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Friday, December 15, 2006

Friday Blog Roundup

Chanukkah begins tonight. On a side note, in case you were wondering uses for unused needles after a cycle, you cannot use them to inject jam into your sufganiyot. I know this because we tried one year. The first problem was drawing the jam into the needle--pretty much impossible with the gauge of needle I had on hand (one of those thick ones for mixing Follistim. Which totally dates me. It makes me feel like an old woman now that they have those fancy Follistim pens this time around). You also, I learned, cannot easily remove the plunger and load the needle as if it were a pastry bag. All of this is a shame because I have not found a satisfactory way of injecting the jam into my sufganiyot.

Luckily, Chanukkah lasts for eight nights, so I can always write my miracle-of-the-season-have-hope shmaltzy post later in the week. Tonight, it's all about latkes and candles. And a little game of strip dreidel...

Oh...wait. Before I get to that... (clears throat and hopes her mother isn't reading this entry) The blogs.

Manuela at Thin Pink Line always has a good read. She's not only a gifted writer, but she presents such an interesting point-of-view. Every time I walk away from her blog, I see the world in a new way. This week, she had a post about meeting her birthmother (and these types of reunions in general). She gives, as always, sound advice on this situation--and it's a moving post to read even if this is not your reality. Because her post can be read on so many levels including what happens when one person tries to balance the happiness of everyone around her.

Many of the posts I read this week were extremely moving and emotional. Perhaps it is just that time of year. Sanorah at the Twatlight Zone is waiting her beta. She had a post this week in which she describes herself as feeling "I’m tired, just plain tired. My heart…or maybe it's my soul, is black and blue. I'm bruised, I feel mishandled." She goes on to wonder, "What scares me most is I worry that once I finally reach that goal, finally become a mother, I’ll be so broken that I won’t be any good to anyone. Not to my husband or my child or myself." Her words rang so true and I know that's the fear of many people.

Worrier/Warrior sums up the feelings of many at the holiday season: "The Christmas holidays are coming up and I’m just not feeling it. I used to love this time so much, but now it just feels like things that should be are just missing. It’s not like a sadness or an aching, more just a hollow feeling." I thought she did a beautiful job putting that feeling into words--that hollowness that comes from missing someone who is not yet here. I hope things turn around soon, Worrier/Warrior, and you either find peace with the wait or move ahead with IVF.

Lastly, while the pain of loss is more acute for some during holiday seasons regardless, a bit of the rawness comes from the fact that you end up seeing people that you rarely run into except at parties or community events. Last year at this time, Laura at Nate Nate Roller Skate was pregnant and about to give birth. She was playing again this year in a holiday concert and was asked by the oboist (who last saw her pregnant) about her baby. And what could she say? She explained once again about the horrific loss they experienced 10 months ago and she spent the rest of the concert laughing while they spoke about other topics (all the while, secretly wanting to vomit). She writes about this moment with such emotion and clarity.

People have commented this week that there seems to be a lot of anger in the Blogosphere--people fighting in the comments section and blog posts of pure nastiness. There were people who went password protected this week and others who left the Blogosphere permanently. And I just caution--tread carefully. It may just look like words on a screen, but they belong to a very real person. And anything you wouldn't say to a person's face shouldn't be said just because there is the possibility of anonymity. People are emotional this time of year; blog posts are emotional this time of year. Rather than leave words that could hurt someone in the comments section, just walk away from posts where you disagree and find another blog to read. I am not saying agree emphatically with everything that is written. Simply think before you post: what you hope to accomplish with your comment (offering support? Changing someone's mind?). I think it's important that we minimize the hurt this time of year. You never know what another person has experienced that day.

Just my two cents.

10 comments:

TeamWinks said...

Thanks for the reminder in the end. Infertility is ugly enough, we don't need to be too.

mandolyn said...

Happy Chanukkah, Mel!

Anonymous said...

Happy Chanukkah!

Summer said...

Thanks for the kind thoughts, Mel.

One question, though. Is strip dreidel played each day of Chanukkah or just the first?

Anonymous said...

You are so right about the last paragraph. So so right...but on a funnier note...how do you play strip dreidel?

Manuela said...

Melissa, thank you so much for your kind and generous words.

Happy Chanukkah!

Jessica said...

Amen sista, and Happy Chanukkah :) to you and the fam.

(Love the story about trying to use the needles to inject jelly...)

Anonymous said...

amen... just be nice. life is too short to be an asshole.

My Reality said...

Happy Chanukkah to you and your family.

One tip for injecting jelly - you decorate cakes, so surely you have a piping bag. Do you have any of the plastic disposable ones? You can cut a small opening in one of those and use it to pipe jelly into small openings. If not you can use a ziplock bag and make a small hole in the corner. I uses my disposable piping bags for this kind of thing all the time. I hope you figure out a way to get the jelly in!

Anonymous said...

Thanks as always for your wisdom.
Chanukkah Sameach...enjoy the oil!
peace
shlomit