The Daily News

LFCA Latest Issue: Friday, September 25, 2009.

Latest Post on BlogHer: Parenting after Infertility.

My Status: Fed Josh's almonds to the squirrels. They needed them very badly.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Circle Time: The Show and Tell Weekly Thread

Show and Tell is wasted on elementary schoolers. Join several dozen bloggers weekly to show off an item, tell a story, and get the attention of the class. In other words, this is Show and Tell 2.0. Everyone is welcome to join, even if you have never posted before and just found out about Show and Tell for the first time today. So yank out a photo of the worst bridesmaid's dress you ever wore and tell us the story; show off the homemade soup you cooked last night; or tell us all about the scarf you made for your first knitting project. Details on how to participate are located at the bottom of this post.

Let's begin.

I had my feelings hurt by Facebook. Namely, a friend request I sent out this week. I will preface this by saying that I have no problem with someone not accepting my friend request--after all, I don't accept a friend request if I can't identify the person and they haven't given me anything to go on such as their blog name--OR asking me how we know each other when I haven't sent an additional message with the friend request. People get married and change their name, people need their memory jogged--I'm happy to do that.


This week I added someone that I was friends with for six years and when I say "friends" I mean that he is in every damn photo album I own from 1992--1998. I even spent my very last night at college with him (okay, and with a large group of other people, but his arm is around me in dozens of pictures from that night). And the kicker was that once I added him, I told Josh this story about how he frustrates me and Josh asked why I added him and I admitted that I saw he lived near another friend of mine and I wanted to introduce them and this seemed like the easiest way.

So I sent the friend request along with a short note stating that it's me, Melissa, from college. My maiden name and the college we attended. And he writes back, "how do we know each other?" How do we know each other? I yanked out a bunch of photo albums and showed them to the twins, placing Dan the Forgetful Man on trial. "Evidence A: my 21st birthday! Evidence B: some random night at Canterburys! Evidence C: somewhere on State Street!" At the end of presenting my evidence, I asked the twins if he was guilty of being a jerk and they replied yes. So, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it.

Seriously, I can understand a person I dated for three months my freshman year forgetting me, but someone that I saw daily for four years and kept in touch with for several years post college? I've been to more schools than him--that means I have more people to juggle in my head. And I can remember him.

I would have been totally fine if he had just ignored the friend request and we both went on our merry way. Admittedly, I probably wouldn't remember after a day or two that I sent it so we all could have walked away happy. But now he has made me wonder why someone is so sticky for me when I am so forgettable to them--and how you can be that forgettable after spending six years of your life being friends with someone. Sniff.

I wrote him back and said, "my mistake." Even though I knew it wasn't a mistake because I could see quite clearly from his icon picture that it is him.

So my Show and Tell this week are some pictures of me from back in college and grad school because I thought I should probably put them on Facebook and rotate them as my profile picture to jog the spotty memories of people like Dan the Forgetful Man.* My apologies--they are photographs of photographs because I don't have access to a scanner today.

From college--as you can see, the squash blossoms were a hairstyle I enjoyed back then as well. When the twins saw this picture they said, "oh! That's Lollipop Goldstein!"

In one of my offices during grad school. I somehow ended up with three offices--one that I requested in the library, and two that I was assigned in separate buildings. This was my least favourite one, but I really like this photo because it was taken on the day that I discovered the Catholic center on campus served vegetarian corn chowder daily and I began getting it for lunch several times a week. The chowder is not visible in this photo, but it still remains in my heart and probably my arteries. I didn't have short hair, but it was tied back in a bun in this picture. But I like that it looked like I had short hair. Does that make sense?

*I know this is the first time it happened and more often than not, I reconnect with the person and we both exchange a few emails and are happy to catch up. But still, this one hurt. Especially because he also ate my bowl of green tea ice cream at my 21st birthday. Bastard.

What are you showing today?

Click here or scroll down to the bottom of this post if this is your first time joining along (hint: link to the permalink for the post, not the main url for your blog and use your blog's name, not your name). The list is open from now until late Tuesday night and a new one is posted every week.

Other People Standing at the Head of the Class:

1. Bottoms Off and on the Table
2. Infertility Podcast & Blog
3. Weebles Wobblog
4. Kristin/TheFertileInfertile
5. Danse/...Into the Womb
6. Are You Kidding Me?
7. Conceive This!
8. Share Southern Vermont
9. WiseGuy
10. Cara
11. The Steadfast Warrior
12. In Due Time
13. Life and Times of Me
14. niobe
15. Not The Path I Chose
16. The Real Bean
17. Cara (Parenting After Loss)
18. Susan
19. One The Road to Baby
20. Delenn
21. Fractured Rainbows
22. Life Induces Thoughts, mostly random
23. Michelle
24. Tales of the Phoenix
25. Being Infertile
26. Fattypants
27. Dora
28. Baby Smiling In Back Seat
29. Tara
30. Busted
31. Ms. Fasionista
32. soulbliss
33. Vintage Mommy
34. Coffeegrl

Want to bring something to Show and Tell?
  • If you would like to join circle time and show something to the class, simply post each Saturday night (or earlier in the week or on Monday if you can't do the weekend), hopefully including a picture if possible, and telling us about your item. It can be anything--a photo from a trip, a picture of the dress you bought this week, a random image from an old yearbook showing a person you miss. It doesn't need to contain a picture if you can't get a picture--you can simply tell a story about a single item. The list opens every Saturday night and closes on Tuesday night.
  • You must mention Show and Tell and include a link back to this post in your post so people can find the rest of the class. This spreads new readership around through the list. This is now required.
  • Label your post "Show and Tell" each week and then come back here and add the permalink for the post via the Mr. Linky feature (not your blog's main url--use the permalink for your specific Show and Tell post).
  • Oh, and then the point is that you click through all of your classmates and see what they are showing this week. And everyone loves a good "ooooh" and "aaaah" and to be queen (or king) of the playground for five minutes so leave them a comment if you can.
  • Did you post a link and now it's missing?: I reserve the right to delete any links that are not leading to a Show and Tell post or are the blogging equivalent of a spitball.


Megan said...

Thanks for the forum to share and all that you do. Congratulations on the win. (I voted twice a day...once at home and once at work!!!)

Malky B. said...

Maybe the guy has amnesia? Hey you never know. People can get head injuries and forget things. Another possibility is that he hated his school years and has blocked everything out. Men are like that. I wouldn't take it too personally.

Congrats on your win - I voted alot to help make it happen. You are certainly remembered today by many people who appreciate all that you do to bring the IF community together.

Lori Lavender Luz said...

*I* used the word "Bastard" in MY S&T post, too!

As for being judged by a jury of his peers, Dan has been out-matured by a pair of 4 year olds.

HereWeGoAJen said...

I wish I had known you in college. You look like someone I would have been friends with.

bleu said...

I would likely not know someone from college, honestly. My memory is awful and I have soo much that happened after college it is like the hard drive in my brain did a few file dumps along the way.

Kristin said...

Sounds like Dan has a terminal case of Idiotica Amnesiacus. How could he forget someone as wonderful as you?

Tash said...

I'm guessing he was perpetually drunk during that time. ESPECIALLY if he was in Madison. What a weenie.

Wordgirl said...

Okay, not that I'm defending the guy but I"m going to try...I have a terrible, and I mean awful memory. I blame it on childhood trauma blahblahblah -- but as a result I honestly don't remember people very easily, and even people I was once close to after a long absence -- its as if my brain -- so accustomed to cleaning up bad memories -- washes the good memories too.

Okay, so I'm a weenie apologist...but it's possible?

See, this proves I'm eternally optimistic.

Anonymous said...

It is his loss, really.

'Murgdan' said...

Bizarre. Really. There are people I don't remember, but no one I spent that much time with.

Maybe he's had some type of head injury in the last few years?

Julie & Lisa said...

OK, also definitely not defending the guy (he's probably just really dense and forgetful) BUT-- playing devil's advocate, do you think he may have missed the message you sent him explaining the connection and instead just saw the friend request sitting in his "requests," whereby he clicked on the link to check out who it was and couldn't figure it out from your name (no maiden name) and profile pic? Of course that would mean he missed the photo album with (pretty recognizable) current pictures of you, but maybe...I have had that happen in the past (one memorable time in particular- remind me to tell you the story) and it was all because I missed the message that the person sent me with the friend request. Just a thought...or maybe he really is an idiot.

Cara said...

I have to admit, I have a terrible meomory for details- but PEOPLE I always remember.

Sorry facebooking made you sad. said...

Well, I think it is the guy's total loss for not being connected to you.

Second, yeps your photo does look like Lollipop Goldstein...the inspirational hairstyle! :)

I think I will do some of my own old snaps too, but I will go the adolescence, coz I really looked geeky then and unsure of what to do with what I looked like. Ah!

Jess said...

My vote? Hit him.

I lol'ed at your twins calling you my your alter ego's name! hahahaha!! LOVE IT!

AnotherDreamer said...

What a jerk! Wow.

Nice pics. I love the squash blossoms! (I do those all the time in summer, lol.)

The Steadfast Warrior said...

Facebook is a very odd place sometimes. And he ate your green tea ice cream? That's just mean. I think that's all I have to say about that. Love the twins' reponse. Too funny.

Sarah said...

i think you're onto something with the photos. i am leery of friending anyone those blast from the past type people if i can't see fromt he photo that it's who i think it is. and your squash blossoms pic is soooo cute!

Photogrl said...

Seriously, if you all spent that much time together...there is no excuse.

On a much happier note, congratulations on the win! You deserve it!

Brenna said...

Weenie! I'm sorry he hurt your feelings. Mine would have been hurt as well...and my hair in college was no where near as cute as your squash blossoms.

Susan said...

Show and Tell is fun! Thanks for letting me play!

Phoebe said...

It could have been a totally innocent comment. Seriously, I could see myself saying that to someone. My memory isn't what it used to be, sadly.

Love the Princess Leia look, aka "squash blossoms".

I'm showing off delurking art. Come on over and take a look!

Spare a Comment?

the misfit said...

I voted every day. On the first day I voted, I was concerned that you were not yet winning (close, though). On all subsequent days, I enjoyed watching as you pulled steadily away from the pack. I don't think those other medical blogs have quite the investment of this's not their fault, really.

Congratulations! And thanks for hosting show and tell!

FattyPants said...

I would totally be offended. Maybe he got hit with a frying pain and lost some of his memory.

And woohooo for the win...I voted almost everyday. I forgot once, but only once!

Baby Smiling In Back Seat said...

Wow, big class for S&T today!

re: pretending to have short hair, in 4th grade when we would flip the ends of our hair under to the napes of our necks and tuck it into our headbands, thus giving the illusion of "short" hair (though if your hair was quite long, it was just less long). When so many people now are putting so much effort into hair extensions, it's pretty funny that we all pretended to have shorter hair -- but those were the days when little girls (at least where I was from) rarely had short hair.

Tara said...

What a jackass.

Contractualations on the win! You deserve it!

Busted said...

I love the old pics, that's one of my favorite facebook past-times, checking out old pictures of my facebook friends.

Anonymous said...

There are people I have met many times over who never remember me - it really does make you feel insignificant!

Sorry that happened.

Coffeegrljapan said...

Yay on the win! How could that guy be so clueless? I love that you shared your old photos! I think I burned most of mine...evidence of bad hair etc.

battynurse said...

Those are great pictures of you!! And as far as the guy? For reasons I've never been able to determine, many men are incredibly forgetful creatures. I've met many who would forget anything that wasn't in their direct line of site or that they didn't currently interact with on a daily basis.