Because I was the one who moved away. I stopped posting as often and then I stopped visiting as often. And finally I just dropped away. As these things happen. And I think about these women sometimes--Betsy, Chickenpig, APKim (short for Anti-Pineapple Kim), Seher. And I wonder if they ever built their families. Or if they're still on the road. I know that they're still in the Land of If because we're all still on this island. So I hope to run into them at the post office. Not the literal post office. The imaginary Land of If post office. Just to be clear that none of these women probably live in my town...And that I'm talking about real women and imaginary places. This is beginning to sound a bit like Mr. Roger's Neighbourhood.
So this is a tribute to the best advice I ever got from a fellow Stirrup Queen. I had come to the RESOLVE board crying over a comment that a coworker made to me about how she had gotten pregnant accidentally when she knew that we had been trying for a while and doing fertility treatments. And this is the advice that Seher gave me that I now pass along to you. You need to adopt a Southern accent, which may throw off the listener a bit. You know, going from your normal accent to a Southern accent (unless you're from the South. And I assume this will be even more obvious if you're from somewhere like France and you switch to an American Southern accent, but it is necessary. Say it aloud pretending you're Reese Witherspoon and you'll see exactly what she means). But when I use her words, scrunching up my nose and tilting my head just so, I imagine myself sipping sweet tea and being a sassy Southern woman rather than a crabby Mid-Atlantic woman.
Did she tell you what sexual position she used to get pregnant "accidentally"? Just wondering how on earth one could get so personal at work. But I know exactly how things get personal because I am the Mouth Of The South. Here in Mississippi, we can say, "Oh, how nice" in the most sing-songy kind of way - but what we really mean is "Go (expletive deletive) Yourself." I don't know where you live, but let's practice together . . . "Oh How Niiiice". But smile like you mean it. Then remember what it really means and maybe it'll perk you up. --Seher
Thank you, Seher. "Oh, how nice" has saved me from saying what I'm really thinking many times.