Children Mentioned: Still not feeling very funny this morning. Perhaps it's the fact that my trip to the mall to buy my daughter stockings was a total bust. Seriously, children's store after children's store were selling black baby stockings. Baby stockings! When I inquired where were the plain white stockings, the employees stared at me blankly and said that they didn't sell light-coloured stockings. Because perhaps all babies are headed for a goth look this season. Perhaps they've put away all the light-coloured stockings because it's Friday the 13th.
But more important...the blogs.
Carolyn at This Sorta Fairytale had a great post this week about anger. Sadness came prediagnosis, but anger followed once she knew what was wrong...and what caused her infertility. I have a bunch of thoughts on this that I'll try to put into words over the weekend, but head over to her blog and read the entry because it's very interesting: is a diagnosis in the hand worth the emotional pain in causes?
Cecily at and I wasted all that birth control has an equally interesting entry on forgiveness. I think my favourite part of the post is her husband's ability to forgive and not carry anger into his relationship with his mother. Being able to forgive is a powerful thing--especially being able to forgive when an apology is not forthcoming. It made me think about the places in my life where I'm still storing anger. And how it affects me emotionally. And how all of that could be solved if I just forgave--even without the apology in my pocket.
Thalia over at Thalia's Fertility Journey had her anonymous blog suddenly become known by her RE and clinic, and all hell ensued. Her safe space where she could vent about treatments (both ART and...well...how she was treated by other people) is suddenly gone and she's contemplating what to do. It sounds like she may stop writing for a bit so she can think things through. I, for one, will miss her greatly. She is funny and smart and always provides thought-provoking writing. I'm sorry this happened, Thalia.
Lastly, over at Her Very Own, Akeeyu, has some very beautiful and heartbreaking posts about taking care of her father who is dying of cancer. I think the line that punched me hardest in the stomach came a few weeks ago when she first began writing about this process: "My father is dying without any grandchildren." It broke my heart and reminded me of a woman I once knew from the RESOLVE boards who found out that she was finally pregnant and that her father was dying all at the same time. And I just wanted to send a lot of strength her way. Hang in there, sweetie. This is the worst of life--at some point, you will have to be out of this space. Being out of this hole will be bittersweet because you will have been in the hole to begin with. But. There is sunshine when you come out of the hole. I hope you climb out soon.