Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Eighteen some-odd comments later and I've got to believe you that you want a visible way to show others that you're not some skanky easy-breeder
and instead worked hard for your embies. And while I love, love, love the pomegranate idea, here are my fears:
(1) the expense--I love the necklace from Uncommon Goods AND (in case you didn't know) if you shop via the RESOLVE website, clicking on their Uncommon Goods link, they get a portion of the sale. But, I'm worried that it makes it undoable for the total community. While $30 isn't a lot in the grand scheme of life (hell, it's not even half a tank of gas out here), it is enough money to give someone pause. And if I had to choose between the vial of Follistim and the pomegranate necklace...well...Follistim (which is actually closer to $50 a pop, but what's a little money between a girl and her dealer...I mean, pharmacist) will win out any day of the week. That's not to say that my husband should not buy me this pomegranate necklace anyway. As a "just because" present. And he should purchase it via the RESOLVE website.
Can we pause for a moment to check out these photos and hyperlinks? I mean, as of twenty minutes ago, I didn't even know how to upload a photo. And now there are photos peppering this very post. Amazing!
(2) I'm worried that if it can't be discreet, people won't wear it. If it's not easy to get, people won't wear it. If you take it on and off daily, people will misplace it and not wear it.
Therefore...I'm just throwing this out there...what do you think of returning to the purplish string idea? Here are the advantages...(1) embroidery floss can be found in any town in America--and throughout the world. (2) you can never lose it because it's knotted around your wrist. (3) it's cheap. (4) it's easily replaceable over and over again. When I wore a red string, I replaced it once a year. (5) it is easily mail-able (is that a word) and if someone can't purchase it where they live, someone else can send it to them. (6) it's discreet.
Instead of Kabbalah red, I propose pomegranate...purple. Purplish-red. Though I had to use black for these sample photos because who has purplish-red embroidery floss lying around their house on an average day?
For those who don't know the significance of the red string, it comes from a small study within Judaism called Kabbalah. In the Bible, Rachel and Leah are both married to Jacob (ooh, la la, it's Big Love in the B.C.E.). Leah is popping out babies left and right while Rachel is unable to conceive. She finally tells her husband, "give me children, or I shall die." Her husband admonishes her and points out that he is not more powerful than G-d and it is G-d who is making her barren. Well... My friends... G-d heard this and got pissed off and told Jacob that this was not the way to speak to a woman in distress--we do not judge harshly.
Rachel goes on to conceive two sons--Joseph and Benjamin, losing her life during the birth of her second child. She's a woman I think many infertile Jewish women feel a certain kinship. Who hasn't felt that level of despair--give me children, or I shall die. Not to be dramatic, but I think we've all had those moments. There are the five mothers of infertility in Judaism who represent different sides and paths of the struggle: Sarah (the laugh of disbelief when you finally get a BFP and the doubt that accompanies pregnancy), Rebecca (the hopes and magical thinking of infertility), Rachel (the desperation), Hannah (the promises--and if IVF existed back then, she would have been our lady of A.R.T.), and finally Michal (adoption).
Infertile women sometimes go to Rachel's tomb in Israel and wrap a red string around the tomb. They cut it into smaller pieces and wear it on their left wrist in order to ward against bad luck. But I think it's more than that. I think it's that for some people, but I wore the string as a sign of community. I wore it to remind myself that other infertile women before me had children--my own mother had children!--and while they may not have carried those children in their womb or had them arrive when planned, they did end up becoming mothers.
So...I propose a purplish-red piece of string on the right hand (leaning more towards purple than red as to not create confusion). Why the right hand...I don't know. It just seems like the better hand when bringing good luck. I remember the superstition from my wedding is that you have to start walking down the aisle on your right foot. And you step into your new house with your right foot. And I wanted to set out on the path to motherhood with my right hand. On the right path. With an obvious sign to all my Stirrup Queens out there that I'm one of them and it's cool to stop me in line at the supermarket and ask me which green tea I'd recommend in order to increase cervical mucous. Because, yes, I did run a personal cervical mucous green tea test and I'd love to share my findings with anyone who wants the help.
What do you think?
Posted by Lollipop Goldstein at 1:24 PM