a zero sperm count. Even if you produce no progesterone. Hell, I've even heard that it works if you go on vacation and you've already ovulated. Vacations are that powerful. You simply ovulate a second time that cycle the moment you start sipping that first margarita. And if it's CD1, your period miraculously ends immediately, your lining grows to perfect thickness, and your follicles pop out eggs like your ovaries are a steaming bag of jiffy pop).

Take a little look right here: Bahamavention.

I'm just sending this out as a public service annoucement to all the crazy infertile women out there who are beating up soccer coaches in your grief over not having children. Just go on a vacation. Really, you'll see how your stress if affecting everyone else and you'll come back rested and knocked up (insert condescending laughter here). It's really that easy. I'm surprised that you're spending so much money on IVF. Vacations to the Bahamas are much more affordable. And you not only get a baby, but you get a fantastic tan.

24 comments:

j said...

Well, unless you're queer in which case you might just come back from the Bahama's having been gay bashed.

Though it's not as bad as Jamaica.

Tara said...

I hope that show is good, but I can't say I have high hopes for it considering how anything infertility related doesn't always translate well to the screen. However, I love Parker Posey..and of course I love surrogacy. :) So I'll give it a try when it airs.

Tina said...

HHAHAHAHHA! I knew I was missing something when we decided to honeymoon 8+ years ago in the mountains of Virginia!!

Interesting about the new show... Will have to watch it and see what happens. Can't be worse than "Inconceivable", right??????

May said...

I suppose spending a week at my Dad's place in Scotland won't do it then? No?

Dang.

Adrienne said...

Maybe it's just me, but I don't have much faith in FOX running a show that's thoughtful and sensitive. Cause they're just so "fair and balanced", you know.

And, wow, if I'd known about the mystical and miraculous properties of the Bahamas, I could have flown down there so I wouldn't have had those three miscarriages! Who knew?! I feel so silly right now.

Jess said...

The show scares me. Single woman. Infertility. Fox. Can it really be good?

I *hope* it is.

And the vacation thing PISSES THE CRAP out of me. Mostly because we've been going on at LEAST 3-4 vacations a YEAR, and for the last three years...wait, let me go check....yep, I'm infertile.

Last trip we went on, we had 5 follies from a med/IUI cycle. We TRIGGERED ON VACATION. And nothing. Of course, no IUI, either, but medically speaking we don't NEED IUI.

Bah.

Lindsey said...

Yes, the my man and I have been weighing our options between fertility treatment and vacations. Though the success data on IVF is exceptional, the anecdotal proof of vacations curing infertility is indisputable, according to several people that have handed me their unwarranted advice. Hmmm. Which should we do? Still not sure.

Samantha said...

God!!! What have I been doing for the past two years!!! Why did we go to Jamaica for our honeymoon??

Your post seriously cracked me up.

S said...

I seriously believe that NO IF show will be credible unless they find someone with either firsthand experience with IF or really really did their homework.....plus, FOX is crap. And I'm not saying that-I have a friend who was a producer on a FOXNews show, and she hated working there...

Bahamavention my ass...unless pina coladas and massages are included in the price-then I'm all over that like a fungus....

C said...

I don't know, the infertility storyline (if one can call a D-plot a storyline) on "House" is very, very good. As much as I normally hate, loathe, and despise Fox, I'm a little encouraged by the fact that they got it right once. Maybe they can replicate that authenticity in a show where infertility is a primary focus.

Princess Barren said...

OMG, what a coincidence, I'm actually going to the Bahamas in April!!
Guess that means I can stop giving myself Follistim injections, since I'll just get PG next month anyway!

Oh wait. I just remembered Hubby isn't going; just me, my aunt, and cousins. Maybe I'll come back knocked up anyway? The Bahamas *is* magical and mystical after all.

docwrite said...

Enjoy this new delicious strategy if you are trying to get pregnant. A new study from Harvard shows that women who eat more ice cream have a much better chance of getting pregnant as compared to those who don't.

Emmie said...

Well, I think H and I more than blew the Bahamavention theory out of the water, since he and I went to Florida 2 months into TTC, Grand Cayman 4 months into TTC, the Bahamas 8 months into TTC, California 12 months into TTC, and St. Lucia 14 months into TTC. We got our IF diagnosis the day we got back from St. Lucia. Wish I had saved most of that vacation money for IVF meds instead. :)

Ann said...

So if you eat ice cream while in the Bahamas, will you conceive twins?

Jane said...

During my last ultra sound I asked the tech if she had any advice. Dumb. She said most people she knows get pg on vacation. Too bad I have to work to PAY for infertility treatments!

Anonymous said...
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Kath said...

"Forced" to ask her "estranged" sister? Why would anyone do that? But OK, OK, I'll try to keep an open mind.

"Bahamavention"? Hurting the soccer coach for excluding a kid she doesn't have? I think I'm just going to sob quietly in the corner...

I loved yoor explanation of what happens to infertile people on vacation. Hilarious!

TeamWinks said...

Will it magically cure a bum uterus too? That's exciting news!

It will be interesting to see how they portray infertility. You know Holleywood does need to make it any more dramatic. I feel like our journey to parenthood has had more twists and turns than a daytime soap opera.

katd said...

Oh my gosh, what was I thinking? I totally forgot my Bahamavention treatment. Is it too late to cancel all the adoption papers? Although, I hear adopting also causes conception...so maybe I'll get lucky TWICE! :)

Bobby and Ivy said...

Hmmmm. I wonder what this show will be like. With any luck, this may be great.

Gil said...

I wrote about the Bahamas sort of thing back in November when I read an article in the newspaper entitled "The Procreation Vacation." I almost puked. I've got a link to the original article in my post called Ups and Downs.

sariel & shlomit said...

But wait...I'd rather have blood tests, ultrasounds, bloating, needles and massive debt?! do they have that in the bahamas?!

anyway, i'm curious abt the t.v. show...i don't watch t.v. really but i will rent the dvd and check it out (well...once it's on dvd, that is)...

in the meantime, i'm sitting here chuckling thinking about all the places where sariel and i have been and have ttc...most recently in his mother's bedroom in florida!!

peace
shlomit

Carolyn said...

It sounds like a Bahamavention can help so many people in so many ways! I really like those commercials, makes me want to go on a Bahama vacation so bad!

tipsymarie said...

From now on, I will always view my ovaries as little minature bags of jiffy pop, just bursting with perfectly cooked kernels. Yes, I think this is the ticket.